Crazy trouble with love part 3
Tonya, Mandarella, and Peter
Series: Marvel
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-Earth-616 universe, New York-
It was a nice evening, the cars were honking, the criminals were locked up, and it was relatively calm for a Friday. Well….except for a red portal appearing on the Daily Bugle building.
Two cloaked figures appeared with one dropping down and fell face first onto the roof.
"Ok." Said the red cloaked figure. "Next time, don't antagonize the Beyonder!"
"Blah blah blah, you gonna keep nagging me?" asked the black cloaked figure?
"You're lucky we're still alive." The figure sighed before looking around. "Mmm, looks like he sent us to the 616 universe."
"Keep an eye out for costumed heroes, in this world they're just a hop skip and a drop away." spoke the other figure as he crawled to the edge to look around the city.
"Oh like him?" The red cloaked figure said pointing to a red and blue hero while swinging on white webs. "Because if that's a hero then Shirou's a woman."
"You know sometimes I think you wanna just go around and bang every male turned woman."
"Meh, I'm more of a anything goes harem person." The figure said. "But seriously, who was that hero again?"
The other figure facepalmed at that. "Really? You don't know one of the best heroes in the marvel universe? If not, then get out of here before I toss you in a volcano."
"I was joking." He chuckled. "I was just being a jerk, kind of like….Tony Stark."
"I think you mean Tonya Stark." smirked the other figure with a devious chuckle.
"Oh? And what about the Mandarin?" The red cloaked figure grinned. "Or should I say Mandarlee...no. Um….Empress...um…"
"How about Empress Mandarella?" spoke the other figure.
"I like it, now the bet." He grinned. "We get one of the males and turn them into females, then make them go crazy for Peter. First one to see their girl kiss the spider gets a free trip to the Savage lands!"
"One small problem, well for you at least."
"And that would be?"
The black cloaked one moved over before quickly strapping a bracelet around the red cloaked one's neck as he fell to the roof instantly.
"Damn you!" He yelled while a similar bracelet appeared on the black cloaked figure's arm.
"Ha! I'm closer to Tony then you are to the Mandarin, so I'm already a shoe in." smirked the figure before running and jumped over the edge. Only to have the bracelet activate and turned him into a shark. A very large megalodon to be exact. This led to him crashing against the ground making him feel pain, but keeping him alive, but in massive pain.
"Ha ha! Got you!" The red cloaked figure laughed while making a portal. "You can't mess with a portal master and a lover of arcane magic!" And with that he vanished. Only to end up at the moon. "...Yui."
(With Yui)
Said figure dragged himself up the side of Tony's building with a hiss. "Damn it Omni, that hurt like hell, and now I gotta climb up the side of this place. Why couldn't he just be a normal person and make it the first floor?"
As he finally got up there he saw Tony Stark working on some upgrades to his Ironman suit. But also listening to What You Did In The Dark.
'Hmm, looks easy. And here I thought he had some high tech traps around.'
Beep.
A few large lasers appeared and aimed at Yui.
"Oh shit." He said before the lasers deactivated.
"System shutdown." Spoke Jarvis before the entire building was engulfed in darkness.
'Bingo.' he thought before slipping through the glass while Tony rushed to get the system back on while putting his suit on.
"Not again." He grumbled while not noticing that a figure was walking behind him with a massive USB stick with a heart on it. "This is the third time this week."
The figure lunged and jammed the stick in a port he found. It sparked a neon pink as it started to course through Tony's armor and body.
"Gah! What the fucks going on?!"
"Makeover~!" sang the figure.
He turned and saw a black cloaked figure. "Who are you and how did you get in here!"
"That's not important, what is important is finding out what your size is." he laughed while Tony stumbled in his suit.
His body started to shrink and condense as the armor slimmed down as well. His hair grew until it reached his legs, his face lost his scruff and his chest started to get bigger until it was a D cup size that filled up his black shirt. His groin rotated and shrunk back into his body. "W-What did you do!?" He yelled in a girl's voice.
"Come out of the armor and look in the mirror."
He did so before looking through a large mirror that the black cloaked figure pulled out of nowhere. "Oh, it's a trick mirror."
"That ain't no trick mirror, it's as real as these armors."
"...yep I'm drunk." He said while looking at his chest. "Completely wasted."
"Nope, this is all real."
Tony's eyes widened before screaming. "AAHHH!"
Bonk!
The newly made woman got hit with a hammer at that.
"Feel that?"
"Yes." She said rubbing her head. "But what are you? Wait...you're that Impossible Man guy that the Fantastic Four keep running into!"
"No, I'm much more handsome and cooler, but I can do just as much as he can, along with more."
"Like what?" She frowned before getting a warm sensation in her body and mind, thinks to the USB stick data. She groaned and held onto the counter while hitting a few buttons on the console before several of the suits turned on and turned to the figure and aimed their weapons at him. "Now talk! Why did you do this?!"
He looked at the weapons before spinning around like a certain tasmanian devil and spun towards Tony.
Her eyes widened before she got sucked in and cried out while the suits didn't fire due to not getting a command. She then felt the tornado stopping as she was sent flying into a wall. "OW! I'm gonna feel that in the morning."
The figure grinned before walking towards Tony and grabbed her neck. "Now just hold still and look at this." he pulled out a picture of Spider-Man and held it to her face.
She looked at it as a burning sensation occurred in her body as her face turned red. "What are you-"
The figure interrupted by showing a picture of Peter Parker naked. "Don't talk to me, just focus on the picture, Tonya Stark."
She looked at the picture before feeling her body getting warmer and warmer until she couldn't take it anymore. "P-Parker….must….find Peter Parker!"
The figure grinned as he let Tonya go and saw her getting into her suit. "I think he went north."
She nodded before taking flight and exiting the building.
'Wonder if I can raid the fridge.' He thought before getting hit by a pie from a portal.
(With Omni)
"Take that Yui!" Omni said while floating above the Mandarin's fortress invisible. "That's the power of custard pies!"
He landed on the inside and made his way towards the main doors.
"Ok, now which spell to use." He muttered to himself while walking through the gates and into the fortress. "Maybe a disney one...no no. Um, a spell from the DC universe, no. Hmmm…."
But as he walked, he failed to spot a laser trip wire that sent a silent alarm to the main room where the Mandarin was.
"Mmm, oh I got it!" Omni grinned before seeing a lot of guards. "Yep," he then pulled out a large dragon from a portal. "It's CHOW TIME!"
"GRA!" It roared before running towards the guards.
All of them scattered and fired at the dragon as it fought off the guards with Omni sneaking off.
"Now that I distracted them, where would I find a self absorbed, ape shiting, ring obsessed, cow humping-" he kept rambling on while waiting for the Mandarin to take the bait.
Which worked too well as a blast of energy hit Omni in the face. "Ow, looks like it worked."
"You fool." Spoke a man with green and yellow robes, blue eyes with long black hair, and ten multi colored rings on his hands. "How dare you enter my fortress."
"I dare!" Omni grinned. "For I'm sir Omni, King of the Britons!"
"Then you will fall here and now." he frowned before a purple smoke came from his hands and was thrown at Omni.
Omni saw the smoke before it engulfed him. "Ok, this is just silly, I mean a smokescreen. I've seen Pokemon do better than this!" He then felt a little sick. "Oh poison….meh I've had worse." He then summoned a large fan and blew it way.
The Mandarin however smirked before creating a powerful wind with his hand and sent a whirlwind at Omni.
"Oh look." He said while using a rope and lassoed it before riding it like a bucking bronco. "I'm Pecos Bill! Yeeha!"
"You will perish!"
"If you can touch me!" He laughed before summoning a massive foot and stomped the Mandarin on the ground. "Monty Python, got to love him!"
"Release me!"
"Let's see…." He said while moving closer to him with a mass of pink energy with runes around his hand. "No, Egnahc Xes Elamef!"
The Mandarin's eyes widened as the energy was dropped onto his forehead. He then felt his body convulse and stutter as he felt his body compress and before more feminine. His ass became larger as his chest grew to a D cup that was noticeable in his robes, the rings on his hands changed from gold to platinum as his crotch started to shrink.
"Say goodbye to the Mandarin and hello to the Empress Mandarella!" Omni grinned as the spell finished its course.
"W-What have you done?!"
"I used an irreversible spell to change your gender." He shrugged. "Oh also," he pulled out a picture of Spider-man. "Take a good long look."
Mandarella looked and started to feel a sudden warm feeling through her body. "T-That have-"
"Shush." Omni grinned before showing a picture of Peter Parker in the nude. "Just keep looking at him. Keep looking and feel yourself getting warm, warmer than any place on earth. And picture him in your heart." 'She's about to crack, they always do.'
She looked on before feeling her chest pounding and her mind envisioning the person in the picture in emperor's robes. 'W-What's happening to me?' She thought before the last shreds of her logical mind gave away to a sensation of longing and lust. "You, tell me where to find this boy."
"He's in New York City, and make sure you kiss him on the lips." Omni grinned as the Lady Mandarella activated her rings as she created a vortex of wind under her feet. "Have fun!"
(With Peter)
He swung around while looking for anything involving to crime. And it was too quiet, not even a bank robbery occurred today. 'Wow, if I knew it was gonna be this quiet I would have gone to see a movie.'
"Spider-Man!" Yelled a female voice as the sound of jets proposition came right towards Peter.
'Spoke too soon.' he turned his head and saw what looked like Iron Man, except for the fact it was more slimmer and streamlined.
The armor crashed into the webslinger and sent him into a window. This lead to him rolling through an office through cubicles while feeling each wall.
"Ow...that's going to leave a mark." Spider-Man groaned in pain as he saw the armor flying towards him again and grabbing him tight.
"Calm down and let me kiss you." she spoke while the helmet opened up and he looked at her face.
"Huh?! T-Tony?!"
"It's Tonya. And pucker up now." She said while getting ready to kiss him.
He got his arms free and pushed her back with a grunt. "Tony listen! What the hell happened to you?"
"It's Tonya." She frowned while putting her mask back on. "And I'm quite fine, so just don't run and I will give you a nice kiss."
'Ok, this must be some kind of dream! Or maybe Mysterio finally perfected the perfect illusion!?' he grabbed her helmet and pushed it back. "Listen...Tonya, let's go find Dr. Strange or someone who can figure out just what happened, but I need you to let go first."
"Only for a kiss." She said while holding him tighter. "That's my only request."
'This is getting me nowhere!' he thought. "Um, alright, but first you have to open your helmet up."
She did so as her long black hair flowed out of the helmet. "Like it?"
"Sure." he spoke while she leaned in and he aimed his hand just right before firing some webbing out and covered her face.
"Mmmm!" She muttered out while trying to take the webbing off. "MMM!"
Peter slipped away and ran off through the window. "Sorry Tony! Er, Tonya! I'll help you out later!" he called before slinging out and away from the building.
"Spider-Man!" Another female voice yelled out as a woman in green and yellow robes, floating on a vortex of air, sped towards him. "You will not escape my emperor!"
"What the?!" he went wide eyed before ducking under her and clung to the nearest building. 'Who's that? She looks familiar though.'
"You will be mine!" She yelled before a large fire ball sped towards the building. "Even if I, Empreses Mandarella, have to bring you back as a cripple!"
His eyes widened and jumped off the building and shot another web to swing around her before using his free hand to shoot a webbing around her feet.
"You will pay for that!" She yelled before sending lightning at the hero.
Spider-Man dodged as he thought about who she was. 'Ok, she said her name was Empress Mandarella, so the only….oh god no! That's the Mandarin!' he looked and narrowly dodged, but the dust made by the lightning obscured him. 'Damn it! What sort of dream am I in!'
The woman grinned before causing the air around Spider-Man to solidify around his arms and legs before using a wind vortex to catch him. "Ah, my emperor is secured."
'Fuck, I didn't focus on my surroundings.'
"Now," she grinned while moving closer to him. "Let us make love right now. Or perhaps a kiss from my soon to be emperor?"
'Holy shit! Is this really the same Mandarin? Cause this is mind blowing and insane!'
"Get your hands away from him!" Yelled Tonya while flying towards Empress Mandarella and tackling her into a building.
Peter blinked and went falling while he grunted to lift the slabs against each other to try and crack them. "Come on come on! I need just one arm free, just one!"
"You bitch!" Tonya yelled. "He was mine!"
"Yours?" Empress Mandarella growled. "He was my future emperor!"
"No he's mine!"
"In your dreams whore!"
"Oh you didn't just call me a whore you slut!"
"You will pay for that!"
Spider-Man struggled against the blocks as he heard building crash and explosions occurring from the two pissed of women. He swung them one last time with one breaking and freeing one hand, giving him a chance to fire webbing and swung over onto a roof before he broke the other slab against the roof and sighed in relief.
However he couldn't rest as he still has to do something about the two women, like right NOW!
"Two women, who use to be guys, causing more damage than I do. If there was anytime for someone to give me a hand, now is the time!"
"Yo." Spoke a red cloaked figure while floating in front of him with a black cloaked figure. "You rang Peter?"
"Uh….who are you two?"
"Names Omni, master of space and time. And this guy is Yui, master of crazy ships and other assorted things." The red cloaked figure grinned. "Huh, so which one kissed you? Empress Mandarella or Tonya Stark?"
"Neither. And wait….are you two the ones behind this?" he frowned.
"Yep." He grinned while giving Peter a cat. "Your prize young grasshopper."
"Zuba!" The cat said before turning into a butterfly and flying away.
"Look, if this is some prank it's gone too far." he spoke before hearing another explosion. "If they don't stop they could cause someone their life!"
"Like Gwen or perhaps most of mankind?" He shrugged. "But this wasn't a prank, it was a bet."
"A bet?"
"Yep, to see who would kiss you first. I changed the Mandarin and Yui here changed Tony. But wait…" He turned to Yui. "How did you change back from my megalodon curse?"
"You think turning me into a giant shark is hard to get out of? Please, I've been turned into worst."
"Like that Alp." He grinned. "I'm still amazed you liked that form." 'Even if you tried seducing a few boys with it.'
"Point is Peter, we like turning men into women. And yes it's weird, beyond weird actually, but considering all the insane stuff in this universe, what's giving Tonya a kiss compared to other stuff? Just kiss her, and things will calm down."
"True, but we do crazy pairings." Omni grinned. "But kiss Empress Mandarella and you can have all the powers in the world. Even to protect this universe from beings like Thanos and….Deadpool."
"He hates Deadpool for some reason, even though he's the best merc with a mouth around."
"Meh. He's so-"
Bang!
"GAH! Who just d….DEADPOOL!" Omni yelled while seeing Deadpool holding a shotgun near his head.
"Hey Omni! Yui! You two messing around with universes still?"
"It's our job to create new worlds." Omni frowned. "Also why did you just shoot me! I had enough problems from the female Roman Torchwick shooting my face and balls so WHY you!?"
"One, because Yui here is a big fan of mine and invited me. And second, because I wanted to see if it would hurt. Did it?"
"Meh." He shrugged. "I've had worse, trust me Waine, I know about it after getting shot by Daleks, mutilated by Slenderman, and turned into a large futa girl by a crazy cursed medallion Yui made!"
"HEY!" yelled Peter. "Can we focus on the big problem here?! Those girls are out of control and YOU TWO are the cause behind it!"
"Yeesh Peter, you're more uptight than Jaune is. And he's having problems being a Hunter in a world full of Grimm." He sighed. "But look, it's permanent, they can't change back but if you can get them to either, kiss you one at a time, or just at the same time. They will stop. But to get their attention just say this line, Girls, I want to ask you both on a double date!, and then that's it."
"...are you insane?!"
"That's Deadpool's job." He frowned. "Not mine."
"Trust me dude, even I can't make them turn back to normal. But look at the upside, they stop fighting and causing more property damage, you might get two hot girlfriends, yes one of them is a supervillain but you can reform her, and both are very resourceful. It's either that or stand by and wait till they destroy each other up, someone else does, or possibly Deadpool here bangs them." spoke Yui pointing to said merc with a wine bottle.
"Don't." Omni frowned. "Just don't or I will throw him into the one place his abilities can't work." He grinned. "The end of time itself."
"What's with you? This is just a bottle of wine I keep with me just in case I need to impress the ladies. What'd you think I was gonna do with it?" asked Waine.
"Easy, kill them with a broken bottle." He deadpanned. "Also word of warning, don't EVER try to get your mind 'fixed' or else you will be killed by us."
"Aw, I think he's warming up to me." Deadpool whispered to Yui.
Omni heard that as a large portal appeared as an Indominus Rex appeared and ripped him in half before vanishing into the portal.
"You've really gotta cool down. As for you Peter, we'll get their attention, but you gotta be the one to kiss them."
"And try not to fuck them yet. Trust me, we know you BANG a lot of girls." Omni sighed. "And I do mean A LOT."
Peter facepalmed before Yui picked up a small rock and hurled it at the two women at amazing speeds. And it missed due to a gravity field.
"Let me try." Omni sighed before creating a portal which summoned a man with a yellow suit, a yellow fedora hat and a green mask, with a horn with the letters, Use lightly.
It was used and a cartoon mouth appeared.
"AAAALLLOOOOGGGAAAA!"
Both women turned from the sound with Yui dangling Peter by his ankles over the building.
"Come and get him!" Omni yelled. "He's hot, fresh, and ready to make you his lovers! Come and get it!"
Both grinned before flying towards Peter.
Yui let go of Peter who flipped him off with the hero being caught by Tonya.
"Spider-Man." She smiled. "Let's kiss."
But Empress Mandarella shot her with a burst of light.
"Gah!" She yelled while dropping Peter before Empress Mandarella grabbed him.
"Don't worry my emperor, I will keep you safe from that whore."
'Need to time this right.' he thought seeing Tony flying back up. He jumped out of Mandarella's arms and shot his webbing out, tying their heads together. "Bingo!"
"Mmm!"
"MMM!"
He chuckled at that before seeing that they were so preoccupied with getting the webbing off that they were about to fly into a billboard.
KASPLAT!
But luckily Peter shot more webbing to cushion the crash and stick them to it together. However his web canisters ran out then and there right over the street, and right above a construction sight to boot.
"I'll get him." Omni sighed while using a portal to catch him and sent him right on the building with the webbed up girls. "That was too close."
"Ok, this is gonna be weird, but I'll do it." spoke Peter pulling his mask up a little so his mouth was out and climbed up near Tonya. "Can you undo your helmet?"
His answer was her mask folding back as Tonya's face and hair revealed itself. He moved over and pressed his lips against hers while getting a moan out of her.
"Damn." Omni sighed. "Looks like I lost."
Peter pulled back from the bounded Tonya and moved over to Mandarella before tearing the webbing off from around her mouth. "Sorry if that stung, pretty sticky stuff."
"It's fine my emperor." She said. "Plus it might be good in bed."
He blushed before moving closer and connected their lips next. He heard a moan and felt his tongue being wrestled with. 'Oh god, she really likes this!'
Eventually he pulled away and put his mask back over his mouth and turned to the figures. "There, everything fine now?"
"Well yes and no." Omni said. "Yes you got them to calm down but….now they will not let you go in the slightest."
"As it turns out, we're better at making crazy women than we thought." remarked Yui. "But they should be a little less high strung after tasting your lips."
"So you should be happy about this Peter, you have two girlfriends now."
"And look at the time, we gotta go."
"Yeah," Omni said before making a portal. "So have fun and as for us….I'm going to spend time in the Savage Land. Later." And with that they vanished into the portal as it disappeared into oblivion.
'I hate those guys.' He thought before turning to the girls. 'But now….how am I going to explain this?'
"Hey Spidey, what say we lose the extra weight and go back to my place for a couple of drinks." smirked Tonya.
"Or we lose the commoner and make love in my chambers." Empress Mandarella grinned.
"No he's coming with me."
"Over my dead corpse!"
"Knock it off you two!" Yelled Peter in annoyance. 'If I knew this is what two girlfriends was gonna be like I would have just knocked them out.'
"Spider-Man." Tonya said. "Kiss me again."
"Me too my emperor." Empress Mandarella said. "Your lips were simply delectable."
'Yup, I'm gonna knock those guys out next time I see'em.'
(With said guys)
"This is the life." Omni said while punching a raptor in the face. "Right Yui?"
"No Omni, for there are countless other pairings that must come to life." spoke Yui overlooking a cliff with a black bar above and below the screens.
"So damn true. Like Female Mephos and Spider-Man and maybe a female Ultron and Spider-Man." Omni laughed. "But right now I want to see what happens if you punch raptors."
"Nothing. When I punch raptors, they go extinct."
"...ok at least Deadpool's not aro-"
Kaslish!
"DAMN YOU!" Yelled the head of Omni in anger.
"Deadpool you're making it harder for Omni to like you."
"Meh." he shrugged.
Omni growled before using some chain like weapons with blades at the end to slice Deadpool to pieces. "And stay down."
"I'll be back later, or at least when the sequel comes out~" he sang.
"And I will be there to give you the one thing you fear." He pulled out a certain box. "Something that nearly Ajaxed you to death."
"Blah blah blah, how much longer is this chapter again?"
BANG!
Omni grinned while shooting Deadpool in the head with a shotgun. "Now it is bitch!"