I know that it has been an age since I last updated. There are so many reasons for this, but it all boils down to unreasonable demands at work, which have prompted me to re-evaluate my career options. Having done so, I feel life is starting to return to some semblance of reality and I'm back in the saddle. I hope you enjoy the update, which is an extra-long one to make up for lost time. Thank you all for your patience. I've missed hearing from you. Your comments would be appreciated. XX
CHAPTER 25
He watched her cooking from the kitchen door. With her back facing him, she had not heard or seen him, and so he enjoyed listening to her singing quietly to herself, as she bent over, beating something in a bowl with a wooden spoon. She stopped for a moment and wiped the back of her hand across her forehead, pushing back damp tendrils of hair. The smell of vanilla hung in the warm air as he crept up behind her, winding his arms around her waist, pulling her lightly against him. He bent his head and buried his face in the crook of her neck, kissing it. Grace smiled and leant back into him, revelling in the simple intimacy of the moment, her pleasure communicating itself through the low murmur leaving her lips, as she dropped the spoon into the glazed earthenware mixing bowl. She turned into his embrace, wrapping her own arms around him.
"Where did you come from?" she asked, nuzzling his jaw.
"I've been in the drawing room tidying up. We haven't got Mrs A around at the moment and you can't do it all." His lips brushed the sensitive skin just below her ear and she pressed closer to him, allowing herself to enjoy the sensations he evoked. It was blissful and she revelled in the closeness of their connection, but, finally, she had to pull back or risk ruining her culinary efforts.
"Roland, have you really been tidying?"
"I wanted to help you, and you're doing the cooking so it seemed only right and fair."
"Bless you, you're so thoughtful. Thank you, my love."
"My pleasure. What are you making anyway? It smells delicious."
"It's only sponge cake; one for you and one for Mary and the children. I was just making the icing when you surprised me. I hope they'll taste as good as they smell."
"It seems I'm not alone in being thoughtful," he said, kissing Grace lightly, as he stepped forward, until the edge of the table pressed against the back of her thighs. Running his hands along her sides, he kissed her again, his arms moving around her once more. Then as he released her mouth, he popped an icing covered finger between her lips with a grin.
"Roland Brett have you been dipping your fingers where they ought not to be?"
Quick as a flash he did it again, this time licking the icing off himself.
"I couldn't resist it. May I lick the bowl when you've finished?"
"Beneath that professional exterior beats the heart of a little boy. Of course you can lick it clean, but only if I can help you, too."
This time his kiss was deep and savoured her mouth, his tongue delving into the sweetness and tasting her. With a gentle push, she freed herself.
"I love you, but the cakes need attention. Cooking for a woman who's a genius in the kitchen is quite intimidating."
Stepping back to give her more space, he said, "I understand. Mrs A's standards are rather exacting. She frightens me more than any German ever did, but she's very fond of you. Mind you, so am I."
Grace smiled up at him, as she bent to open the range door, and removed four golden sponges from its depths, nudging the door shut with her knee as she placed the last on the wire trays at the side. She ran her hands down her apron and turning to him said,
"Thank goodness; I haven't burnt them. I'll turn them out in a minute. Sweetheart, would you pass me that pot of jam?"
Reaching across he passed the jam to her and smiled gently, as he watched her, once more, set about completing her work. His mind wandered back to the countless times he had watched her in France; quietly competent, with an attention to detail second to none, as she organised her team of nurses and cared for her patients. He recalled, on one occasion, fighting the sudden urge to take her hand and pull her into the darkened side ward. Quite what he would have done, when he got her there, he had no idea. Even then, he had wanted her with a passion, which had threatened to overwhelm his customary reserve; a reserve, which had seen him waste precious years of joy with the woman he loved. How he had left France without becoming her lover baffled him now. Being with Grace was the most natural thing in the world and he would do anything for her except give her up. Lost in his thoughts, he had not realised that she had stopped and was watching him, with a quietly amused expression.
"Penny for them," she said.
"Oh, just the usual," he replied with a grin.
"Which is?"
"You, us."
Moving towards him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and, taking in his indulgent expression, she knew this was where she was meant to be, come what may.
"Do you think of me often?" she asked.
"All the time, Grace, and I always have done."
"Why?" she teased, knowing what his answer would be, but longing to hear the words leave his lips.
"Because I love you now as I loved you then. Well, that's not strictly true. I love you beyond reason now, and I've no idea how I ever existed without knowing your touch, your embrace, and your love in return."
Moved by his admission, Grace reached up to touch his face following, with loving eyes, the path that her fingers traced.
"They're yours, forever, as I am. We're blessed, Roland, and I'm happier with you than any woman has a right to be. When I think of Mary and all that she has had to cope with, I feel humbled. Would you drive me there, after we've eaten, so I can give her the cake and see how they're faring?"
Taking her fingers in his hand, he kissed them, and replied, "Of course, my love. I was going to suggest we went. Come on then, let's get dinner prepared."
"It's all done. The chops just need cooking. If you set the table, I'll sort out the meal."
"I've worked up quite an appetite. I might need some cake for dessert," he said, winking at Grace.
"Roland Brett, how you stay slim is beyond me. You eat like a horse."
Drawing himself up to his full height, he stated with mock gravitas, "I work it off in lots of ways, as you well know, Miss Carter."
Grace could feel the heat suffuse her cheeks, as she blushed.
"You're incorrigible, Roland"
Seizing her, he said, "And you, my darling, are irresistible. Now, feed me!"
Laughing, she turned to cook the seasoned meat, and left him to his own devices, setting the table.
…..
Some time later they approached Mary Anderson's neat front garden, their car pulling up by the gate. Roland opened Grace's door and took the cake tin from her lap, as he helped her down. Smoothing her skirts, Grace took it once again, as he locked the car and led her to the path.
"I do hope that she'll manage, Roland. It's such a lot for her to deal with."
"I've been thinking the same. It was nasty break and these things aren't always straightforward, but if anyone can get young Thomas back on his feet, once he's home, it'll be Mrs A."
Roland raised his hand to knock at the door, but found it flung open before he had a chance to. It was Daisy, her hair tied back in a thick plait and a huge smile on her face.
"My mum says to come straight in, Colonel, Miss. We heard the car and Charlie knew it'd be you. We saw you from the front parlour."
"Did you indeed? You're very resourceful. Now, where is your mother?" Roland replied, smiling kindly at Daisy.
"She's through there, Sir."
"May we?" Grace asked.
"Yes, please go in. Mum's waiting for you."
Roland gestured for Grace to go ahead of him and they entered a small room at the back of the house where they found Mary Anderson, with a pile of neatly folded laundry on one side, and mending on the other. She looked up as they entered and smiled.
"Well, this is a lovely surprise. Forgive the state of the place."
"Don't be silly, Mary. We both wanted to see how you are," Grace volunteered, bending to embrace her friend.
Returning the hug, she answered, "That's very kind of you. Thank you for coming. Would you like something cold to drink or some tea?"
"Don't trouble on our account," Roland replied, "We've just eaten."
"Oh, Mary, this is for you and the children. I know it won't be as good as yours, but it's the thought that counts." Grace proffered the tin.
"Why, thank you, Grace. What a kind thing to do," Mary said, prising off the lid and looking appreciatively at the contents. "I'm sure we'll enjoy this."
"You haven't tasted it yet," Roland joked.
"I don't expect you'll want any then, Colonel," replied Mary.
Grace smiled as she said, "On the contrary, Mary, he's been begging me to let him have some of the other one at home, but now I'm not so sure. What do you think?"
"I think you're a very fortunate man, Colonel. This smells as good as it looks and I suspect will taste as such, too," Mary commented, with a smile.
"You have had some rest today, haven't you Mary?" Grace asked.
"I've not been back to the hospital since you brought me home. When I sat down, after doing my chores, I felt absolutely exhausted. Daisy's done more than I have."
"Nervous shock, Mrs A," said Roland. "That's why I said to you before that you must try to sleep. It heals better than anything."
Grace reinforced his advice, adding, "Roland's right, Mary. You can only help Thomas if you're well. There's no point in pushing yourself till you break, and you've Daisy and Charlie to consider."
"I feel so guilty though, Grace, leaving the little chap on his own."
"He's not on his own, Mary. The nurses will make a huge fuss of him and he's going to be feeling tired and will need to keep still, if his leg is to heal properly. If you're there he'll be fidgeting about and trying to overdo it. Rest is what you both need and what your doctor over here has prescribed."
Grace nudged Roland in the ribs as she said this and Mary smiled at the easy affection between these two people, whom she had come to see as friends.
"Quite right, Grace. We'll bring you home each day, as we promised, Mrs A, so you can do what you need to in the mornings and spend the afternoon with Thomas. I'm sure that young Daisy and Charlie won't mind helping about the house, and I'd like to reward their efforts in due course."
"You don't have to do that, Colonel. We can manage," Mary said.
"I know; but I'd like to," Roland replied, with gentle firmness.
Grace smiled warmly at Roland. This was exactly the kindness which, she knew, permeated his character and was one of the reasons why she loved him so much.
"We'll see. Anyway, I need to do something for you, too, as I recall. Dressmaking wasn't it?" Mary countered.
"Mary would you please? I'm desperately short of dresses."
Turning to Grace, Mary said, "Of course; I'd love to. Shall I measure you and we'll get an idea of how many yards of fabric will be needed?"
"Do you have time?" Grace asked.
"Always for my friends," Mary said. "Colonel, would you be kind enough to wait whilst we deal with matters upstairs?"
"Absolutely. Please do whatever you need to and don't stint on your requirements. Grace deserves the best."
"I'm glad you recognise that, Colonel Brett," Mary replied.
Grace looked up at him with a shy smile. She had never imagined him buying her clothes, but it all felt so natural.
"I was thinking perhaps two or three dresses for now and the same for the autumn. We can buy some more later on." Seeing the shocked faces before him, Roland hesitated, before asking, "Is that not enough?"
"Roland, I can't possibly let you incur such expense," Grace interjected.
"Nonsense, Grace."
"Colonel Brett, I see you in a new light and one, of which, I greatly approve. If I seemed shocked, it was merely because I don't know how long each garment will take to cut and sew. We haven't even decided on patterns," said Mary.
"Please, it's not necessary. I have some clothes. It's too much."
"Mrs A, could you give us a moment alone?" Roland asked.
"Certainly, Colonel. You take your time."
As the door clicked shut behind Mary, Roland turned to Grace and said,
"Grace, my darling, you're worth every penny. Let me do this for you, please."
"How can I accept such largesse when I have nothing to give you in return?"
"Because it will give me pleasure and you give me your heart in return. What more reason do I need? Please, Grace. If we were married, there'd be no argument."
"But we're not and I can pay my way."
"I know you can. The money is immaterial. This is about the man who loves you giving you something you would like and need. It makes me happy to look after you, Grace. Let me."
Grace answered, "Will you let me look after you in return then? All the little things lovers do which have no monetary value, but which mean so much."
"What did you have in mind?" he asked, threading his arm around her waist, pulling her gently into his embrace.
Enjoying his attention, Grace spoke from the heart. "Letting me hold you until you fall asleep, watching the sunset together from the seat in the garden, listening to the music which you love, cooking your favourite meals, giving you huge pieces of cake when we get home, snatching a kiss when we're at work and no one is nearby, making love with you beneath the full moon, things like that."
"Oh, Grace, that's more than enough for me. You know that kiss you mentioned…."
"Yes, you can have it now," she replied, pulling his head down and touching her lips to his.
"Mmmm, that's good and I'd like nothing better than to continue being 'looked after' but shouldn't I get Mrs A back? She'll be wondering what's going on."
"True; it is her house after all."
Roland opened the door and ushered Mrs Anderson back in.
"Sorry about that, but we needed to sort out a couple of things."
With a smile, Mary stated, "Yes, you have the look of a man who's been sorting things out."
Coughing slightly to hide his embarrassment, Roland continued, "Well, we'd like you to make the dresses if you'd be so kind and, of course, you'll be paid. I appreciate these things take time and if you feel it's too much, just say. Furthermore, Mrs A, I would like you to make young Daisy a new frock and a couple of new shirts each for the boys."
"Really Colonel Brett, it's too much."
"On the contrary, Mrs A, I can never thank you enough for your kindness and friendship to Grace and me. I have no right to presume on your understanding, but you have bestowed it nonetheless."
"It's a pleasure to work for you, Colonel, and Grace is good for you; for me, too, I should add." Seeing the colour flood Grace's cheeks, Mary said, "Now don't go blushing, dear; it's only the truth. Come on; let me get those measurements done."
The two women left the room and within seconds Charlie was at the door. Roland smiled at the lad; a mop of thick hair atop a face which beamed enthusiasm for all life had to offer. He thought of Freddie, of life cut short, and felt his spirits momentarily flag, but Charlie's infectious zest for living brooked no resistance.
"Can I come in? Were you really in France all the way through the war, Sir?"
"Come in, Charlie. Yes, I was, and Miss Carter was, too."
"You ran a hospital, my mum says."
"That's right, I did. It was jolly hard work."
"I wish you'd been able to help my dad like you did our Thomas." Charlie's tone was wistful.
"I wish I had been able to, as well, Charlie, but we never met. I'm sure he'd have been very proud of you, though." Roland's smile conveyed his certainty that the lad before him would, indeed, have brought his father joy.
Charlie cast his gaze down as he said, "I miss my dad. He was always telling jokes. It drove my mum up the wall."
Roland reached out and tousled the lad's hair.
"My son died in France as well, so I understand a little of how you feel."
"That's sad, Sir I'm sorry for your loss. He must have only been young."
"He was, Charlie; too young to be fighting in a war."
"Did Miss Carter help at your hospital?"
"She did, Charlie, and she was the reason so many people got better. She made sure that all her nurses looked after the patients and kept them clean and warm. She looked after me, too, when my son was killed. I was very sad for a long time, but she gave me hope for the future, and that is what you must have, too. Your future beckons you to happier times."
"She's nice, Sir. My mum likes her and our Daisy, too. It's good to have friends you can count on, least that's what my dad used to say."
"And he was a very wise man, Charlie. Always remember what he told you. A good person is more precious than diamonds. Now, I want to propose something to you."
Roland told Charlie of his plans to reward him and his sister for helping their mother whilst Thomas was unable to walk. Charlie's eyes widened with amazement.
"We will do our best, Sir, I promise. You are very kind; my mum was right about that."
"If your mother holds a good opinion of me, then I am honoured."
As the males talked downstairs, Grace and Mary were upstairs taking measurements for the dresses, which Roland had ordered.
Looking at the petite frame before her, Mary said, "There's nothing of you, Grace. You must eat or you'll have no resistance to anything."
"I do eat; I just never put on weight," Grace answered, almost apologetically.
"Don't say that around these parts. There's some'll flatten you for your good fortune." Mary joked.
"I think it was the war years, which have had a lot to do with it. The food was disgusting so I never felt like eating much. I think its effect has just carried forward."
"I'll soon put some meat on your bones once Thomas is home and I can get back to work. I've never met a man who'd turn his nose up at soft curves on a woman and I suspect the Colonel will have you whatever shape you are."
"You may be right."
Affectionately, Mary remarked, "I know so. One look at the pair of you tells me all I need to know. You'd better take care at work or others will soon draw the same conclusions."
"We do try, Mary, but it's hard. We've spent so many years denying our feelings and now we've finally admitted to each other how we feel, it seems wrong that we still have to hide them."
"I know, my dear, but you must; at least at the hospital, and be careful even when you visit me here. You are both lucky in living off the beaten track with no neighbours around, but you need to bear in mind that once off the estate, you're fair game as targets for gossip, not that I've heard any. I simply care about you both and don't want anything to spoil your happiness." Mary reinforced her comments with a friendly hug.
"Thank you, Mary. You're very dear to us, too. I'll speak to Roland and reinforce your advice."
Rolling her eyes, Mary said, "Ah, that man of yours! His face is an open book whenever he sees you. He can't tear his eyes from you, Grace. How in goodness name did you two never recognise what you felt before?"
"I don't know. Rank, duty, the endless stream of casualties, I suppose, but I always loved him."
"I can see that. You're as bad as him. Just be careful, my dear. I'll always listen out for you though."
"I know you will and I thank you."
"There, we're done. Not too many yards needed. Have you had any ideas about style?"
"Not really. I thought you might like to be creative and give me a wonderful surprise with each one. I'm very easy to please and will love anything you make because I know it'll be done with love."
"Very well and you're right; it will be done with love. We'd better go down. I can hear raucous laughter from Charlie."
Grace reached across and squeezed Mary's hand. It was simple gesture yet conveyed what she wanted to say. As they left the room, Grace smiled as she heard the side-splitting laughter of Mary's son.
"Whatever they're doing, it sounds like fun."
As they entered the room, it was to find Roland strutting about with his nose in the air.
"What on earth?" Grace asked.
Charlie was crying with laughter, holding his sides and rolling around on the sofa. Momentarily, stopped in his tracks, Roland turned and, with some embarrassment, saw the incredulous expression on the two women's faces. He glanced down, but Charlie had finally controlled himself enough to say, "It's Major Pillbox."
"Who?" said Mary.
"Colonel Brett's was showing me what his old commanding officer, Major Pillbox, was like."
Grace tried unsuccessfully to stifle the giggles which immediately threatened to overwhelm her, too.
"And very lifelike it was, too. A gift for mimicry, Colonel. Major Pillbox? Who'd have thought?"
Clearing his throat, Roland said, "I'm glad you approve, particularly as you are acquainted with the real thing!"
"The acquaintance is not one I care to recall in too much detail, but you have captured him so well, although perhaps not to the full degree of his pomposity."
"Well, Charlie, I think we had better leave now before I get too carried away. It is always best to quit whilst you are ahead."
"Will you come again, Sir?" Charlie's voice conveyed his eagerness.
"I daresay we shall see one another again. Thank you for keeping me company, Charlie. Grace, are you ready to go and do you have what you need, Mary?"
"I do, Colonel. I've written down the measurements and any good haberdasher will know how many yards of plain or patterned fabric will be needed from these. If you want dresses for the cooler weather, make sure that you think about the weight and nap, too."
Looking a little nonplussed at the language of couture, Roland replied, "Thank you, Mrs A; whatever you say. I know nothing of such matters but I'm sure your comments will be a help."
"We'll be off now, Mary. Thank you for your hospitality," Grace said.
"I've done nothing; you wouldn't let me, but Daisy has a little something for you I think."
Quiet as a mouse, Daisy had crept up behind her mother, placed Grace's cake tin back into her hands and gave Roland a small bag.
"Scones and some homemade strawberry jam," Mary said, "All, Daisy's work, too."
Grace bent down and placed a kiss on Daisy's cheek. "Thank you, Daisy. How clever you are. These are my favourites."
"Mine, too," said Roland.
"I thought my cake was your favourite," Grace teased.
"You can never have too much of a good thing, Grace," he replied.
"We'll see you at the hospital tomorrow, Mary, and we'll bring you home afterwards."
"Thank you, Grace. I'm sure Thomas will be looking forward to a visit."
"Undoubtedly. Till tomorrow then," Grace said with a gentle smile.
Mary and the children directed their visitors back to the front door, insisting on waving them off. Roland eased off the handbrake and the car slowly eased forward and pulled away. As Grace looked back, she could see the children and their mother, still waving until the car rounded a bend and they were no longer in sight.
Touching his thigh lightly, Grace said, "Thank you, Roland, for all you do. You really are a wonderful man and, I love you so much, you wouldn't be able to take it in."
"Oh, I think I might if you show me," he commented grinning.
"I thought I'd done that, or am I so instantly forgettable that lying with me has already faded from your memory?"
"Never think that. My darling, every moment with you is indelibly stamped on my heart and treasured in that part of my mind set apart for none but you. If you did but know how much I adore you, you would be quite overcome."
"I already am. I love you, Roland, and to be with you like this is beyond anything I could have hoped for."
The car eased onto their gravel drive, the crunching sound one which Grace associated with the joy she felt at returning home.
As he helped her down from her seat, he slipped his arm round her waist and drew her close for a second, inhaling the lavender fragrance from her hair and skin.
"Would you like to dance with me tonight? I have some popular recordings we could play."
"I would love that, Roland," Grace replied.
"Don't bother changing. You're perfect as you are."
"If I am, it's for your eyes alone," she stated simply.
"Come; let's enjoy what's left of the evening."
"And then, let me hold you while you fall asleep."
"With you in my bed, how on earth will I sleep?" His voice was warm.
"The same way I do, by holding you close, knowing that I am safe at last with the man I love, and by thanking God for bringing us together. You are my life, Roland, and I am so happy."
"Oh, sweetheart, how glad and blessed I am."
As the door clicked shut behind them, they went hand in hand to the drawing room, where the last rays of the sun just touched them as their mouths met in gentle homage to the love they both felt.
Any thoughts or comments are a kindness and much appreciated. Thank you. XXX