xx months later

Feliciano pushed open the wooden door. It was basically just a shed, adorned with a candle, a single mattress, and some old sheets. Feliciano had found it just after he was robbed, he supposed it's bare furnishings had been done by its previous owner, someone probably lost to the war too.

His stomach gurgled painfully, contracting with the need for food. It had been too long since he'd last eaten, and drinking water was getting scarce too, with only a couple of bottles left on his floor. He took a small sip from one to try and fill his stomach a little, but to no avail, it continued to groan and contract.

It was cold in the shed, dark too, the only light coming from the flickering candle he'd placed next to him on the floor. It made eerie shadows on the wooden walls, Feliciano didn't pay them any notice though. He was used to the eerie shadows of night.

Feliciano pulled out his diary, one he was glad wasn't in the bag when the gang had stolen it. He'd lost everything else. Though, Veneziano didn't care about the food or the warmer sheets. The only thing in that bag he felt sick about losing was the ring. The final thing Ludwig had given him before his death. The last thing tying them together was gone, and there was nothing Feliciano could do about it.

After getting his pen out, Feliciano began to write. His fingers shook with cold, and his body was weak. He coughed, and coughed, then continued writing. It was the only thing keeping him sane, the only thing reminding him that he was still human.

October, 3rd, 2019

You'd think as a country I'd be used to change. Used to life flipping upside down in the blink of an eye. But nothing could have prepared me for this. Nothing in all of those years training with you and Japan could have ever prepared me for the outbreak. It happened so fast. One minute everything was fine, the next the world was filled with these lifeless beings. Literally. Human beings that lived purely to kill and eat other living beings.

It was strange really. You always told me the training was worth the effort, he always said I'd be prepared for anything. Any attack. How wrong he was. I really wish he had been right. I wish his training had prepared me for the horror that is the world right now.

Big brother Spain told me everything was going to be okay, that everything and everyone was going to be okay. He was wrong too. It seems a lot of people have been wrong about things when being right is really what matters. I wish big brother Spain was right, I wish everything was okay. I wish he was here. I wish someone was here.

I lied to you last time we spoke. I told you I wasn't scared. I wish I was a better liar.

Big brother Romano called me a few days ago, I think it was a mistake. There's no way it could have really been him. He didn't talk, but that was okay. It was nice to just pretend I was talking to him, it's been so long. I pretend to talk to you sometimes. When I'm lying in the scratchy sheets, alone and cold, I pretend you're beside me, counting sheep and smiling. It hurts more than it helps, but I can't stop myself. I guess in some sick way it's soothing. It distracts from the physical pain for a while.

Sleeping is harder these days. The cold keeps me awake, and the few times I do get to sleep the nightmares wake me back up, shivering in the thin sheets due to the thin layer of sweat covering my body. Nights are getting really cold, and my body is getting weaker due to lack of food. I'm so hungry, I could even eat some wurst right now. Ha. Imagine that. I must really be starving.

I've cried a lot recently. I wish you were here to tell me off for that. I can just imagine you yelling at me to stop being a baby. Although, I'm not sure you would yell at me in this situation. In fact, I think you'd pull me against you and cry along with me, whilst still promising me that we'd get through this as long as we stuck together. And then I'd nod, wipe my eyes and go about my day, all because I trusted you. I'd be able to pretend that I wasn't scared for just a little longer. Wishful thinking's a bitch though because you're not here. I don't really know where you are.

I think that's all I can write for tonight. I don't know when I'll write again.

I know it's futile, and maybe a little pathetic, but writing these letters to you makes me feel less alone. Less like I'm by myself in this shithole of a world. I'll try to write again soon. Maybe in some parallel universe, you're reading these notes. These futile attempts to get through to you.

Oh, and one last thing. Happy birthday. I really wish I could be with you. I tried to make you a cake, but I didn't have any eggs. Or flour. Or sugar. Or really anything. Instead, I drew a cake in some mud, with candles and everything! But the wind blew it away. It was nice whilst it lasted. Oh! I also got you a present, you'll get it as soon as I see you. I love you.

The final letter. The final entry. Though, Feliciano didn't know that as he blew out the candle, the small shed falling into pitch darkness. He still didn't know as he settled down, sleep taking him quickly. The end. The last goodbye.

A/N: OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S DONE.

This has been a long few days bulk-writing the last three chapters but fuck I'm proud of them. I think the last chapter (minus the epilogue) is the best I've ever written.

I want to thank anyone who has been reading this from the beginning, and those who have only just found it. Really, I want to thank anyone who managed to read it all. This story was completely unplanned (other than Germany and Romano's deaths, they were both planned from the beginning), but other than that, completely winged. Which, when reading it I find it's very obvious in places that it wasn't planned, but I just don't care.

I'm so proud of this story, and I genuinely love reading it back, and I hope other people do too.

Seriously, this chapter was a long time coming, and I damn I worked so hard on it.

Again, thank you so much for reading, and if anyone has any questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Also, I'd really love some fanart of something in this fic, it would mean the absolute world to me.

Finishing this up was a little emotional, I won't lie. I'm so happy to have it done, but my God I enjoyed writing the final chapters.