Chapter 24 – In Memory Of…
Alicia knocked on the door to the apartment Asuka had indicated, as she opened her clenched right hand. She had volunteered for this, but that didn't mean she had to like what she was about to do. She hadn't attended the funerals of the other people killed at the Garden, as she didn't really know them that well, and they didn't know her either. This, however, was personal, and something that she had to do.
The door opened, and a familiar face was there. Seeing him brought a smile to her face for the first time since Rei and Sonnet had died.
"Hello Shinji. How have you been?"
Asuka found herself enveloped in a hug, and she returned the gesture, as she was glad to see him as well.
"I'm great Asuka, and I'm glad to see you. Mum and dad asked me to call home for a couple of days, but they didn't say why. You're now here as well, so I'm guessing you know what they are up to?"
"I know a few details," She told him a half truth, "But I don't know exactly what they were planning."
"OK," He looked to her left, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you a SeeD too?"
"Yes, I'm Alicia Paige."
"Shinji Ikari, nice to meet you."
Alicia took the offered hand, with a clear guilty expression on her face. Luckily, Shinji couldn't read emotions and faces very well, so he didn't ask what was wrong.
"Come on in then, I'm sure they will explain if you're here."
The knot in Asuka's stomach returned full force as she entered the all too familiar apartment. After receiving hugs from her guardians, she introduced Alicia to them, and then she, Alicia and Shinji sat on the sofa, while Gendo and Yui sat on the arm chairs.
"I'm glad you came to visit Asuka. We've not heard from you for a while, and you did promise to keep in more regular contact now that you had passed your exams."
Asuka did recall the promise that she had made to Yui, and found it amazing to think that it had all only happened just over a month ago.
"Truthfully, I couldn't go anywhere else. Right now, I think this is the best place for me."
"What's happened? And why didn't you bring Rei with you? We invited Shinji home again so that he could meet his cousin."
"What? I have a cousin? I thought you said your sister and her family had died when I was a child. Or is she from dad's side of the family?"
Asuka was surprised to find that her eyes were not watering. She wrote it off as being out of tears after the amount of crying that she had done since her friends had died.
"No, she's my sister's daughter. Somehow she survived the attack that killed her parents. So, where is she Asuka?"
She shook her head:
"I'm afraid she won't be coming," She looked Gendo in the eyes, because it was easier than focussing on Yui, "Have you heard about what happened at Balamb Garden two weeks ago?"
"Yes, the news reported that there had been equipment problems, and that several people had been injured by escaped Training Centre monsters, although no one was killed."
"That's not true," Asuka immediately said, knowing she was about to disobey a direct order from her Commander, but also felt that they deserved to know the truth, "There was an incident, and I suppose it was partially equipment related, but it's a lie that no one was killed."
"Eight people were killed during this incident, and I'm sorry to say that Rei was one of them."
Gendo and Shinji didn't look too concerned, as they hadn't actually known Rei. Yui, however, had spoken to her privately, and had felt a connection to her, which was why she was glad when the DNA tests had returned positive results. She was looking forward to getting to know her niece.
"Oh no. She was killed? Why her and how?"
"I can't tell you everything, and I'm going to have to ask you to keep what I'm going to tell you to yourselves, as I'm not actually supposed to say anything," Asuka turned to Alicia, "If you want to leave before you witness me breaking rules, now is your chance."
"No," Alicia firmly replied, "She was my friend too, and I've helped you thus far. I might as well stay for the duration. Besides, Mr Shuuichi told both of us about her true past, so won't be anything new to me."
"Suit yourself," Asuka shrugged before turning back to her guardians, "Will you please keep what I am about to tell you to yourselves?"
All three, reluctantly in Yui's case, consented, so Asuka began explaining:
"There was a member of SeeD who was actually a former slave of Sorceress Adel. Due to complications in her childhood, she was selected to be the prototype for an unofficial program, referred to as Project 2501, which would have eventually given Adel a powerful private army. This program made her into a human-looking cyborg, which had the side-effect of practically stopping her aging, in case you were wondering how she could be a SeeD now if she was a child when Adel was controlling Esthar."
"She was our age from appearances," Alicia added, "But chronologically she was 42."
"This cyborg was liberated from Adel by the Resistance, and raised by one of them as his daughter. That man is the Mr Shuuichi that Alicia mentioned, and you are also familiar with his research into cancer treatments. Over time, he reminded her how to be human again, and also monitored and maintained her cybernetic systems, before teaching her how to do that herself. She eventually decided that she wanted a life of her own, and applied for SeeD. She was a Trabia Garden student for a few years, and transferred to Balamb in time to take the same SeeD exams that Rei I did. We all passed, and Rei and I worked with her for a while, before her secret was accidentally revealed. She asked us to keep it a secret, which we did, but we later learned that someone apparently had a grudge against Sorceresses, and found a way to re-create how Adel controlled her. This was used, and then she was used to attack Balamb Garden. Rei and I tried to stop her, but failed, and Rei was killed before she somehow became herself again. I…I killed her before she could kill me or anyone else."
That's mostly true, she told herself, I don't think they need to know everything.
"Do we know the person who became this cyborg?"
"Yes, actually Gendo," Asuka held up her still gloved hands, "you did meet her briefly the last time I visited here. She dropped in and gave me these gloves as a birthday present."
"The silver haired young lady?" He queried.
"Correct. Her name was Sonnet, by the way."
Although she was trying to be calm, she could feel herself getting upset again, and felt a tear roll down her cheek. She placed her face in her hands, and discreetly wiped it away, the strong smell of the leather drawing her attention for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news, especially since you only recently met her, but I thought it was best you heard from me, rather than a generic SeeD messenger."
Asuka reached into the bag that she had placed at her feet, and withdrew the urn that contained her ashes.
"Since Garden didn't know she had you as relatives, I was allowed to take custody of her belongings and remains. I had her cremated, as I thought it would be nice to…to scatter her ashes…" Her barriers were crumbling again, and she knew it, "…scatter her ashes around Winhill, so that she can be with her family again."
She sniffled, and held out the urn to Yui, who carefully took it.
"I think that's a very nice idea Asuka," Alicia commented, as she stood up, "Now, I'm sorry to just go like this, but I need to be back in Trabia by tomorrow, and the last ferry leaves in an hour, so I need to get going now. Asuka, contact me if you need anything, or want to talk."
"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."
Shinji showed Alicia out, before sitting down next to Asuka again, and putting an arm over her shoulders.
"Does Garden know who was controlling her?" Yui asked, holding the urn as though it may shatter at any moment.
"No, unfortunately," Asuka leaned towards Shinji, "Believe me, if we did, I'd go and kill him, no matter whom he is or what is job is."
"Careful Asuka, that sounds like a vendetta. That's a very twisted path to go down."
"I don't care. He, or she, is responsible for the deaths of two of my friends, and a few other Garden personnel. There will be no mercy if I ever find him."
Asuka sniffled again, before asking:
"I realise I'm pushing my luck here, but can I stay for a few days? I want to think about a few things, and get my heart and mind in order. This is the closest place I have to a true home, so I'd feel the most comfortable here."
"How many times do we have to tell you, you're always welcome here, no matter what the circumstances."
"Thank you."
"You can use my room," Shinji offered, "I can sleep on the sofa for a couple of nights."
"I appreciate that, do you mind if I go and lie down?"
"Of course not, come on."
Shinji pulled her to her feet, and led her towards the room in question. As soon as she sat down on the bed, she allowed her barriers to crumble, and her tears to flow once again. Shinji didn't say a word; he just held her close as she cried, providing silent support.
Squall looked at the recent email on his computer screen. The sender's email address was one that he rarely saw, but one he recognised none the less:
Commander Leonhart,
As you may be aware, Sonnet Baji was a former student of mine until she transferred to Balamb Garden. I was sorry to hear about her death, which is why I've written the following tribute for her. I hope you find it satisfactory. Please feel free to edit it as you see fit, as I'm sure Garden doesn't need to learn the whole truth about her.
He opened the attachment, and briefly read through it.
Sonnet Baji – A caring SeeD who had a uniquely unfortunate life.
Practical - Sonnet always did like to be prepared for as many eventualities as possible. She was also capable of quickly adapting to changing situations, which is a rare trait.
Reasonable - Sonnet always took a reasonable approach, and would hear someone out regarding anything that was bothering them before making comments.
Organised – Sonnet always kept herself organised, which is a very useful skill for a SeeD.
Just - Sonnet hated seeing people being treated harshly or unfairly, and would help out in anyway she could. She had a strong sense of justice, regardless of who was being treated unfairly. This is most likely due to the unfair things that happened to her when she was a child.
Equal minded – Sonnet would never take one side over another. She would always remain neutral, and try to mediate problems between fellow students.
Caring – Sonnet didn't make friends easily, but the few she had she was loyal to, and cared deeply for them.
Tactful – Unlike a lot of people, Sonnet was able to keep any harsh remarks to herself, as she truly hated offending people.
By her 25th birthday, she hoped to be the #1 gun user in at least one Garden, as she had incredible aim which was further boosted by some of the operations that she underwent as a child in Esthar.
If she had lived her life, as she should have been allowed to, it is my firm belief that she could have achieved any target that she set for herself, as she was determined and caring enough to do so.
During her time as her Instructor, I came to care for her, although I am ashamed to admit that I was scared of her later on, when I learned more about her.
When I met her again, a couple of weeks ago, I found it difficult to keep what I knew to myself, as I didn't know if she had ever told anyone the truth about herself, and I didn't want to let such a large secret out, as it wasn't my secret to reveal.
For the few days that she was back here, I got to know her again, and a small part of me realised that, despite her special condition, she was still a human being, and deserved to be treated as such.
She was a kind, considerate, and caring individual, which I believe is incredible given how difficult her past was. I will miss her now that she is gone, as she had such incredible potential.
From what little he knew of Miss Baji, it seemed to be a fitting tribute. Accessing the Garden database, he forwarded the attachment to Miss Sohyru, with a request that she read it and let him know if it was suitable for her friend. He then moved onto the next email in his list.
She sat at her desk in her classroom, reading through what she had written on paper, and then emailed to Commander Leonhart. Hopefully, if nothing else, it would clear her conscience, as she couldn't believe now that she had agreed to go along with his scheme regarding Sorceresses. Somehow, he had convinced her that it was the right thing for them to be monitored and eliminated where necessary. After seeing how far he had gone, she was actually relieved that the scheme had failed, even if it had cost nine innocent lives, including her former student.
She had loaded up her computer to send the message, but unplugged the network cable before she typed it, so that there would be no recording of her keystrokes in the archive core and therefore less of a trail that might lead him to her. Once the message was sent, she shut down again, and thought back to what she had heard as she had left the hidden room built into the walls of his office.
She found it amazing that he was hoping that there would still be a way for him to contain Sorceresses. She believed that, because Adel had killed his family not long after Project 2501 was liberated by the Resistance, his obsession over Sorceresses had pushed his sanity to its limits. He couldn't see that not all Sorceresses were evil. After all, Mrs Leonhart hadn't ever harmed anyone with her powers, not even in self-defence.
It was, however, proven fact that a Sorceress had to pass on her powers to another before she died; otherwise that Sorceress would never rest peacefully. Even if they had seen who gained Mrs Leonhart's powers if his scheme had been successful, there was no practical way he could have kept track of the new Sorceress for more than a few days. Even cloaked, Sonnet would have been detected within that time, and most likely eliminated.
A strong and familiar smell ticked her senses, causing Asuka to slowly open her eyes.
Bacon. How can I smell bacon? The Cafeteria is at the other…
She then remembered where she was, and quickly sat upright using her arm for support. A smile spread across her face as she looked around Shinji's old bedroom, before getting out of the second bed that was in there. A glance confirmed that his bed was empty, but he had clearly slept in it, as she had convinced him to after he had helped her work through some of the grief she felt over the death of her friends.
Still clad in her black jeans and vest from the night before, but minus her coat, gloves, and shoes, she left his room and went into the bathroom to wash her face.
"Morning!" She greeted Yui as she entered the kitchen.
"Morning Asuka, how are you feeling?" Yui asked from the breakfast bar. Shinji, not to her complete surprise, was cooking breakfast.
"Better, thank you. And thank you Shinji, your presence was a greater comfort than I can put into words."
"You're welcome, now eat," He instructed, passing her a plate with bacon, egg, and sausage on it, "Toast will be ready in a minute, and you should eat before we go."
She frowned at Yui as she chewed on a piece of bacon.
"Go where?" She asked around the food.
"Winhill. Dad's out getting the train tickets. Mum decided that you were right, Rei's ashes should be scattered near to her parent's graves, and she can visit her sister at the same time."
"I see. I'm up for that. Oh, Yui, could I get your opinion on something please?"
"Of course. How can I help?" Her guardian replied, putting her fork down.
Asuka passed her the letter that she had taken from her coat pocket on the way to the kitchen.
"You know that I'm not very good at writing letters. Could you look that over and tell me if it would be acceptable?"
"Of course, I'll take a look now."
Asuka heard the door unlocking, and knew that Gendo had returned:
"We're set," He called as he approached the kitchen, "Oh, morning Asuka."
"Morning. So, are we going to Winhill?"
"Yes. The train leaves at 12:20, and it takes about two hours to get to Winhill. If you wish to shower, or anything, don't waste any time."
It suddenly occurred to Asuka that she hadn't showered for nearly two days, and wondered if Gendo had aimed that comment at her specifically.
Someone poking her in the shoulder jolted her out of her light doze. She looked around, and realised that they were still on the train. Yui was in the seat next to her, and there was no sign of Shinji.
"He went for a walk. He can't sit still for very long, remember?" She held out Asuka's letter, "Are you sure you want my opinion on this?"
"Of course."
To her shock, Yui tore the letter in half, and then tossed it into the nearby bin.
"You're being a fool. You've dedicated nearly six years of your life to that dream of yours, and now that you've achieved it, you want to throw it all away?"
"I'm not sure SeeD is the place for me after all," She confessed, looking out of the window to avoid eye contact with Yui, "After what's happened over the last few days, I feel like I've lost part of myself. I've killed another human being, and that doesn't sit right at all. Not to mention that I've managed to upset and alienate almost every member of the Garden leadership. I'll be surprised if any of them every trust me again."
"And I repeat: you're being a fool. SeeD is clearly willing to give you another chance. You got a temporary suspension, and a demotion. The suspension won't last, and you can earn your former rank back in time."
"Maybe." Asuka reluctantly admitted.
"No, definitely." Yui countered.
"Look at it this way, if you walk away from SeeD and Garden now, what will you do?"
Asuka looked in surprise as the new participant.
"How long have you been listening?"
"I haven't," Shinji admitted, holding out a cup of tea to her, "Mum showed me the letter while you were dozing, and I've been thinking about it for the last half an hour or so."
"I hadn't thought about that," She admitted, "Maybe get a quiet job in a library or something."
She couldn't stop herself from giggling as she realised the irony in her comment: that was exactly the sort of job her parents had wanted her to take, the reason she had rebelled, been disowned, and then joined SeeD.
"My honest advice: stay with SeeD and Garden. You're only 20, so you're still young. Give it another year, two at most, and then if it's not to your liking, then you can leave. I promise that you'll always have a home with us, no matter what you decide."
"Also, I have an idea as to how you can start rebuilding the bridges with Commander Leonhart." Shinji added.
"Oh really? I don't remember you being very good at diplomacy."
"I've learned a few things being a salesman. It's amazing what a little discussion can do to change customer minds."
"So, what do you have in mind?"
Shinji shook his head:
"Oh no, tell me your decision first, and then I'll tell you what I have in mind."
"You're a stubborn man."
"Yeah, well, I guess you had to have some effect on me after living with us for nearly a year."
"As you wish, brother." Asuka slapped her hand over her mouth as both Yui's and Shinji's eyes widened.
"I'm sorry," She lowered her head to the table, "I didn't mean to say that out loud."
She felt a hand on her back:
"Is that really how you think of me?"
"Yep." She sheepishly muttered into the wood.
"Well don't apologise for it then!" He snapped, "I'm flattered actually, I've always wanted a sister."
"Oh no, don't start that discussion again, please!" Gendo's voice called.
Asuka was suddenly feeling relieved that she had used her status as a SeeD to get them into their private compartment upon departure from Deling City. She looked around the headrest of the chair behind hers, and saw Gendo reading a newspaper. He had clearly been there for a while, possibly long enough to have heard the whole conversation.
"Anyway, what's your decision?"
Asuka sighed, and realised that they all had valid points.
"I'll stay with SeeD, for now."
"Good. Now, here's what I have in mind for rebuilding your bridges, and it's surprisingly simple."
After standing a silent vigil over the gravestones of Rei's parents, Yui opened the urn, and scattered a small amount of the ashes on the ground surrounding the stones, before passing the urn to Gendo, who did the same thing. Shinji then scattered an amount, before passing the urn to her. Like the rest of them, Asuka's eyes were wet by the time the urn was passed to her.
"You knew her the best out of all of us, so you should scatter the rest." Yui stated, pulling out another tissue.
Unwilling to speak in case she started crying again, Asuka took the urn from Shinji, and crouched down near the gravestones.
"I hope you're back together again now." She whispered, before giving a small smile, and gently tipping the remaining contents out onto the ground.
As she watched the light breeze pick up some of the ashes, Asuka thought about what Mr Shuuichi had said after telling her that Sonnet had apparently taken her own life. If he was correct, she may see Sonnet again in her lifetime. If he wasn't, then what she and Alicia had done might help someone to find her in the future. Either way, she would get another chance at living for herself, as she deserved to.