Jonghyun woke up to find the other side of the bed completely empty. He frowned. There were few things he loved more in the world than waking up to Key's sleeping face, and the fact that he had already left put him in a bad mood.

But another thing left him feeling more worried than upset. Another thing that made his stomach clench up with nervousness.

What Onew had asked them about… what Key had agreed to the night before…

Were they really going to…?

Jonghyun swallowed hard and tossed and turned in his bed. He wasn't quite sure how to approach this. In all honesty, he wasn't quite sure how to boys did… that. Well he had an idea, of course. But how to initiate it, how to make it feel good… well, that he didn't really know. He slipped out of bed, scared that somehow Key would hear him moving from downstairs. He pulled his laptop hesitantly out from his bag and opened it, hovering his hands over the keyboard.

It's just a bit of research. No big deal.

After much hesitation and shame he found himself on a couple of online forums discussing his very problem. His eyes searched the pages thoroughly, gathering as much information as possible to educate himself on this unknown topic. He was… learning quite a lot, to say the least.

It wouldn't hurt to watch a… video demonstration, would it?

He swallowed thickly, his fingers shaking as he searched for the appropriate website for his… needs. After checking and rechecking probably ten times that his volume was, in fact, completely off, he picked a random video and waited for it to load.

Oh.

Oh my…

His jaw dropped as it started, his body temperature jumping to a sweltering degree. He covered his face with his hands, looking through the cracks of his fingers. It was… interesting, to say the least. He slowly returned his hands to his side, taking his time and watching the video full on. He was watching this to educate himself, that was all.

He continued to stare at the video in awe, telling himself over and over again that this was for education purposes, the uncomfortable tightening in his pants just an unfortunate byproduct of his supposed lesson. His face flushed as he imagined he and Key in a similar position, the very idea making him shake with nerves.

He thought of Key's skin completely exposed, mouth hanging open as Jonghyun moved inside of him, bodies wet with sweat and clawing at each other for more. He squinted his eyes shut, trying, and failing, multiple times to get the rather graphic images out of his head. He could see himself sliding his tongue against Key's skin and sucking at his collarbones, and area Jonghyun knew made Key moan with pleasure. He could almost hear Key screaming his name as he grabbed onto his thighs and dug his fingernails into his skin, the feeling of being inside Key making his eyes see spots and his mind go numb…

Jonghyun shrieked and slammed his computer shut as he heard the door open, his graphic daydream cut short as the real, more clothed Key poked his head into the room. In his daze he somehow didn't hear him coming up the stairs. Key raised an eyebrow at his rather odd reaction.

"Um. I just wanted to tell you breakfast was ready." He said. Jonghyun stared at his hands, now realizing that they were for some reason dangling loosely in the air. He put them behind his head, then moved them to his pockets, then finally settled them on his lap awkwardly.

"Uh, yeah, okay!" He said, his voice sounding completely unnatural despite his best attempts to remain calm. He cleared his throat several times before speaking again. "I'll… uh… be right down." Key gave him one last exasperated look before returning downstairs. Jonghyun breathed a sigh of relief once Key was out of earshot.

That was…

Not ideal.

He shoved his computer back into his bag and banished the thoughts of Key from his head. He knew it would be impossible to eat breakfast with Key sitting across the table if the only thing he could imagine was him completely naked.

Even though he had read a lot and watched a little, he still felt himself totally lost. Maybe he could ask someone who had first-hand experience.

…Minho?

He shook his head rapidly, trying to remove the idea from his brain. There was no way, no way in hell, he was going to ask Minho for sex advice. Never in a million years.

He sighed, forgetting the idea entirely, and headed downstairs. It felt strange to be living in a completely different house. The tables were different, the chairs were different, the atmosphere was different. The only constant was Key, and that was good enough and then some.

While Jonghyun was still rather irked he wasn't able to wake up to Key's sleeping face in the morning, the image of Key finishing up his cooking in the kitchen almost made up for it. His hips moved side to side as he stirred the contents of his pan, his eyes focused as he served the food.

"Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?" He said, mouth curved into a permanent smile that was always apparent when Key was around. Key rolled his eyes, although his flushed face stood as proof that he was affected by Jonghyun's compliment.

"Shut up and eat." He grumbled, setting their plates on the table. Jonghyun laced his fingers around Key's stomach and pressed kisses to his smooth neck.

"I mean it." He muttered against his skin. "You're gorgeous."

"I'm not."

"You are." Jonghyun insisted, nibbling his ear gently. Key squirmed but let a playful laugh roll off of his tongue. Did he really not know just how beautiful he was? How could he not? "Next time sleep in. I like waking up next to you." He demanded.

"I had to cook. Or do you also like waking up hungry?" Jonghyun nuzzled his nose further into Key's neck.

"I'm willing to make sacrifices." He whispered.

"Okay. Well make one now and let go of me." Key pulled Jonghyun's arms away from his stomach and sat down at the table, leaving a pouting Jonghyun standing in front of him. "Stop making that face and sit down." Key demanded.

Jonghyun sat, realizing that there really was no way to argue with Key. Sitting across from Key under these circumstances was a rather unusual experience. They both knew what they were thinking about, the glaringly obvious topic of discussion practically lying out in front of them. But neither felt like addressing the issue. Perhaps due to exhaustion, embarrassment, or maybe even fear, neither of them wanted to talk about the fact that they had just up and ran away from their home. They didn't want to discuss how long they would be staying here, what their plans for the future were, or anything that wasn't contained in this very moment. For the first time ever, they could simply enjoy each other's company without any complications.

And they were going to do just that.

"Key, how long has it been since you've seen your brother?" Jonghyun asked. Key puffed his cheeks out and played with his food.

"Two or three years…" He responded. Jonghyun eyes widened in shock. He didn't realize how young Key had been when he left. He knew that his brother had moved out due to problems with his father, but he wasn't quite sure about the details. Key smiled sheepishly. "It's been a while. I really did miss him, but I've always been a bit scared to visit."

"Why were you scared?" Jonghyun asked before he could stop himself. The subject of Key's past was a rather hidden one, and Key always seemed to be slightly uncomfortable when recounting it. He didn't want to pry too much, but his curiosity got the better of him in the end. Key inhaled deeply before speaking again.

"I… love my brother." He said, calmly and clearly. "But my only memories of him are when my father was still around. It's just… difficult for me to revisit that part of my life. That's all." Key chewed thoughtfully as he crossed his legs.

"So how do you feel now that you're here?" Jonghyun asked after swallowing some of Key's (as usual) delicious cooking. Jonghyun felt a wave of relief when he saw Key's face settle into a gentle smile.

"Like I should have come ages ago." Key said with a lighthearted laugh. Key proceeded to entertain Jonghyun with stories from his childhood, explaining in detail just what made his brother great. With wide eyes he recounted the numerous nights he had stayed up late reading to him when he was young, and how he used to fall asleep to the sound of his voice and wake up in his arms the morning after. He told Jonghyun through much laughter about the time his brother had tripped down the stairs and somehow managed to break his arm in the process. And, through slightly gritted teeth, he admitted the nights when he had protected him from his father, stepping in and shielding Key when his rampages turned violent.

Jonghyun listened in amazement. It was hard to believe that this heroic, brotherly, protective figure was the same friendly, admittedly slightly goofy guy he had met the night before. But mostly he found himself completely happy that Key was opening up to him like this. The amount of trust Key had for him warmed his heart to the very core.

"So your brother's that great, huh?" Jonghyun said. He clicked his tongue as Key nodded. "Sounds like I fell in love with the wrong guy…" He said. Key smacked the side of his head from across the table.

"I hate you."

"Oh come on, I was kidding!"

Jonghyun forced a few half-hearted apologies in between laughs, face cringing just slightly from Key's death glare. He shoved his face in his plate to avoid Key's rather penetrating eyes.

"Jjongie, I have a question. But you can't get mad at me." Key said after a long pause. Jonghyun froze and looked up from his plate.

"Uh, sure. Go ahead." He said. What could Key possibly have to ask him that could anger him in some way?

He sighed and collected himself before speaking, picking at his fingernails rather than looking Jonghyun directly in the face. "Um. Well…"

"Spit it out, Key." Jonghyun said, growing more nervous by the second. Key was usually pretty direct about what he had to say, whether it be criticisms or praise. (Though it was usually the former.) If he had trouble asking this, then how bad could it be?

"Fine." Key said. "Are… are you gay?" He forced out after much hesitation.

Jonghyun tilted his head to one side and stared at Key blankly. "Am I what?" He asked.

"You heard me." Key said with a huff, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Do you like men?"

…Huh.

Jonghyun pushed the remaining food around the plate, completely at a loss for words.

"Do I like men…" He repeated in a whisper, speaking more to himself than to Key. He hadn't thought about this at all. Sure he had had girlfriends in the past, but had he really been attracted to them? It was too long ago for him to remember. But at the same time, he couldn't once remember ever being attracted to a guy, either. "…I like you!" He said after a long period of thought.

"…That isn't what I asked. I know that already." Key said, exasperation heavy in his voice.

"Well I'm not really sure what else to tell you." Jonghyun admitted. He continued to play with his food, unable to look at Key directly. Truth be told, he had no idea how to answer Key's question.

"I just… I get nervous sometimes." Key said. His settled his fingers on his elbows and clutched at them limply. "Sometimes I think maybe this is just a phase for you." He said slowly. "Sometimes I think maybe you'll just… grow out of me."

Jonghyun dropped his fork with a loud clatter, his body feeling slightly jarred by Key's words. "Key…" He whispered. He couldn't believe Key had been keeping this to himself for so long. Jonghyun thought he had made his feelings for Key as clear as possible. But apparently he hadn't been clear enough. "Is… is that what you really think?" Jonghyun felt his heart sink and nearly shatter when Key confirmed his worst fears with a hesitant nod.

Without another thought, he leapt up from his seat, standing in front of Key and pulling him out of his chair into a firm hug, not speaking until he felt Key relax into his arms. "Key, just because I'm not entirely sure about what I like, that doesn't mean I'm going to wake up one day and stop loving you." He whispered, lips just barely grazing the skin of Key's neck. "I'm not sure about a lot of things, Key. But one thing I do know full well is that I love you. And that isn't going to change." He felt Key's arms wrap around his back as he buried his nose further into his collarbone.

Jonghyun couldn't help but feel that Key seemed a little… hesitant. No matter what he did, it always felt like Key was holding back, as if he was trying to keep a slight distance between the two of them. Even now that they were living together, for the second time since they had met, Key still managed to set up a barrier, as if he was trying to shield himself from Jonghyun.

"Key?"

"Yeah?" Key mumbled into his shirt.

"Say it." Jonghyun said, rubbing circles on Key's back. Key shifted under his grip.

"Say what?" Key asked. Jonghyun scoffed.

"You know exactly what." Key sighed, his breath warming Jonghyun's chest.

"Come on, I don't have to." He whined. Jonghyun attacked his neck, trailing kisses up his jaw line.

"Say it." He breathed, clamping his arms down on a squirming Key.

"Jonghyun!" Key yelled between laughs, trying to remove himself from Jonghyun's grip. Jonghyun frowned as the phone rang, causing Key to worm himself out from his hands and reach for his phone.

"Hello? Oh, hey Onew… sure, yeah." Key opened several drawers until he found a pencil and paper, scrawling down what looked like a shopping list before hanging up. "That was my brother. He wants us to go shopping for him." He said, holding the list up between his fingers.

"Let me do it." Jonghyun said, grabbing the list from Key's hand.

"It's okay – "

"I insist." He said, tapping Key's nose with his index finger. Key rolled his eyes.

"Fine, if you want. I think I'll clean the house in the meantime. This place is a mess." He said. He gave Jonghyun directions to the store before Jonghyun skipped out into the cold air, making sure to put on a warm sweatshirt beforehand.

In all honesty, Jonghyun hated shopping. Every time he was forced to run errands for his mom or dad he sped through them as quickly as possible, usually forgetting a few important things in the process. But right now he had to buy something for himself, something he could not buy in front of Key, or in front of anyone for that matter.

The store was easy to find, seeing as it was pretty close the bus stop from the night before. The shopping list was relatively short, but Jonghyun took his time, dreading the one thing he had to buy after he had completed the list.

He swallowed thickly when he realized that every single item on the list had been crossed out. After several minutes of wandering and putting off the inevitable, he set off on a search for what he needed.

But what aisle would it be in? He spun around several times, trying to get an idea of where he could possibly look. He felt himself becoming more and more embarrassed with every passing second, his face feeling warm from even thinking about it. He pulled his hood over his head and tightened the drawstrings, the fact that he was in another town doing nothing to calm his fears about being seen by someone he knew.

"Do you need any help?"

Jonghyun screamed at the sound of the voice behind him. Ever since he met Key, screaming in public places had become sort of a habit. He turned around to face a middle-aged woman, obviously an employee at the store. "S-sorry, ma'am." He said, rubbing the back of his head. "I-I'm alright. Thank you." He said shyly.

"Well if you need anything, please let me know!" She said with a smile. He nodded as she turned away.

"Uh… wait." He said before she could walk away. He had two options here. Spend hours wandering around the massive grocery store until finding what he needed, or swallowing his pride, asking for help, and accepting all the shame that came with it.

"Yes?" She said, her voice patient and gentle.

"Do you have any… umm…" He bit his tongue and mumbled what he needed, praying he wouldn't have to repeat himself.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear you." She said, smiling politely. Jonghyun cleared his throat and stared directly at the floor, unable to look the kind woman in the eyes.

"…Lube…" He whispered, placing his head in his hand. The woman's face turned a shade of red he was sure he had never seen on a person before as she did her best to remain professional.

"U-um. Yes, of course. Right this way sir." She said with a slight stutter. Jonghyun covered his face with his hands and followed the woman at a slight distance. As embarrassing as it was, it was a necessary if he and Key were going to… try anything. He had learned that much from his little research session from the morning. She led him down an aisle, pointing out what he needed with a persistently embarrassed expression.

"Th-thank you…" He mumbled. She whispered a quiet "you're welcome" before taking off in the opposite direction. Now that he was here, however, he had no idea what he was even looking at. He picked a bottle that looked like it would work, although he truly didn't have a clue what constituted good or bad lube. Hanging his head in shame, he rushed through the checkout process, refusing to look at the cashier in the eye. He paid quickly and ran out of the store as fast as possible.

He breathed a sigh of relief when his feet were outside of the building, clutching onto his bag for dear life lest it fall out of his hands and spill its contents all over the ground.

He walked the short way home, repeating over and over in his head just how grateful he was that he had gotten it over with.

"How was shopping?" Key asked as he returned.

Jonghyun's stomach lurched as he felt a creeping suspicion that somehow Key knew what he had been up to. He swatted the feelings away, realizing that he was being completely irrational.

"It was fine." He said with a smile. "Totally fine."