Chapter 24

Nissa stalked up to Seth'ius, her gaze stone cold. Her voice was calm but icy, "You're afraid of him turning into Jace and yet that is exactly what you are doing."

Seth'ius grabbed her arm, lifted it above her head, forcing her to her toes, and snarled, "Silence, Elf. Know your place."

Nissa wrenched herself free. Her eyes remained stone cold. Everything about her was calm and steady. "I know my place." Her eyes narrowed, "Do you know yours?" She lifted her head proudly, "You will reap what you have sown, Seth'ius." She turned and left the room.

"My Lord!"

Seth'ius snarled quietly but turned, "Yes?"

"The New God of the Sea has left his classes," the instructor reported resignedly, "Again."

Seth'ius nodded, "I will find him."

As Lian walked through the streets of the city, he noticed every fearful glance, and every inch of space between him and everyone else. People altered their courses to get out of his way. And if they were moving they watched him closely as he walked by, but turned their backs to him when he looked at them.

The person he bought a loaf of bread from happily chatted with the customers before and after him, but doesn't say a word to him. They won't even look him in the eyes. And a mother called her children to her side when they strayed to close to him.

Lian wandered into the center. He sat on the ground by himself and set his fox down next to him. Instantly the people nearby moved. He looked around, feeling empty, "I can't believe this was normal for so long." He stared at his hands, "I'm so alone."

The fox pawed at his hands.

Lian looked at it gratefully. He petted it, "I know, Buddy. I still got you."

It's face scrunched up in disgust when he offered it some bread.

He laughed and shrugged, "Not much of a fan, huh?" He tore off little bits of the bread he had and left it on the ground. Almost instantly birds gathered around him. They pecked at the bread he left on the ground for them.

People walking by gave him a very wide berth and watched him warily long before they even got close to him.

Lian was aware of it, but did his best to stay focused on the birds. He smiled a little bit and patted the top of one's head, "How's it going?"

"Hey! Isn't that-"

"Don't go near him, Saira."

Lian looked up and watched a little girl, that was maybe five, as she was dragged away from him by her mother. He waved when she looked back at him.

The little girl waved back. The entire family quickly disappeared into the city.

Lian sighed and picked at his fingers, "What did I do?"

The fox rested it's head in his lap. It licked his hands and barked quietly.

Lian petted it, "I know, Buddy." He brightened when a familiar little rabbit hopped up to him. He reached out towards it, "Hey, Great Lord Hopster."

The rabbit approached him without fear and sniffed at his knee.

Lian laughed. He rubbed the rabbit's cheek, "How've you been, Little Guy?"

He scowled. He was almost out of bread. But he didn't feel like going back to the city proper to get more. It was nicer to be with animals that didn't give a damn who he was than to deal with people glaring at him and turning their backs to him. He sighed, "I'm almost out guys."

"That's okay."

Lian jumped and looked over his shoulder. He growled slightly, "Loc. Dammit, you scared me."

"Sorry," Loc sat next to him, "Father's looking for you."

"That's fine," Lian snapped, "He can look to his filthy heart's content."

Loc smiled at Lian, "Mayu knows something, you know."

Lian glanced at him, "Like what?"

Loc shrugged, "I don't know. She won't tell me. But she definitely knows. Ever since you left weeks ago she's challenged Father more and more. She's much more like Mother than she used to be." He laughed, "She's ready to fight."

Lian studied his younger brother. His eyes narrowed, "This is another one of those 'I don't give away other people's secrets' kind of things isn't it?"

Loc shrugged, "Who knows?"

Lian rolled his eyes, "Last time I listened to you I almost died."

"But you got answers didn't you?" Loc asked. He smirked, "By the way, your fox is a girl."

Lian gawked at him, "What?! But you told me years ago he-she wasn't a girl!"

Loc laughed, "I know."

Lian groaned and laid back, "Really?!" He sat up and shoved Loc playfully, "You little jerk."

Loc grinned at him, "I didn't expect you to believe me."

"You're the one that can talk to all these guys," Lian motioned to the collection of birds sitting in front of them, "What was I supposed to do?"

Loc shrugged and got to his feet, "I don't know. Maybe you should've just gone with your instincts."

Lian's eyes narrowed, "You are a pain in the ass. I am going to get in so much trouble because of you."

Loc shrugged again, "Who knows? Maybe it'll be worth it this time." His gaze became fixed on a point beyond Lian and he disappeared.

Lian scowled, "Whatever." He looked around and saw Seth'ius and Daria walking him. Instantly his amusement at Loc faded. It was like his father and older brother sucked all the positive energy out of him. He sighed and got to his feet. He shoved his hands into his pants pockets and met them partway. He kept his head down.

"Why aren't you in class?" Seth'ius demanded.

"Because it's the most boring thing I've ever had the displeasure of having to do," Lian responded.

Seth'ius's face contorted with rage.

"Please don't, Father," Lian requested expressionlessly.

Seth'ius backhanded him anyway.

Daria's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. He quickly cleared his expression.

Lian pressed his lips together. After a moment he touched his cheek, "Ow."

"You're ungrateful. All you ever do is throw back into our faces everything that your family has ever done for you!"

Lian nodded slowly, "Yes, Father."

Seth'ius looked pleased, "To your room. You're not to leave it for twenty five days."

Lian nodded, "Yes Father." He picked his fox up and walked around his father and brother. He didn't look at Kala or Aria as he passed them on the way to his room. He set the fox down and kicked the door closed behind him. He laid down on his stomach and buried his face into his pillow, "Why do I have to be punished just for existing? Why can't I ever do anything right?"

The fox put it's head on top of his.

Lian could feel the numb calm that had consumed his since coming back begin to crack. It was all falling apart. He gritted his teeth.

The fox pulled away as he sat up.

Lian covered his face with his hands, "Father's going to be angry with me if I make Mayu sick again."

The fox stared at him intently. It's intense green eyes bored into him.

Lian didn't notice. He took very deep breaths in a desperate last ditch effort to remain calm.

The fox nudged at his hands with it's nose.

Lian slowly pulled his hands away from his face and looked down at it, "What?"

The fox barked and licked his hand.

Lian sighed. He laid back down and shoved his face into his pillow, "Why does he have to be the bad guy? Why does everybody think he's the bad guy? Maybe, just maybe, my life wouldn't be so miserable. If he had just-" He stopped when someone knocked on the door.

"It's Nissa. May I come in?"

Lian sat up and folded his hands in his lap, "Sure."

Nissa opened the door. She sat down next to Lian and wrapped him up in his blanket. She smiled, "I want you to listen to me, Lian."

Lian looked at her, "Yes, Mother."

Nissa cupped his cheek in her hand, "Something Seth'ius is very good at is pushing the blame onto others. I know it's going to be hard, but you need to do your best not to let him do it to you." Nissa kissed his forehead and held him close to her. She left.

Lian looked after her in confusion, "But...I don't understand."

"You remind him too much of his old enemy."

Lian jumped and turned towards his window.

A young woman with long brown hair and eyes the color of soil leaned against the windowsill. She straightened and walked over to him. Her fox ears were relaxed and her fluffy white tipped tail flicked back and forth at her ankles. She had visible freckles splashed across her face, neck, and shoulders. She sat down on his other side, "I'm Lucy."

Lian's eyes widened, "You...are one of the Old Deities. The Goddess of Sleep."

Lucy nodded, "That's me." She smiled, "I brought you the books on magic."

"Really? But I thought..." he glanced at the fox, even more confused now.

Lucy petted the fox, "She's a friend of mine." She looked at Lian, "I'm not really here. This is a mental projection because I was banished from this world by Seth'ius."

"Are you part of the Oracle's family?" Lian asked.

Lucy paused, "Well. Kind of. I'm a friend of the Oracle's older brother. But I was banished with her family."

Lian nodded, "So Ravnica's version is the right one."

Lucy shook her head, "Not really. No version is the right one."

Lian cocked his head to the side, "Then...Then what really happened?"

"I don't know," Lucy admitted, "I wasn't involved in any of it."

"I'm confused," Lian looked around, "What are you doing here?"

"I come to people when they are having difficulties to try and help."

"Really?" Lian asked uncertainly.

Lucy nodded, "You want answers. You want to know why you are punished so harshly for things your siblings could get away with. You want to know why your father seems to hate you so much." She met his gaze calmly, "It's because you, more than your brother Daria, remind him of the Old God of the Sky and Sea."

Lian cursed under his breath, "But I didn't ask for that!"

Lucy nodded, "I know. It's not your fault. You're just fine the way you are." She smiled at him, "You don't need to change, Friend."

"But I hate it!" Lian insisted, "I hate having to pay for everything! I look sideways at the ocean and suddenly I'm hiding bruises or worse from my mother so that she doesn't worry!" He studied Lucy almost desperately, "Why is the ocean cursed?"

"It isn't," Lucy answered, "Seth'ius's stories led people to believe they were. It was something created by the combined imaginations of people."

"So there's nothing wrong with it?!" Lian asked angrily.

"No," Lucy shook her head, "They aren't."

Lian held his head in his hands. "Are you kidding me?" he mumbled.

"It's okay you know," Lucy assured him.

Lian looked at her incredulously, "How?"

Lucy smiled. He looked and sounded almost exactly like Jace. She looked to his window, "Because things will be set right. And when they are you won't have to be in pain anymore. Mayu won't have to feel their pain anymore."

"When though?" Lian asked, "Mayu said it's soon. But that could be anywhere from tomorrow to I might as well be dead!"

Lucy studied him calmly, "What do you think? You are connected to the oceans."

"No I'm not," Lian argued, "Father says-"

"What do you say?" Lucy interrupted, "You know yourself better than anyone else, Lian."

Lian looked at her uncertainly. He didn't know.

Lucy leaned forward, "Where did the dragon come from? Where did the sphinx come from?"

"I don't know!" Lian snapped defensively, "Father said they were water demons!"

Lucy straightened, "But you do know." She smiled, "I know you know, Lian.

Lian looked away from her, "But that means…that means that it's my fault they were destroyed."

Lucy touched his shoulder, "No. It's Seth'ius's fault they were destroyed. You gave them existence. You were not the one that took it away from them."

Lian studied his hands intently, "Is that what Mother was talking about? When she said not to let him pin the blame on me?"

Lucy nodded, "I do believe so. It's not going to be easy, Lian. You've spent your whole existence being told it was your fault. You're entrenched in that belief."

Lian covered his face with his hands, "But why?"

"I don't know," Lucy shook her head, "I've long since given up on trying to rationalize Seth'ius's actions."

Lian looked at her, "If everything is my fault because I'm too much like him, then what about him?"

Lucy shrugged, "What do you think?"

"I don't know," Lian insisted, "I didn't know him."

Lucy nodded, "But you know yourself. Lian, I'm not going to tell you what to believe." She shook her head, "You've had enough of that in your life. What do you think is the truth?"

"But what if I'm wrong?!" Lian demanded.

Lucy studied him for a moment, "Being wrong is all relative. No matter which choice you make people will tell you you are wrong. If you are doing what you believe to be right, then you have done nothing wrong."

"But there's a morality to it isn't there?" Lian asked, "If people are hurting then whatever is going on is wrong, right? If innocent people are dying then whoever is responsible for it is wrong, right?"

Lucy smiled, "Unfortunately I am not a goddess of morality. I simple watch over those making difficult decisions, those in difficult places. And I watch over everyone while they sleep."

"So...you can't answer my question?" His eyes narrowed, "Or you aren't going to?"

Lucy shrugged, "However you would like to see it." She flickered out and disappeared.

"Lucy!" Lian got to his feet. He looked around his room and scowled. He flopped back onto his bed, "That was so unhelpful."