Just Out of Reach

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl

Chapter 25: A Helping Hand

"I think first though we need to find you a change of clothes," Casey said grabbing Alex by the hand and leading her up the stairs. "Believe me, for what I need help with you don't want to be wearing your thousand dollar suit. Not to mention it's the same outfit you were wearing yesterday."Casey led Alex into their room and then directly into their bathroom. "Here is a fresh towel and wash cloth," she said placing the items on the counter. "I know somewhere around here we have an extra toothbrush and I will get it for you. Feel free to use whatever soap or shampoo you want that is in there. I'm going to go find you your clothes and when you are finished you can find me at the room at the end of the hall."

Alex nodded in thanks, quickly stripping and getting into the shower. The heat felt good after spending the night on the sofa bed. Fifteen minutes later, she was out, a towel around her waist as she dried her hair then brushed her teeth.

Casey quickly made her way into the room that they used as an officer. She opened the closet and made her way to the back of the closet. She opened the box that had been quote unquote hidden there since her and Olivia moved in together. It was a box of clothes that Alex had left at Olivia's apartment and when she moved she packed them in a box. At first when Casey found them she was beyond irate and ready to throw everything Olivia owned out a second story window, then she realized that other than the clothes and maybe a handful of pictures Olivia had nothing to remember her time with Alex. So as pissed as she was she decided to allow Olivia to keep those few memories. As time went on, she realized that Olivia had tossed the box at the back of the closet and never once gave it a second thought. She quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and shirt from the box and took it back in and laid it on the bed. "Alex, the clothes are on the bed. I'm going to leave and shut the door to give you some privacy.'

Alex cracked the door. "Thank you." She walked out into the room. "Hey, I thought I lost these," she said as she pulled them on, pulling her hair back, realizing Olivia must've kept them. She was very surprised Casey hadn't thrown then out. She walked down to the end of the hall.

"So here is what I would like to do today," Casey said looking up smiling when Alex walked in. "Olivia's biggest worry is getting everything done. I was hoping we could work on putting some of these together and just placing them in the center of the room. My parents have hired someone to come in and paint the room and they will be here next week. Would you be up to it or would you prefer not to?"

Alex nodded. "Sure, let's get to work. So can I ask? Are your parents happy?"

"That I'm gay or pregnant?" Casey asked pulling a box open.

"Both."

"At first no. I come from a very catholic family and how dare I go against God. As time moved on, they came around and finally started accepting it. For a while there I got a lecture about how it was wrong and I was going to burn in Hell until they met Olivia. After that they changed. I think they saw how happy and in love I was and decided to stop fighting it. When we called and told them that we were having a baby and then called them to tell them it was twins you would have thought they won the lottery. Mom calls me at least every other day wanting to help or come down."

Alex smiled. "That's really nice. Are you close?"

"We are now," Casey said as she began to try to read the instruction that was in the changing table box. "Once I came out to them we weren't."

Alex sighed. "That's good though."

"I'm looking for part B that is supposed to connect with part D using piece J," Casey said confused as ever. "Were your parents not accepting?"

Alex shook her head. "I've never told anyone this, but my father was so outraged he...tried to force me into being straight. Here's part B."

"Oh god, Alex."

She nodded. "Yeah, and I don't mean by religious practices either. Hmmm, A goes into C, E into G. Yeah, it wasn't fun."

"Alex, did you ever tell anyone?" Casey asked seriously as she placed the pieces she was holding on the ground.

She shook her head. "And admit to the whole town that would've out casted me? No thanks. As it happened, an unrelated incident took him about two years later, but it took me a good 10 to accept it for what it was and move on."

"I'm so sorry," Casey mumbled not really knowing what to say. "What about your mother though?"

"She was...shocked at first, accepted it over time. To be honest, I didn't think she would, but she loved me."

"Thankfully most parents are like that," Casey said as she caught Alex's attention. "You do know you have a family right here that loves you right? Despite what was seen and said earlier this morning."

She nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I do."

"Good now where the hell is part J, so we can get this put together preferably before Olivia comes home for lunch and discover what we are doing?"

Alex turned around, grabbing a wandering piece. "Is this it?"

"I think it is," Casey said taking it from Alex and connecting the pieces like they belonged before reading the instructions some more. "You know men had to write these instructions."

"Of course because they're so much smarter and can do anything women an do, only better!" she said, laughing.

"Yeah I forgot the superior gender," Casey said laughing with Alex. "Because we all know women need a man to survive." Once she had finally composed herself she began trying to interrupt the instructions again. "Why didn't you contact Olivia or anyone from the 16 when you came back from WPP?"

She sighed. "I don't know. It wasn't that I forgot. It just seemed out of place. I seemed out of place."

'You were always their favorite and it hurt them more than they will ever admit to that you didn't come back to them. They felt like you blamed them for what happened and couldn't stand the sight of them. It hurt Olivia and Elliot the worst. Because they were there the night you were shot."

"Why are you telling me what I already know? It's not their fault that happened. If anything, it's mine for being too stubborn. Is this put together right yet?"

"Stop," Casey whispered as she placed a hand over Alex's. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry or upset you. I was trying to understand that is all. Every time I even remotely come close to discussing this with her, she shuts me out sometime for days. I was hoping you could shed some light on it for me that is all. But to answer your question it is put together."

Alex stood, setting it up right, then sat back beside her. "The truth is...it was like time stopped for me and everyone else kept moving forward. My life was screwed while I was in Witness in that way, When I came back for the trial, I knew things would be different. Everyone was different. Yes they were happy I was back, but they weren't the same as when I left. So I told her to move on, forget me...because I didn't know if I would ever be back."

"I wish you would have contacted her when you returned not only for her, but for me. I would have loved to get to know you when I didn't have raging hormones playing havoc on me," Casey said pulling Alex in for a hug. "If you're up to it, there are a few more things to put together, unless you would rather escape. I promise no more serious discussions."

Alex shook her head. "This needs to be done, so let's get it done. It's okay," she said, hugging her. "Let's do this. For them and for Olivia."

Casey reached for the next box when she heard her phone go off. Alex stopped her as she struggled to get to her feet and quickly got her phone and handed it to her. She entered her pass code and smiled when she read the message from Olivia. It was a simple I love you but spoke volumes to her. "I love you too. Please relax and concentrate at work. We will talk when you get home. The girls miss you."

Alex sighed. "What else is there?"

"We have a bookcase to put together, the diaper genie, and the chest of drawers needs to be moved to the middle. The second crib I will save for Liv, that's her thing. I don't ask I just agree. But are you sure you want to continue this?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I do. If we get it all done, we don't have to worry about it."'

'Thanks," Casey said.

For the next two hours they quickly put the items together and had everything in the middle of the room and covered with plastic. They were almost all the way down the stairs laughing when they heard the front door open.

Olivia walked in, smiling as she saw them getting along so well. "Hi," she said, helping Casey down off the last step.

"Hi honey," Casey said as she kissed her cheek before moving on to the couch.

Alex looked at Casey and winked. "I missed you today my love," she said as she place a kiss on her other cheek and headed to the couch where Casey was trying hard not to laugh.

"Ok, who did a role reversal?" she asked with a smile. "The last I knew I was engaged to the sexy redhead, not the pretty blonde," Olivia said as she sat bedside Casey.

"I have no clue what you're talking about.' Casey feigned innocent. "What I saw was Alex saying hi."

Olivia smiled. "Really? I could do it properly, but I think it'd hurt too you much."

"It would be nice for you to tell our guest hello. I mean you have ignored her since you came in," Casey answered taking the bait and glancing at Alex to let her know.

Olivia stood. "All right, but you said so," she said, pulling Alex up and hugging her properly, kissing a line from her neck to her lips, pecking them before sitting her back on the couch.

"I swear, honey, sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do with you," Casey whispered as she laid her head on Olivia's shoulder. "If for one second I had believed any of that you would be dead right now."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, but you didn't say how to greet her so... I went with how I used to after a long day. You know I love you, right?" she said, wrapping an arm around her.

"Considering the greeting I get after a long day, oh I do handsome," Casey said blushing. "We didn't have time to prepare lunch so I hope a sandwich will do?"

"Mhm," she said as she kissed her neck. "As long as you'll stay with me!"

"Behave we have company!" Casey ordered while swatting Olivia away. "Would you like to stay for lunch Alex?"

"Actually, I should probably let you get some sleep and I should go in to see if anyone needs anything."

"Alex," Casey said placing a hand on her arm to stop her from moving. "You are welcomed to stay for lunch. Don't think you have to leave because she came home ok?"

Alex nodded. "Okay. I'll go make the sandwiches. And don't follow me. Just sit with her. I think she's missed you," she said as she got up and entered the kitchen.

"How has desk duty been?' Casey asked as she leaned against Olivia.

She sighed. "Boring, but it's work I suppose. What have you been doing?" she asked, wrapping her arms around her. "Have the girls been behaving?"

"What we have been doing is a surprise and you are not to know yet. For the most part they have been behaving, but I swear these girls will be some of the best kickers in the world."

Olivia smiled, kissing her deeply and rubbing her stomach.

Alex stopped as she started to exit the kitchen seeing them kissing. As quietly as she could, she walked backwards to give them a few more minutes of privacy. As much as it hurt her, she thanked God above that Olivia had found someone who could complete her and calm her in a way that she needed. A blind man could see how well suited they were for each other. She was once told that everything in life happens for a reason. If her being killed was for Olivia to find Casey and true love then she would take that any day of the week. After all, that woman had been through she deserved the world handed to her.

Olivia's hands went to her back, rubbing as she felt her hesitate. She broke it, seeing her lip quivering. "Casey, what's the matter, sweetie? What hurts?"

"Nothing I promise," Casey choked out.

"No, something's wrong. Please, I love you. I want to help."

Casey held Olivia's face with one hand, making sure she was looking her in the eyes. "I promise you nothing is wrong. I love you baby and I swear to you we will talk this evening after dinner ok? Just trust me on this."

Olivia sighed, wiping her eyes. "Okay, but I do love you. What can I do now?"

"Go find out if Alex needs some help. She's been in there a while now."

Olivia sighed, walking out into the kitchen. "I don't get it. What did I do?" Sh-she's...heartbroken and...and I..."

"Calm down and relax Olivia," Alex said walking toward her. "You did nothing wrong and she's not heartbroken. She's emotional right now. She has broken down and just started crying on me at least three times today. Don't think anything of it. When she tells you everything is ok and you will talk this evening believe her."

Olivia nodded. "Need any help?"

"Just grab us some drinks I think I have everything else," Alex said as she walked out of the kitchen to Casey. "You have better talk to her tonight because you have that woman at her wits end, do you understand me?"

"I will, I promise, Alex, I promise."

Olivia walked out, setting the drinks on the coffee table as she sat between them.

"I love you baby. Everything is ok," Casey whispered in Olivia's ear. "I need you to relax for me. Just because I cry doesn't mean you did something wrong. Unless you have something to confess."

Olivia nodded, biting into her sandwich. "No, I don't."

"Home by five thirty still?' Casey asked as she struggled to her feet.

Olivia stood with her. "Yes. I love you too."

"I know honey. Again, I promise you we will talk tonight."

Olivia nodded, walking out the door.

"Hey Liv, wait up!" Alex called out stopping Olivia in her tracks, "Can I catch a ride with you to the office, please?"

Olivia turned. "Yeah, come on."

"Thanks." She said as she turned toward Casey. "I really had fun today thank you. If you need anything else please call. I would love to be able to help you and Olivia as much as I can."

"Thank you Alex," Casey said hugging her quickly. "Try to keep this one out of trouble if you can."

Olivia walked to her car, waiting for Alex. She knew the rest of the day would go by slow, but hopefully much more wouldn't need to be done.

"If you're so worried about it, see if Cragen will let you have the rest of the day off?" Alex finally said breaking the tense silence in the car.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. But there's really no excuse..."

"Excuse for what?"

"Me leaving early."

"Then for the love of your two children relax. Your wife was smiling and glowing when you left that should tell you that everything is ok. Stop thinking if she has a bad day or is upset it's your fault. She started crying at the little bear on a fabric softener commercial this morning, so I promise you the emotional roller coaster is not your fault."

She smiled, laughing. "I like that bear!"

"It makes her sad, so I wouldn't bring it up if I were you," Alex said as she opened the door. "I promise you Olivia everything is fine, but she does need to talk to you and you need to listen I mean really listen ok?"

She smiled. "Okay."

The rest of the day passed sluggishly, but Casey remained on the back of her mind, though writing papers didn't require much brain power. She walked into the house as about 5, seeing Casey fast asleep on the couch. She kissed her softly.

"Mmh did you get off early?" Casey mumbled in her sleep as she ran her fingers through Olivia's hair.

Olivia sat beside her, pulling her into her arms. "Yes I did. Think you can wake up to talk?"

"Damn it. I wanted to have dinner sitting on the table ready for you," Casey said as she became more awake.

"It's okay. I'm just glad to be home."

"I'm glad your home too, baby," Casey said turning so she could look at Olivia. "You want to hear what I have to say before eating, don't you?"

"..Could I? You've been on my mind all afternoon."

"Olivia, I love you with all my heart you know that and I know you love me as well but…" Casey began and then looked to Olivia for the confidence to continue.

Olivia nodded, stroking her cheek and running a hand up into her hair. "With everything I have, sweetie."

"Lately, since I've put on the weight, I haven't felt very attractive or desirable," she said as tears started to fall from her eyes. "We use to have a very healthy sex life and now we don't. I'm so worn out that all I want to do is sleep. What if one day you decided to you know see someone on the side? I can't be mad at you I'm the one to blame. It doesn't help much that one minute I'm on cloud nine and the next I feel like someone killed my puppy."

"Casey...come here," she said, pulling her close. "You're so attractive and so sexy. You always will be. Tell me what I can do. I'll do anything."

"That's why I flipped on Alex this morning. I know you don't love her or want her in that fashion even with the show you put on this afternoon. But seeing her here when I woke up and how I've been feeling it sent me over the edge. I did apologize to her later though."

Olivia nodded. "I don't blame you for that. It's okay."

"I started crying this afternoon because of the amount of love I felt and saw all over your face when you kissed me. It was just over powering for me. Especially in how I've been feeling lately."

Olivia held her tighter, kissing her passionately, her hands roaming her back. "Casey..." she moaned, laying her on the couch.

"Please forgive me," Casey said as she ran her fingers through her hair

"You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. I know these changes are foreign to you. Let me take you upstairs, to a more comfortable surface. Please?" she nuzzled her neck. "I love you."

Casey sighed as she nodded yes. She needed to feel the closeness of Olivia be held in her arms. Have that feeling of safety and security surround her like it always did in her arms.

Author's Note: So what do you think?

Reviews: Kikilia14, tummer22 & ladybugsmomma

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Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl