Thanks for reading and commenting. Quinn, Quinn, Quinn...smh

Chapter 25

It seemed like hours had passed as Beiste stood there, leaning against the sink, sipping her tea, just staring at Quinn. Quinn fidgeted in her seat at the kitchen table, uncomfortable under her gaze, picking up and putting down her own mug of tea just to busy her hands. She was eager to ask Beiste exactly what she was planning to do now. Now that she had caught Quinn in Beth's room, but she was too afraid at just what her answer might be. So Quinn continued to almost drink her tea, and wait. Beiste placed her mug in the sink behind her, remaining there with her back turned to Quinn seeming to be in no hurry to turn around.

Quinn couldn't stand it any longer. "It's great Beth went right back to sleep," said Quinn breaking their silent standoff. "She must have been tired," she added this time actually taking a sip of tea, her throat suddenly dry.

"You disrupted her schedule. Babies need structure for their healthy development," said Beiste without turning to face Quinn.

"I wasn't going to hurt her," said Quinn quietly.

It was then that Beiste turned around. "I know you weren't trying to hurt her. But I'm concerned that you wouldn't let her go when she was in obvious discomfort."

"I didn't want you to take her from me."

"You were holding her too tightly," said Beiste visibly upset. She toyed with the championship ring on her finger at an almost a frantic pace.

"So now you think I'm a horrible mother too? That I don't even know how to hold my own baby?" Tears pooled in her eyes as she realized that the one person she had thought truly understood might now also think she was crazy.

"Something got to you upstairs Quinn. You weren't acting yourself. I just wanted to protect Beth." Quinn could see the tears in Beiste's eyes as she spoke. And there was something else. It looked like fear. Was Beiste afraid of her now?

Upstairs in Beth's nursery she had felt it again, the disconnect, as if she were watching someone else in her body. She knew Beth was crying, but she couldn't do anything to make it stop. It was like some force had control and she was powerless within her own skin. As Beiste had stepped closer, Quinn held her tighter and tighter. She knew it was wrong but everything within her was screaming to not let her go. Only when Beth stilled, making a muffled gurgle had she looked down at her in alarm. Quinn had almost hurt her again. She had collapsed in a fit of tears, Beiste grabbing the baby before she hit the ground.

"Beth doesn't need to be protected from me," Quinn sobbed wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hands.

"What are you doing here Quinn? You're supposed to be at the hospital."

"I needed to see my daughter."

Beiste walked over to her at the table and stood in front of her. "You could have asked Mercedes to bring her by to visit, you didn't have to break in."

"Mercedes was not going to let Beth anywhere near me."

"Then you could've asked me. This coming in here at night, sneaking into my home. I'm concerned Quinn." Beiste held her gently, pressing Quinn's face into her side as she rubbed her back.

"I couldn't take any chances," she sniffled, her tears subsiding.

"You're not drinking your tea," said Beiste nudging the mug toward Quinn.

"I'm not thirsty. I need to know. Are you going to stop me?" Quinn eyed her suspiciously wondering why the sudden change of subject.

"I think you need to go back to the hospital," said Beiste moving back over to the sink. "You don't need any more trouble."

"I'm not leaving here without Beth. I have to do this Coach B. It's the only way."

"Honey you're not thinking clearly. Where are you and that baby gonna go?" asked Beiste as she washed the few dishes in the sink.

"I don't know. Someplace warm, far away where Mercedes will never find us."

"Mercedes is not your enemy Quinn. She is helping you until you get better."

Mercedes had them all under her spell. There was no left to believe Quinn now.

Quinn often wondered how it had happened. Just a couple of years ago, Mercedes was this spoiled brat no one could stand, and now she was treated like Mother Theresa in the town. Saint Mercedes tends to her sick husband and takes care of his illegitimate daughter. The way everyone seemed to love Mercedes made Quinn want to gag at times. It wasn't that she didn't like Mercedes. She actually was starting to bond with her, before all the mess went down. Quinn thought Mercedes was sweet, maybe a tad over eager to please, but she seemed like her heart was in the right place. And she was Julian's daughter, so Quinn made the effort.

What Quinn could never fully understand was Sam. Sure she had known there was some attraction between Sam and Mercedes, all of cyberspace did after that sex tape. But to Quinn it just didn't seem like Mercedes was the type of person that Sam would date, let alone marry. Mercedes had these weird little quirks that she was sure drove Sam insane, and the way she talked so much. Quinn could imagine Sam being annoyed with her after awhile. It just seemed like they didn't really fit.

But then when she thought about how Sam's face lit up every time Mercedes came into the room. Or how devastated he was when he thought Mercedes wanted to be with Shane. The tears in his eyes, the night they slept together, when he thought Mercedes had left him. She couldn't deny that Sam loved her. Who was she to question that? Especially when half the town had never understood her getting back together with Puck either.

The ring of the telephone filled the room. Quinn knew that the call had to be about her. She bolted toward the door leading to the living room, panic setting in. "Don't answer it," she pleaded with Beiste.

"The phone rang earlier, while we were upstairs. It could be important; I need to see who it is."

Quinn grabbed Beiste's hand before she could reach the phone. "Please Coach B, don't tell on me. I just want to save my baby. I promise that is all I want."

"Quinn you need to calm down," stated Beiste.

"Please don't answer the phone."

Quinn could feel Beiste pulling away from her. She didn't want to hurt Beiste, not after all she had done for her and Beth. She had to find a way to make Beiste understand, to get her on her side. As she frantically searched her mind for an answer, a rush of heat overtook her body, causing Quinn to sway unsteadily. Letting go of Beiste's hand, Quinn braced herself on the counter until the dizziness passed.

"I didn't answer."

"Thank you," said Quinn still a little uneasy on her feet.

"Now I need you to do me a favor," said Beiste reaching up to brush the hair out of Quinn's face.

"I'm not going back to the hospital."

"Let me finish. I want you to sit back down at the table and drink your tea. I'm going to pull out some leftovers from the restaurant and make you something to eat. You don't look good Quinn."

"Coach B I don't have time."

"I can easily pick up that phone right now." Beiste guided Quinn over to the table and sat her down.

"Fine. I'll sit for a minute." Her head was starting to spin again.

"So Quinn, I can tell you are convinced you need to take Beth and leave," said Beiste as she pulled containers of food from the refrigerator and placed them on the counter.

"I am Coach B. It's the only way."

"Maybe you need to come up with a plan. You can't just run out into the cold with a baby. You won't get very far."

There had been many times when Quinn had imagined running away with Beth. When she first had been placed in the hospital she had many a restless night plotting ways to take Beth. Then those plans were primarily ways to get back Puck. She would often fantasize about him coming to her rescue, saving her and Beth from the unknown perils of the streets. It was only about Puck then, and getting back the family they had always wanted. Constantly praying that some miracle would suddenly make Beth Puck's daughter. She couldn't believe God would curse her this way. Taking away not only her daughter, but also the man she loved.

After a few weeks of therapy however, Quinn began to see things a bit clearer. She actually started to have real concern for her daughter and her well being and not just her tattered love life. It was a harsh reality when Quinn finally faced up to the fact that she was almost willing to sacrifice her daughter for Puck. She couldn't believe that her mind had blurred so much that she saw Beth as a threat to her own happiness. She had cast Beth in the role of villain, the little destroyer of her dreams. But once she had let go of Puck, fully accepting that what they had was over, almost, Quinn felt lost and alone. She had been clinging onto the idea of Puck and their life living with Julian for so long that she didn't know how to want anything else.

Then she remembered Sam. Their alcohol filled nights on the hotel balcony, his constant support, and never faltering friendship. He was the one bright spot in her life. He always had been. It suddenly seemed fitting that the one person that had always forgiven her, no matter how heinous the offense, the one person that always loved and supported her unconditionally was also Beth's father. It made a crazy kind of sense that her oldest friend was now the person she was most closely connected to for life. He had always been there, when all the others had left. It was Sam she counted on. It was Sam she trusted. Her late night trips to visit him started after that. Sitting in near darkness by his bedside, sharing her hopes and fears, wishing they both could escape to a better place, Quinn found peace.

"I was hoping Sam would come with us."

"Sam?" Beiste looked up from the dish she was preparing in shock.

"I know. Crazy huh?"

Every time Quinn talked about Sam lately people gave her strange looks. They either thought she was living in an imaginary world where Sam walked and talked only to her. Or they were indignant, as if she had no right to mention his name, since she wasn't his wife. She was just the woman that ruined his life. No one seemed to consider how much Sam meant to her too. That she had a place in his life before the accident, before Mercedes, before everything.

"I'm sure you miss him. We all do," said Beiste gently.

"I just thought that maybe he would by some miracle wake up and help me tonight."

"Well let's try to think of what Sam might say if he were here now. What kind of plan would he come up with?" Beiste put the plate in the microwave before coming to join Quinn at the table.

"He'd want to make sure we were safe."

"How would he do that?"

"I don't know, maybe whisk us away in his jet."

"You don't think Sue and Dwight would try and stop him? They love Beth very much."

"You're right. He would have us lay low at first. Rent a room in a motel outside of town, then sneak out in the middle of the night."

"Do you have money saved up for this? Beth needs her diapers and formula. You have to pay for food and transportation."

"Why are you making this so hard Coach B?" asked Quinn resting her forehead on the table.

"You need to think it through sweetheart."

"Sam would say that."

"Think it through?"

"Yeah. He said I had a tendency to run off half cocked. Which I always thought was hypocritical of him because he's the same way."

"Seems like you two know each other well," said Beiste.

Quinn smiled. They had been through so much together. He had seen her at her worst and still never turned away from her.

"We do. I sometimes think no one knows me better."

She noted the picture of Sam on the small desk in the kitchen. He was with Mercedes of course, matching big grins, their arms wrapped around each other, happy. He had once looked that way with her, all those years ago serenading her under the styrofoam stars in the science lab. Quinn shook herself free of the memories, not wanting to dwell on the reason why she suddenly felt the need to prove that Mercedes wasn't the only woman that ever made his smile that bright.

"Would he really want you to do this Quinn? Would he want you to take Beth away from people that love her?"

"Sam would want Beth with her mother."

Quinn knew without a doubt that Sam would never let anyone take Beth from her. If he were able, Sam would have her out of this legal nightmare and Beth would be safely back in her arms. Sam would stand by her.

"But wouldn't he worry that you two weren't safe, out there on your own? What if he woke up and found you gone? How would he feel?"

"He would understand." He always understood.

Her mind went to another sleepless night at the Beacon Hotel, leaning against the metal balcony bars, sipping beers under the star filled sky.

"I wish we could run away. To Tahiti. We could live in a hut," said Quinn, eyes closed visualizing the scene.

"I somehow can't see you roughing it," said Sam taking another swallow of his beer.

"Ok a bungalow with indoor plumbing," she laughed.

"Better. Would we hunt and gather our own food, live off the land?" he turned to face her, getting more into the game.

"You could catch fish with your bare hands."

"I think I'd rather use a spear. More manly." He rubbed the cold beer bottle across his forehead, cooling himself from the heat.

"Me in a grass skirt. You all tan. It would be paradise."

"It does sound nice. We could be free." He looked at her then, his eyes sparkling in the twilight. She could tell he was there with her, on that beach.

"Let's do it," she said excitedly. "We could run away tomorrow. What's stopping us from escaping?"

"Forget about everyone in Lima? Just leave them all behind?" he asked, seeming a bit surprised.

"Why not? Everyone hates us anyway. We'd have each other. What more would we need?"

"You could just give up on Puck? Forget about him just like that?"

"I don't know," she looked out at the darkening Lima city skyline. "Maybe. I think life under the sun with you could make almost anything bearable. As long as I have you by my side," she said softly holding his gaze.

He smiled, his pink lips stretched wide as he looked at her through the balcony bars. "Well that you got. We don't need a beach. You got me right here." He placed his hand over his heart. "No way you can shake me. We're for life."

"Would he really? Would he understand you taking his daughter away from him? Mercedes takes Beth to see him sometimes you know."

"I don't want to talk about Mercedes. She's the reason I have to do this."

"It's not just Mercedes alone here with the baby. I'm here too. Don't you trust me?"

"I do."

"Good," said Beiste rising from the table to check on the food in the microwave. "Drink some more of your tea. The food is almost done."

"How did you know about the castle Coach B?" asked Quinn as she sipped her tea.

"What castle are you talking about?"

"The one on the wall in Beth's room." In her mind she could still see it. Pastel pinks and celestial blues, following her around the room, taunting her at every turn, she physically shook her head trying to block the image out.

"Oh Sue did that. She overheard Mercedes telling Beth that story she always tells her about her castle in the stars, and she had that mural painted. Came out nice."

"Mercedes knows?" A knot formed in the pit of her stomach as she let that information sink in. Her poor little Beth.

"Mercedes knows what honey?" asked Beiste placing a plate of food on the table in front of Quinn.

There was a knock at the door. Quinn jumped up in panic. "Don't let her in please," she begged Beiste.

"It's okay," said Beiste coming to Quinn's side, gently holding onto her arm. "Come in," Beiste called out.

Quinn held her breath as the door opened, resigned to the fact that she had nowhere to run.