A/N: These are the chapters which explain why Jason is Batman, not Dick. The reason Dick was Batman in the first place will be explained in the Battle for the Cowl chapters. I tried to channel my own older sibling instincts into this one to give it a more realistic feel for certain sections. I hope that it works.

Warnings: The Joker and Jason, nothing is going to be pretty or happy. Violence on par with canon, Batboys in peril, language, references to the drugging of minors with hallucinogens, canonical death of a child (while the actual death is not described, the immediate aftermath is)

Notes about the timeline: This chapter follows on directly from chapter 23 (Fightin' Words). To Review; in that chapter Dick was quite ill, Jason and Bruce had been fighting, Tim/Cass have terrible taste in movies, and Jason ran away from home. The chapter flashes back and forth between two time points four years apart (The earlier time is when Jason is 16 and Dick is 19, i.e. chapter 23, and the later time is when Jason is 20 and Dick is 23). I guess the only other thing you need to know is that this takes place two weeks after Bruce died. Battle for the Cowl took place in the first few days after his death and Dick has been Batman since then.

I also want to apologize for the timeline being so screwy. Once I finish this I'll be posting a version with everything in the correct order for y'all. As always, if you have any questions review or PM me and I"ll happily answer them! Y'all are amazing!

Chapter 25: The Ones We Lose, Part 1

Now

The first thing Red Hood saw when he woke up was Batman on the floor in front of him. His hands and feet were tightly bound with chains, his eyes were pressed tightly closed under the mask, and, most alarmingly of all, a thin trickle of blood snaked out from under the cowl and down his left cheek. Jason jerked forward, attempting to reach the older man. Head injuries terrified him, especially when they were associated with the only brother he could currently stand to be around in costume for more than two minutes. He made it less than a foot forward before previously unnoticed chains yanked him back.

"Batman?" he whispered, because he was in his costume too and there was no reason to be throwing secret identities about willy-nilly.

No response.

"Batman, wake up," he could hear the fear in his own voice and it was infuriating. He was the Red Hood, the scourge of Gotham's drug runners, he didn't fear anything (except, you know, Bruce's disappointment and Dick's injuries, and the little ones not loving him anymore, and when the hell did he go so damn soft?!).

Batman groaned. It was a soft noise, barely an exhalation of air and vocal cord vibration. It was maybe the best sound Jason had ever heard.

"Terror?" The word slipped from Batman's lips and Jason wanted to cry. When he wasn't 'Bar' now-a-days, he was 'Little Terror', it was embarrassing and he had begged (begged) Batman to simply use the second word.

"Yeah, it's me, Wingster," Jason reassured quietly, it was technically taboo to use any name related to Dick's former identity, but right now he needed the familiarity to sooth his own nerves. He yanked once more at the chains which bound him to the wall. "Are you okay?" If it was any other member of their little family he would not have been able to bring himself to ask. Emotions had been a lot more difficult for him ever since Brue died. But, Dick had always been the exception to all the rules.

Dick's head tilted to one side and Jason noticed for the first time that the cowl had a slight dent in the side, just behind his left temple. Whatever had hit the side of his head was worse than he had feared. Now that he was more alert Dick did not look like he was going to speak again. Jason expected as much. No matter what uniform he was wearing, Dick did not talk in front of criminals and they had no idea if they were being watched or not.

He stared at Jason for a while before slightly shaking his head. Jason's breath stilled in his chest. Dick never admitted to being in pain, to not being okay at all times. If he was admitting to being injured….

"How bad?" he whispered.

Batman didn't respond again and Jason started counting his eldest brother's breaths. It was a relaxation technique Bruce had drilled into him all those years ago when he was just starting off as Robin. There was no way he could ever be relaxed given the circumstances, but he hoped he could maybe stave off the intense panic that was dancing around the edges of his consciousness.

A high, maniacal laugh echoed through the room and all hope of calming himself fled.

The Joker.

Time was a fluid concept for Dick. One moment he was chained on the floor across from the Red Hood his head aching viciously and his mouth dry. Then, he would blink and suddenly he was curled up in the tiny room he had called home for nearly four years before Batman and Bruce entered his life. He tried to focus on the present, but that was difficult when he wasn't quite sure which was real.

The Court has always told him there was no escape, no way out. Truthfully, until he met Bruce he'd thought the same as them. But – but, what if he hadn't really met Bruce? They'd drugged him before, made him live lives where his parents never fell (lives filled with warm embraces and empty faces, and why why why couldn't he remember what his mother looked like?) and lives where Great Uncle loved him and held him and he wasn't a constant disappointment (and he really didn't know which life he wanted more).

Eventually, he gave up and the dreams took over reality.

THEN (4 years ago)

When Dick woke up Jason was gone, gone and all he had left behind was a note. Bruce still winced to think of what had been written there. He only read the first half of the letter before Dick snatched it back in an uncharacteristic show of petty anger. How had Jason not come to them with his worries? It hurt Bruce more than he thought it would to realize exactly how much their fighting had damaged his and Jason's relationship over the last few months.

As he watched and worried, his eldest child paced furiously back and forth across the study. Dick's breath wheezed and whistled as his fists clenched and unclenched. He seemed to be waiting for Bruce to speak.

Bruce sighed deeply. He forced his emotions about Jason being missing to the back of his mind. It wasn't something he wanted to do; he would never wish to put his crusade before his family. But, it was necessary to save lives. The Joker was plotting something and Bruce was determined to stop him before those plans came to fruition.

"Dick, you need to understand," he started to try and explain his thoughts, to promise that as soon as the Joker was apprehended he would devote absolutely everything he had to finding Jason and bringing him home.

No Bruce, Dick's motions were sharp and small. He was furious. You need to understand. Jason just discovered something huge-

"What?" Bruce snapped. He was growing impatient with the secrets Jason had been keeping recently. The boy needed to learn to share intel.

Dick's upper lip curled into a faint snarl, You'd know if you even actually talked to him. Instead of constantly criticizing and lecturing.

Bruce glared at him, "What happens between Jason and I is our business, you-"

No, Dick stopped him, What affects my little brother is my business. You know that.

Bruce did know that. Dick had always been unnaturally perceptive of Jason's physical state and had worked hard to understand his emotional one as well. He could clearly remember the incident just after Jason joined them and was having trouble fitting in at school; Dick and Barbara had made the bullies regret ever even thinking about messing with the new addition to the Wayne household.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he snapped, "Jason is acting out and needs to get it under control before he gets himself killed."

I won't let that happen.

Bruce sighed, "I know you'll do your best but we can't predict or prevent everything."

Dick sighed and then coughed when the breath caught in his chest. Bruce eyed him with concern. "You should be lying down," he muttered, "not worrying about an unruly teen."

It's my job to worry about them. Dick smiled at Bruce for the first time since he entered the room. I know that you need to stop the Joker. No one is arguing against that. But, I need to find Jason and it would do him a lot of good if you're there when I do.

Bruce rubbed his forehead roughly, "I can't. Stopping Joker is more important that dealing with a teenage tantrum."

Fine, Dick snarled, I'll find him on my own. He turned to leave the room.

"No, you won't," Dick stopped and twisted to face him, "You're very sick and shouldn't even be up, much less chasing Jason. I forbid it."

Dick almost laughed. Did Bruce really think he could stop Dick if he set his mind to something? But, one look at Bruce's face told him that the man was serious.

Bruce's eyes caught his own, "Promise me."

Dick didn't move for a long moment. Finally, he turned on his heel and stalked from the room.

"I gruntle," he tossed over his shoulder knowing that Bruce would understand what he was saying. He also knew that Bruce would understand that it was a lie. He might be sick (and feel like complete shit if he was being honest with himself) but nothing would stop him from getting his brother back.

Bruce left the Manor later that day. One of his contacts in Europe had called with a tip that Joker had just landed in Germany. Dick spent the time while he was preparing to leave acting the part of a sick person laid up to recover. He curled up on the most comfortable couch in the Manor with the worn quilt he had taken from his tiny room in the Court and a cup of soup brought by Alfred (and therefore almost ridiculously delicious, even for his suddenly sensitive stomach).

Tim and Cass joined him not long after he finished the soup. Tim settled into the plush armchair next to the couch with his algebra homework and a frown. Cassandra stood next to the couch for a long moment before leaning down and shoving him to the side.

Hey, Dick protested, You'll get sick. Tim translated quietly for him since Cass was still trying to learn the various signed languages that Dick used regularly.

She rolled her eyes and the look on her face clearly expressed, even to Dick's fever muddled mind, that she would not tolerate argument. He sighed and moved so she could get comfortable under the blanket. They sat in silence, listening to Tim's pen glide across the paper and Alfred puttering about the kitchen preparing an early afternoon tea.

Then, Dick blinked and the sun was slanting through the windows at a much steeper angle than it had been before. He was suddenly freezing. Cass still sat under the blanket next to him, though she was now sketching away with a look of deep concentration on her face. Tim had disappeared but Dick suspected that he was somewhere close by.

Unable to resist the temptation Dick shifted to press more of his freezing body against Cass. She did not react and Dick drifted back off to sleep slightly warmer than he had been before.

The next time he woke up Cass was gone. Alfred was there, pressing a device to his forehead and tsk-ing lightly.

"103.6. Take this," he ordered softly and Dick realized that he had a pounding headache. He accepted the medicine with only the barest sniff. Years ago, when he had been newly arrived in the Manor he had refused all medicines, terrified that it was all a lie and they were only just waiting to drug him and make him kill for them. Now, while he still hated the taste, he trusted that they would not give him anything that wasn't in his best interests.

Need to make a phone call, he signed after handing back the cup. Alfred handed him a tablet. He pulled up the video-chat and clicked on Barbara's image.

Hey Babs, he greeted when she answered, Need a favor.

"Hi, wow you look like complete shit," she whistled.

He glared, Thanks. I need you and the Birds to watch Gotham. Bruce is out of town and I'm- He trailed off and gestured to himself. Technically he wanted them to watch over the city because he planned on hunting Jason down, but he wasn't willing to share that quite yet.

She smiled, "Of course, you get some rest."

Call us if you need help?

Her eyes told him she wouldn't but she nodded anyway.

Maybe I'll send Tim over to you for some training? He's been working on acrobatic offenses and it would be good to spar with someone besides me.

"Both of them are welcome to come," She assured him. "Helena has been asking to meet Cass and you know she and Dinah adore Tim."

Dick nodded, Thanks, beautiful.

Her smile turned tender, "Get better soon, Dick. You and Kory better still be coming next weekend."

She and the Titans are off planet, Dick informed her, But, if they're back by then we will be. I'll be there no matter what. I wouldn't miss your birthday for anything.

"You better not."

They said goodbye and hung up. Alfred took the tablet back. He handed Dick a tall glass of what looked like Gatorade.

"Drink and try to get some more sleep," he ordered. "I'll be in to check on that fever once the medicine has had some time to work."

Dick nodded and drank. Once it was gone he set the glass on the floor and shifted to lay back down. He would sleep until nightfall and then leave. Surely Jason couldn't have gone too far in that time….