Have you ever felt your heart soar but somehow drop at the same time? That's how I felt as I gripped my phone tightly in my hand. A million thoughts ran through my head as I read the text over and over. I managed to get myself together enough to send a text back asking when and where before I sat back on the couch, pressing my fingers to my eyes and sighing. It was mere seconds before I started questioning myself. What would I even do if we went back to being friends? It'd been so long, I wasn't even sure I was someone he would like anymore. And he couldn't really come to my home, so would I just come back to La Push? The thought made me shudder. Though, as far as I knew, the Cullen's didn't even live in Forks anymore.

My phone pinged and I read over the message.

Old house. When you're ready.

I felt my eyes fill with tears. He was being so short with me. I tossed my phone down between my feet and let the tears wet my cheeks. We'd never be friends, of course, why would I think I could be forgiven for what I'd done? I leaned back on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping the blanket around myself. I sniffled quietly, trying to pull myself together.

I supposed that I at least owed him the opportunity to tell me how he felt, an opportunity I failed to offer him before. I wiped my face off and grabbed my phone.

I'm ready now.

I put my face in my hands and groaned. It was four in the morning and this was shaping up to be nothing but a mistake.

I was in the bathroom fixing my hair, trying to make myself look like less of a mess. I had decided I should do my makeup, but my hands were shaking. I threw the eyeliner back in my bag and wet some toilet paper to wipe it off. There was no point in looking pretty to hear about how much of a horrible person you are and I'd already wasted ten minutes. I just needed to go.

I left a note for Seth on the bathroom mirror and left the house quietly.

I kept the radio off on my drive, my nerves growing the closer I got. I pulled into the driveway, the house was dark except for one light upstairs. My old bedroom, I realized, feeling a pang in my chest. I took deep breaths as I stepped out of the car, my palms sweating.

I walked slowly through the yard, thankful that it was a slightly chilly night. I felt my nails digging into my palm as I reached the steps, my feet like stones as I forced myself to the door.

The door swung open before I touched it, causing me to pull back and gasp quietly.

There he was, I swallowed thickly as I held my breath. I felt tears threatening to rise and forced them away. He looked exactly the same, not that he was capable of change, but that wasn't something that mattered to my brain right now. A million things ran through my head, things he said, things we did together. My chest burned, I realized I still wasn't breathing.

"Hello," He spoke, his voice soft and polite, I'd forgotten his voice over the years and it threatened to undo me all over again. I started to wonder how I'd be able to get through any of this. Maybe I should turn back now, forget it all.

"Hey," I breathed out, forcing the thoughts of fleeing out of my head as he waved me inside.