Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your feedback. I can't tell you what it means to me to have so many people enjoying this story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Elliot leans against the wall outside of Cody's office. He can hear him speaking on the phone and even though his friend has waved him in, Elliot doesn't want to disturb him.
"Stabler!" Cody calls out. Elliot shifts his coat on his arm as he steps inside. "How the hell are you?" he asks and Cody laughs as he stands up.
"We're doing a lot better now, thank God. We passed strep throat around for a good two weeks. First the boys had it, then I got it, and I gave it to Meg. I thought she was gonna kill me," Cody says, grinning.
"Everybody's all right now?" Elliot asks. He remembers how difficult it can be, caring for little ones while you're under the weather yourself.
"Yeah, we're all in the clear," Cody tells him, grabbing his own coat. "I'm heading to pick up the little guys, but I wanted to ask you something. You don't have Eli this weekend, do you?"
Elliot shakes his head, "No."
"Aw," Cody says in disappointed, "The boys have a basketball camp for a couple hours on Saturday morning and they wanted me to ask you if Eli was gonna be around."
Elliot feels his chest ache at the thought of what Eli is missing out on and what he is missing out on with his son. He can feel Cody's eyes on his face and Elliot is sure his friend knows exactly what he is thinking.
"Listen, how about you and Olivia come around for dinner Saturday night? We'll do pizza and hang out. The hockey game is on and we'll get to meet Olivia." Cody holds the door for him as they make their way out into the parking lot. "You don't have to decide now. Talk to your girl and let me know."
Elliot nods. "I'll talk to Liv, but I'm pretty sure we'll be there. You have to let us pay for dinner. We'll pick up the pizza and bring it over."
Cody grins, "All right by me, as long as you bring Heidi."
"You got it," Elliot says, laughing as he opens his car door. "Go get your boys. See you later."
Cody waves in acknowledgement before he climbs into his own car and starts the engine.
Elliot sits back against the front seat and studies the changing colors of the February sky. Every day the light lasts a little bit longer and it reminds him of hope and warmth and spring. Summer. July.
Olivia will be finished with the job in July. Four months that will feel like an eternity if he lets them. She has been working from home, turning the kitchen table into command central for one of her cases. How in God's name she convinced one of the guys to send her a box of her files, he will never know. If he has to bet money on it, he would guess that Fin has been her accomplice.
He hears the sound of his phone ringing from inside his coat pocket and he reaches across the seat to grab it. Speaking of the devil...
"Hey Capt," Elliot says, swiping his thumb across his phone.
"Elliot," Don greets him. "How are you?"
He chews on his bottom lip for a moment because he knows enough about his former captain to be sure that this is not a social call. "We're good, Capt. What's going on?"
Cragen pauses for a moment before he speaks again.
"Elliot listen, I know I'm probably not the person you want to hear from right now. I know you don't want to talk about this, about Olivia coming back here, but I wanted to run something past you."
Elliot swallows hard and nods into the growing darkness inside the car. "Yeah," he rasps in acknowledgement and he wonders when he became such a wide open book for everyone to read.
"There's a family here in New York that I've become acquainted with. John and Holly Brenner. Good people, Elliot. They have a beautiful baby girl. They're from West Orange, New Jersey and they were in Glen Cove on December 30th, celebrating the holidays with their family. Holly was the driver of the car that Olivia swerved to miss the night of the accident."
Elliot exhales slowly, trying to hold onto his breath for as long as he can. He remembers. He hadn't known her name, but he remembers the woman. He recalls her dark hair, her frightened eyes. He remembers the cries of the infant in the back seat and how Kathleen knelt on the frozen ground and held Holly's hand.
"Holly has been calling the precinct every week since the accident, asking about you and Olivia. She wants to know that you're both all right."
He closes his eyes and presses his head back against the seat. "Did you tell her Liv is fine?" He asks, his voice taking on a brisker tone than he intends.
"I have," Don says slowly, "I've told her that Liv is doing well and she's coming back. Holly would like to meet with Olivia when she-"
He is already shaking his head before Cragen has even finished the sentence. "No," Elliot interrupts, "No way. I don't want anybody going at her without me there."
"No one is going at her, Elliot. I want you to put yourself in Holly Brenner's shoes. All she wants is five minutes of Olivia's time, just to see for herself. She blames herself for something that she had no control over. You and I both know how difficult it is to live with that reality," Cragen's voice softens and Elliot marvels at this man's unending patience with him. Don seems to know that he can't speak and so he continues.
"I know you're worried about her coming back here. I know how you are with each other and protective you are of her. I'm not gonna saddle her with desk duty just because she gave me her resignation, but you're not sending her back into a war zone, either. I don't want you to forget that you're not the only person in this world with her best interests at heart," he finishes earnestly.
Elliot takes a deep breath and lets himself listen, truly listen to Don's words. "Capt," he says, his voice is too low. "Thank you."
He can almost hear Don's smile through the phone. "I know you think you're the only one who can take care of her, but we've got her covered. We're all anxious to have her back, but we know where she belongs. Try not to worry too much."
Elliot feels the corner of his mouth lift. "I'll talk to her, Capt," he promises, "I'm sure she'll call you."
"Sounds good. You two take care," Cragen says and he hangs up before Elliot can say another word.
Heidi skitters around his feet as he makes his way into the house. "Hi baby," he greets her. Her tail thumps against his shin and his black dress pants are quickly becoming covered in her light fur.
From where he stands, slipping off his shoes, Elliot can see Olivia sitting at the kitchen table. Her reading glasses are perched on the top of her head and she is absently pursing her lips as she studies a document in her hand. She is wearing one of his flannel shirts over her t-shirt and the sight makes him grin.
"Hey Handsome," Olivia says, glancing up at him.
"Hey," he replies, moving toward her and kissing the top of her head. Olivia reaches for his hand as he sits down beside her. "I'll be finished here in one second," she says.
"Oh yeah?" He asks, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. "Yeah," she replies with a smile.
He watches her as she reads, the way she furrows her brow and fiddles with her pencil. He wonders just how many hours he has spent looking up from his own paperwork across the chasm of their desks to see this very sight.
Olivia takes a breath and looks at him. "Capt called," he tells her, giving her half a smile.
"He did?" She asks, tilting her head in confusion, "He calls me everyday to check in."
Elliot nods, "Yeah. He could save some money if he just called us here and we put him on speaker." His attempt at levity works and Olivia smiles.
"Is he okay?" She asks.
"Yeah." He nods again, clearing his throat, "Wanted me to run something by you." He needs a minute to try and figure out how to word this. Olivia brushes her fingertips across his palm.
"There's a woman Cragen's gotten to know. Her name is Holly Brenner. She and her husband and her daughter live in Jersey." He wants to give her this background, paint this picture for her. Elliot holds onto her hand as he looks up at her. "The night of the accident she was driving the car that you swerved to avoid."
"Oh," Olivia gives a soft sound of relief, "I've been wondering about her."
"You have?" He asks incredulously and she nods. "I wanted to make sure she was all right," she replies.
Elliot exhales roughly and his vision is blurring before he can look away. Olivia is disarmingly honest with her answer and she takes his breath away because all at once he understands his own emotion behind his basic need to protect her. He has been angry. He knows it was an accident and it could have happened to anyone, himself included. He is certain that his feelings are irrational and misplaced, but the thought that someone's actions could have lead to him losing her isn't something he has come to terms with yet.
Olivia always puts herself in the place of the other first. He is in love with a woman who bleeds empathy. She stuns him, humbles him, and teaches him with everything she does.
"El," Olivia whispers his name in surprise, "What's wrong?" She presses her hand to his knee.
He clenches his jaw and swallows hard before he looks up at her. "How do you do that?" His voice is too low.
"Do what?" She asks.
Elliot meets her dark eyes before he leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs before her.
"How do you always see things from the other person's perspective? You were thinking of her, how she might be feeling. You put yourself in her place. I never would have done that without you or Cragen telling me to, 'cause my focus has been on you."
"El," she breathes and he shakes his head. "I've been angry with her. I didn't even know who she was, but I was angry."
He feels Olivia's fingertips against his shoulder, but mercifully she doesn't speak."I dunno if that makes me selfish or what. I know it wasn't right, but I love you and I almost lost you and I think I was looking for somewhere to put the blame."
"It isn't anyone's fault, El. It was an accident," she reminds him gently.
"I know," he says earnestly, nodding his head and this time he means it. She helps him to understand and whether he wants to admit it or not, she is always right. She is also right for him in every possible way. Olivia soothes him, she absolves him for everything he can't be and loves him for all that he is.
"I love you," she whispers, breathing life into what he will never take for granted. "I love you," he replies, standing up and bringing her with him so that she can slip into his arms. He holds her for long enough that she starts to sink against him. She burrows into his neck and her bangs tickle his skin.
"Oh," Olivia whispers suddenly as a thought seems to occur to her. "Before I forget, there's something wrong with the garbage disposal," she tells him, her fingers undoing the loosened knot of his tie.
"What?" Elliot laughs, holding onto her waist. Her words are so perfect, so domestic. She sounds so much like his wife in this moment that she makes him laugh and the sound spurs Olivia's joy.
"I don't know what happened," she says, shrugging through her laughter. Elliot kisses her then, stifling her giggles against his mouth.
"You sound like Eli," he quips affectionately, letting go of her waist and pulling his tie from around his neck. "Let me get changed and I'll take a look at it."
He can feel Olivia's gaze on him as he steps away and when he turns to look at her he can tell that she is trying not to smile. "You need any help?" She asks casually, as though she thinks he could ever turn her down. "From you?" He asks, reaching for her hand. "Always."
Elliot lays flat on his back beneath the sink. Olivia kneels to his left and Heidi is resting her head against his denim-clad right thigh. "Can you hand me the screwdriver?" He asks, reaching blindly toward Olivia.
"Phillips or flat-head?" She inquires.
"Phillips," he answers, "But I'll take both." She slips the tools into his hand and sits down on the floor. "What if I get a flashlight?" She asks him and Elliot lets his head drop back against the cabinet floor. The woman is brilliant.
"You're a genius," he tells her and Olivia laughs, pressing her hand against his chest as she moves to stand up.
"Cabinet above your head to the left, Liv," he calls. He hears Heidi following Olivia's movements throughout the kitchen.
"Got it," she replies, moving to her hands and knees and ducking her head to crawl into the space beside him. Olivia props herself up on her elbow and shines the flashlight beam up toward the pipe that he has been working to loosen. "What would you do without me?" She teases gently and Elliot leans up to kiss her, tangling his fingers in her ponytail.
By the grace of God, he has never had to find out.
He settles himself back against the floor and uses both hands to unscrew the bolts. Olivia reaches with her left hand to help hold the pipe he is working on. "Hey," he says softly, "Just remembered. You busy Saturday night?"
"You want to take me on a date?" She asks, fluttering her eyelashes to make him laugh. "Something like that," he says, searching her face. "Cody and Meg invited us over for pizza. They wanna meet you."
Olivia's eyes are wide as she smiles. "I'd love that," she replies, nodding.
"Really?" Elliot asks, leaning up without thinking and bumping his temple against the cabinet.
"Ow," he grimaces, laughing as he lays back down. "Oh, poor baby," Olivia laughs. "Are you okay?" She fights to keep a straight face as she slips her left leg over both of his bent knees and settles against him intimately.
"Liv," he drawls through his laughter, holding onto her waist as she kisses his temple. "Yes?" She answers lightly, feigning innocence.
Above him, she is all bright eyes and wavy hair and she is sexy as hell. She buries in against his shoulder, kissing his neck and he can't stop laughing. It hasn't been an hour since they've been upstairs in bed, but he wants her again. Right now. His jeans are becoming uncomfortable and he knows his back is going to make him pay for this in the morning, but he doesn't care. To hell with everything in the entire world except for Olivia. For her fingers tracing the cotton of his t-shirt, for the weight of her perfect body resting against him, the softness of her breasts pressing into his chest. She gives a quiet breath that warms the crevice between his neck and his shoulder.
"Love you," Elliot rumbles. He can't kiss her from his position beneath her so he slips his hands under the light sweatshirt that she wears, running his palms reverently over her bare skin. "Do we really get to do this forever?" Olivia whispers and the sound of her voice makes his eyes fill.
He is glad that she is tucked securely against him because he needs this moment. Forever. Forever. He understands her need to ask the question, the breathy cadence of her voice, because they've spent their lives risking so much. They have spent so many years immersed in the fragility and the volatility of life that there are times when all of this, this being together so simply, feels terrifying extravagant.
"Yes," he answers easily, nodding against the top of her head with all the conviction in the world. He wants her to know that this is their reality, their life now. The monsters are dying, the bad dreams fading with the morning light. Now they get to be just like everybody else; simply, honestly, truly, together.
"I'm so in love with you. You gotta know," he whispers, rubbing the soft skin of her back. He feels Olivia's nod against his shoulder.
"Me too," she whispers, pressing the lightest kisses to his jaw, his cheek, his neck. He can feel her eyelashes brushing against his skin and he just holds her. He wants to hold her like this for the rest of their lives.
The sound of his cell phone ringing meets his ears and Olivia kisses him swiftly before she moves away from him. Elliot lays still for a moment, closing his eyes against the ache of the want he constantly feels for her. He hears her voice above the sound of the phone's ring. "El," she starts.
"You can answer it, hon," he replies. He doesn't have any problem with her answering his phone. She knows every single one of his secrets. "No El," Olivia says again and he can hear the hesitation in her voice. "It's Kathy," she elaborates and he finally understands.
"Oh, it's okay. I'm coming," he tells her, slowly moving out from underneath the sink and grasping the counter to help him to stand. Elliot ignores the stiff way Olivia is holding herself as he reaches for the phone in her hand.
"Hey Kath," he says, answering on the final ring.
"Hi El," Kathy replies and in the background behind her, he can hear the Scooby-Doo theme song coming from the TV and it makes him smile. Olivia moves to take a step around him and he reaches out to grasp her arm. When her dark eyes meet his gaze he sees more than twelve years of trepidation. While her first instinct is to distance herself, his is to reach for her. Ever so gently, he tugs her toward him until she settles against him. He rubs her back until she lets her shoulders fall and exhales a breath she didn't realize she was holding.
Elliot knows what this is and won't let the fear have either of them. "Shh," he whispers into her hair so that only she can hear. He kisses the top of Olivia's head as she slips her arms around him and rests her cheek against his shoulder. He holds the phone to his ear with his left hand and Olivia with his right.
"How are you, Kath?" He asks, "What's going on?"
"I'm good, El. I know Eli chatted your ear off last night, but I didn't get to talk to you. The girls had a lot of fun when they were with you guys last month," Kathy says. Elliot smiles and nods against the top of Olivia's head. "Yeah, we loved having them," he tells her.
"How's Liv doing?" She asks tentatively and the sound of her voice causes Olivia to draw back and look up at him. She nods and motions toward the phone. He searches her dark eyes for a moment before he speaks again. "Liv's right here, Kath. I'm gonna put you on speaker, okay?"
"Sure," Kathy replies and Olivia nods again in reassurance.
Elliot sets the phone down onto the counter top and presses his lips to the top of her head. "Hi Kath," Olivia greets his ex-wife and he can hear Kathy's smile when she speaks. "Hi Liv, how are you?"
"I'm good. I'm doing well. Thank you for asking."
"Absolutely," Kathy replies earnestly. "We were really worried about you for a little while." She pauses for a moment before she speaks again. "I was telling Elliot that Lizzie and Kathleen had a lot of fun with you guys."
Olivia gives a soft laugh, "They're amazing," she says and Kathy laughs gratefully in return.
"I wanted to talk to you both about something. El, do you remember my friend, Susan?"
Elliot wracks his brain and settles on a memory. "She's the author, right?"
"Yes," Kathy answers. "She's releasing a new book next week and she's having a get together this Saturday in D.C. She invited me and I would really like to go so it got me thinking."
Elliot's mind is reeling too quickly and he has to slow himself down. He has to stay in the present, to hear Kathy out. If she is saying what he thinks she is saying...
"I don't know what you plans are and I don't want to mix anything up for you guys, but I wanted to ask if you'd like to take Eli for the weekend?"
Elliot closes his eyes and he feels the warm press of Olivia's palm rubbing his back. She is now soothing him. His son. He gets to spend the weekend with Olivia and his son. He gets to watch the world through those big blue five year old eyes and he has the chance to watch Eli interact with Olivia.
"We'd love that," Olivia answers quickly because she knows that he can't speak.
"Oh fantastic!" Kathy says and she sounds surprised as though she was unsure of what to expect. "Okay," she says, "Um...how about I drop him off at work with you on Friday afternoon, El?"
Elliot swallows hard and works to find his voice. "Yeah, Kath. That'll be great. Thank you."
Kathy laughs softly. "Thank you, guys. If he weren't down for the count on the couch right now, I'd have him talk to you. But I'll tell him in the morning and I'm sure he'll call you, El. He'll be so excited."
Olivia stifles her laughter into his shoulder and he knows she finds it amusing as all get out that his son falls asleep in front of the TV the same way that he does.
"Thanks Kath. I'll talk to you soon," he says, hanging up the phone and onto Olivia.
He tosses the last of the wet laundry from the washer into the dryer before he turns to see Olivia.
She is leaning up against the door frame and in her hands she holds the memo pad that usually rests on the kitchen counter. "When Eli comes, what do we need to have on hand from the grocery store?" She asks, absently tapping her pen against her hand.
"Good thinking," Elliot says, pressing his palm to her waist as he moves past her and toward the pantry. He surveys the inventory inside the cabinets.
"I already have the Yoda waffles down," she informs him and he grins at her over his shoulder. "Okay. Let's say...peanut butter, but it's gotta be crunchy...Jelly."
"Any specific kind?"
"Yeah. Strawberry, but without the seeds," he replies. Olivia nods, taking down notes.
"I have to check on the dinosaur chicken nugget situation in the freezer, but other than that it's just our usual," he tells her as she moves with him toward the door to the basement.
"Sounds good," Olivia says, tearing off the sheet of note paper. Heidi follows him down into the basement and toward the freezer. His dog sits at his feet and waits patiently for a snack of ice cubes from the frozen tray.
"Yeah, Liv. Add the T-Rex to the list," he calls from the bottom of the stairs. "Okay," she replies and he can hear the sound of her soft laughter. He checks on the detergent and the bottled water before he and Heidi make their way back up the stairs.
"Liv, we could use some more-" Elliot stops speaking when Olivia steps into the kitchen from the mudroom with her coat in her arms and her purse slung over her shoulder.
"Where you going?" He asks softly, praying that the sudden sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach is for nothing.
Olivia glances up at him as she sorts through her purse. "I'm going to run down to the store tonight, so that you don't have to do it tomorrow."
Elliot holds himself still in the middle of the living room. "Don't worry 'bout it, Liv. It's on my way home," he tells her, trying to keep his voice level.
"I know," she says gently, "But I want to take care of it tonight."
He swallows hard and slips his hands into his pockets to prevent them from shaking. "It's seven-thirty," he says slowly. He is trying to use it as an appeal to her rational side, but he realizes too late how ridiculous he sounds.
Olivia looks up at the digital clock above the stove and nods, tucking her cell phone into her purse. "That's good," she replies absently, "It's still early. I'll be back in an hour or so."
Elliot watches her as she slips her arms into her parka and brushes her bangs away from her eyes. He can't help the way his stomach rolls and the feeling pushes him to speak again. "Liv," he says her name and when she looks over at him she reads his expression and her eyes are wide.
"Are you okay?" She asks, moving toward him and touching his forearm. He can't breathe let alone speak and he doesn't know how to tell her.
"Please don't do this," he manages, shaking his head.
"El, what's-" she starts.
"You don't have to do this tonight. Let me come with you," he says, moving to step around her, but Olivia presses her hands to his chest. "Elliot," she says, "Look at me."
She asks for the one thing he can not do because if he looks at her now everything will come flooding back.
"I have to do this on my own," she elaborates, choosing her words carefully as her eyes search his face.
Elliot worries his lip until he tastes blood and he tries to think. Olivia has driven plenty of times since the doctors cleared her, but always in daylight and always by his side. He knows that he is being completely irrational and he is angry with himself for it, but what she is doing tonight is unnecessary. How can she take such a risk so soon after-?
"El." Olivia tries again and this time she reads his mind. "It's been more than a month," she reasons.
He looks at her then and all at once he is angry. He is angry because of all the things that he can't control. He is angry because she is expecting him to forget something that is etched into his memory for the rest of his life. He knows it will fade with time, but he can't erase the moments seared into his consciousness.
"You want me to try to forget?" He asks shortly, stepping around her and moving toward the kitchen. "Gonna take a hell of a lot longer than a month."
"Elliot," she says, turning toward him with a hint of exasperation in her voice. "I'm here and I'm fine. That's what you have to focus on."
"I am focusing on that. You're here and you're fine," he repeats her words, "No reason for you to do something like drive to the supermarket tonight to prove that you're okay."
"I'm not trying to prove anything," Olivia shoots back, shaking her head.
"You wanna try that again and mean it?" Elliot asks and she glares at him, but remains silent so he continues to speak. He knows her. She forgets that he knows her. He forces himself to take a breath then and he is grasping, reaching, trying to reason with her. "You don't have to do this."
"I know I don't, but I want to," she says, zipping her coat and searching her pockets for her gloves. She isn't paying attention, she isn't listening to him and he is becoming more frantic by the second. He knows he should calm the fuck down, but he can't let her walk out that door. It's ridiculous, it's unnecessary, and it's her. He shakes his head because he has to make her understand what is going through his mind.
"We've got one vehicle, Liv. The truck. What if something happens to you? How the hell am I supposed to-"
"The paramedics will call you," she interrupts breezily as though she is talking about something simplistic like the weather.
"Olivia," he rasps. His voice is half-surprised and half-battered.
"Nothing is going to happen to me, Elliot." She says it with a certainty that grates on him as she grasps the back of one of the kitchen chairs.
"You can't know that!" He fires back, bracing his hands on the counter top.
"Neither can you!" Olivia reasons heatedly, "You're not God, El. You can't protect me from everything."
Her words sting with truth that he doesn't want to acknowledge, so he ignores her completely and continues to speak. "Put yourself in my place for a minute. It's dark and fucking freezing and you're driving with your two kids in the car. You come upon a wreck and I'm unconscious inside. What do you do?"
Olivia shakes her head and steps back from the table. "I don't want to hear this!" she says, holding up her hands in front of her as if she might ward off the images that his words conjure.
"Then you can't tell me to let just it go, damn it! You weren't there, Liv. You don't know!" Elliot presses, turning away from her toward the window. The sky is black and all he can see is his reflection in the glass.
"That's not fair and you know it," Olivia retorts hotly. "I have to start to do things on my own again. This isn't going to get any easier and I can't keep sitting here waiting for my life to start again."
He reels around at her words. "What the hell's that supposed to mean? You've been on pause? What's gonna happen when you press start?" He asks furiously. He is afraid of what he is hearing, afraid of her answer. He knows this is a dangerous combination. A fatal cocktail, fear and anger mix together and conspire to wreak havoc on anything held dear.
"I don't know!" Olivia cries, "That's why I have to do this. It's a first step to getting myself back on my feet, by myself."
"Why do you always think you have to be by yourself?" He asks. Sometimes she exhausts him with her need for independence. He can't understand why she doesn't want to stay right here. Maybe he isn't enough for her, maybe this isn't what she wants...
"Because for the vast majority of my life, I've been on my own," she replies fiercely. She is explaining this to him as though he is some stranger, as though he hasn't been there for so many of those moments.
"But you're not anymore," he pushes. He continues to fight because he is trying to get her to comprehend what he can see so clearly. "I want the rest of my life with you, Olivia. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"It does!" She cries, "Of course it does, but for the time being I'm going to be alone." Elliot shakes his head and focuses on the floor beneath his feet.
"I have to go back to work," Olivia reasons and he knows she doesn't miss the way he flinches as though she has slapped him.
"Soon," she presses on angrily. "No matter how much I want to start a life with you, no matter how much I want to marry you, I have to do this first. I have to go back to work and you can't protect me in New York. You can't come drive me around Manhattan just because you're afraid of losing me!"
There it is. She breaks him. She has to know that she is the only person in the world with this power and the knife she is wielding has a razor sharp blade of truth. Elliot is surprised that he isn't bleeding on the outside, given the invisible searing wound to his chest.
He looks up at her one last time and he can't tell whether her eyes are full or his are brimming.
"I know the way that you are with me because I'm the same way with you. I wish this never would have happened. I wish you never would have been there at the accident," she says, her voice is deathly quiet.
He turns unsteadily away from her because he can't listen anymore. When she talks like this, he knows she will incinerate him from the inside out. "What was I supposed to do? Let you die?" He asks, sarcastically.
Their words no longer hold any meaning, they are chaotic and haphazard and bruising. They are both fighting for vastly different things or maybe it's all the same, he isn't sure anymore. All he knows is that she is going to leave. Whether it be for an hour or for a year, it will all feel the same. She is going to walk out the door and there isn't anything he can say or do that will change her mind.
"You didn't know it was me in the car," Olivia says furiously, whisking his keys off the table with a loud clatter. She plunges onward recklessly and Elliot doesn't have time to brace himself before her final onslaught. "But if it would have been easier on you, then yes! No one asked you to rescue anyone!"
Her words hit him like the most brutal punch. The garage door closes with a harsh snap and then she is gone. Olivia is gone. There isn't any air left in his lungs and his legs give out as he sinks down onto his knees once more, praying for a redemption song merciful enough to save them both.