Mistakes Chapter 25: Apology, a power rangers fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly

*Italic indicates thought

Chapter Twenty-Five: Apology

A/N: hey guys! So I think quite a few of you have been waiting twenty something chapters for this part. Well here it is. Please, please, please review!

"Hurting someone can be as easy as throwing a stone into a sea, but do you have an idea how deep that stone will go?" -Unknown

Antonio was sitting in his bed in the infirmary room staring at a wall. He heard someone knock at the door, which confused him a little. Lauren had told him they were going to the clearing he'd been held in to look for barriers. To which Antonio had begged her to be careful. "Come in," he said looking at the door.

"Hey," Jayden said. "I...I wanted to talk to you. I know how you feel about being alone with me, but...this might be better if we did it alone."

Antonio nodded, feeling a little better remembering Ji was a shout away.

Jayden shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Uh...How are you?"

"Fine," Antonio said for the tenth time that day. "How's you arm?"

"Its good. Doesn't hurt a lot so..."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Look, Antonio, I'm gonna talk and I would really appreciate it if you would just let me get through it."

Antonio nodded. "What's up?"

Jayden swallowed nervously and walked over to the bed, and dropped to his knees by Antonio's side. "Antonio," he said, looking at the ground. "I'm, so, so, so, so, so, so unbelievably sorry for hitting you. I have regretted it since the moment I did it. I'm begging you to forgive me. I know I don't deserve it though. I don't deserve for you to be my friend again and you are completely justified if you never want to be my friend again.

"I'm begging for your forgiveness, but I can never forgive myself for this. You're my best friend, and I of all people should never betray you like this. You give me nothing but loyalty and kindness. I want you to understand that you did nothing to deserve this. It was completely my fault.

"I know your scared of me, but I hope you can overcome it and get used to being near me, even... Even if we aren't best friends any more. I understand if you're mad at me for what happened, and you have every right to be. I also know I will never be able to make this up to you. I'm really sorry, Antonio."

The gold ranger was so taken aback he didn't say anything for a minute. "Jayden..." He said. The red ranger looked up. "I...I...I can't forgive you. Not...not yet."

Jayden nodded, crestfallen, but knowing it was well deserved. "I understand," he said truthfully.

"Its just..."

"You don't have to explain yourself."

"But I do. You deserve an explanation..."

"Antonio after the pain I caused you I deserve to be thrown down a well."

"No I just... There are some things I need to sort out first. Things I need to..." He really wasn't' sure how to put it.

"Its ok," Jayden said. "You never have to forgive me. Just know I'm sorry, and I will never forgive myself."

Antonio nodded, suddenly to tired to talk. Sensing the gold ranger would say no more Jayden got up and left the infirmary room. Antonio sat there, thinking.

"He really is sorry," Ji said from the doorway.

"I know he is," Antonio said.

"You know how he is," Ji continued walking in. "This kind of thing eats him alive. He's to hard on himself sometimes."

"Think he's too hard on himself this time?"

"Hard to say," Ji said. "It was an accident, and yet Jayden is always good at controlling his emotions."

Antonio nodded. "I know."

Ji smiled. "No one knows Jayden quite like you."

"Yeah," Antonio said. "I want to forgive him, but...there's something I have to come to grips with first."

Ji nodded. "No one will rush you. Just know if you need help sorting this stuff out you have quite a few people who can help you."

"I know," Antonio said. Ji nodded and turned to leave. "Ji," Antonio said. He turned and looked at the gold ranger. "Thanks. For being there I mean. I've delt with a lot of adults who haven't cared as much as you do. So thanks. "

"That's my job," Ji said. "And anytime."

Antonio smiled. He'd never felt more welcomed, loved, or respected than when he was in the Shiba House. He sighed and threw his blankets aside. He had something to do. Something he had been putting off for a while. He walked slowly to his room and went under his bed. He pulled out a carved wooden box, a foot long, six inches wide, and three inches high. He opened it and pulled out a journal about the size of a diary with a shiny gold cover. He put the box back in its hiding place and returned to the infirmary room. He sat on the bed like he'd been there the entire time.

He stared at the journal, knowing full well it's contents, but not wanting to see them. He opened to the first page.

I, Antonio Garcia, am a freak. My clothes don't fit, I'm dirty and I smell like fish. No one likes me and I have no friends. I never will because I am a round peg in a square hole. I don't fit in, and I never will.

The book was filled with these sentences. Written when he was young and alone. I'm not the same person I was. I'm not alone anymore. I have friends, and I would do anything for them, as they would for me. "I'm not weak," he said. "I'm not weak." He repeated it many times, but he knew it was a lie. To prove it once and for all, he had to do the hardest thing of all. Confront his past. He had to go back to the years of pain and isolation. Only then would he be strong.

He sighed. He'd spent years running from his past for a reason. "Be brave he told himself. Be brave."