I loved writing this chapter, it is a long one, it is also OOC for Myles but with everything going on I felt it would be how he may act, he cant keep it all in forever, I know Caroline the Dr seems to be belittling Myles by explaining everything but she's trying to make him relax and open up but also not push him so she has to tell him about Lucy, she's looking out for him

As Myles lay there in a heap the panic started to wash over him more and more, the thoughts still spinning around his head, he couldn't breathe, his heart was pounding, his breath was shallow, he wanted to move and find out where Lucy had gone but everything failed him, his legs just wouldn't move, his hands wouldn't move and when he tried to call out to someone even his words failed, he just sat there hoping someone would come along and see him there.

He didn't have to wait long, he heard his friends running towards him, the strong Aussie voice echoing through the corridor

'MYLES' Bobby shouted seeing his friend as he run towards him, 'Myles are you ok?'

He didn't answer he just looked at him, or it was more like through him, Bobby shook him trying to snap him out of it 'Myles, Myles,' he kept calling his name and getting no response, Booby turned his head towards Tara 'Tara, Honey, go find a nurse quick, I cant get any response'

Tara run towards the other rooms looking for a nurse, finding Ruby sat at the nurses station

'Ruby I'm so glad you're here, come quick please its Myles'

Ruby moved quickly, seeing Myles sat there moved towards him quickly, 'Excuse me Bobby please, Myles, Myles, its Ruby, what's going on, what's wrong' she asked taking his hand, checking his pulse she could feel how rapid it was beating, listening to his chest, she could hear his heart beating rapidly

'Ok Myles, you need to listen to me, you're having a panic attack, I need you to slow your breathing for me, take deep breaths, listen to my voice and calm yourself down, long slow deep breaths'

Myles knew what this was, he had had this feeling before, after he got shot, he knew he had to listen to Ruby just as he with Sue that day, focusing on Ruby's voice he could feel himself begin to relax, his breathing began to slow, he could feel his heart pounding less, he could start focusing on those around him.

'That's good Myles, long slow deep breaths, take it easy and slow, you're going to be fine' Ruby could sense he was starting to relax, she checked his pulse again, happy it was slowing and getting back into normal rhythm 'Myles, can you hear me?' she asked wanting to make sure he was coming around

Myles nodded, he still couldn't find his voice, but at least now he was almost back to normal

Bobby and Tara watched in worry as Ruby tended to their friend, Bobby crouched on his feet

'How is he Ruby?'

'He'll be fine, he's had a panic attack, the question is why, has anything happened'

Tara and Bobby looked at each other wondering the same thing themselves, 'No idea, we arrived to see Lucy and found him here' Bobby explained

'that's why I came to find you' Tara continued 'how is he now'

'He's doing ok, we do need to try and get him up though, I'd like to let him rest in one of the side rooms for an hour or two just to be on the safe side though' she turned her head back to Myles 'Myles can you get up?'

He tried but once again his legs failed him, Bobby and Ruby grabbed his arms 'Ill go get a chair' Ruby explained 'we can get him up and put him in that, I'll get Caroline to come and check him over to' she said as she disappeared out of the door

Bobby went to sit by Myles but Tara stopped him, 'Let me, maybe go get us a coffee and some water for Myles' she said gently squeezing his hand as she sat on the floor

Bobby turned on his heals heading towards the canteen

Tara sat on the floor by her friend, taking her hand gently in his the same way she had on that first journey to the hospital

'Myles, its Tara, its only me and you here now, I need to know what has happened?, can you tell me what caused this?'

Myles looked at her 'Luc…' he couldn't speak, every time he tried to explain or think about where she was the panic washed over him again, Tara and Bobby had been to preoccupied with him to even notice that her bed was empty and it hadn't dawned on Ruby that was the reason

Tara, thought she had figured it out 'I know you are worried about her, but I promise you Myles she is going to come around, she will talk to you eventually but you have to be patient with her at the moment, we are all working on her, Sue has been singing your praises every time she sees her, we all want you two to get over this, Myles we're on your side'

Myles tuned his head away from her, he could sense the tears were about to fall, if this was the case then where was she, could she be ok or did they not know either, he tried to speak again, but before he could the tears fell, the walls he had built up over the years finally falling as his emotions took over, Tara didn't say anything she just put her arms around him letting him cry.

Bobby, arrived back at ITU just in time to his friend fall into Tara, he could here Caroline and Ruby behind him, he put out his hand to stop them 'I think he needs a minute' Bobby explained gesturing his head towards the pair

Both Caroline and Ruby agreed and moved so they were out of sight

'While we wait do you mind if I ask how Lucy is?'

Caroline looked at him while keeping an eye on Myles and Tara just to make sure ' She's doing really well Bobby, her physio is going well, she is finding it hard but the damage to her spine and legs is very severe, it is going to be a long hard few months for her, she has to learn to walk again, but it also has to be done slowly so as not to cause anymore damage, she is going to need a lot of physiotherapy at least twice daily, that is why we have transferred her up to the rehab ward'

'The what ?' Bobby asked surprised and looking towards her bed and back to Myles who was slummed right in that eyeline

'The rehab ward, its an intensive physiotherapy unit, they can work with Lucy up there as often as she needs and wants to, they can also give her all the medical care she needs, I will of course be checking up on her daily as I have been while she has been here'

Bobby started to make sense of it all, Myles had obviously come to speak to Lucy and saw her empty bed, he hadn't been eating properly or slept for days, he had seen her bed and gone into panic 'Does Myles know where she is, cause look' Booby asked gesturing to where Myles and Tara now sat

Both Ruby and Caroline shook their heads in unison, 'I've been up settling in Lucy, I hadn't seen him'

'and I didn't even know he was here until Tara come and got me'

'I think we need to go explain to him'

'I would like to check him over before we do, lets get him into the side room first and make sure he's ok because I don't think I'll be able to keep him here once he knows she only moved 2 floors away'

'Youre right there Shelia, he can be a stubborn old goat when he wants to be and I don't think handcuffs would hold him once he knows she safe' Bobby laughed softly as the three of them headed towards the pair

Bobby placed his hand on Tara's shoulder 'Tar, sorry to disturb you but the doctor is here'

Tara looked up at the three of them moving slightly causing Myles to loosen the grip he had, he looked up his eyes red and swollen. Bobby held out his had helping Tara up and doing the same for Myles pulled him up and into the awaiting chair. He didn't want all this fussing but right now he didn't have the energy to argue with any of them.

Bobby pushed the chair into the small side room, 'I'll leave you to it' he smiled towards Caroline 'Tara come on lets leave the Dr to it, I need to talk to you outside' Tara followed Bobby out the door, turning her head towards the Dr and Myles she smiled

'We'll be right back Myles'

'Thank you, we wont be long' Caroline answered

Caroline looked in Myles' direction 'Myles, Ruby and your friends have asked me to come and check on you because they are all very concerned about what just happened, Bobby has told me that you haven't been eating properly since the accident, nor have you been getting much sleep, I know you are worried about Lucy and what has happened the last week, but you also need to take care of yourself. What you had a short while ago was a panic attack have you ever experienced them before?'

Myles nodded and somehow managed to get his words out 'Once, a few years ago'

'then you know why they happen, its your body's way of trying to control a situation but it isn't helped with a poor diet and lack of sleep, how much have you been eating and sleeping'

'To be honest I've hardly eaten or slept since Lucy's accident, Ive been eating one meal a day to supress the hunger and sleeping around 2 maybe 3 hours a night'

'You have to know that isn't enough of either, I want to run a few tests to make sure there isn't anything else going on and I'm going to put you on a drip to boost your fluids and nutrients up, you'll need to stay here in this room for at least an hour maybe two'

'Will this keep happening?'

' Im going to prescribe you some anti anxiety medication and I suggest you speak to your local doctor about maybe having some therapy'

'I had some after the last attack, but work and everything got in the way and I stopped'

'You have to keep going Myles, until the therapist says you can stop, whether that is weeks, months or years'

Myles knew she was right he had to start again and this time he wasn't going to make excuse so he didn't have to, he wanted to ask about Lucy but he either couldn't ask or was so afraid of the answer he didn't want to know the answer

'Is there anything else' Caroline asked sensing there was more

Myles just shook his head, Caroline sensing his fear and having a feeling she knew what he wanted to ask, but also wanting to get him stronger didn't push it further

'Im going to take some blood see what is going on make sure all your levels are normal, check your blood pressure and then do the drip, once the drip is done and you feel a little stronger I will come back in and talk to you some more' Caroline explained as she took the blood pressure cuff off the awaiting trolley, placing it around his arm, she explained it would feel tight for a few moments before easing, she noted the reading on the chart

'it is a little on the low side Myles, but that was to be expected with you not eating, I'll check again once the drip has gone through. Now I want to take your blood so can you roll up your sleeve please'

Myles did as he was asked as Caroline prepared the needle, blood vials, cotton ball and tape

'Will only sting for a moment' she smiled as she tied the band around him, finding a good vein she proceeded to fill the 4 vials on the table

'Ill get these rushed through the lab and will have the results by the time the drip is done, Im very sorry but I now need to put a needle in the back of your hand, it will be painful but it needs to be done for your own good'

She took his hand and placed the needle in causing a slight whince from Myles 'Sorry' she smiled

'Its ok, suppose this is nothing compared to Luc…' his voice trailed off breaking slightly

'Almost done' Caroline smiled as she place a small piece of tape over the canular to hold it in place before attaching the drip 'All finished, now just sit there and relax, it will take about 90mins to 2hrs to go through so why not try and have a nap at the same time, it will do you the world of good I promise'

Myles smiled slightly as he watched her leave the room, she was right the last hour or so had taken so much out of him, he wished Lucy was ok but there was something in his mind that was telling him she wasn't, especially since no one had mentioned her since this all happened, sinking into the bed his eyes filled once more as he thought of all the what if's that filled his mind, he didn't know when it happened but his eyes closed slowly and once more vision of their wedding day filled his mind.

Myles felt like he had been asleep for days when a noise outside disturbed him, he could hear the machines beeping out in the corridor and his first thoughts turned to Lucy, was she in trouble again, he tried to run out the door but he was still attached to the drip

'Woah there Myles, take it easy' he heard the voice of Dr Caroline as she walked through the door, 'you're still attached, you'll do yourself injury' she explained 'take a seat and we can have a talk'

Myles doing as she asked sat back on the bed

'ive had your blood back' caroline explained as she walked towards him 'a number of your vitamin levels are lower than they should be, but as you haven't been eating it doesn't surprise me. You really need to start taking better care of yourself, I'm going to prescribe you some vitamin boosts and I want you to see your local doctor in a week and have the tests repeated, I also want you to start eating and sleeping better and the therapy will also help'

Myles smiled a half smile, he knew she was right he hadn't been taking care of himself at all how could he when all he could focus on was Lucy, Lucy, even thinking of her made his eyes fill. Caroline sensing what he was thinking smiled and gently tapped his hands

'Myles what are you thinking about' she asked hoping he would open up

Myles sighed heavily he had to know if she really was gone 'Lucy' was all he managed to muster

'What about her'

'Is….. she …..' he couldn't get the words out

Caroline looked at him, she knew he needed to get it out, she couldn't put the words in his mouth it wouldn't help him 'Is she what' she asked

Myles breathed heavily and with barely a voice muttered 'Dead'

'Why do you think that Myles'

Myles took a deep breath she really was going to make him tell her everything that was in his head

'her bed is empty and made for someone new, I came to speak to her, we have so much to speak about, she rung me, there was an incident so I hoped coming here it would force her to see me but I looked in the window and just collapsed I had all this panic come over me, she'd gone and I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye' he brushed at the tear coming from his eye hoping Caroline hadn't spotted it

'Myles, yes she is gone, but only to another ward, we are very happy here in ITU with her progress so I have had her transferred up to the rehab unit where they can give her more specialist physio care, that's where I have been today, I was settling her in when you collapsed which is why I wasn't on the ward and had to be found, I know I should have told you straight away but your health was suffering to, which also needed to be a priority, how can you look after my patient if youre not good yourself, if you promise to take better care of yourself I will take you to her'

Myles gasped as she spoke, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, she was fine, she was on another ward, she was still alive and, in the hospital, he had to get to her and he had to do it now

'Please take me to her, Caroline please, I need to see for myself that she's ok'

'I will but I must insist that you take care of yourself to, I've written to your Dr explaining everything that has happened today and he wants you to come and see him at the end of the week, I must express that this is a very important appointment and you must keep it' Caroline had gone a little more stern in her delivery but he was her patient now, she had to be, removing the canular and drip bag she gestured for him to follow her

he practically jumped up off the bed as he followed her out

'slowly Myles please, you are still not 100% strong, either we take it slow or you go by chair'

Myles slowed his pace, to a brisk walk, he wanted to get to Lucy but he also wanted to get there in one piece.

Caroline led Myles to the elevator and up to the 5th floor where the rehab unit was situated, he scanned the exercise room as the walked past where his eyes fell upon the standing beauty of his dark haired love, she really was there, she really was ok, and she really was smiling back at him right now as their eyes locked through the glass.

Now the hard work between the two starts, just because she's smiling though it doesn't mean she's ready to forgive him, or is she, review and read on x