Fic: Of Tea & Chess

Rating: R

Summary: Alice & Hatter travel back to Wonderland for innocent reasons and discover that there is no such thing as coincidence.

Author's Note: I am no longer under threat of death for the return of Hatter from my one friend. PHEW. After the week I've had at work, I'll be likely writin away this weekend to destress. :-)

Chapter 25: A Guiding Hand

Alice had learned, years ago, to try to avoid assuming anything about anyone. Her mother had drilled it into her and her years spent earning her black belt had taught her not to underestimate people of any age or size. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if she was losing it. This woman was not as she expected.

The White Queen should have been a withered, powerless woman. Infirm and senile maybe, something to pity. A rambling old woman bleating about losing her shawl and pricking her finger if Alice remembered her stories properly. Yet she sat before Alice on the edge of the large canopied bed, the epitome of what nobility should look like, seeming to have been dressed by a legion of servants. Her clothing had the look of the haute couture of Wonderland mixed with the elegant lace and chiffon of a Victorian era gown. Her dress was incredibly thin even with the icy air that blew in from the broken windows but there was not a hair out of place or a smudge to her makeup. It was like looking at a doll.

It was only when Alice moved closer to the strange woman that she noticed that there were tiny things just a little off about her. The first thing she noticed was that her kid sandals were a few sizes too small, her toes peeking over the edges of them. There were tiny tears in her gown, the lace frayed at its edges, and there were deep crow's feet at the edges of her heavily lined eyes. They were just tiny things that distorted the illusion the White Queen was trying to bring across of perfection and icy beauty. It did nothing to ease Alice's discomfort though.

"So. You are the new Alice?" the Queen asked as she put her hands in her lap and her eyes raked over Alice. It was a smug look that held no real interest. The girl nodded, suddenly self-conscious of her ragged skirt, travel-stained coat and her well-worn boots. The Queen arched a brow at her, seeing her discomfort and tapping her fingers impatiently against her lap. "Well? Please tell me that you are at least schooled enough to remember decent etiquette."

"Alice Hamilton," Alice said with a forced smile. "Just Alice more often than not."

"Interesting. I would have expected the next Alice to be...different," the Queen said, standing and shaking out her skirts. "Taller, a shade thinner perhaps. Maybe another blonde."

"Not to be rude but I have to find my friends. We thought this place was empty," Alice explained, turning to go to the door.

"Oh, they'll be fine. You don't have to worry about them," the Queen said, her gentle voice almost hypnotic. Alice turned back around and the Queen smiled again, coming to her side and looping her arm through Alice's. "Come take a walk with me. It won't take long. Indulge an old, lonely woman. I'm sure you would like to know something of this place, wouldn't you?"

For some reason, Alice couldn't say no, couldn't think of why she should until she noticed the checkerboard painted on the door they were headed towards. She thought of the checkerboard graffiti she had seen painted in the City.

"But my friends," Alice protested and the Queen gave her a motherly smile.

"I'll have my servants get them some hot drinks. They will like that and then you can let me know why you came to my home. You have a long way back to the City, don't you?" she asked as they went through the door into a twisted hallway. Alice followed her, suddenly reassured by the powerful presence of the Queen. The woman was leading her about, her arm a comforting hold, moving down the corridor painted black and white with dark hardwood floors, travelling at a sedate pace. "The wind is quite terrible, don't you think?"

Alice looked at the taller woman, the slow pace actually calming her. "I thought this place was empty."

"Oh no. The Wars tore apart my reign and my lovely home, but it is still my home, you know. Somewhat lacking on the niceties I once enjoyed; bread and butter mostly," the Queen said, adjusting her white shawl over her shoulders. The shawl was ragged and unpinned, making her fidget with it constantly. The Queen turned suddenly, drawing Alice down another long hall painted in dark browns and greens. The only sound was their shoes on the marble tile, the Queen's gait marred by a slight limp caused by her tight sandals. "The product of living backwards is that sometimes you get stuck in the entire present, unable to make a future for yourself without any help."

She pulled her shawl tighter over her bare shoulders, the thick wool covering her skin yet blending into the paleness of it. Giving a frustrated sigh, she jerked it hard and tucked it into the shoulder of her dress.

"It's just that Hatter and Jack told me..." Alice began and the woman arched a pale brow, turning her head to meet Alice's blue eyes with startling, pale grey ones.

"Hatter and Jack?" she asked curiously.

"My...friends," Alice said as they passed a large bay window. "I came with my friends."

The Queen stopped and sat on the window ledge, patting the space beside herself. She adjusted her shawl once more as Alice sat beside her. The girl felt a sudden relief as she sat, her sore legs and feet thanking her for doing it. The bay window's cushions were old but they were quite comfortable and she rotated her ankles to rid them of the tension. Not for the first time, Alice wished that she had known she would need a good pair for running shoes. It would be better than running around Wonderland in heeled boots. The Queen was busy adjusting her skirts and Alice gave her a quick look now that she was much closer. The woman seemed to be in her forties, permanently frozen at that age, her hair silver and blonde. It was hard to tell which colour her hair actually was. Her skin was flawlessly ivory even beneath the makeup she wore but Alice noticed how the dim light made patches of her skin seem more grey than white. The patches travelled down her exposed arm and while they were indistinct, they trailed the length of it. Alice turned her eyes from them just as the Queen looked back around.

"Your friends, dear?" she prodded and Alice nodded.

"We came here to find something for Jack."

"Jack Heart?" the Queen asked dryly and Alice gave her a surprised look. "He is the only one, my dear, that I can see coming this far for 'something'."

"I guess," Alice answered, puzzled. For some reason, her mouth lost its control and she smiled. "I don't really know my way around."

"I don't blame you. Everyone starts off lost here. However, the crime comes last though the punishment is first," the Queen explained without explaining anything at all. "I've been here for years, all alone. So I welcome company, even lost company. "

"Then you don't know of the Red King Archibades?" Alice asked her and the woman stiffened.

"Set free was he?" At Alice's nod, she shrugged. "We got along well enough. I never cared for the Reds. Powerful...or so he thought. Then the Queen of Hearts took over. Now her...I never liked her."

"I can't blame you," Alice said with a smile. The Queen nodded and turned in her seat to look out the window.

"The Taiga...has it changed? It was a deliciously wild place, you know. A very amusing place for someone clever enough to beat the game." The Queen suddenly gained a vacant look in her eyes. "Though you had to play by yourself properly in the old days."

"Properly?" Alice asked. She looked out the window and saw the forest now coated in ice and frost.

"Properly. For example, the right moves."

"Chesh explained that," Alice interrupted. The Queen gave her a look and she blushed. "Our guide. He told us about how we represented chess pieces."

"Quite. It's only if you play by yourself that you become a Queen though. So it is my regret to inform you that you are no Queen," the woman said. Her condescending tone made Alice blink and look at her but the Queen still wore the matronly smile. "It is the rules, Alice. You have to follow the rules until you are crowned. Then all possibilities open to you. This Chesh...a Cheshire?"

Alice nodded. "I set him free. He brought us here."

"Did he now..." The Queen thought this over before she leaned back against the wall. "You trusted a Cheshire? Even I never did that."

"He helped us, all the way here. He's been a good friend to have," Alice answered. "The others didn't trust him."

"Oh?" The Queen plucked at her skirts. "Well, perhaps he has done right by you. It would be a first as he is very loyal to whoever unlocks him first you know. It is in his breeding, to be caught and unlocked time and time again. To help yet deceive, to reassure yet grieve, and to barter."

Alice found her head hurting as she tried to think over the words, suddenly feeling warm now with the Queen's close proximity. Despite her icy appearance, the woman was remarkably like a heater and Alice removed her coat slowly, gingerly pulling her sling through. The Queen stared at her, eyes taking in the sling before she reached out and plucking at the green paisley silk shirt Alice wore beneath. Her fingers ran over the collar before she arched a brow at the girl and sat back.

"A man's shirt, my dear? Somewhat strange and not in good breeding to be wearing such mannish attire you know," she scolded. Alice felt like it was her mother lecturing her and gave the older woman an affronted look.

"It's none of your business!" she snapped, trying to close her collar with her good hand. Hatter's faint cologne drifted from the shirt still and she shut her eyes against it. The Queen simply looked at the arm in the sling.

"I see."

Alice took a steadying breath. "I thought that the Queen of Hearts killed all of the Royals."

"Well, she certainly tried. I was widowed by that time, with only my daughter for company...and she was murdered. An innocent child who did nothing to anyone!" the Queen snapped bitterly. Alice put her hand into her lap, feeling the sharp stab of pity for the woman. The Queen sighed, her mood changing instantly. "But then, many of the Royals and any families associated were...taken care of. Especially when the Royal Sceptre was taken back from the Queen of Hearts. She was left without the full power of it and began to destroy all wisdom there was."

"That's what Hatter said." Alice found her mind running back to when Hatter and she had been in the Great Library, staring at great stacks of books and the refugees.

"A Hatter? Which one?" the Queen said, her tone changing slightly. The melancholy lifted to suspicion and there was a hardness there that Alice had not heard before.

"Well...in my world he called himself David Hatter," Alice said, confused, "but here I always just heard him referred to as Hatter."

"I knew two Hatters. Neither was sane in the end and both committed terrible crimes." The Queen sighed. "But they had their heroic moments you know."

"I know...and he does," Alice whispered, suddenly lost in her own memory of her Hatter. She could still feel his hard grip on her arm but more vivid was the memory of his hand brushing the back of her neck or holding hers to keep her steady on a high ledge. The White Queen watched as the girl remembered, seeing the soft look and the faint glow in her eyes. It was most interesting after waiting such a long time to see an Oyster. The girl struggled to hide her emotions but wore them plainly on her face.

"And you love him?" she wheedled and Alice jumped.

"What? That's just..." Alice was trying to find a good argument, not liking how easily this woman read her.

"Come now, dear," the White Queen said. She draped an arm across Alice's shoulders. "It's just us girls."

For some reason, Alice's memory slipped back to the book she had found on the chaise. "I love my love with an H...because he is heroic, because he is heartfelt in feeling, because he is hopeful, because he is handsome."

She felt tears in her eyes, still lost in the recital of the book's description of Alice's conversation with the White King.

"I hate my love with an H because he is hopeless. Because he can hurt me like no other man ever has."

There was a long pause, Alice feeling her heart burn. It was hard for her to speak of love, of longing, because for so long she had kept it at a distance. The Queen, still watching her, smiled.

"More loves than hates. A good sign, you know." She sighed. "A young woman once went through these woods and spoke of a love for a Messenger but then fell for the other Messenger. It broke both of their hearts when she abandoned them both much later. Even then, they still hoped and that hope is terrible."

"I love him," Alice whispered. It felt better to say the words aloud, to repeat them to make sure that she had not simply been sucked into Wonderland's habits of rhyming and confusing. The words made her head and her heart feel lighter, as if hiding the words had weighed her down and now that she had said them they set her free.

"A strange thing: love. It is painful, isn't it? Almost as painful as loss. Like losing that love." The woman touched Alice's arm, running it over the swollen limb. There was a faint glow from her fingers and the pain ebbed slowly, Alice finding her arm no longer stiff and sore. She straightened her arm out of the sling and the Queen smiled. "You have a such a strong Oyster glow, my dear."

"I've been told that," Alice admitted and the Queen ran her fingers up Alice's arm to cup her neck.

"Your mark...I've never seen the like...so intricate. Oysters are rare here, you know. The Taiga dislikes their glow and one learns to hide it quickly. Of course, the longer you stay in Wonderland, the more it fades," she explained. She put her hand in her lap again. "Yet you are without hope. How sad. It dulls your glow."

"It's a bit hard to be hopeful when you are being chased down by weird knights and an evil king just so you can find a Royal Sceptre," Alice answered unguardedly. The White Queen smiled.

"So that is why you are here. It was stolen years ago and even if it was in my house, I would be unable to find it. He was very, very clever and he knew it would anger me." She stood and stalked about the room, suddenly agitated. "A betrayal by an old friend and he was executed for it. You can imagine how I felt." The White Queen looked at Alice's arm. "I know you can."

"I..." Alice cradled her arm to her chest self-consciously. "I guess I can. But I trust him." The conversation turned to Hatter so easily that she barely knew what she said. "We're trying to stop a war."

"So I imagined. That's what I always heard, you know. Over and over again." The White Queen shivered hard. "I was even told that when my daughter was killed."

"Did you find who..."

"Oh yes. And he is long suffering for it now." She seemed to lose the change in her personality, all at once motherly as she back to Alice and sat beside her. "You don't want to be here, do you?"

Alice opened her mouth to protest but shut it, thinking about her sudden frustrations with Wonderland. "It's not as if I am from here."

The White Queen nodded. "That is one of the many problems with Wonderland. It brings in those who do not belong, makes them deal with problems far out of their grasp. I would almost think that Wonderland is like an interfering teacher sometimes. So eager."

Her grey eyes met Alice's. "Why did you come back?"

"I came back with Hatter," Alice began but the woman snorted.

"There is no such thing as coincidence. You felt a pull to come back here, didn't you?" she asked and Alice looked at her hands. She thought back to her odd delight in Hatter asking her to come back as a 'vacation', of her reluctance to leave when they had had their awkward good-bye at the Looking Glass station weeks ago.

"I don't think you could call it a pull," Alice answered.

"That is what Alice the First said...and and she was driven to work hard to come here, trying so hard to make Wonderland fit what she knew it should be. Wonderland adapts very well...it is just a matter of finding the way to do it." The Queen gestured about them, pointing to a portrait mirror across from them that Alice hadn't noticed before. "That is the problem when you are brought into things you have no depth for. You find yourself losing far more than you gain. It was unfair for Wonderland to bring you back."

"I came to help my friends," Alice said, watching as the Queen stood and began to fiddle with her shawl again.

"And they've destroyed your life. You know that." The Queen's voice was firm, like a mother giving her daughter a bitter pill to swallow. "Had you not come to Wonderland, you would not have lost the hope of finding your father. You would not have fallen for a man that can hurt you so badly and play with insanity. Nor would you have lost what hope you had for a quiet future."

Alice opened her mouth to argue, the words playing on her own doubts. In her first trip to Wonderland, she had longed to return home almost all the time. Now she was back in Wonderland and having to fight for a world that was not even her own. She had lost the man she loved to madness, had to cope with the strange despair now gnawing at her insides.

The White Queen sighed and stepped close, drawing the stiff girl into her arms and embracing her gently.

"Your friends are quite safe, my dear. Perhaps I should send you home. I do have the power to let this not worry you any further, if you wish." The White Queen took her arms from Alice and stepped back. Her voice was low again, a soft lull in the silence that comforted Alice.

"I shouldn't leave them." Alice's voice took on a childish tone as the Queen stroked her hair. She didn't register the strange feeling of heat against her gryphon marking. Her blue eyes were wide and unseeing, fingers twisting nervously together. She began to shake under the thin layer of the green shirt. Her mind raced to the others, starting to believe that they were safe. Jack had the Sceptre, the Ring...there was something about the ring....

"You have spent days caring for worries that should never be your own, Alice Hamilton. Let me give you a gift so that you can find some peace for a time. You can sleep for a few hours and get this exhaustion away," the Queen whispered as she led the girl over to the mirror. Alice felt a small pinch on her arm and it almost pulled her from her tired state before it came back even worse.. "Do you see how tired you look? Alice's eyes ached for a moment, suddenly seeing their twin reflections. The stark difference nearly woke her from her groggy state. She was so petite next to the tall woman behind her, her hair so lank and dull brown compared to the silvery blonde of the other woman, her eyes and skin washed out. She was nothing compared to a Queen, Alice thought. She certainly needed to rest.

The door behind them suddenly opened and Alice turned on her heel with a snap, staring at Chesh. His cat-green eyes were wide but his grin was the same as ever. He did not seem to see the White Queen at all.

"The others sent me to find you, Alice," he explained. "Jack knew I would be able to find you if you were to get lost."

"Right...it's time to go," Alice said, her voice still exhausted. Chesh came beside her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's all right. The Knave got a fire going in that study. Jack said we'll be taking a small rest before you all set off once more," he said and Alice gave him a look.

"You...you don't see her? Not at all?" Alice asked, gesturing to the White Queen beside her. Chesh scratched at the back of his neck, giving her a perplexed look from his strange eyes.

"See who, Alice? There's no one there."

Alice looked back at the White Queen, who gave her a kind smile and a dramatic roll of her eyes. "I suppose. I just wanted to have a look around, that was all."

"There is thousands of years of history in this place, I wouldn't blame you. It just hasn't been allowed to shine as best as it could recently. Just needs some...light," Chesh explained, looking around the room.

"I just can't explain it, Chesh. All of a sudden I just felt as if I was exhausted, you know?" Alice said and he patted her shoulder, not noticing the arm that should have been in a sling.

"I can guess. If you want, you can take your rest here. Be comfier than that awkward chaise eh?" he offered. "I'll be right outside. Take ten minutes then we can be on our way."

Alice's mind, already foggy, tried to convince her why she should insist he come to the parlour with her. "But it's..."

"Come on, Alice. I think by now you know that you can trust me," Chesh said with his wide grin nearly splitting his face. Alice gave him an uncertain smile.

"Just ten minutes, okay?"

" 'Course. No offence, but you are lookin' a bit rough," he said when she turned around to look at the mirror. Beside her, the still unseen Queen was looking at the clock on the wall that was permanently frozen on the wall. Chesh put his hand on Alice's shoulder in a friendly way, his fingers just grazing the mark on her neck. As if responding, the mark and her skin began to glow a bit, losing its tired wash. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Alice rocked on her feet at the feeling of the glow, not feeling his fingers when he slyly undid the clasp to her necklace. When she turned away from him the necklace felt easily into his hand. The White Queen looked around sharply at the sound and behind Alice's back he looked innocently at her, his hands now empty. The White Queen raked her eyes over him and jerked her chin to the door before Alice looked at her. When the door clicked shut behind Chesh, Alice looked up at the patiently smiling Queen.

"He...couldn't see you?" she asked and the Queen shrugged.

"I'm still a memory, my dear. I may be flesh and blood to you but to some I will remain just a shade," the Queen said easily. She looked over the smaller woman and tipped her head to the side. Her eyes went slowly over Alice's marking. "Hmm."

"I need..." Alice suddenly swayed hard enough that the Queen reached out to steady her. Her arm was surprisingly strong around Alice's shoulder and she turned them to the mirror.

"To rest."

"But..."

"In place where you can have no worries," the Queen whispered in her ear and Alice stared into the mirror as it slowly began to fog. The Queen pressed her hand to Alice's neck and there was a sudden shock of pain. It felt like a hot iron had passed over her skin and she winced, unable to cry out because the pain was gone as soon as she realized that it hurt. In the mirror, the Queen gave her a smile and Alice saw her now flawless pale neck beneath the gentle grip of the Queen's hand.

She drifted then, her mind hazy as their reflections faded from her vision into the fog. The fog faded into the bedroom she had found earlier, still pristine and white but now cozy with a fire roaring in the fireplace. Blinking, she suddenly felt the languid warmth in her body and sighed in exhausted happiness. What tension was in her body was fading and she looked behind herself to thank the White Queen. The White Queen was gone and Alice turned the other way.

Set beside the bed was a low table and chairs, an older man bent over what looked like a chess board, setting up the pieces with care. Staring at him, Alice stepped closer, still wishing to sleep but not if there was a strange man in her room. He looked up and she sucked in a breath as she recognized his happy smile and weathered face. Her thrill at seeing him plunged her headlong into the fantasy.

"Come on, jellybean. There's still time for a good game," Robert Hamilton declared happily as he gestured to the chair before him.

Author's Side Note: (A bit late I know!so sorry, I was on my way to work!)

Alice's speech of "I love my love with an H" is replicated from Alice in Through the Looking Glass. The Alice in the book meets the White King and when he mentions his messenger Haigha, she speaks a similar speech. Hers though is more to rhyme and find words than in the case of Alice Hamilton discovering she is deeply in love with OUR favourite Hatter.