A/N Thanks so much for all the reviews guys. We made it to two hundred! That's the most reviews I've ever gotten on one story and it's all thanks to you! I tried to respond to as many reviews as I could. If I didn't respond to you it's because I simply didn't have time. This week was a NIGHTMARE school wise. I have been going almost none stop all week and I basically stitched together the tiny shreds that were my free time in order to just write this chapter. I did read every review, though, and I loved them all! :)
Special shout out to rain who was a guest reviewer so I couldn't respond via PM. Thank you for reviewing old chapters as you read them, instead of just the current one. Not many people do that and I really appreciate it!
Requested by everfaraway: Follow up to chapter 23: side effect of Tony turning Clint into a hawk is Clint occasionally turns into a hawk minus however Tony did it.
Requested by kimbee: It'd be funny if Tony turned FBJ into a human. (I also used the rest of your suggestion because it was just too good to pass up but I don't want to give it away so I omitted it right here) :)
Requested by Pearlbunny: Just a thought here, FBJ getting turned human?
P.S. special agent Ali, I added in what you requested at the end. :)
Feathered or Not Feathered? That Is The Question
"You have to fix this!" Clint yelled as he stormed into Tony's lab.
Tony turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow as he took in the sight of Clint standing in the lab with absolutely nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
"The shower break or something?" Tony asked. "Cause if it did, I don't have time to fix it right now. You'll just have to take a bird bath."
"No, the shower didn't break!" Clint said scathingly. "I'm just having a bit of trouble keeping my clothes on thanks to you!"
Tony didn't even want to think about how wrong that sounded.
"That came out wrong," Clint said after a moment.
"Yes. Yes it did," Tony agreed.
"What I meant was-" Clint began but before he could finish his sentence, Tony was shown what he meant. Suddenly, right where a five foot ten inch tall archer had been a two foot tall red-tailed hawk was in his place.
"Uh, oh," Tony said. "Am I to assume that this is the problem you wanted me to fix?"
Clint gave a bob of his head which could pass for a nod.
"So you've been spontaneously changing into a hawk at random moments before, I assume, changing back again?"
Clint nodded again.
"Okay, so when did it first happen?"
Clint began chirping and screeching.
"So, it first happened last night but you thought you had imagined it or dreamed it. Then it happened earlier this morning and once you changed back you were going to come tell me but just as you finally got your clothes back on, you changed again. That's when you decided to abandon the clothes and just grab a towel. And on the way to the lab you changed one more time," Tony translated.
Clint gave another nod.
"All right, lets see if we can figure out what the problem is."
Tony walked over to his computer and began to type. After a few minutes he found what he was looking for.
"Ah, I see the problem," he said.
"What is it?" a voice right behind Tony said causing the billionaire to start violently and jerk around.
Clint, towel back in place, was standing right behind him.
"Don't do that!" Tony cried placing a hand over his racing heart.
"Sorry," Clint said with no real remorse in his tone. "So, what's the problem?"
"There was a malfunction in the calculations that I used to turn you back into a human," Tony explained.
"So, you made a mistake," Clint said.
"No. There was a malfunction," Tony corrected.
"Which is your way of trying to keep from admitting that you made a mistake," Clint translated.
"Give me a break I was hungover and it was way too early in the morning," Tony said defensively.
"It was noon," Clint said.
"Exactly. Now you understand," Tony said.
Clint just rolled his eyes.
"So, how do we fix-" he cut off again as he reverted to his hawk form.
"Just a few tweaks and corrections to make," Tony replied, taking it in stride.
For the next couple of minutes Tony typed on the keyboard and double checked the equations.
"There," he said finally. "It's done. Now, I just need to turn you back and it should be permanent."
Clint gave a chirp of relief.
Just minutes later, Clint was standing, towel once again wrapped around his waist, fully human once more.
"All righty. You can go put your clothes back on. Let me know if anything else out of the ordinary happens," Tony said as he turned his back to Clint and started working on something on his computer.
"Thanks. I guess," Clint said before walking out of the room.
)()()(
Two hours later, Pepper, Natasha, Thor, Steve, and Bruce walked into Tony's lab where the billionaire, their resident archer, and the feathered team pet were.
"What are you doing?" Pepper asked.
Tony and Clint looked up to see their teammates.
"Oh, I got this fantastic idea while I was fixing Cupid!" Tony said excitedly.
While Steve and Thor remained mostly oblivious to the unintentional double meaning of Tony's words, the other three varied between raised eyebrows and suppressed grins as Clint glared at Tony who, for his part, took a minute to realize what he had just said.
"That came out wrong."
"No duh," Clint said.
"I meant, that I came up with this idea when I was turning Bird Boy back into a human," Tony explained.
"Tony, did you turn Clint into something again?" Pepper asked in a warning tone.
"No! It was a side effect of the hawk incident," he said defensively.
"What he means is, he messed up when he changed me back and it made me keep switching back and forth," Clint explained.
"But I corrected it and now he's fine," Tony assured. "And while I was finding the problem I had an idea. If Feathers could be turned into a hawk, why can't FBJ be turned into a human? Bird Boy already told us he has the brains for it."
"More than enough," Clint said with a slight shudder.
"You know, you still haven't told me what freaked you out so much about that turkey," Tony said.
"Believe me, you don't want to know. I know and I wish I didn't so I'm telling you, you don't want to know," Clint said.
"And you two actually thought this was a good idea?" Bruce asked incredulously, bringing the conversation back to the important topic.
"Well yeah. I mean, not only could we communicate with him if he was human, but he might could actually become a part of the team," Tony said excitedly.
"All right, before you do anything, explain to me how this is even plausible," Bruce said.
"Okay, so when Big Bird was turned into a hawk, the computer had to pick a hawk to turn him into. After all, he'd never been a hawk before. So, based on his DNA and his personality, along with other factors, the computer picked the most probable likeness for Legolas if he were a hawk. Now the computer will do the same with FBJ. It will take all of the important factors into account and pick the best fitting human form for him," Tony explained.
Bruce took in Tony's explanation and studied the calculations for a minute before turning to the others.
"This could actually work," Bruce said.
"So, you're saying that we should let them do it?" Natasha asked.
"We'll I don't know about that. I'm just saying that it's possible that it could be done," Bruce corrected.
He was not about to recommend letting Tony and Clint carry out one of their harebrained schemes.
"I have to admit, I'm kind of curious," Steve said.
"And I, too, would like to see Feather Butt Jr. as a Midgardian," Thor agreed.
Natasha and Pepper exchanged a look before Pepper spoke.
"All right, you can do it, but if this thing backfires, like I think it will, a certain video is going on Youtube."
"And no amount of "It seemed like a good idea at the time's" will save you," Natasha added.
"Understood," Tony and Clint said in unison.
"Lets do this," Clint said.
Tony fired up the animal-to-human machine and with a bright flash of light they looked to see a naked Phil Coulson standing across the room. Or rather Phil Coulson had been the closest human form the computer could pick for FBJ. And according to Tony's readings, it was a perfect fit. FBJ was, apparently, the turkey version of Phil Coulson. Tony finally understood what had disturbed Clint about his conversation with the turkey.
"Change him back! Change him back!" several voices cried out, breaking Tony out of his shock.
And as Tony scrambled to turn the turkey back into a turkey a new video was added to Youtube.
I hope you guys liked it! If so, let me know. If not, still let me know! :)
Btw, Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry I didn't do a Valentine's Day themed chapter. Until someone wished me a happy Valentine's Day this morning I forgot it even was Valentine's Day. I guess that's what happens when you're so focused on studying and preparing for an exam. :)