Sarah501B - You are such a sweetheart! Your comment meant a lot!
"Hi Olivia," Dr. Kelsey said walking into her hospital room the next day, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay," Olivia sighed.
Dr. Kelsey sat down in her usual place and opened her notepad to a fresh page. "I see you haven't ate your breakfast," she said referring to the full platter of food sitting next to her bed.
"Elliot's bringing back donuts," Olivia answered. Dr. Kelsey was sure she saw Olivia smile so she wrote it down.
"Are you ready to get some talking done?"
Olivia just shrugged as she looked around the room for something to occupy her time. "You know everything."
"How did you feel when you had that first panic attack?" Dr. Kelsey asked.
Olivia stopped looking around when she found a tiny bug crawling around on the floor. She focused on that and then answered, "Scared. I felt scared."
"Why were you scared?"
"I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to get my life back after that," Olivia answered honestly. Her voice was a little shaky and Dr. Kelsey told her it was okay to cry.
"I don't want to cry," Olivia said, "I'm so tired of being weak. It's not me. It's not who I am."
"Who are you Olivia?"
"I'm Detective Olivia Benson. I'm a strong, independent, hardworking detective," she said smiling, "I'm a fighter."
"You are," Dr. Kelsey smiled, "I talked to your nurse this morning and she thinks it's okay if you go back home. She thinks you're ready."
"I am ready," Olivia said, "I have Elliot to help me and my mother." She couldn't believe the words that she was saying. Her mother was one of the reasons why her life would come back together. She never thought she would see the day.
"I brought one of every kind," Elliot said entering the room with a large box of Krispy Kreme donuts.
"I get to go home," Olivia said to Elliot, "Isn't that great?"
Elliot just nodded and handed Olivia a glazed donut. He wasn't sure how he felt about the news. Last time she got to go home things didn't really end up in favor. He thought she needed a little more time.
"Dr. Kelsey," Elliot said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Dr. Kelsey nodded and followed Elliot into the hallway just outside the room.
"Do you really think she's ready? Last time you said that she-"
"Elliot," Dr. Kelsey said interrupting him, "Olivia has gone through hell. You can' predict what's going to happen. All you can do is help her and if she seems that she is getting better, who are we to make her stay here? She's still going to have nightmares," Dr. Kelsey informed, "But they will go away when she learns that they can't hurt her anymore. She might have a few panic attacks here and there but, she will get better. It's a long process."
Elliot sighed and wiped his face with his hand, "I just want what's best for her."
"I know," Dr. Kelsey smiled, "What's best for her is that she go home."
Elliot nodded, "Thanks."
"I'm just doing my job."
Dr. Kelsey took off down the hall with her heels making a clanking sound on the tile floor and Elliot went back to be with Olivia.
"You don't think I'm ready," Olivia said sadly.
"It's not that," Elliot said sitting down next to her on the bed, "I just want what's best for you. I want you to get better and be happy."
"I am happy," Olivia said, "I have you. For once in my life, I have my mother too."
Elliot's smile grew as he listened to Olivia continue explaining the ways she was happy. She went on about how she was one of New York's Finest and that she had saved countless victims, so now it was her turn to save herself. She explained how she was going to win because she wasn't going to give up until that happened. When she finished talking she looked to Elliot who had tears pooling in his eyes.
"Why are you crying?"
"Because," he said with a shaky voice, "Because I love you."
"I love you too."
"I really love you," he said standing up. "Olivia, when we first became partners I knew that you were a strong woman. Hell, anyone who works with Special Victims is strong. You showed me that everyday. Everything that has happened to you, you have dealt with. You continue to prove to me and everyone around you how strong you really are. Olivia Benson," he said reaching into his jacket pocket, "Will you marry me?"