Christmas Eve

Forks

Carlisle

The trees passed by in a blur as I pushed myself to run harder, faster, farther into the forest through La Push. Neither the beauty of the trees nor the fear in the animals that scattered in front of my feet were enough to appease the growling, snapping beast inside me. It was the first time in over 200 years that the monster threatened to overcome the man. I was holding on to control with my fingernails. Max would be furious with me for walking out on her the way I had, but she'd forgive me. If I had stayed…

If I had stayed, I'd have done something neither one of us would have been able to forgive.

Breaking through the tree line I leapt to the top of a boulder, tongue absently stroking the razor sharp quills along the bottom of my teeth that were primed for the hunt, and stared out over the Olympic peninsula while I waited for Emmett to catch up.

"You're late. And noisy."

"And you're a jerk." Emmett walked over, leaping to the top of the rock along with me. "She was still bawling her eyes out when I left, you know." The words, laced with accusation, and the mental picture they brought with them made me cringe. Max rarely cried. It was one of the things I loved most about her. That she was doing it now…

I needed to be there. The self-loathing for the choices she'd been driven to make, her fear of what we…I…would think, had been written all over her face. The need to wrap my arms around that small, shaking body, to hold her until she understood that no one here would condemn her for the actions of a frightened, trapped little girl, was a tangible thing. So was her need for comfort and reassurance.

That need wasn't quite enough to block out the black fury vibrating in my chest. The feral instinct to draw human blood that hadn't plagued me since I was a newborn reared its head, not to feed, but to protect what was mine. It was too dangerous for me to be anywhere near the man responsible for this misery. I'd tear out his throat and wallow in his blood. I'd undoubtedly regret it in the morning, but morning was still several hours away. Right now the only bit of conscience I could find was the thought of the horror on Max's face if I killed the man.

In that moment I loathed the predator inside me that drove me to be here, miles from home, sucking in the clear crystal air in a futile struggle to get a grip on my humanity, when I needed to be with her.

"Look, I get that you're pissed about this. I know how you are about the sanctity of human life." Emmett sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. "But don't you think you could have given her at least a little bit of sympathy before you walked out on her? She was in a tough spot."

Shock cut through the haze of red dancing in front of my eyes. Dear lord. After all the years I'd spent with them, after the number of times I'd stepped in, cleaned up their messes when they were little more than children in this new life, my family could honestly believe I would condemn her choice when she'd had every other choice taken away from her?

"What is this opinion you have of me?" I asked in disbelief. "Max is bad enough, but you, Emmett? After all this time?" Emmett just shrugged, shifting uncomfortably. In a flash of insight I realized it wasn't just Max he was uncomfortable about. If I could hold one human life against her, would I do the same to him? Had I, secretly, all these years?

Sanity was still out of my reach, but this was my son, and he was afraid. That grounded me, gave me the control to reach out and wrap a reassuring arm around his shoulders. He didn't shrug it off like he would have only a few months earlier, and the feeling of his arms wrapping around my waist was a welcome one.

"She was a child," I murmured, the words raw and stinging. "She should have never been put in the position to have to make the choice. She didn't see any other way out, and the people that should have helped her didn't lift a hand to help her do it. She did what she had to do to survive, and nobody has the right to say a bloody thing about it. Especially me."

With a sigh I hopped down, slamming my fist into the boulder and watching with satisfaction as it crumbled beneath Emmett's feet. "I knew," I confessed, laughing dryly when he hopped down with a disgruntled yelp. "I knew something was wrong between them the moment I met them. But Maxine Donovan had made the news more than once for defying her conservative parents, and they seemed to get along well enough on the surface. I wrote it off as teenage rebellion.

"How many years, Emmett?" The truth was a cold, hard lump in my stomach, but the words had to be said. "How many years did she suffer for my benign neglect? How many times did I ignore the signs? How many nights were his hands on her when I could have helped her?"

"Jesus Carlisle, is that what this is about? Your God complex?" I pushed away from my son, stalking back to the tree line, but he just followed me across the small clearing and back to the path we'd just come from. "Oh, come on. It's true and you know it. You always feel like you have to save everybody. You couldn't save her. Damn it Carlisle, do you hear me? She didn't want you to save her.

"If she had, Bella would have come to you a long time ago, and you know it. She needed to handle it herself. And what would you have done anyway? She wouldn't have taken a dime from you. And short of having him killed…" He trailed off when I turned.

"Don't underestimate the tremendous amount of pleasure it would give me to feel his windpipe snap between my teeth right now," I snarled. I could all but taste his blood beneath my teeth. "I'll admit I don't relish the thought of taking a human life, but it wouldn't be the first time I've killed to protect my own and I sincerely doubt it will be the last."

"But you've never killed a human before."

"Yes, well, there's a first time for everything."

Emmett's gaping disbelief had me pulling myself in with a sigh-and, in doing so, leashing the last of the fury that had been driving me to that point.

"She was a child, Emmett. That's what I can't get past. What kind of man could do that to his own child?" The sun slowly cresting on the horizon caught my eye. Christmas Day. It wasn't shaping up to be much of a holiday for any of us.

The children would be up soon, expecting presents from Saint Nicholas. From what Max had told me, they'd never had much of a Christmas before. We'd all run around like maniacs preparing their Christmas Day surprise for them. It was only fair they get to enjoy it.

"I'll talk to Max later, but I don't want him breathing her air for another second." I started jogging down the trail, Emmett hot on my heels, my ears pricked and following the sounds of footsteps cutting through the woods and heading straight for us. "Jeanni is welcome to stay, but I want him gone before sunrise."

"You want who gone?" Jacob melted out of the woods along the trail, Embry and Paul in wolf form flanking him on either side. Ah. I'd thought that was who it was, but it was difficult to tell. Wolf scents were considerably less distinct than those of a human. Or even a vampire. It probably had something to do with that almost overwhelming stench of wet dog, something else I'd more or less gotten used to over the years but could never quite put out of my mind.

"Apparently the good senator's even slimier than he looks," Emmett informed him before I could say a word. "We caught him trying to get it on with a very unwilling Max in the hallway. Turns out it's not the first time."

Jacob turned to me, his pupils shifting into wolf-like slits. "You want me to kill him for you?"

"That's not, I think, the best way to handle this situation," I said slowly, carefully sifting through the ideas that were starting to race through my head now that the bloodlust was gone. "There are things that are worse than death, especially when you're in the public eye. But if killing becomes necessary I'll handle it myself."

Paul whined eagerly from where he was trotting along next to us. Embry snorted. Even in his wolf form it was impossible to miss the disgust behind it. Jacob looked down and nodded. "I couldn't agree more. Sure you don't want me to just phase and rip his throat out on the way out of town? Make it look like a wild animal did it? You know they're all over the place up here."

"No, although if you don't mind I'm going to reserve that option for a later date."

Jacob grunted. The three wolves were all bristling with restrained violence. They were all good men, men I'd come to know very well over the past handful of years. None of them killed lightly, and the stab of regret was bitter and sharp. If Max had known how many people she had standing behind her, would she have allowed this to go on as long as it had?

There was time to contemplate that later. Right now, there was a rat in the house. It was long past time this particular rat knew what it was like to have a bigger predator breathing down his neck.

The senator's red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes nearly popped out of his head when he opened the door to his bedroom and found three tall, angry, muscular wolves standing there, arms crossed, glowering at him. Before he could slam the door in our faces I caught him by the throat and dragged him out into the hallway, pinning him to the wall and taking a tremendous amount of pleasure from the florid color that rapidly filled his face.

"Let's get one thing straight," I said congenially, reaching up with my other hand to pat his cheek just a little harder than absolutely necessary. "The only reason you're still among the living is because I'm pretty sure your daughter would take it personally if you weren't breathing when she got up tomorrow morning. I can't understand why, but there it is. Now, I'm a reasonable man. So I'm going to make you a deal." Leaning forward so we were nose to nose, I let the monster slip out, just a little. Just enough to give the man a healthy fear for his own skin. Just enough to have him turning pale, to feel that involuntary shiver when I leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "You're going to leave. Tonight. Your wife is welcome to stay through the holidays, but I want you gone by daybreak."

Dropping him down to the floor, I watched dispassionately as he struggled for breath.

"We know everything, Senator Donovan. And I promise you, if you ever come near Max again, or take any kind of recourse…well." Squatting down to where he was still kneeling on the ground, I smiled sweetly. "You know who I am. I imagine you're also well aware of the fact that I can make your life very, very uncomfortable-and that, should I choose, not even our mutual friend will be able to salvage your career from the ruin that would be left behind." Pulling him to his feet, I passed him over to Emmett with an ungentle shove. "Officer Cullen will make sure you get to the airport and on the next available flight to DC. And Senator, it would behoove you to remember that our Chief of Police loves Max like a daughter. He's not going to help you."

With that I turned and walked away, leaving the boys to deal with the errant senator-and chuckling a little when I heard Paul pop his neck and snarl, just for good measure. He was in good hands, and there were other amends to be made. I'd put them off long enough.

The first thing I saw when I walked into Max's room was the shine of tears in the moonlight. She'd obviously cried herself to sleep, and the sight was as heartbreaking as the sight of Alice and Rosalie piled on the bed with her was charming. Both slipped quietly from the room when I stepped in, but Alice put her hand on my arm to stop me on her way out.

"Be careful with her," she said gently, eyes swimming with understanding. "She's fragile, and she's bent about as far as she can bend without breaking in two."

Gently perching on the edge of the bed I looked at the shivering figure under the blankets and sighed. Minding Alice's words I carefully reached out and pulled the covers up to her chin, taking pains not to wake her up. When my fingers brushed lightly across her damp skin, however, she reached up and caught my hand.

"Carlisle?" Her good eye blinked owlishly at me. The professional in me couldn't resist the urge to quickly check her over. Her pupils were responsive in the flickering light, and while the other eye wasn't bad, it was definitely swollen enough to make it uncomfortable the next morning.

Biting back the urge to change my mind and kill the man for that alone, I smiled.

"How are you feeling?" I asked softly, brushing strands of hair away from her sweaty face. She furrowed back into her pillow, eyes filling with tears all over again.

"I'm so sorry, Dr. C." One lone tear spilled over, trickling down her pale cheek. "I didn't mean for any of this to land on your doorstep."

"I know." Unable to resist temptation I toed off my own shoes and bumped her lightly with my hip. When she scooted back I laid down on my side and stretched, groaning with pleasure. It had been a very long day. Well, two days, technically, since it was about six in the morning at this point, but that was beside the point. Between chasing the children all day (who would have imagined a pack of humans could move that fast?), the party and that evening's upheaval, I was mentally, if not physically, exhausted. And that didn't even take into account the kick to the solar plexus I'd felt when Max came floating down my stairs that afternoon, looking for all the world like Cinderella on her way to the ball.

Jealousy was a low and common emotion. Pulling the woman lying next to me into my arms, feeling her shiver as she tucked herself tightly against me for comfort, if not warmth, I was completely consumed with it. Had the timing been different, had things occurred differently than they had, she might have been lying in her own bed, having this conversation wrapped around the man whose ring she wore. He should have been the one holding on to her tonight, and I couldn't help a brief, unreasonable flash of fury that he wasn't.

But then, I hadn't been there for her either, had I?

"I know you didn't mean to bring it here," I murmured into her hair, enjoying the way it tickled my nose when I rolled over to pull her tighter, "and I'm going to ask myself why every day for the rest of my very, very long life."

"Why what?"

Sleep was slowly starting to slur her speech. Good. A couple hours of sleep before the evening's festivities would be the best thing for her.

"Why you didn't tell me. Why you chose to carry this horrible burden by yourself rather than let us help you." Reaching out, I lightly cupped her chin in my hand. "We would have helped you, Maxine. You didn't have to go through this alone."

"I couldn't tell you," she whispered. "I'd promised, and…I couldn't stand to see the look on your face when I told you what I did." She stopped, sucking in a deep, shaky breath that nearly broke my heart. "There was nothing you could have done, and I wanted a little more time before you found out what I really was."

With a sigh I wrapped her up in her blankets, cuddling her close like a child and, because her wide-eyed disbelief demanded it, bent down and placed a light kiss at the end of her nose.

"I really don't know where you all get this opinion of me from. You were a child, Maxine. You did what you had to do to survive, and neither myself nor anyone else has a right to say a single word against you for it."They were almost exactly the same words I'd said to Emmett, and her eyes filled with the same tentative gratitude I'd seen in his. "But I promise you, after tonight, there won't be any more repeat performances."

It only took the beat of a single human heartbeat for her to put the pieces together. Pushing herself up on her elbow so she could look me in the eye, she asked suspiciously, "Oh god. What did you do?"

It had been a very long day. That's the only explanation I have for what happened next. The room was dark, with pale moonlight dancing like pearls against her skin. She was close enough now that every breath she took washed across my cheeks. In that moment everything faded away except for the night, the moonlight, and her, and almost before I realized what I was about to do I'd lowered my head and, achingly slowly, brushed my lips across hers.

Those lips were warm and soft, blending with the scent of vanilla to completely overwhelm my senses. One hand slipped up out of the blanket to press against my chest as she wriggled closer, and the mouth that had haunted my sweetest dreams and wildest fantasies for months lightly parted so I could drink in the feel of her without putting her in harm's way. With a low groan I tightened my arm around her, in no hurry to give up this long-awaited first-and probably last-taste of her.

Until she pulled back and yawned.

"Oops." Her voice was barely more than a murmur laced with a healthy dose of embarrassment as her eyelids drifted shut. "Sorry."

All I could do was laugh. "Go to sleep, little one," I said, amused, tucking her deeper into her blankets before sliding toward the edge of the bed. Before I got too far, however, the hand that had been lying on my chest gently fisted itself into the front of my shirt.

"Will you stay with me?"

The words, and the aching vulnerability in her tone, took me by surprise, but I settled back onto the bed. She immediately pushed irritably at my shoulder until I rolled onto my back, then snuggled up on my shoulder, leaving me to lie there and drink in the sensation of her sleeping in my arms while the sun climbed higher in the eastern sky.