A/N; XD I can't even begin to express my gratitude this time around. It turns out people have returned to this fic (as you will know, if you're reading this now), and for that I really am thankful, and overjoyed too! So thankyou for all the reviews and kind words of encouragement; I no longer have any plans of simply abandoning this fic, and for that I have you guys to thank.

So thanks. XD

Disclaimer; apparently this is where I'm supposed to claim that none of this mine etc etc etc, but really I don't see the point. I mean, the plot is technically mine, and no one could sue me even if they really wanted to (do you really think I have that kind of money?). And if anyone actually thinks that I could possibly own the rights to the book or characters, they really don't belong in this fandom.

Warnings; um…swearing? Yaoi, obviously, though it's more shonen-ai at the moment (no lemon…yet XD). Um…well, you'll get the idea as you read.

Note; It was brought to my attention, thankfully, that the last chapter needs a bit of editing, and to be honest this one probably does too. I will get round to it at some point, but not just at the moment; just to keep you in the loop.Also; I am aware that there are several lose ends which need to be tied up, originating in the first few chapters of the fic; don't worry, I do actually have a vague sort of plan, and will be sorting it all out in due course. I hope.

Enjoy!

DmHp

Fred reached out and adjusted his brothers top hat, letting George smooth the collar of his starched white shirt for him. They shared a quick grin of delight, before turning to face the audience and using their wands to draw back the curtains.

DmHp

A gentle rhythm began to play as the curtains were pulled open, the stage shrouded in darkness in spite of this fact. The students watched, enthralled, as the two unmoving figures stood posing in the centre of the stage, back to back. One twin - for there were no doubts as to who the two were - had his right leg bent and a cane held out at arms length in his left hand, his right arm bent at the elbow and lightly gripping the top hat that rested upon his head; his brother mirrored the position using opposite limbs.

The light-hearted piano tune (which could perhaps be likened to the type of track an entertainer would speak over in the 20th century, think the track 'Roxie' in Chicago, if you've seen it) stayed at a steady volume as the students chatter finally dwindled out, those facing away from the stage turning around in their chairs to get a better view of the action.

A spotlight fell over the twins, allowing the audience to see their rather old-fashioned muggle attire; each twin wore a starched white shirt, with a black dinner jacket and smart black trousers, a white bow tie around their necks and a black velvet top hat positioned at an angle on their heads. Each one held a sleek black cane with a rouge top, and their smart black shoes had been buffed for the occasion.

Harry shared an amused smile with his mate, gripping his hand lightly under the table in anticipation; he couldn't be sure what to expect, but he knew it was going to be unforgettably fantastic.

DmHp

Fred couldn't help but grin at the tension filled silence that had descended upon the hall, and could feel the slight shake of his brother's shoulders that told him he too was struggling to contain his amusement.

The minor chord that acted as their cue sounded, and Fred began to tap his foot in time to the music, the metal plate attached to the balls of his feet creating a rap upon the polished wood that had been charmed to amplify the sound of their steps.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, - pause - tap, tap, tap, tap - pause - tap.

The rhythm was repeated four times before the twins moved in unison, tilting their faces towards the audience and tipping their hats to the watching students with a saucy wink that elicited the delighted gaps they had hoped for as light mutters began to spread through the students.

Fred stepped away first, doing a little spin before walking forward, tapping his cane to the beat as he went. George followed him, mimicking the spin and swagger, his own cane tapping in unison with his brothers. The metal clinks resounded about the hall, and their smiles were now unmistakable, their joy at being able to perform evident in every perfectly executed move.

Climbing down the single step that separated the main stage from the cat walk, Fred did a supposedly complicated side-step spin, effectively switching places with his brother who had just stepped down, now on the left side of the stage. The brothers walked in unison until they were about half way down the catwalk, their canes still clicking away beside them, before coming to a standstill with both hands holding the cane out in front of them, tilted forwards, legs slightly apart.

It wasn't hard to keep their moves in time, and so the twins were able to raise their right arms and remove their top hats, rolling them down their arms without too much difficulty, allowing them to rest over their canes, which, when they removed their other hands, stayed upright.

A light scatter of applause broke out, though people seemed to be skeptical as to the nature of this 'entertainment'. The twins smiled reassuringly, their un-kept hair now falling free around their faces, and moved to stand in front of their canes.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Fred began, the volume his voice magically enhanced so that everyone could hear him, his hands articulating his words with carefully measured but apparently clumsy moves.

"Wizards and Witches," George said, his hands copying the actions his brothers had made just seconds before.

"Students and Teachers,"

"Humans and, eh…" George trailed off, allowing his gaze to fall on the teachers. He appeared to be in deep thought for a few moments, before shrugging and offering them a grin.

"Well," he said, ignoring McGonagall's raised eyebrows "we'll just leave it at that."

There were a few snickers from the students, and Dumbledore chuckled gamely, the twinkle evident in his eyes even at a distance.

"We welcome all of you here today - Ghosts, Elves, Werewolves, Vampires, Purebloods, Half-bloods, Muggle-borns, Veelas, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Slytherins - and anyone else who happens to enjoy an evenings entertainment!"

George smiled indulgently at his brother, as though he thought him rather stupid.

"What he means to say is - hello."

Fred grinned at him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder exactly the way they had planned.

"That's the word I was looking for!" He cried, snapping his fingers "knew I could count on you bro."

George rolled his eyes, grinning at the chuckling audience, and shrugged off the arm.

"It's nice to see you all turned up - we would have hated to have to get up early in the morning just to poison your food."

"Although," Fred picked the speech up "it is a pity that we'll now have to find new volunteers for our latest inventions." He smirked at his brother, who shared in his glee for a few moments before turning back to their audience.

"However, we know you must all be rather curious as to why you have been invited here."

"And we won't keep you in the dark for too much longer, honest."

"Well, actually," George stated, nudging his brother and lowering his voice as though he was trying to share in a secret "you know that's not strictly true? I mean, it'd ruin all the fun if we actually told them…"

Fred pretended to think for a few moments, sending a wink to a few giggling girls nearby before clapping his brother on the back, sending him lurching forwards as though put off balance.

"No worries, bro! They don't need to know that!"

Light sniggering greeted the statement, and George let the students see him rolling his eyes in his brother's direction, irritated with his actions.

"Well then, as you know, tonight we aim to provide a little bit of entertainment with your meal,"

"And don't you pity the poor sods who were too young to be invited?" Fred snickered, grinning madly.

"We haven't let them starve though!" George cried, waving his arms around widely to prove his point "even we aren't that cruel!"

Fred snorted, but shut up at the look his twin sent him, and instead sent a cocky grin towards the audience.

"Before the entertainment can really begin however, we figure you'd like some food, so -"

The twins snapped their fingers once, in unison, and at once tiered plates appeared on the tables, the trays stacked on top of each other in a tower. With plates and cutlery already set out, the students blinked slowly, squinting at the food in disbelief.

Harry eyed the steaming plates cautiously, wondering if they - the students - were about to become the entertainment.

The twins laughed at their suspicious faces, leaning on each other for support.

"Ah, my dear brother, it appears we're not trusted by the vast majority of the students here!"

"Well," George replied, turning to walk back up stage "we've never really given them any reason to."

Fred followed him, and together they flipped their hats back onto their heads and began tapping their canes once more upon the wooden stage beneath their feet. In the same manner as their arrival, Fred gave a fancy spin, walking in front of his brother with a confident bounce in his step. The two continued their light banter as they walked, not once looking back to the audience.

"I suppose it's a shame, really," Fred commented in an offhand sort of way.

"Yes," his brother agreed "we wouldn't want them to starve, after all."

"But it is their choice."

"And we can't force them to eat."

The twins reached centre stage as the statement reached the ears of their audience, and together they turned to look over their shoulders with a cheeky grin that spoke of anything but innocence or honesty. Fred and George then turned to look at each other, their grins almost cracking their freckled faces, and, with one last wink towards a specific table near the front, the twins disappeared, a cloud of blood red smoke billowing out around them and veiling the stage in a misty red glow.

There was a stunned silence for several moments, but it didn't last long; the chatter started quietly at first, mere whispers coupled with confused and amused looks passed between friends, but the whispers grew louder and louder until every student was sharing his or her point of view. The music had stopped at the same time of the twin's disappearance, but it probably wouldn't have been heard over the conversation and the clink of cutlery anyway.

"Well…" Draco started, turning back around in his chair to face his friends "that was, um…"

"Weird? Yeah, I got that feeling too." Harry grinned at him, before bravely reaching out and pulling a leg of chicken off of one of the trays.

"Don't touch that!" Draco cried, pulling it out of his grasp before he could bring it to his lips "they might have poisoned it."

Harry rolled his eyes, laying his hand on Draco's thigh in a reassuring sort of matter.

"Don't be stupid. They won't do anything to harm us. I think."

The other's chuckled nervously, but the blonde only glared at them.

"Blaise!" He snapped, causing the darker haired boy to wince a little "I think you may have the honour of trying the first piece."

"What?" The Slytherin cried, clearly not amused by the suggestion "how is that fair?"

"I don't think it's dangerous," Hermione said, scanning the hall for any signs that something was amiss; many of the students had braved the food by this point, however, and still had all four limbs in the right places, and had failed to sprout any tentacles or feathers; the food, it seemed, was safe.

"See?" Harry asked, snatching the drumstick back and taking a bite of it before his boyfriend could protest further. He chewed on it slowly, the others leaning forwards in their chairs as they waited for something to happen…

But it never did. Harry grinned at them, and took another bite, before reaching out to fill up his plate with more food.

The other's tentatively began to follow suit, still on the look out for any traps the twins might have set up, but they were soon munching away quite happily when the males at the table failed to grow a pair of breasts. That was good enough for them.

DmHp

"Well, my dear brother," Fred began, the amplifying charm now removed, "I do believe that went quite well."

"Oh yes," George agreed with him "quite well indeed."

They shared a grin, walking over to the other members of the Malfoy family who had requested to sit in the wings; they couldn't very well join the students, after all, and yet they hadn't wished to miss the show.

"We trust you are enjoying your meal?" Fred asked, giving a mock bow as he reached them. Tracy gave a little giggle, and even Lucius managed to give them a small smile.

"May I enquire as to the nature of the nights festivities?"

Fred and George exchanged a look, identical smirks pulling at their lips.

"You may," George replied.

"But we probably won't be inclined to answer you."

DmHp

"I can't bear this," Hermione muttered, tearing viciously at her steak "I can't stand waiting!"

Harry shared an amused smirk with his boyfriend, knowing it was killing the head girl to not know what the two pranksters were going to do.

"Don't worry, 'Mione," Pansy comforted her, briefly laying her hand on top of her friend's "I'm pretty sure they're not going to do anything to us."

Blaise couldn't help but snort in disbelief, quickly covering it up with a coughing fit. Crabbe gleefully pounded him on the back, but was only rewarded with a glare for his efforts.

"They wouldn't dare do anything to the head girl," Harry said, playfully smacking Draco's arm as the blonde snickered beside him. The Slytherin pouted at him, and raised an eyebrow when his mate stuck out his tongue.

"Oh, now you're just asking for it."

Harry grinned at him, leaning closer to allow the Veela to kiss him, but was interrupted by Blaise indiscreetly clearing his throat.

"I'm alright with the two of you, honestly," he stated, a wry smile on his lips "but I really don't want to watch suck each other's faces off right in front of me."

Draco restrained himself from growling at being denied contact with his mate, settling for laying a hand upon his love's thigh instead. Harry blushed scarlet, thrilling the Veela beside him, but didn't remove it.

"You're just jealous that I'm sitting next to perfection himself, whilst you've been banished to the opposite side of the table. You should be grateful you are even allowed to gaze upon such an angel!"

The remark, oddly enough, came not from the Veela, but from Harry himself, but the flush that rose to Draco's cheeks was a much more memorable event.

"Awwe," Hermione cooed, though the others were sniggering at Draco's lingering blush and the adoring gaze that he had set upon the Gryffindor, "that's so sweet!"

"It's not sweet," Harry replied, kissing the blonde Slytherin on the cheek "it's the truth."

Draco's hand squeezed the thigh it held, a subtle hint of a later reward.

"Whatever," Blaise said, rolling his eyes "I'll just sit here and bask in his ethereal presence shall I?"

Harry nodded his consent, sticking his nose up a little.

"You do that. Maybe some of his brilliance will finally rub off on you."

"Well," Pansy managed to say through her giggles "we can only hope."

DmHp

It wasn't really black, he supposed, blinking a few times just to make sure he had actually opened his eyes. He blinked one more, just for luck, then tried looking around.

The shade he had mistaken for darkness now, upon closer inspection, seemed to be caused something blocking most of the light. Random streams of it broke through the – material? –, but only enough to enlighten him to the fact that the material was actually brown.

It was not really in the nature of a Weasley to panic in the face of danger; usually they were so angry that they were already charging into the fray before they had even registered their fear. It was therefore Ron's first instinct to simply run away (for he really couldn't see what it was he was supposed to be fighting, and he wasn't quite that brave – or stupid), but he found it impossible to carry out said impulse due the bondage binding his feet together.

The red head gasped in shock as he felt the cause material of a sack scratch against his neck, and decided that panicking was probably a very good idea when he felt the sharp pain in his knees from where he was kneeling on the floor. It didn't feel sharp or cold enough to be cobbles or stone, but the fact that he probably wasn't within the castle walls wasn't really a comforting thought.

Ron tried to pull off the sack, but belatedly realised his hands had been bound too, strapped together tightly with a rope that was spongy to the touch. He briefly let himself ponder the curious compassion this might implicate, before moving onto the more pressing matter of being bound and practically blinded by an unknown assailant, and being held hostage in an unknown location.

This, he decided, was definitely a very good time to panic.

A scream then perhaps, to alert anyone nearby to his presence? He opened his mouth slightly, taking a deep breath before curling into himself as he choked on the cloth stuffed into his mouth. He retched for a few moments as he uselessly tried to dislodge the cloth, finally managing to spit it out with a strangled cough.

Not good, not good, not good not good not good notgoodnotgoodnotgoodnotgoodnotgood and what the hell was –

Why could he feel a draft on his legs?

Ron shuffled his legs along the ground experimentally, not managing to stifle a cry as he realised his legs were indeed bare – though he was sure he was kneeling on something, no matter how thin the cloth was, and there was something covering his thighs...

'Really, it would probably be a good idea to just breathe, Ron told himself, trying to remember what Hermione would say in such a situation.

'Well,' Ron thought bitterly 'what the old Hermione would say.'

It was at this point, as the Gryffindor took a few deep, supposedly calming breaths, that Ron became aware of the vaguely muffled chatter he could hear. Slowly turning his head in what he thought was the right direction, he leaned forward a little to see what he could make out. Actually, there was a lot of chatter. Sort of like – sort of like how it sounded in the Great Hall during meals.

It was just as this thought occurred that he heard footsteps coming towards him, the melodious tapping an indication of the hard wood flooring the feet were walking on.

Feet. Plural.

DmHp

"Come on, brother dearest,"

"Your audience awaits."

The twins shared an excited grin as they neared the knelt form of their younger brother, each one grasping him under one arm and hauling him to his feet. Ron let out a strangled cry as he stumbled forward, eliciting sniggers from the devious pranksters.

"Here, let me get that for you," Fred swished his wand a few times, causing the bonds to fall away, and tightened his grip as the redhead began to struggle.

"What the hell? Who are you? What do you want? I'm armed!"

George rolled his eyes, dodging a well aimed kick before whipping away the sack, Ron's scarlet red hair tumbling not so gracefully around his shoulders and down his back.

"What the – Fred, George?" Ron sounded bewildered, though Fred couldn't really blame him. He took a moment to consider the possibility that this was really a bit cruel, but shook off his momentary insanity with ease. He couldn't help but snicker as he took in the appearance of his 'brother', trying to put on a comforting smile as he began to explain.

"We're really sorry brother, for not preparing you for your impending fame -"

"-but you see, we really had no choice," George continued, nodding solemnly despite his laughter as he and his twin hauled Ron back to his feet.

Ron looked down to see what had caused the clumsy stumble, feeling uncomfortable with something strapped to his feet – and he knew he was tall, but the ground now seemed miles away...and what were the pink things strapped to his feet anyway? And was that – a skirt?

Ron screamed, suddenly thankful for the tight grip of his apparent kidnappers as his legs gave out beneath him. High heels. Pink high heels. He was wearing pink kitten heels (he blamed Ginny for the knowledge of their appropriate name), and a violet skirt with a crumpled texture.

But, really, he shouldn't have to lean forward so far to be able to see them; after all, whilst he knew he was 'buff', Ron really didn't think he had had this much muscle earlier either. Although, those two lumps didn't really look like...

And Ron didn't think anymore of it, after that. He didn't think at all, actually, and unconscious was probably a preferable state of being anyway.

Because, really, it was quite a shock to realise that he suddenly had two plump, perfectly shaped breasts on top of everything else.

Had he been awake, Ron would probably have decided that it was long past the time for panicking.

DmHp

A/N; I can't believe I still haven't actually written it! I'm sorry! I can't believe how much I'm currently writing! Gaah! I have, however, begun writing the next chapter already, so you shouldn't have to wait long to read the end of it; which you can probably guess by now anyway. I just didn't want to make this chapter too much longer, because I think my ideas might run out soon after this subplot. Hmm...

Anyway, please don't kill me! If you do, I won't be able to finish the next chap! Lol.

I hope you enjoyed it anyway; hope it wasn't too rambly or anything. Or too long winded. Or just boring, heh. Let me know.

Thanks, as always.