XXX
Grissom shifted the car into park and turned off the ignition. Turning to Sara, he took her cold hand in his. She was very pale and looked small. "Are you sure about this Sara?"
Sara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes, I want my life back Gil." Sara opened her eyes and stared out into the desert. "I don't want Natalie Davis to decide where I can live. I don't want all those victims to decide what my career is going to be. I don't want my father to decide whether I have a happy marriage. I want my fucking life back, and it's time for me to take it back." Sara raised her eyes to Grissom and he could see a fire that had been absent for some time.
"What do we need to do honey?" he asked with a faint smile. It was a relief to see the drive returning to Sara.
"I need to tell you what happened out here Gil" Sara dropped her eyes to their twined fingers.
"I know what happened out here honey." Grissom ducked his head down to look at Sara's face.
"No...you don't, not what really happened." Sara pulled her hand away and opened the car door, stepping out into the cool desert morning.
Grissom rubbed his hand across his face before leaving the car to join her. Stepping up beside her, he put an arm around Sara's shoulder and pulled her close. "Okay, what really happened?"
"I wasn't scared at first. I thought that if you knew who she was, you'd find me. No problem." Sara pulled away from Grissom and took a few steps forward, looking at the spot where she had been pinned under the car. "When she lowered the car on me I started to worry. It hurt like a son of a bitch, I kept calling her name, trying to connect to her, trying to humanize myself in her eyes, but she just drove away," Sara turned to look at Grissom. "That made me mad, I wasn't going to let her make me into one of her victims. I couldn't get loose though, damn car had me pinned good. When it started to rain I thought that it might help, maybe I could squirm out because of the mud."
Grissom could see tears starting to form in Sara's eyes and took a step towards her. "Sara, honey…"
Sara took a step back, "No Gil, I need to tell you everything." She turned away from him before continuing, "The water started to rise and I started to get scared. I pulled and pushed, but it didn't help. The water was really getting deep and I was starting to panic. I broke my own arm trying to get out. I didn't even feel it, but I heard it snap." Sara wrapped her arms around her waist, "Finally the rushing water shifted the car a little and I was able to get free. I know I should have stayed with the car, but I was so scared I just ran. When the sun came up I could see that I was in the middle of nowhere. I realized that even if you found the car now, it was too late… It started to get hot and I started to get thirsty. I started to feel inadequate, what kind of fool would leave the vehicle. I knew better." Sara started to pace, "I remembered that in the car Natalie had said that Ernie loved her more than you could ever love me. I was out here all alone and you hadn't found me yet, maybe she was right, maybe you didn't really love me."
Grissom took a step towards Sara but she held a hand up, palm forward motioning for him to stay back. Grissom could feel the tears starting to run down his face.
"That's when my father started whispering how stupid I was. Then Suzanne Kirkwood and Linly Parker started to tell me that I couldn't save them, how could I save myself." Sara glanced up at Grissom. "I tried to drown them out with multiplication tables, but I was getting so tired. It was hard to keep walking, but I knew if I stopped walking I'd probably die…Every time I stumbled it was harder to get back up... Why was I even out here? Natalie didn't care about me, she only wanted to hurt you."
Sara raised her head and Grissom could see the tears streaming down her face. His hand curled into fists at his side. She looked straight into his eyes before saying "So help me God, Gilbert, I hated you right then, I shouldn't have been here, it should have been you."
Sara crumpled to the ground, head slumping to her chest. "I gave up then, I laid down in the shade and closed my eyes and welcomed death. I gave up on you, I gave up on me, and I gave up on us. I'm so sorry Gil."
Grissom was in front of her in a few quick strides and sank to his knees, gathering her to his chest. "Sara, honey. You where out here for twenty hours. You walked for eight miles in a hundred and ten degree heat without any water. You had a broken arm and a dislocated shoulder. Honey, you have no reason to feel guilty, it should have been me out here. It was all my fault." His tears fell on Sara's hair as he rocked her gently back and forth.
Sara wrapped her arms around him and sobbed. "No Gil. See that's where we're wrong. Natalie Davis is nothing but a psychotic murderer. She did something horrible to me, sure, but I'm the one who's responsible for my life. I'm the one who's responsible for my happiness. I'm the one who has to take responsibility and take charge." Sara rose up to her knees and looked Grissom in the eyes, "And you're the one who's responsible for your life, your happiness. You can't make me happy and I can't make you happy, but we can be happy together. Natalie Davis can't ruin our lives, we can only let her ruin our lives. And I refuse to let her, or anyone else do that to me anymore."
Grissom looked at Sara with a confused look wrinkling his brow.
"Fuck Natalie Davis, fuck my father, fuck Clark County if they won't let us work together."Sara was shouting now. "We'll find someone who will. We'll find somewhere that we can have our life back." Sara looked deep into Grissom's eyes until his furrowed brow relaxed and a smile played upon his lips.
Grissom took a deep cleansing breath. Reaching out a hand to cup Sara's face he smiled. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" He raised his eyebrows at her, cocking his head to the side. Sara nodded at him. "Then let's get started."
Grissom helped Sara to her feet and they walked hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, back to the car.
XXX
I do believe this is the end. Thanks for reading, and many thanks for those of you who reviewed. I feel better now. For now at least, they have a happy ending.
