Chapter 24

Bella's POV:

After eating Esme's sandwiches –more like after I was done eating, Edward and I laid down on the blanket. I couldn't stop staring at him. I was amazed at the sparkles that shine on his skin. A part of me still wants to laugh at the thought of a sparkling vampire – it almost loses its threatening aura. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the sun and the wind gently blowing around. This meadow is spectacular; it almost feels like a dream. Like Edward is not next to me.

Hesitantly, I reached my hand out to touch the contours of his forearm with my fingertips. "Do you mind?" I asked his eyes closed.

"No," he said with a whisper and not opening his eyes. "You cannot imagine how that feels."

I lightly trailed my hand over his muscles of his arm to the elbow. With my other hand, I reached to turn his hand over. Realizing what I wished, he flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting movements of his. It startled me; my fingers froze on his arm and I could not help but give him a low chuckle.

"Sorry," He murmured. "It's too easy to be myself around with you."

Wish I could do the same…

After staring his hand like a lovesick girl, I put my fingers through his and smiled, realizing I am holding his hand. "Tell me what you are thinking," he whispered. I looked up to see his eyes watching me. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"How do you think the rest of us live?"

"It's a hard life but you didn't answer."

"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking…" I hesitated.

"And?"

"I was wishing that I could believe that you are real…and if you aren't, then I don't want to wake up. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

He moved his arm away from my touch and suddenly, he is half sitting on the blanket, and his left palm touching my cheek. "I don't want you to be afraid."

"I'm talking about a different type of fear."

"What are you afraid of, then?" he whispered intently.

I pulled his hand away from my skin and got up, walking a few feet away. This is getting too hard –too emotional all in one day. I know Edward can hear my heart beating fast in my chest. "Edward –"

"I understand that a sparkling vampire seems less frightening but it's not. You can't forget what I am, Bella. I'm the world's best predator!" I turned around to see him standing up with a mocking look on his handsome features. "Everything about me invites you in –my voice, my face, even my touch as if I need any of that!"

Suddenly, he appeared out of my sight and standing next to a tree a few feet away from me. "As if you can outrun me!"

He kept running to different spots in the meadow until he reached up with one hand and yanked a tree out of the ground and threw it to the side. Then, he was in front of me, standing two feet away, the disdainful feature turned into fury.

"As if you can fight me off"

I stood there, not moving, not sure how to act now that Edward exposes a side of him that I have never seen before. If he was trying to scare me, it is not working. He must do more than show me his abilities to scare me. "Don't be afraid," he murmured. "I promise…I swear I will not hurt you. Please forgive –I can control myself."

"I know you can. But Edward, if you ever try to scare me like that or threaten me in that way again –"

"I wasn't –"

"You were!" I screamed and groaned. I ran my fingers through my hair. "This was supposed to be our first…date and you created this beautiful romantic scenery and it will be hard to top this. But trying to show the girl that you're interested in – trying to scare her and reveal the traits that make you dangerous is…plainly stupid of you."

"Bella –"

"If I was any girl and you were human – I would call my dad and tell him that you have anger issues." He looked hurt by that comment. "Edward, I don't scare easily but I do not appreciate what you just demonstrated."

"I'm sorry, Bella. Truly."

"Don't you ever do that to me ever again." I threatened.

"Of course, I'm sorry. Please, let's," He gestured for us to sit back down on the blanket. "Please explain to me your fear."

"I'm afraid of how easily frustrated I am. I was afraid because for, well, obvious reasons, I cannot stay with you. And I am afraid that…this –whatever this is, will be nothing than a dream come true."

"More like a nightmare."

I groaned out of frustration and annoyance. "Edward you're not a monster! I'm afraid because…whenever I get happy, something happens –something bad and I don't know if I can live through that disappointment again."

"Does your fear have something to do with…your abductors?"

"I wasn't talking about them but thank you so much for reminding me," I said sarcastically.

He sighed, "I'm sorry Bella. It is just…you should be afraid of wanting to be with me. I admit I am terrified as well for wanting you so badly. You don't know what it is like to have no idea what you are capable of…especially if you have feelings for someone so beautiful and yet perfect."

I think I do understand and there is a problem with that.

He put his hands at the side of my face, his eyes memorizing my face. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever,"

I didn't know what to say. What does a girl say after a guy confesses something like that?

"Be very still," he whispered. "There is something I want to try."

Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his lips on my forehead and my breathing hitched at the contact of cold lips. Then he hesitated going lower and then his cold, marble lips pressed softly against mine. What neither of us prepared for was my response. Blood boiled under my skin burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his bronze hair, clutching him to me. I wanted it.

I want Edward.

And that realization scared me. Immediately, I pushed myself away and opened my eyes to see his coal dark eyes. "Oops," I breathed. "Sorry."

"No, it's alright. You are only human, right?" He smiled and I could not help but smile back. "Besides, I'd rather enjoyed it."

"Good answer, Mr. Cullen."

Once the sun went away, Edward decided to carry me on his back and run back to the car. If run is the right word to use. It was like flying and feeling the strong wind brush across my face. It was exhilarating. And I was dizzy. But I was not sure from the trip back to the car or the make-out session Edward and I did. It took a while for both of us to control our…urges but…it was well worth it.

"Are you still hungry?" Edward asked me, opening the door for me to his house.

"If you or Esme keep feeding me, then I need to run some more." I laughed and surprisingly, found his family sitting in the living room watching the news together.

"Bella how was your picnic?" asked Esme with Carlisle's arm around her waist.

"It was delicious, Esme thank you. But I was just telling your son that you could not keep feeding me. It feels wrong that you have to buy all that food for one human when there are a million starving children out in the world."

Esme smiled proudly at me and it instantly reminded me of my mom. "I'm glad you think that way, Bella."

"Come sit with us. The news is already over. Let's talk." Alice said, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the couch.

"Um, what about?"

"Well, you told me that you didn't date in Phoenix but that doesn't mean we can still talk about boys."

"You do realize that you have your dream man sitting next to you, right?" I laughed and I settle in Edward's arms lying on the couch.

"True but I want to know about kissing."

My eyes widen and I was pretty sure my mouth dropped. "Y –you saw –"

"Sometimes it is hard to block your decisions from Alice," Edward pitched in.

"Yeah, well you had decades to practice. Me –a few days. Alice, why do you want to know about my…love life even though I didn't have one?"

"It's a human thing to do, right? Ask your girlfriends what your first kiss was like." She smiled.

"My first kiss…"

A pair of green eyes flashed through my head.

"How old were you?"

"Alice," Edward scolded and took my hand. "You don't have to answer her if you don't want to Bella. Remember we have many hours and days ahead of us."

"I was eleven but I would not consider it a kiss, more like a quick peck. My first real kiss was when I was thirteen years old."

Alice giggled out of excitement, "Who was he? Was he handsome?"

"He is –was someone…he was a close friend." I struggled to say in a sentence but could not figure what else to add.

"Aw, was it your first love?"

"L-love?" I manage to choke out, feeling my heart beating fast in my chest and knew that they could all hear it.

"Alice, I think that's enough interrogation." Edward interrupted and I was thankful.

"Do you have another movie planned out?" I asked, changing the subject. "I have a few more hours to spare before my curfew."

"What should we see?" asked Carlisle.

"Pirates of the Caribbean –the first and second," I smiled.

Emmett started to laugh, "Edward I love this girl already!"

I smiled back at Emmett and sank further into Edward's arms as the movie began to start. But through the first half hour of the movie, I couldn't concentrate on the funny Johnny Deep scenes as a pirate. My mind drifted to a memory:

The smell of rain stayed in the dark van as I huddled closer to the warm blanket around my body. The wool smelled like him. I couldn't help but realize and inhaled it for a bit longer. I could smell his tropical soap; it was mango or peaches or coconut. I turned my head. "Why are you doing this?"

"Ah, so she speaks," He teased, and I gripped my hands tight on the blanket from hitting him. "I was wondering when one of you were about to talk but…I guess you wanted to be alone in the van to ask me."

"You separated us, why?"

"You and I both know how Noah's mind works and if all of you are together, then it will be easier to track down." He answered me. "The real reason I dropped each of you at the bus station –"

"Different stations in Northern California."

"Is to find home again –your real home with your real parents." He finished. "I am doing this because…I never thought of escaping. There was nothing left for me out there but seeing the ten of you…"

"Thank you."

Suddenly, he stopped the car and I realized we are in the middle of nowhere. "You're going to kill me."

"What? No –Izzy, how long have you known me?"

"Seven years."

"Exactly, look about two miles away there is a bus station. I will give you cash so it can take you to Forks. Here is the money."

I took the money from his hands and put it in my pockets before stepping outside, leaving the warm blanket in the seat. The winter weather hit me hard and I shivered, wishing there was a change of clothes in that van. I turned around; his green eyes searched for something on my face. He moved a strand of my hair away from my face.

"You can do this, Izzy. You can finally go home."

"Why don't you come with me? You're my best friend and we stick together –always and forever."

He sighed and pulled me into a hug, his arms around my back and I could feel his breath against my hair. He feels so warm. I do not want him to let me go. "I'll miss you too, Izzy. Now go before I do change my mind."

I pushed away from his comfort and stared at him. For someone so young, he looks so tired and older. How could Noah do this to a nineteen-year-old? His green eyes showing more emotion that I wanted to see all night. I don't want to leave, and he doesn't want me too either.

I don't want to be away from him.

Without thinking, I put my hands at the side of his face and pressed my lips softly against his. He stood frozen like a statue but a couple of seconds later, he responded the kiss passionately. When the kiss ended, his forehead landed against mine.

"I love you," I whispered.

His eyes stayed shut, "I know…ugh! If only you were a few years older…" he kissed my lips urgently one more time. "You need to go now."

I backed away, allowing my eyes to stay open to remember him –remember this night forever. "Is this goodbye forever?"

He smiled sadly, "No not forever beautiful. This is the only beginning. If it is fate…I will see you again."

I couldn't help but smile at those two words: fate and destiny. "Do you honestly believe that?"

His hands ran through my wet hair as his eyes stayed focus on me. "I know I will see you again, Isabella. You just need to believe it too."

I grabbed his hand and kissed it tenderly. "I'm going to miss you so much."

He kissed my hand and pushed me away, his head down. "Go now. Run and don't look back. No matter what you do, don't look back."

"I won't," I whispered and felt empty feeling his touch vanish from the contact of my skin and without a second glance at his handsome face, I turned around, running away from him and from my old life.

Running and not looking back….

"Bella?" I turned my head to see Jasper staring at me curiously and intensely, "everything okay?"

I wiped a tear that fell on my cheek and gave out a little chuckle, "Yeah, it's just…pirates are drunk perverts, don't you think?"

"But they are cute," Alice added.

I laughed, "Not every pirate is as handsome as the famous Jack Sparrow."

"Captain Jack Sparrow," Emmett corrected.

"Right," I laughed but could not find the happiness in my tone. My eyes drifted over to Jasper, and he was staring at me as if he knows who I was thinking about. I turned my eyes back to the movie but noticed a frown on Jasper's face.

The hours went by quick and before I knew it, I was saying my goodbyes to the Cullen family. When Edward parked in front of the house, it was two minutes before ten. Slowly, we walked to the front door but I did not want the night to end. It is so unfamiliar for me to feel this way about Edward when I only knew him for a short while.

Is what I am feeling more than…? Could it be…?

"Thank you for giving such a wonderful day. I had fun." My heart was beating fast in my chest again and my cheeks were burning the moment my lips touched his cold cheek. Edward stood there still again and stared at me with his eyes back to black. Do I keep doing that to him?

"I should go inside," I whispered, watching as he took a step forward to me.

"You should," Edward whispered back. "We have forty seconds left." He pressed his cold lips to my forehead then gently kissing each cheek. I couldn't handle the adrenaline pumping through the veins and I put my hand around his neck, kissing him one more time. When it was over, he smiled at me and took my right hand, giving it a tender kiss on my wrist. "Thank you for giving me such a wonderful day, Bella."

The front door opened and Edward immediately released my hand. Charlie looked at us back and forth, probably because my face is as red as an apple. "Not a second past, good. Have a good night, Edward."

Edward took Charlie's hand and shook it firmly, "The same to you, sir. Thank you for allowing me to take Bella out. Good night Bella." He nodded his head at me and walked back to his car.

I stayed in the doorframe, waiting to see him smile at me again and when he did, I gave him a small wave. He waved back, with my favorite crooked smile, before he got inside his car and drove away. I didn't close the door until his lights went around the corner.

Charlie sat on the couch with the game on mute, "so you and Edward, huh?"

I groaned. I was almost halfway to my room. "Dad –"

"I'm just going to tell you this, Bells. I'm too young to be a grandpa."

"Dad!" I half yelled and half laughed. How could he say that with a straight face? "I'm not like you and mom. Plus, I already had the talk with mom four years ago."

"Yeah, but you didn't have a boyfriend four years ago."

"I'm sure it works…Dad, do you really want to have this talk right now?"

Charlie shook his head, his face turning pink. "No, I don't but…just be safe, Bells okay? And if you ever need someone to talk to or need me to beat up a guy, I will do it. I'd rather beat up the guy that hurts you but…yeah."

"I know you will dad but…its high school and I'm a teenager. Luckily for you, I'm willing to wait."

"Good because I was serious about before."

"Good night!" I yelled and closed the door behind me, not believing that just happened.

After changing into my pajamas and taking off my eyeliner, I hopped into bed ready to sleep. But I couldn't. It wasn't just the excitement I had with Edward but it was also the flashback. I grabbed my other phone and dialed the only number in there. "Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

I lay down on my back, staring at my ceiling. "Did I wake you?"

"Izzy? Nah just got in from a mission. So how's life as a normal teen?"

"I guess I can't complain. Can I ask you a question?"

I heard noises of cups and water running, "Yeah sure. But I am not letting you in on any missions."

I chuckled, "No not that. Do you remember that rainy night four years ago?" Glass shattered and it went quiet. "Hello?"

"…yeah, I remember."

"Was I…did you…you didn't give me a yes or no answer."

"Izzy, what brought this on?" He asked me, sounding tired.

"Yes or no?"

"It was four years ago. Why do you care now?"

"I've always cared…always and forever, remember?" More silence and felt my heart pumping hard. It has been doing that a lot lately. "Please," My voice cracked on the verge of tears. "I need to know."

"Yes –my answer was yes."

I sighed happily as I wiped the tears away, "Thank you. And you were right."

"I know I am. But what was I right about this time?"

"It was fate," And I hung up before he could hear me cry. I put the phone away and closed my eyes, knowing that no matter what, I can never go back in time and change things. I just have to go through the motions.

Trevor's POV:

I put the phone away on top of the kitchen counter and decided to change my beverage from water to a nice cold beer. I need it. After that short phone call, I need it badly. I sat down on my couch, watching the roaring thunder erupt in the dark clouds and the rain pounding against my glass windows. Of course, I remember a night like this…

"I love you," she whispered and I could feel her hands on my chest. And I wonder if she could feel my heart beating so hard because of those three words.

I didn't want to open my eyes because if I did, then it would mean that it would be over soon. "I know…ugh! If only you were a few years older…"

My eyes stared at the empty bottle of beer. I didn't realize I finished it so quickly. I need another one. I walked up to the fridge and took out another beer.

If only, she was my age…

If only, I could escape with her…

If only, I could say those words back to her…

If only

Angrily, I threw the beer bottle at the wall and watched as the liquid dripped down to my floor. I lifted my head to see that I also crushed the mirror and I'm staring at my reflection. But I could see her face on the other broken shard of the mirror. Unfortunately, that is all I –we have right now: the "what ifs" and the "if only".

"It was fate," her words rang through my head.

It was fate that brought me to see you again, but was it destiny that decided to drive us apart?

A/N: Let me know what you think! I added more interaction between Bella and Edward during their date especially with that aggressive part of Edward showing off his powers. My Bella is more OC and she would be more angry than scared at that display.