Hello again ^^

(I'm becoming so lazy, sorry -.-)

Thank you for everything and love you all! :3

It was a hot day despite being winter season. Fay took off her sweater after being on the balcony for fifteen minutes and going back to the warmth inside the house, but immediately was forced to wear it again after a shiver ran all over her body. It was the kind of day that seemed to light moods, she had even seen kids playing noisily down in the playground. But she was hating it. The sky didn't clear, the sun was shining brightly through mildly thick clouds producing a blinding annoying white light and the weather didn't seem to decide between hot and cold. Just like her body temperature; she'd been in bed the last couple days with an awful cold. There was nothing for her to enjoy. And even though she liked Filip's care and company, he didn't let her do absolutely anything. His overprotective character always active to the extent of making her feel trapped, and since she was used to live normally and take care of herself even if she was sick, it was something new, and somehow suffocating.

The first day was a Friday and she lost her voice, which made her go through really embarrassing minutes when the biology teacher asked her a question and believing she was faking it when Gili told him she couldn't talk, he made her mouth the words even if her voice didn't come out. Everybody obviously thought it was pretty funny, soft laughs filled the room mixed with sympathetic looks until she couldn't stand it anymore and covered her face with her hands to hide the blushing cheeks. That's when the teacher decided it was enough humiliation to convince him. Later the fever weakened her and the school nurse sent her home. Her mom didn't know about her that day until she left a message in the answering machine saying she would stay at a friend's house, just in case she decided to worry. Intentionally, she didn't mention for how long.

The second day Filip made her go to the doctor. No matter how many times she tried to convince him she didn't want to go, in the end she had to relent since her breathing was getting worse. The doctor was a nice and young woman that Fay liked a lot until she gave her a shot that really hurt, it made her cry but just a little, she didn't want to embarrass herself by acting like a kid. Overall it wasn't a nice visit to the doctor, but it made her feel better afterwards.

It was already the fourth day, there was no more fever, and her voice was coming back, but she still felt really tired, as though her whole body were heavier than ever. And after her little escape to take some fresh air she went back to the cozy place besides Filip, her head was resting on his lap while he gently stroke her hair, their eyes staring at the TV screen, watching the 4th Doctor Who's season. It was relaxing; she realized that the oppressive feeling was starting to fade away along with the cold.

In terms of comfort, Filip always spoiled her to no end, but when being sick, 'spoil' was an understatement; she only had to pronounce the words and whatever she wanted would be granted. He even stayed with her the entire time and she vaguely wondered if he was doing it just to miss school, but immediately concluded it wasn't the case, he didn't even need those kinds of excuses.

At that point, everything was going smoothly for them, but Fay had come to understand a lot of things about the boy she loved so deeply; she knew perfectly well that he was making the double of effort to keep his cool all the time since the last time he hurt her, about three months earlier; and she knew it was because he felt guilty; he didn't even argue her the times she didn't agree with him like before, even if those times were rare; but she also knew him better than that. There were brief moments when a gleam of exasperation showed up in his eyes if he didn't like something she did or said. It appeared when she put into action those little rebellious acts, objections against his compulsive behavior of treating her like a little girl unable of taking care of herself and making her own decisions. That scarce and seemingly harmless gleam that usually led him to lose his temper, but that now he was successfully controlling so well. However, it was becoming harder and harder every time, she was aware of that. He would eventually forget the guilty feeling one day, and have another outburst and probably hurt her again too. But so far nothing bad had happened, and she tried not to think much about that, being even afraid to admit that the idea terrified her. She truly believed he loved her, so he wouldn't hurt her again, at least not intentionally.

"Your hair is really soft"

His voice interrupted her train of thought.

"What?" Fay asked in a low and strained voice, still affected. It was a sick and weak sound, and she hated it.

"Your hair, I said it's really soft"

"Hmm" She replied without paying much attention.

"For some reason it gives the impression of being spiky"

"Really?"

"Yeah" He said and lightly pressed his forehand on her cheeks and forehead, checking her temperature "I guess it's the haircut you have"

"I-I guess…you don't like my haircut?"

"I like it" He answered and she didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling "How are you feeling?"

"Fine" She turned to face him so she could see him through sleepy eyes "I'm way better" A weak smile crossed her lips and she hoped that was enough to make him see how well she was feeling.

"Good. You should sleep now. I'll wake you up when dinner is ready"

Fay didn't like the idea and her nose wrinkled a little making a face of weary disappointment. And more instinctually than willingly, she turned around so her head rested on the pillow and with a final grumble she fell soundly asleep.

Filip smiled at her feeble stubbornness and walked out of the room after lowering the TV volume.

Fifth day, and she still wasn't allowed to go to school even when she was feeling almost completely fine already. Fay was gazing out of the window, a little blue bird landed on the frame as if waiting for its partner that arrived seconds later and then both flew away again; a wide and unnoticed smile spread on her face, a gesture that faded as fast as it appeared, being replaced by a sudden pang of sadness.

The last few days, they had spent a lot of time together; there were a lot of little talks and long talks, in the kitchen while preparing breakfast and sitting in the carpeted floor while looking at the fire and listening to music for hours. They talked about nothing and about everything. And it was great, she loved the simple joy of heartwarming laughs and meaningful little moments. But sometimes there were things she didn't feel ready to face yet. The topic had come up before and more than once, but never had it felt so real. She already knew Filip was planning on traveling to get his degree on business administration; he had been studying his options since the beginning of his senior year. And she knew that he was probably even thinking about going abroad. He was a person with high expectations and a bright future ahead; there was nothing for him in a small town after he graduated.

He finally told her he was applying for a well-known university that was only 2 hours away from Happy Tree by plane. Only 2 hours away; but that was his way of seeing it. For Fay, it was way too far away. At least it wasn't abroad; that was her only comforting thought.

"There are less than 4 months until I graduate" Was the last thing she heard him say, that's when she decided to unplug for a few seconds and the little birds had opportunely caught her attention.

"Fay…are you listening to me?" He used an ominous tone of voice that she hadn't heard in a long time. Her eyes snapped to look at him a bit alarmed, still not being able to avoid those kinds of reactions. But it was safe, it was still safe, a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"I'm listening to you" She lied while wearing a mild smile, wishing she couldn't listen to him. Finding out the inevitable was something that could wait.

Her inattention clearly exasperated him to some extent; it felt like he was risking a lot of things with what he was going to ask, though he probably already knew the outcome, and it wasn't good news. After taking a deep breath, he felt his body relaxing. He quickly recovered and his eyes seemed to clear again. "I'm saying you should come with me"

This time she heard his voice loud and clear, but somehow the words seemed to come from a faraway place.

A weak and confused laugh escaped her lips "What? N-no, I can't…"

"Why not? I want you to come with me" Filip said with a stern look on his face, and she realized he was talking seriously.

"I…" She shook her head smiling bitterly. Confusion was the first thing that crossed her mind, then there was incredulity which was immediately dissipated by the seriousness of his eyes and the confusion came back. How come he did not see the impossibility on what he was saying? She inhaled deeply one more time and spoke again "I don't have the same facilities as you do, I mean, there is no way I could afford moving on my own to a place like that"

"Don't…Fay, don't think about the money. You can finish high school there, and then you can go to college too. If we speak with your mom…I know Ed can convince her to give you the permission so you can travel with me"

"That's not the problem. Th-that's not it" She shook her head and looked down, totally dumbfounded by the enthusiasm in his words. Thinking her indecisiveness could be the cause of their break up pained her more than anything, because she didn't have the courage to even inquire for a long distant relationship even though she would be willing to wait for him her entire life, but she couldn't agree to his request without feeling uncomfortable, as if taking advantage of him; and that was only one side of the problem. What if he got tired of her, if one day he decided he was wasting his time at her side and decided to end it all? She most definitely couldn't endure such suffering.

"There is nothing else to worry about"

"Yeah? How come? Who's gonna pay for all of it. Your family? No way I'm gonna agree with that"

"I'll get a job" He answered quickly, having thought about it already "I know I can ask him to get me a good job even if I'm just starting college"

She knew that him was his father , and the idea of having his support didn't encourage her in the slightest.

She stared at the boy in front of her, disconcerted. Was he actually aware of the implications on his 'simple' request? He probably hadn't thought about it through. It was asking her to move with him, and once there he was supposed to take complete care of her; thing that he was already doing more than half of the time. But they would be living together. The thought popped up in her mind and a light blush crawled up her cheeks. Just thinking about spending the rest of her life at his side made her heart beat faster, but from where she was standing it seemed impossible. They were already so far from each other, being so different and so young, it could become too much to handle.

"I-I…just can't. Please, d-don't…" She stuttered feeling the tears already falling. It was painful enough knowing they would have to part ways in least than half a year. And she by no means wanted to interfere with his studies and future plans "I couldn't ask you to do that for me"

He harshly drove his hands behind his neck and then pulled from a few strands of his own hair while a hissing sound came out of his mouth. He already knew she was going to react that way, why did he even bother to ask? It was useless.

She waited.

He sighed, gave a step closer and then smoothly pressed his lips on the corner of her mouth and her cheek, kissing her twice. "Just think about it, okay?"

Until that moment everything was all right, but fear had settled around her, deep and dreadful, around her heart and around his words. She nodded, but the possibility still didn't fit in her mind.

On the sixth day she finally could assist to school. And it was somehow relaxing. There were only two days until the school dance and the anticipated excitement was present all over the schools halls.

During P.E. Fay sat silently to watch the girls playing basketball since certain bossy boyfriend had already warned the teacher she couldn't do any physical exerting activity that day. Something to thank him actually, she wasn't really fond of sports. But she soon started to feel sleepy again, and thought that maybe rushing to go to school hadn't been such a good idea after all, something that she obviously wouldn't admit in front of Filip.

After a while, she spotted a girl hobbling a little while helping herself up the stairs and holding the railing. It was Tottie. Fay stared at the girl's ankle as she got closer.

"Hello" Said Tottie as she sat next to Fay.

"H-hi" She replied shyly.

During that period on Wednesday there were two groups that had P.E., Tottie's was the other one. She looked down again to see the girl's bandage under her dark green sandals.

"How are you? Are you not feeling well?"

"No, I just had a cold and…I'm fine now. Wh-what happened to you?"

"I hurt my ankle the weekend while skiing so I can't do P.E. either" Said the girl while laughing and rolling her eyes.

She had always looked like a very nice person to Fay, and now she could say for sure that it was true. The pink haired girl was very polite and kind while talking, the kind of person who has certain charm or charisma and who is easy to talk to. She told Fay about her trip with her family and the unfortunate turn of events when she had sprained her ankle. She had a hard time trying to convince her family she was already fine to go to school, being bored to death in her house doing nothing all day. Fay could totally relate to that and it made her laugh.

When class was ending they had an unpleasant but expected visit. Lannie came to them and even though she tried to hide her displeasure at seeing Fay sitting next to her best friend, her smile failed for a moment reveling what the other two girls already knew very well. She didn't like Fay.

Lannie kneeled in front of Tottie, placing her crossing arms on her friend's lap.

"How are you feeling?" She said smiling broadly and trying her best to ignore the red haired girl's presence.

While talking with Tottie, Fay had seriously wondered why such a nice and sweet girl would be so close with someone like Lannie; she guessed the girl would say something like: 'She's not that bad', with a heartwarming smile on her lips. Just like everyone else, and still Fay couldn't believe it, until that moment. Now she actually started to understand that the so antipathetic girl wasn't that bad after all. When it came to her friends, Lannie was apparently quite a pleasant person. A long sigh escaped her lips, she had been overthinking everything lately, and it was somehow exhausting. The thought of wanting to hate the purple haired girl occupied her mind for a moment for no apparent reason. But somehow, she couldn't. Just like her, Filip had tried to keep Lannie away, and just like her she had refused to do it, and she didn't know his reasons, but her girlfriend could have been Lannie instead of her. Strangely, it made her feel a kind of sympathy towards the girl. The only reason she could think of as for why they didn't end up together was maybe that Lannie was too pushy, and she already knew that wasn't a good idea. And she didn't dislike Lannie for being friends with Filip, not even for the obvious crush she had on him. She disliked her for her constant hostile attitude towards Fay since the very beginning.

"We can go now, I asked the teacher" Said Lannie to her friend while smiling.

"There are still fifteen minutes until class ends, let's watch the match"

"Okay" She replied with a sigh and glared at Fay who wasn't even looking at her.

When the game finished, the impatient purple haired girl stood up, her shining necklace swung freely in the air, and Fay couldn't help but look at it, for some reason it really caught her attention once again. The little L shaped pendant was really pretty and elegant, with tinny diamonds in the middle of it, and for one second, Fay thought she really envied her for having it, as for why, she didn't understood yet.

"You like it?" Lannie asked as soon as she noticed Fay was looking at the necklace. Her eyes bored into Fay's with a sly smile that talked about self-satisfaction.

Fay pursed her lips but answered despite not liking her tone of voice "Yeah, it's pretty" She said quietly.

"It is. It was a gift-"

"Lannie" Tottie interrupted and Fay turned to look at her, surprised by her apprehensive tone of voice but Tottie didn't look her back.

"Filip gave it to me" She continued, sounding really proud of that and ignoring her friend.

Fay felt even more uncomfortable and brushed her hair behind her ear "I see" She said with half a smile. It was definitely awkward, she didn't want to know about the things he gave her.

"It was his mother's. You know, because her name was Leia, so it matches my name too, and it was something really precious to her, and well, it looks lovely on me"

Fay couldn't hide her surprise and Lannie's cocky expression reflected on wide amber eyes. She then realized why it caught her attention so much. It was effectively something she saw on Filip's pictures, and it was true his mother wore it all the time, but what was even more shocking for her was that Lannie knew so much about her when Fay thought she was the only one.

"We…we better get going" Said Tottie and dragged her friend to help her go down the stairs "bye Fay" She said apologetically, and clearly embarrassed by her friend's behavior.

"Bye" She replied absentmindedly.

"I bet she doesn't have something like this" Lannie said to her friend loud enough so Fay could catch her words.

"Lannie, please" Tottie snapped at her, already annoyed. Even though she loved her friend, it was becoming hard to understand. She knew Lannie wasn't the nicest person in the world but she had never tried to hurt someone in that way before. It was all because of Filip, Tottie was sure of that; up until Fay made an appearance in his life, Lannie thought she could be at his side no matter what because he never let anyone else get close to him, he never took any girl seriously, so being his only friend Lannie could stay at his side as long as it took her to make him look at her in a different way. But then Fay came around turning everything upside down, soon becoming a couple and probably it was too unexpected, but it was time for Lannie to get over it and move on. Tottie was decided to have a serious talk with her friend, she definitely had to talk some sense into her.

"What? She just has to stop thinking she's so special"

Every previous thought already removed, and now Fay thought she could get to hate her after all. It wasn't that hard, and Lannie obviously wanted it to be that way. But probably there was some true in her words, she wasn't special at all.

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow" Fay mumbled and didn't actually expect him to hear her. She was sitting next to the fireplace on Filip's house, her hands on her knees and her eyes going from the floor to Filip who was sitting in front of his computer.

He was checking the last e-mail from his father, it had been a while since he wrote, which wasn't rare, he only wrote when he needed to inform him of some important matter. This time though, he just wanted to warn him (if he knew what was better for him), to not get involved in any kind of trouble since he was in the middle of an important negotiation concerning his business and couldn't afford having a scandal in his family.

"Okay. Don't go" He said after a few minutes and then stood up to go downstairs.

She lied down on the wide and comfortable seat, feeling terribly depressed. His moody behavior was something she was already used to, so it was easier to handle after the first couple months, but not that day. She felt like something was oppressing her chest, knowing well that it was a huge mistake letting Lannie get into her in that way. She just couldn't stand her teasing anymore.

Suddenly she didn't feel all that comfortable being there anymore. She needed to stop feeling lonely and there was only one person who could make that happen.

While walking down the stairs slowly, she kept thinking, a bit tangled by all the necklace matter, and reminding herself Filip said Lannie wasn't someone special to him, at least no more than a simple friend. But nobody would give something with such sentimental meaning to just anybody, besides, her confidence always dropped to zero when she compared herself to the purple haired girl. Both in looks and about who knew Filip better, she felt completely at disadvantage.

Filip stopped on his way upstairs, suddenly aware of Fay's words; probably she was feeling sick again. He knew he shouldn't have let her go out so soon.

The moment he stopped in front of the girl, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, feeling her heart throbbing in her mouth, being afraid he would push her aside and ask her to stop being so clingy. He didn't reject her, just circled her with his arms. But somehow he felt so absent that her mind weakened immediately, all her insecurities and worries washed over her. She could ask him what was wrong, what was bothering him, why was he acting so cold…Instead, she said something that was going to regret later.

"Why did you give her the necklace?" She spoke softly, hiding her face against his neck, not daring to look at him.

"What?" He let go of her so he could see her face but she didn't answer. Her troubled expression made him impatient.

"Fay, what are you talking about?" He repeated, making his voice more pushy and harsh, he wasn't in the mood for begging.

After letting out a long sigh she looked down and spoke "The necklace…" She said while nervously lacing her fingers together "You gave Lannie…yo-your mother's"

It only took him a few seconds to know what she was talking about. He scoffed while gazing at her in a way that made her feel really hurt. As if he thought of her as pathetic, which in that moment, he did. It was a meaningless and totally insignificant worry.

"Is she messing with you?"

"N-no…it's-"

"Don't lie Fay, it's lame when you try" He talked to her in a haughty tone while walking to the kitchen. Both his attitude and words made her frown; she had just seen him coming from the kitchen. She didn't know he had gone downstairs for a glass of water, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do after aimlessly walking around a couple of times

"I gave it to her, because she wanted it and I didn't"

"And that's all?" She snapped at him, getting defensive.

"Yes, that's all. And in the end, you're the one making people pick on you"

While he filled a glass with water from the fridge, she brought her hand over her mouth, a pained expression on her face. She didn't understand why he had to be mean, and precisely when she was already feeling so meaningless and downhearted. He wasn't even making sense.

"So it's my fault now?" Inquired Fay quietly.

"You can seriously be so stupid sometimes Fay" He said in a spiteful tone and tears pricked her eyes as she started to tremble, feeling her breath turning into sharp glass in her throat "Do you really think she dislikes you for being with me? It's all because of your friend Spencer, so yes, it's your fault after all"

She stared at him strangely, confused. Was it because of Spencer? That would be equally bad, she just wanted the nosy girl to leave her alone, but it was definitely disconcerting. Not totally unexpected though...

"Wh-whatever you say, it's still not my fault!" She said while sobbing.

He hated the fact that her expression and resolution changed immediately after hearing his name. The way she smiled while being with Spencer and the way he looked at her infuriated him and he was about to burst with outrage, trying to bit back the fury gathering within him. But with a sudden movement of his hand, the glass of water collided against the wall and shattered, spilling little pieces all over the sink and the countertop, and it somehow helped him to restrain his emotions. Fay jumped startled by the loud and sharp sound echoing all around the wide and almost empty room and turned to look at him. Her eyes wide, her mouth trembling. He was staring down, his middle finger and thumb were at both his temples, then his eyes fell onto hers.

"I don't feel like dealing with this right now" He said between clenched teeth.

She felt her knees weakening and sat down on the stairs, completely worn out. The weight of her gathering distressful thoughts finally falling over her shoulders. The pain of him going away and the fear of losing him forever, of feeling abandoned, of never getting to see him ever again; the exhausting task of trying to understand him; the annoying comments of Lannie; and her constant insecurity piling up. It was more than her heart could handle and she felt it breaking little by little with any new concern. She started to question her conviction and none of her feelings seemed fair anymore.

"I don't want this anymore…I-I'm so tired" An endless flow of tears made its way down her cheeks as broken words were pronounced, her voice was weak and faltered because of the sobs "So tired…" She repeated in a whisper, staring absently at the floor in front of her, feeling the air leaving her lungs and the tears flowing nonstop.

"So…that's how it is?" He said, with a blank expression, his voice dark and unaffected. But inside, those words made him feel a pang, a deep pain in his heart recriminating him. It was a raw desperation and disappointment, because the moment had finally come, when she didn't want to keep up with him anymore. And he had always thought he would be able to see it coming, the moment when she'd pronounce those words, but he was wrong, being still far from understanding how she felt. And that was only his mistake, because he had to fight his lack of empathy if things were going to work properly between the two of them, and he had failed miserably. A helpless kind of terror had risen up in him, but it was too late.

Fay couldn't see the hurt in his eyes, so she couldn't understand any of that. And in that moment it was okay, because if she came to see what he was actually feeling, regret would be added to her pile of tortuous worries.

"You're being unfair" She said, so quietly that he got it by reading her lips more than by hearing her voice. But what she actually wanted to say was: You're being hypocrite.

If she had a friend he didn't like it was a problem and he was right, but if she expressed the slightly bit of jealousy towards a girl who had feelings for him and who was constantly trying to bother her, she was plainly stupid, and that was unfair, and that was hypocrisy.

"Fine by me Fay, so whatever you want…for once, I won't try to stop you" He said dryly while looking at her.

And so, she decided to leave. If he really didn't care, she didn't have the strength to go against it. And feeling defeated as if he had just crushed her heart right in front of her eyes, she walked to the door without looking at him, but with a deep pain in her chest. She didn't want to go, but it was something she desperately needed to do, not being able to ponder at the moment what was more painful, being away or being at his side. When the door closed behind her, her first thought was that she was going to die, that her heart had already stopped, so she ran, trying to erase the aching feeling. Maybe the worst part was that this time there were no excuses, he didn't act impulsively letting his control slip from his hands, at least not entirely. This time he was fully aware of his actions and words, it was his will to hurt her even if just with words, and she felt the tears were never going to stop.

Done! Thank you for reading.

I know a lot of people can't stand this type of relationships of going up and down, and a weak girl and everything, but that's exactly what I wanted to write so hope you like it anyway :3 though things will change a little bit from next chapter on, I can't say exactly for good, but they'll definitely change :P