Author's Note:

It has come to my attention that some people do not like the wait they have to endure for my or other's work, nor the fact that some people complain about how there is a lack of "action" . Now I know how you feel. You just love reading our stories so much you can't wait to see what we turn out next, who ends up with who, etc etc. But eventually one reaches a point where…well, where we, the authors of the work you read, get really angry.

To summarize this point I have composed something I think accurately reflects the problems that we, the fanfiction authors, go through. And now: a helpful limerick, as inspired by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill's work…

There was a youth named Bob240,

Who loved to read fanfiction stories.

But every week he would complain

"They f—king forgot the sex again!"

Now pissed off he then would write,

Throughout the days and all the nights,

Cruel e-mails that made the authors sick,

Calling them "douchebags", "queers" and "dicks".

Real pissed off, kept up at night,

The authors will not take this spite!

They'll find the offender at his coop,

And kill him with an ice cream scoop.

Dear readers, what we simply ask,

Is patience whilst we do our tasks.

Let us work at our own pace…

AND DON'T GET ON OUR FUCKING CASE!!!

And now, on with the story. Love ya!

INTERLUDE: SHIN'S STORY, PT. 1

"Thank you again for everything you've done, you're very kind." Shin Dell told the nice lady from convenience store. "I'm very grateful to you for letting me stay here in your home."

Mrs. Kan smiled. "Oh, it's nothing, really! Mustaq and I are glad to have visitors. And you seem very friendly young man, ah?"

Shin smiled politely. "Well, thank you all the same. You, uh, need any help with the cooler at your store?"

Mrs. Kan shook her head. "Oh no, oh no!" She insisted in her deep, oddly musical Pakistani voice. "We need your help with something else today, actually I need your help with something else."

Mrs. Kan and Shin were sitting in Mrs. Kan's kitchenette. Her husband was already gone, off to the store. Mrs. Kan cleared her throat and sipped some of her tea.

"Now, it is anniversary." She told Shin. "Of when Mustaq and I come to America, which was also three days away from when we married, so we celebrate both anniversaries on same day, throw party and everything."

"Oh, I see." Shin nodded. "So…?"

"Well, I want to get him a good gift. I have been saving up for a diamond. One I have reserved at store, at "Kay's Jeweler's" in Avon, hah?"

She walked up, her fairly large form going to a drawer. She pulled out an envelope and gave it to Shin. "It's a big one, number L55T."

"L55T. I see, I see. And you want me to pick it up?"

Mrs. Kan nodded. "Oh yes, I have to go to store to help Mustaq out in a quarter of hour, he does not want me to be late, he makes big fuss if I am late, so-"

"I would be happy to help you, Mrs. Kan." Shin insisted. "I'd love to help. Honest. I'll get going right now!"

"You know where Kay's Jeweler's is?"

"In Avon. And I can find Avon."

"Good, but in case you are getting lost, here."

Mrs. Kan handed him something. "What's this?" He asked. It was smooth and black in color.

"Cell phone. I will call you or you call me if problem comes up." She flipped it open for him. "Press that green button after picking my number to call, numbers brought up on that button." She pointed to another button. "And that disconnects call. Hold down to turn off phone. And call 911 if there is emergency or 0 for operator if you do not know what number you want to call."

Shin blinked stupidly a few times then nodded. "All right. Will do." He said.

A few minutes later Shin was outside the house and heading down the road. He'd changed outfits using magic. Now he had on a black t-shirt, a silver chain belt and pants, and a silver headband. He also had silver armbands, thick, buckled boots and black tip-less gloves. He also had silver earrings, and his long black hair was unchanged completely, although he now had a blue/black tattoo on his arm.

In short, he looked like what he was, a Goth. Something some apparently drunk and obviously redneck jerks riding by seized on instantly as he was walking past a nearby Catholic church entitled "St. Catherine of Siena".

"Hey! Queerosexual!"

Shin stopped walking and turned to face them. They were glaring out from their truck. One smelled of gunpowder, Shin reasoned he'd been shooting at birds as he passed them by.

"What're you doin' out here, eh?"

"…going to Avon." He said. "I have to pick something up for-"

"That wog lady? Oh, what a f—kin' cunt."

Shin looked very angry with the man. "You shouldn't say such horrible things. Diversity and tolerance are what we need in this world, not bigotry and prejudice."

"What we need're less queers and f-ggots like you."

"You know, guys…" One spoke up, with a scraggly beard, a big mustache and thick veins on his neck…and a "John Deere" hat on his head. "I don't reckon chasin' after homos is very Christian."

"Aw, shut it, Billy Bob! This FAG has to learn what we do to people who didn't fit in here in Simsbury!"

"Simply because I'm homosexual doesn't give you the right to treat me any differently than-"

One of them took out a gun. "Start runnin', queer!" He shouted, aiming it at Shin.

Shin immediately ducked underneath their car. One of them hollered "the f—k?!?" and jumped out, looking underneath, holding onto a hunting knife. "All right, fag, time to-"

Nothing. Nothing there at all.

"What the? The queerosexual took off!"

How right he was! Shin was running down the road at unbelievable, inhuman speed, and completely invisible too boot. His powers of invisibility made him completely undetectable to any scientific way of sensing the unseen and most magical ways. However those with direct holy lineage and enough magical power COULD see him, as Azrael had. But those angry men weren't anywhere close to being men of God, despite the fact that they went to Church every Sunday and prayed vehemently. That alone wasn't enough, what holy spirit was within them was drowning in a sea of intolerance…

But then something happened that made Shin stop. A deer was in front of him, to the side of the road/ He stopped running, becoming visible again.

It saw the Demon of Shadow, turning its head and blinking with black eyes.

Shin said nothing. He simply smiled.

The deer blinked a few more times.

(Tolerance)

Then it slowly walked off into the woods. Shin felt a breeze blow gently as he watched the deer fade into the woods on the sides of the roads. He'd just seen something beautifully simple, one of the little things in life he was glad he appreciated.

He didn't understand why everyone was so scared of him. The whole "Demon of Shadow" thing meant some powers and a title. That was it.

If the others had been raised by HIS mother and father they would have probably turned out much better than they had, turned out much better than so many said they were, which was psychotic.

Eventually though, Shin arrived at Avon. He was impressed. It was a nice little New England town, and there wasn't much traffic out. The blue sky and fluffy clouds complimented buildings and stores of khaki and white color, with the occasional extremely light brown building mixed in. Some smells from a McDonalds, a "99 Restaurant" and "Dunkin Donuts" wafted into his nostrils.

But then he remembered his purpose: Kay's Jewelers. He walked across the road as quickly as he could and into the "Avon Commons". There were crowds of kids hanging around a "Hoyts Cinema" there, the very same one Nick had visited.

"Oh Mark, I'm just so glad you came back to us." Mark Lee's mother sobbed, hugging him tightly. He was there to see "Spider-Man 3" with his family, and YES, it felt good to be alive and back with his family. They'd been about to bury him when he'd pushed the coffin open and surprised them all. Luckily there'd been no fatal heart attacks, but he'd gotten on the front page of the "Hartford Courant" for his efforts. "A Last-Minute Miracle" the headlines had proclaimed.

Still, he only had one regret…that Nick couldn't have come with him. The Nick he'd met down in Hell was different than the one up on Earth at the moment. THAT one had moved away with his family shortly after…the whole incident. He didn't know what he was doing now, either.

He wished he could have told the Nick he'd met that. Somehow he felt it would have been really helpful. And the "goodbye" he'd given…it seemed like it hadn't been-

What the?

Mark noticed someone was walking right up to him. A Goth with VERY long hair and very memorably golden eyes.

"Excuse me." He said politely. "Do you, by any chance, know Nick Grey?"

(Hope)

Mark's heart leapt up into his throat. "Y-yes, I do! Why? Is-is he alright?"

"As far as I know, he's just fine. In San Francisco, I believe."

Mark beamed. "All right! That's great, that's just-hey, wait…who are you exactly?"

"Shin Dell at your service." The Goth said, shaking hands. "Nice to meet you."

A few moments later both Mark and Shin were standing in line to get tickets for the movie. Mark felt the need to ask the question: "How do YOU know Nick?"

"I'm a good friend of his." He said. "And I can tell you've been around him because some of his aura left a trace on you, I can SMELL him on you."

"…okaaaaay…"

"I'm the Demon of Shadow, in case you were wondering."

THAT got Mark's attention. "Oh-oh! Oh crap, please don't hurt me, I swear to God I'm sorry for peeking up her skirt, it was a moment of weakness-"

"I'm not a bad demon, all right? I'm not even full demon. My father was a human, a scientist, and my mother was a demon sorcerer who could really only turn invisible."

Mark shrugged. "Still sounds like an impressive talent." Suddenly he got an idea. "Hey…why don't we sneak in instead of paying for these rip-off tickets? They charge 9 bucks for a movie, 9 BUCKS!"

"…but sneaking in would be wrong, wouldn't it?"

"So now a DEMON has to tell me what's right and what's wrong? Come on, it's only one movie."

"I don't know, I-"

"Um, 'scuse me." Someone in a trucker hat and overalls tapped him on the shoulder. He had on a "Spider-Man" t-shirt. "Could you, uh, keep the line movin', mister?" The country bumpkin asked politely in a very friendly manner. Interestingly enough, he was Billy Bob's relative, Shin could tell, the man's blood ran through the boy. Mark groaned but moved up with Shin to the ticket counter. "All right, fine. Be that way." He said in a huff to Shin. "Spoil my fun."

They went up to the counter. "9 bucks, sir." The attendant asked.

Mark reached for his wallet. "Oh fu-"

"As Nick would say, watch your mouth."

"Sorry. I left my wallet at-"

"Here." The kid in the trucker hat said, giving them a 20. "Go ahead. I've got cash to burn, found an oil site right out in mah backyard, wouldja believe that?"

"Wow. Thank you." Shin said, shaking the country boy's hand.

(Kindness.)

The movie was awesome. Amazingly so. Shin and Mark walked out of the movie theater talking about it nonstop.

"And then he-"

"Absolutely amazing, that web-slinging-"

"Topher plays a great Eddie-"

"I'm not sure what I make of that whole change in clothing-"

"Oh, he's being Gothic."

"Gothic?"

"What you are, duh!"

"Huh?"

Mark turned to Shin and looked at him skeptically. "You really don't know what a Goth is?"

Shin blinked stupidly a few times. "No…"

"Sigh. Look, I gotta go with my family. Are you free tomorrow?"

"I suppose, yes."

"Well then meet me back here at the Commons tomorrow at 10 AM. Obviously I have to teach you a few things about how this place works…"

"This place?"

"Simsbury. Actually, I have a better idea. There's a party I'm having at Luna Pizza tonight at 6 PM, meet me there. I've invited all of my friends, including my girlfriend."

"Oh, you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately, she works a 10 hour shift at the McDonalds while I'm working at the "Borders" across the street for 12 hours a day and she's got Piano lessons early in the morning, but we figured out a way to make it work."

"How?"

"Well, we make sure to kiss at least once a day. She works Monday's, Tuesdays and Wednesdays and then bikes over to the "Borders", but on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays…" He grinned, and then added in a singsong voice, "I scooter to mah baaaaybeeeee!"

(Bonus points for the guy who figures out where I got THAT one from!)

At that moment a bunch of kids went driving by, all black. They were whooping and hollering as their car, all pimped out, went down the street. They stopped in front of Shin and Mark, looking the two over.

"…well, what we got here, boys?"

"Hey, I know you! You're that Lee kid! That Jew that came back to life! That s—t was straight up, y'heard? Name's Gosium. I gotta tell ya, y'all got cred now!"

"Uh, thanks." Shin said, a bit taken aback.

"Who's the Goth?" One in a backwards blue cap asked, eyebrow raised up.

"Shin Dell." Shin told the black kids. They looked him over a few times.

"Well nice meeting you, Mistuh Dell. We'd like to chill with you two, you seem a'ight, but we gots to bounce, y'heard?" With that, they took off, their stereo blasting "Biggie Smalls" and "50 Cent".

Shin looked back to Mark. "Well, they seem pretty nice, if not…well, rambunctious. Are they friends of yours?"

Mark looked a bit nervous. "No, just good acquaintances. There's a lot of good acquaintances I have at my school."

"So why not invite them? Let them become friends?"

"Well, you see, I uh…it's complicated, it's…well…"

Mark didn't say anything more about it. He just told Shin to meet him again at the Commons at 6. Shin agreed and headed off for Kay's.

But for some reason he couldn't stop thinking about Mark's attitude towards the black kids. Why didn't he want to invite them?

Why indeed...

Meanwhile, up in Heaven…

Richard was playing more with Raphael, who was showing him around Heaven. Gabriel was also joining in on the tour.

"This is the Hall of the Lambs." Gabriel explained. "Here we have all of the information on every single martyr and sacrificed soul that ever existed. All those that gave their lives up, who died in the name of God, all are here."

Richard pointed at a statue of a man surrounded by other humans that caught his attention. They seemed to be posing for a picture. "Hmm. Who's that? He's got a nice beawd."

"That's Nicholas II, Passion Bearer, surrounded by his family." Gabriel explained. "That is Saint Stephen, and that is...that is the one we'd hoped to get back for a long time…Judas Iscariot himself." He sighed. "Poor souls, all of them."

Raphael patted him on the shoulder. "It's hard. It's always hard, only being able to usually watch as the great story of the Earth unfolds. We do our job; it's what we live for! What we were created for!"

"But Nick told me and evewyone else that doing what you wewe cweated for and doing what you were MEANT fow wewe two entiwely diffwent things!"

Gabriel scratched his head. "Well…uh…um...Er, I guess that's true with humans, but uh…we kind of don't have that luxury, we…well, we're…"

"Did Nick ever tell you that you should do what you're supposed to do?"

"If it was a good thing, yeah!"

"Well obeying our Grand Father's commands is a good thing."

"But he also said that we need have fun once in a while!"

"Er…um…well, I'm uh…Raphael, help?"

Raphael however, was already gone, heading to the nearest heavenly snack stand. As it were, someone was right in front of the counter.

"Gimme eighteen dozen Pop-tarts!"

"What flavor?"

"Strawberry! And make them Frosted, please!" Judas Iscariot begged.

Raphael watched him scarf them down like Homer Simpson gobbled down doughnuts. "Woah, on a binge?"

"They're just so gooooood!" Judas sobbed happily. "Oh, mine taste buds hath never known such sugary goodness!"

Michael, who had stopped to get some sunflower seeds to munch on, looked at the scene. "What the? Raphael, you didn't give him any of your special brownies did you? He doesn't have The Munchies does he?"

"No, no! Look at his eyes! They're not bloodshot."

"…just checking. I have to go down to Earth to check up on something. Should be back in, oh, a few hours…"

"What's the problem?"

"Well apparently I heard from one of my contacts down on Earth that something crashed through holy ground, something that fell from the sky. They say it's important…"

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

GOING ON THE ROAD!

Sunday night, 8 PM, Valmont's house…

Having packed their things, both the "Good Guys" and "The Bad Guys with One Good Guy" all decided to head out on Monday morning. The question was not WHEN to go, but rather HOW to go.

"Hmm…" Valmont said, pacing the floor of his office. Nick, King and Sandi were all there with him, as well as the Enforcers. Hak Foo was doing push-ups on a very expensive Indian carpet.

"What am I going to use? Perhaps I should stick with my helicopters? They're always a good fallback."

"Naaaah! You should, like, TOTALLY use your limos!" Sandi said. "Then we'd like, be movie stars and stuff! Woohoo!"

"Well we can't use the Ferrari." Finn muttered. "The Wind Demon keeps taking off with it. Who knows WHAT he does with it?"

TEN BLOCKS AWAY, AT AN ABANDONED PARKING LOT…

"Woohoo! All right!" Xiao spun and fishtailed all around the parking lot, hands above his head as often as he could. Finally he came to a rest. "Oh, Ferrari…I don't know what I'd do without you…"

BGM: Sexy and romantic music

He let out a "hmm" as he brushed himself up against the wheel. Then he took his demon form and began to lick the dashboard. "Ooh yeah…" He said, twisting one of his nipples.

Then he took his loincloth off.

It got weird, man, I swear! REALLY weird!

BACK AT THE HOUSE…

"Sandi, no. We're not using a limousine." Valmont told her strictly.

"Aw, you're no fun." She pouted.

"And you're too rambunctious and you need to concentrate on your studies more!" Her father said, annoyed. "Honestly, Sandi! You don't understand that you're at a pivotal point in your life and your mother and I didn't raise you to be totally dependent-"

"YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME AT ALL!" Sandi suddenly screeched. Bawling, she ran out of the room. Nick watched her leave, feeling immense pity for her. King sighed. "I wish she wouldn't do that." "What, cry?" King rubbed his head. "No, screech, I have sensitive hearing…"

Valmont sat down in the huge chair behind his thick, solid mahogany desk and groaned, holding the palms of his hands into his eyes. "Ohhh…" Nick looked at the others. "Uh, I think we should leave him alone."

With that wise suggestion, they headed outside of the room, leaving Valmont alone in the room. He eventually lowered his hands and opened up a small drawer in the desk…

It was a photo…two of them, actually. And a picture made out of crayons. The photos showed a far younger Valmont dressed up in a tuxedo, standing by a very lovely-looking teenager with dark blond hair and a big smile. She and he were holding each other in a prom picture pose, both smiling happily. Valmont's hair wasn't in a ponytail but parted down the middle, hair hanging down the sides.

The next photo was from a hospital. An older version of the teenage girl from before was there, now a young woman with a babe in her arms. Valmont was there as well, with a ponytail this time. He looked overjoyed, as did the mother. They babe shared her mother's smile, her father's eyes, and was in the middle of a bubbly laugh, spit dancing on the end of it's lips.

The picture was a crayon drawing that had the words "Best dad ever" on the bottom. Above it was a lovingly drawn picture of Valmont in "stick figure form", without a nose and with bigger eyes than he should have and a very big smile. He only had a tie on. Behind the picture were the words "Happy Daddy's Day from Sandi" in poorly written script of red crayon.

Valmont didn't put the pictures or the photo down for what seemed to be a very long time. Then he closed his eyes and put his head back, looking up at the ceiling, staring high up.

Sandi retreated and headed up the stairs where her room was, wiping her tears away as she strode up the stairs and down her room's hallway quickly, in a huff…

And that's when she saw Shendu AKA "James Damon" , standing outside of the bathroom, having just finished his business. He turned and looked at her.

"Oh, what a nice surprise!" He exclaimed. It was a nice surprise. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He wasn't sure what to make of her, she...puzzled him. As a demon, he had certain urges. For the most part, demons contained these urges and knew when to give in to them. He generally had indulged in many, MANY of them over his life. Although in some aspects he hadn't at all.

For example he liked to avoid killing children when possible. He also didn't think kindly of Xiao Fung's pansexual habits, they were frankly quite disgusting. He still hated Jackie Chan and would dream up lovely fantasies at night of disembowling him and the "stupid Billy Goat", but he couldn't very well tell anyone THAT stuff. And most of all, he couldn't bring himself to say that had a sort of grudging respect and appreciation (though he didn't want to admit it) when it came to Valmont and his men. He could respect how persistent they were, and how easily they adapted to other aspects of life. And now they had everything they'd ever wanted, something he admired…power.

But the girl…the girl was different…he didn't mind talking about how…how he admired her beauty, and her simple purity. One urge inside of him was insisting that he rape and behead her. But whenever he thought about that, the next urge that came forward was to kill himself if he did that.

Yes, she puzzled him. She didn't hate him OR fear him. And that…that was…

Nice.

Yes, it was nice. Nice not to be feared or hated by someone like her, like someone period! And he had a feeling even if she knew what he was, she wouldn't fear or hate him the way so many people did.

While he was standing and looking at her, contemplating, Sandi looked back into his eyes. There was something really, really cute about him, and she felt he was different than the others. A lot different. He felt trustworthy.

"Can you keep a secret?" She asked him.

Shendu blinked a few times. He brushed his ponytail a little. "Oh, yes." He answered. "What kind?"

Sandi opened the door to her room. "Follow me." She said, leading him inside.

Sandi Valmont's room was large. It had a huge bed with a pink blanket and lovely white sheets and pillows. The wall was creamy in color, with a smooth, carpeted floor, VERY large windows (opened up) and there were many posters and works of art around her room. Some home-made and beautifully painted. Sandi seemed to adore these things around her room…

And the common theme was that of an island state off the coast of California.

Hawaii.

"See that? I painted that. It's a luau. And those posters teach you how to do hula dances."

Shendu looked around. It was amazing. A crystal chandelier made of diamond, paintings of volcanoes, beautiful jungles and long beaches, diving and water sport equipment, a huge map of each of the islands, heck, she'd even found art made from coconuts!

Sandi beamed. "You like it? It's pretty, huh?"

BGM: Part of Your World, as performed by Miley Cyrus

Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the girl…

The girl who has everythiiiing?

Look at this trove, treasure untold!

How many wonders can one bedroom hold?

Looking around here you think…

"Sure…she's got EVERYTHING!"

I've got gadgets and gizmo's aplenty!

I've got whosits and whatsits galore!

You want thingamabobs? I got twenty!

But who cares…no big deal…I want mooooore!

She ran up to the wall, brushing the posters.

I wanna be where those people are!

I wanna see, see some hula dancing!

Walking around on their creamy and skillful feeeeeet!

If I stay 'round here I won't get too far!

Great legs are required for jumping and dancing,

I want stroll and dance around all of their streeeets!

She ran out of the room, twirling, heading for the stairs. Shendu followed after. She got to the stairwell and slid down.

Out where they walk, out where they run,

Out where they play all day in the sun…

Oh Hawaii, wish I could be…

Part of your woooorld!

She walked outside with Shendu right behind, going to the pool and removing her clothes, save for her shorts.

What would I pay to spend a day…

Warm in their waters?

What would I give, if I could live…

Out on their saaaands?

She suddenly jumped in, then dove back up, doing a backstroke.

Out on that land, they understand…

And they don't reprimand their daughters!

Bright young women, sick of swimming…

She jumped out with a huge leap, kicking off the bottom of the pool, the water sparkling all around her as she landed on the side.

Ready to staaaand!

"Oh my…"

Sandi then ran to the house, jumping on top of a window sill, and then jumping up onto the chimney's side, grasping onto a brick. She began to climb up.

I'm ready to know what those people know!

Ask all my questions and get some answers!

Wanna go to a luau, and watches as their fires just

Buuuurn!

She reached the top of the chimney, and walked onto the roof. Shendu followed right behind her. She twirled around, hands on her chest, as if holding her heart and keeping it from fluttering around her as she pirouetted in the sunlight, water whizzing off her liked diamonds flying from her body.

Wasting my turn…

Wasting my turn…

Wasting my turn…

To beeee…

Out where they walk, out where they run,

Out where they play all day in the sun…

Oh Hawaii, wish I could be…

Part of your woooorld!

Shendu watched her, eyes widening as she stopped, stretching her arms out to the sky, pleading to the Heavens.

"So beautiful…"

Out where they walk, out where they run,

Out where they play all day in the sun…

Oh Hawaii, wish I could be…

Part of your woooorld!

(Music ends.)

MEANWHILE…

Jade had HAD it.

Because Jade had so insisted on going with Jackie and the others around the world, he'd gone to her school to get papers that would allow her to stay out of school for as long as it took, but which would also allow the teachers to send Jade homework and class work via fax. But that wasn't the only thing that annoyed her.

Drew and his friends had SOMEHOW found out and were now making fun of her, asking "Are ya gonna go fight more ninjas" and all that crap. Worse still, they'd focused in on her friendship with Nick, calling him her "new boyfriend". Nick was really nice and sweet and he sure could kick ass, but he was NOT her boyfriend!

…right?

Anyway, Drew had been asking a certain, very annoying question. "Do you like him because he's got a big-" Drew would then grab his crotch and raise his eyebrows suggestively. "You know…? Because I can top it! So come on, what's his Nick's d—k like?"

The question he kept asking, that had REALLY gotten her mad. So that was probably why Jade did what she did.

On Monday morning, before anyone else got up, Jade snuck out of bed, sneaking down from her window. She had a backpack on with the instruments of her revenge inside, and a "I'm going to get that sonofabitch" look on her face.

She rode her bike to Drew's house, specifically, to a shortcut alley that led right to his backyard. She knew that he and his family were all asleep. Grinning, Jade parked her bike and walked through the alley towards the backyard…

HOLY CRAP.

Someone had already left a "present", had committed a prank much better than the one she'd had planned…although it was MUCH more disgusting. She'd been planning to egg his house. Someone had apparently killed a sheep (violently) and dumped the body in Drew's backyard. The stink was wafting towards her. She decided to forget about the back of the house and move onto the front.

HOLY CRAP!

Someone had gotten the front too! A message was burnt into his front yard: "YOU SUCK OUT LOUD!" had been written, and the letters were smoking. Jade decided to quickly head back to her house and ran back to her bike.

"Lemme guess…" a voice said as she approached it. A voice from above. "You wanted to prank that little idiot?"

"Well you're kinda late, Jade. We got that a-hole good!"

Jade looked up and saw Nick flying on Hsi's back, both parties grinning in a slightly evil fashion. "Yeah, I think Drew will have a heck of a time explaining what happened out front…although I wish Hsi hadn't killed that poor sheep." Nick said, regret seeping into his voice. "It was…screaming…"

"Oh, it was going to die anyway. I think it would be happy knowing that it would be used for a just punishment rather than for some stupid mortal's dinner. Don't tell me you're one of those…what's the term? Tree-hugger?" The Sky Demon asked.

Nick shrugged. "Sometimes, yeah. I just don't enjoy seeing anything in pain."

"Which is why I made you look away and plug your ears. Now then…" Hsi landed on the ground and Nick hopped off. "Once more we meet, Jade. I had to give Nick a ride, his flying skills aren't fully working too well. All he can do is hover about a bit. It seems his non-elemental skills still leave much to be desired, they're all greatly diminished."

"Yeah, but they're going to be coming back in full with a little time! I've managed to keep SOME spark!" Nick said happily. "Watch! BRING THE HEAT." A small flame popped up in his hands. "Good huh?" Then he sighed. "But for some reason, I can't really get my powers working to full power unless I'm emotionally charged. I think my powers can only manifest through my aura that way…that is, until I get some decent honing of skills done. But going around the world will be good training, don't you think?"

"I can't believe you trust this creep." Jade muttered. "He's-"

"He's my friend. Misguided and a bit perverted, but my friend. Now if you'll excuse us please…" Nick hopped back on Hsi and the two took off through the air. Jade "harrumphed" and then got on her bike, biking back to the shop.

Speaking of the shop, Jackie and the others were listening to Uncle in the living room, all crowded around.

"Uncle, tell us more about this "Chosen" prophecy."

Uncle sighed. He was sitting in a big chair and dusting his glasses. "Do you know NOTHING? Must Uncle tell you everything? Oh well." He rose up. "Many, many ages ago, the Heavenly Host ruled freely and without any true threat. However, when evil sprouted up from within, a great civil war resulted."

Uncle cleared his throat. "One more thing! After this great struggle, the chief instigator of it decided that he could no longer freely attack his hated enemy like he'd done before, for he would surely lose. He needed a plan. So he separated himself, body, mind, soul and heart, some into more parts than others. He appointed Lord Demons that would be the embodiment of the powers of the greatest sins, and set his sights towards conquering not only OUR worlds, but countless others."

"Ay caramba!" Paco exclaimed. Uncle raised a hand.

"One MORE thing! The Heavens were aware of this. They called upon an ancient power, as ancient and mighty as anything in the world. The name escapes me…but remnants of it remain everywhere, in the imaginations of the people. This power could bring that which did not yet exist to life…the power to create as God. This power was sentient and decreed that should the worlds ever be threatened by great disaster, then a hero would be chosen to defend them."

Uncle smiled. "I remember a long time ago…when a good friend told me there would be…a chosen one."

FLASHBACK!

Uncle is standing in front of an old man with long whiskers who's completely bald and dressed up in a karate gi.

The man clears his throat. "Are you ready to hear what I must tell you?"

"…yes, master. Are you sure I'm ready?"

"Hot-chaaa! Do not question me! I tell you now…there will BE…a chosen one."

PRESENT…

Uncle nodded. "And then…he told me…of the significance…"

BACK TO THE PAST AGAIN!

"One more thing! It will be very significaaaaaant!"

BACK TO THE PRESENT!

"And then…" Uncle's face turned grim. "He killed the dog."

FLASHBACK YET AGAIN!

Master Do closes his eyes, grunting. "Er…uh!"

SFX: HUGE fart.

SFX: Dog whimpers

SFX: Body hits floor hard.

THE PRESENT…IN THE KITCHEN…

"Okay, we now officially know too much." Captain Black said. He looks around. Somehow they were inside the kitchen. "Wait…how did we get in here?"

"Oh, but you won't believe what happened next!" Uncle says. Everything begins to go all flashbacky, but Captain Black says "No, uh, we're good, right?"

"Yeah, uh-huh."

"We're fine."

"We don't need to hear any more."

"We get the picture."

"Is claro, hombre."

"Very well. Now fetch Uncle tea!"

Captain Black rubbed his chin. "You know, I COULD call in help from the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense on this."

Everyone blinked. "There's a Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense?" Jackie asked.

"I KNEW IT!" Jade gleefully exclaimed. She turned to Paco. "Pay up." Paco grumbled and handed over 5 bucks.

"The Bureau, like Special Unit 2, has been kept a secret from me for a while…until last year I didn't know anything about it, but since I've had experience dealing with magical…er, "problems"…they let me in on it. They're used to dealing with demons and devils and lots of other-"

"Uncle does not even trust bank with moneeeeey! Why should he trust THIS branch?!?"

Black groaned. "Sorry I asked."

Jade was still smiling. "How come you're so happy? It was only 5 bucks." Paco muttered.

"Oh, I'll tell you later." Jade snickered.

And a few minutes later…not too far away…

"Yaaaawn! Another day, another-OH MY LORDY! DREW! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR FRONT LAWN?"

"FRONT LAWN NOTHIN', CHECK OUT THE BACK!"

"DREWWWWW! GET YOUR SKINNY ASS IN HERE!"

"Aw, now what the f—k I do?!?"

"Don't you dis' you parents, boy! Honey, go get mah belt!"

"Oh, crap!"

A few minutes later, Drew ran out, a huge welt on his butt. He moaned in pain. "That son of a b---hing b---h, Jade! This is HER fault! Ooh, if I could get back at her…"

"I can help you with that…" A voice spoke. Drew looked around. What the?

He saw his friends suddenly, standing right behind him, with a kid that closely resembled that new kid, "James Damon", only he looked slightly meaner and his hair color was different. "My name is Xan…I'm here to…assist you. Your friends wanted to help you out too, and get back at the boy who so embarrassed them AND you. So tell me…are you interested?"

Drew blinked. "In what?"

Xan held up a contract with two pens. "Sign at the bottom, and you'll get many powerful resources at your disposal…enough to take down Jade and get your revenge. Pick the blue pen and you go back to your life and believe whatever you want to believe. You pick the red pen and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

Drew blinked a few more times, slowly. "Hmm…"

"What's it going to be, Drew?"

"………all right. Hand me that pen. I'll do anything to get even with that chink b---h."

Xan smiled cruelly. "Excellent, my dear friend. Excellent. And you'll be in good company too…very, VERY good company…"

Saying goodnight to everyone, especially his "partner in prank", Hsi Wu, Nick climbed into bed and conked out. Tomorrow as a big day, big plans would be made! He couldn't wait. In fact, the excitement kept him up for a good hour and twenty minutes before he finally conked out at 10:05.

That's when things got weird…

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…!"

"…?"

"!!!"

"???"

"!!!...I said, wake up!!!"

"…? Wh…whuh? Hu-whuh?"

"WAKE. UP."

Nick opened his eyes.

"WOAH!!!" He shouted.

He was in still in bed, still in his pajamas, but the bed had been transported to what could only be described as…the event horizon of someplace frightening. All around him colors of dark purple and black, with a fine line of gold, all surrounded a huge, empty black void that was sucking in the tiny little pebbles of the ground, fine dust from the air, it was amazing that HE wasn't being sucked in! All it felt to him was like a breeze. But what frightened him was that the place he was on, what the bed was upon, was a floating chunk of land above an endless sea…there was no other land to be found. And in front of him, sitting on a big, plushy chair, looking up at the pure black sky, was…was himself.

"There's no stars left. All gone, all lost…too bad, really. I like looking at the stars, after all…" He grinned at Nick with eyes that had a dark tinge to them, something…not normal. "I AM you."

"Uh…"Nick hopped out of bed, rubbing his eyes. "This can't be real."

"Oh it's real. This is what'll happen to this world. The Big Crunch, all life, all existence pulled into the great void, the final end of all things! And then…KA-CRUNCH! Nothingness…and then it'll explode all over again, just like it did before back when He got the ball rolling. But I've said too much. You won't be around to see it. Nobody will, not if we have our way."

"We?" Nick asked, tilting his head slightly

"Those that oppose the Heavenly Host aren't just restricted to Hell. There are other figures that are…well, fracking tired of the whole cycle. We're tired of being limited to what they dare call "existence" and tired of being manipulated and USED without any respect. And, interestingly enough…" The other Nick grinned, pointing right at Nick. "Your power's something that can really and truly break the cycle." His other self explained.

"My power? As the Game Master?"

"Correct!"

"But HOW?" Nick wanted to know. His other self raised a finger.

"Ah-ah-ah! I'm not telling you! Do I look like a Bond villain? Suffice to say, I need you out of the way so that I can live a full life. Nothing REALLY personal-okay, that's not true. Fighting myself is as personal as it gets!" His other self laughed and then grinned in a frightening fashion.

"Too bad you left Hell so soon! You should have gotten used to it…because that's where I'm sending you!" With that, he held up his watch and snarled something harsh in a Satanic tongue. What appeared to be pure purple/black energy spread from the watch to cover his body, and Nick saw it EATING away at him! He almost rushed forward to help, but then saw the horrible truth…it was ripping apart the illusion that Nick had been seeing…his other self didn't look quite like him after all…

He was frightening, actually. His hair was pure white, that wasn't so bad, but his eyes…his eyes had no light, no SOUL in them. And…and they twinkled with a cruel light. Their irises were golden, and his mouth had very pearly white teeth that were almost sharpened into points. His skin was the color that had spread over him, that freaky purple/black mix, but tattoos covered his upper body in blood, real blood. Nick could only see them on his arms and his front chest though, he wore a pure black vest on his body and his pants were black as well. He was wearing dark purple sneakers and black socks, and…and he was wearing a necklace. Not Lilo's necklace, thank God, but something else, what appeared to be a crystallized orb of blood. The tattoo on the front of his body was written in Angelic script, and it was the symbol for "N" inversed. The watch on his wrist was almost identical to Nick's own, only it glowed bright red.

"By the way, you can call me Dark Nick, and I am gonna eat your dripping heart." His other self said in sort of cheerful matter-of-fact way.

BGM: Bruises, by Unloco

Nick looked down at his watch. He quickly hit the button combination for "Costumes" and transformed into his "Fighting Love" outfit. "Let's do this!" He shouted, rushing forward, throwing a punch. With glee, Dark Nick slammed his fist into Nick's shoulder just as Nick's punch almost reached his face. Nick was sent flying back and he skidded on the ground, staggering up. The wind was picking up…

"You're kind of weak." Dark Nick said. "You still haven't mastered that form yet…"

"KIYAAAHHH!" Nick shouted, jumping forward with a kick. Dark Nick simply jumped back and then, when Nick's foot hit the ground, he swung his fist, striking Nick in the face AGAIN. Nick fell to the ground, groaning.

Pleeeaaaase leave me aloooooooone!
For IIIIII…cannot let this goooooooo!
It's the lie…that I live…
Everything…that I give…

"You're going to die." Dark Nick told Nick simply. Nick suddenly screamed.

"SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUPPPPP!"

Dark Nick looked surprised as Nick stood up, singing softly.

Pleeeeaaaase tell me that I have grooooooown!
For IIIII…have bruises left to shoooooow!
And I fall…in between…everything…let me see…

Dark Link grinned and rushed forward. "THAT'S more like it!" He shouted, throwing punches at Nick, who kept jumping around, avoiding them. Dark Nick sang out as well as he punched.

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Nick suddenly grabbed Dark Nick's arm and hurled him to the left, then jumped forward and kneed him in the stomach. Dark Nick let out an involuntary gasp of pain.

'Cause I will never…let you knooooow!

Never know, never know, never know!

Then he picked Dark Nick up and began to twirl him around and around. "LEMME GO!" Dark Nick shouted in fear.

'Cause I will never…let you goooooo!

Let it go! Let it go! Let it goooooooooooooo!

He finally DID, throwing Dark Nick into the bed. Dark Nick hit it hard and shouted in pain as his back nearly broke. He staggered up and then held up a single hand, and a bolt of energy shot through Nick's chest. Nick fell to his knees, coughing heavily. Dark Nick began to dance in victory, wiggling his butt. "S-U-C-C-E-S-S! That's the-huh?" Nick was…whispering something…

"Please…leave me alooooooone…"

He wasn't bleeding? What the?

"How? Unless you-?!?"

Suddenly he stood up and let loose a roar, a mighty cry that shook through the whole area. The wind ripped and roared mightily, the black hole was sucking in almost everything now! Nick's aura flared up through the air and sky, and suddenly it entered the black hole, ripping it apart from within, and everything exploded into a million points of light…

Let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see…

Suddenly there was nothingness all around…just…white. Dark Nick looked around. Where was?

Movement to his side!

Let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see!

A fist slammed into the side of his face, he'd moved too late.

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Come on, get up!
Let me see your bruises!

Come on, get up…


"And let me see your bruises!"

With that last line, Nick did a mighty uppercut to Dark Nick's chin, and his dark side fell to the ground. In that moment, everything shattered, and a blinding flash of light filled Nick's senses…

He was back in bed, back at Valmont's mansion, and it was morning. And there, on the floor, was a panting him, but no longer looking fearful. Now he looked just like Nick did, only his eyes had that dark tinge to them.

"Not…not bad, you…you're worthy and ready! I'm…glad!"

He stood up, brushing himself off. "Good thing you DIDN'T lose! If you had, I would have died along with you."

"…wait, what?" Nick asked, surprised.

"I'm your dark side! Uh DUUUUH!" Dark Nick explained. "But that doesn't mean I'm EVIL! I need you to stay alive. Just like your light half needs you. If you go, we both fail to exist. I may have been forcibly evoked into existence by the forces of darkness, but I care more about self-preservation than I do about killing you."

"Oh, okay…I think I get it." Nick said, nodding.

Dark Nick nodded as well. "Just remember, evil is essentially parasitic. It NEEDS Pure Good to survive. Pure evil in itself is just good corrupted. However Light and Dark are elemental, and aren't always just aligned with good or evil. If I was a mere force of elemental might I could have killed you without worrying, but I'm not, I'm a part of you, and you NEED your parts of you. So take care. And uh, you need to figure out what to do about Jade."

Nick blinked stupidly. "What? What about Jade?"

Dark Nick smiled. "She's nice, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she's sweet." Nick admitted.

"And HOT!" Dark Nick added, getting a nosebleed as an aura-presented image of Jade appeared in nothing but a bathing suit. Nick frowned and a moment later his own raimbow-like aura lashed out from his mood necklace, popping the little "bubble-image" that had been made.

"She's FRIENDLY." He said.

"And HOT!" Dark Nick said again. This time a picture came of her in the shower. Nick popped this one even quicker than LAST time!

"And UNDERSTANDING."

"But mostly HOT!" THIS time the picture was her taking off her bra. Luckily it didn't last more than two seconds.

"I HAVE a girlfriend!" Nick snapped angrily. The mood necklace shot out a huge hammer made of aura, which whacked Dark Nick on the head, making his head swim and the image disappear. Getting the point, Dark Nick rubbed his head and regarded Nick silently as the teen glared in total disapproval at his dark side.

"…we'll talk later. But think about what I've said. Your light side will be here to talk with you in a few days or so…" With that, Dark Nick bowed, and then vanished slowly, fading away. Nick rubbed his eyes. "Okay…I feel REALLY wiped. I need a sugar burst. Hot Chocolate! Where do we keep the hot chocolate?"

Then he realized something. "Your light side will be here to talk with you in a few days or so…"

Now, his dark side had fought him. He'd kind of expected that…but what would his LIGHT side look like? Was this good…or bad? Being dark or being "light" didn't always mean being "evil" or "good" respectively. Some of the most evil people in the world had committed horrible acts of evil in the name of "the greater good".

Nick would have worried more, but then he felt a pang of hunger and immediately bolted down the stairs, heading to the kitchen to get a nice mug of hot chocolate. As he poured the mix into it he noticed that there was a cartoon on it…a middle-aged woman was smiling politely…a bit TOO politely. The caption above her read as such:

"Hmm…"This mug contains scalding hot coffee. If you make a sexist remark I will spill it on your crotch. Have a nice day."…this must be Mrs. Valmont's." Nick thought out loud, and put the kettle on.

About an hour later at Valmont's mansion, inside the kitchen, King explained the plan. Back at Uncle's shop, Captain Black explained THEIR plan, also in the kitchen.

"Now it is very, very simple. The Bell of the Heavens has been split…"

"Into 16 pieces. Which means…"

"We can divide our forces…"

"And ensure that it's kept out of the wrong hands. Jackie, you and I…"

"I shall be going to Hollywood with Mr. Valmont…"

"And Paco and El Toro can be going to Kansas…"

"Dai Gui, you and Ratso shall go together…"

"Viper and Uncle can handle…"

"New York awaits you, Tso Lan and Finn…"

"Torhu and Jade, Egypt's lovely this time of year…"

"Both Nick and the Sky Demon shall head over."

"And then we'll regroup…"

"And figure out who will be sent to where. Any…"

"Questions?"

There were none. Captain Black nodded. "Right. Remember everyone…"

"This is serious business." King insisted. "We cannot…"

"And we will not fail, not if we work together."

"All right, then…"

"Let's head out…"

"The world awaits us!"

HOLLYWOOD:

"The J-Team": Jackie Chan and Augustus Black

"King's Men": King and Julian Ellis Valmont

KANSAS:

"The J-Team": El Toro Fuerte and Paco

"King's Men": Dai Gui and Clancy Ratso

NEW YORK CITY:

"The J-Team": Viper and Uncle Chan

"King's Men": Tso Lan and Adam Finn

EGYPT:

"The J-Team": Tohru and Jade

"King's Men": Nick Grey and Hsi Wu

OPENING CREDITS!

(Scene opens to Nick on the hill from before.)

Yeeeaaaaaaaah, oohhhh!

(He grins and speaks at the camera, counting off in front of it.)

"One, two, three!"

(He gets up and flies through the air, over San Fran, laughing.)

Yeeeaaaaaaaaah, ohh-ohh-ohh, woah-woah!

(Scene cuts to Nick standing in the middle of two groups, Jackie and company and the Dark Hand and the Demons. Both are arguing at him to come over to THEIR side. He groans.)

Wish I could make everybody happy,
But so far it hasn't worked that way!
Everybody has expectations,
Oh yeah, oh yeah!

(Scene cuts now to Jade and Sandi who pass each other in the hallways, slapping hands and walking off in different directions. Nick, Drago, The Sky Demon and the Fire Demon all go "ahhh" as they walk off.)

If you're lookin' for picture perfect…
I'm the girl who's gonna let-you-down!
Everybody has expectations…
Oh yeah, oh yeah!

(Back to the arguing scene! Suddenly the earth cracks open and hellspawn crawl out. Nick slaps his forehead.)

I'll be the one, the first to admit…that my life's under construction! Yeaaah…

(He points at them. "CHARGE!" He shouts. Now we see Jackie and company kicking butt, with their names shown above each of them.)

I know I'm God invention…
He knows I need attention!
Getting closer, closer everydaaaaay!
Eeeeeveeeen with misconceptions…
God knows my intentions!
Getting closer,
More like Him each daaay!
God's not, God's not,
God's not through with me yet! Through with me yet!

(Raphael carries Richard on his back on a piggyback ride while Michael goes over some battle plans. Uriel is skinning an apple and glaring at Richard while Azrael watches calmly, gazing on in a sinister fashion. Gabriel suddenly sounds his horn, the camera zooms right in…)

Every day that I live I'm learning…
How your mercy can make me free!
From all of my expectations,
Oh yeah, oh yeah!

(Back to the fighting scene. Nick points at the Dark Hand and the Demons. "Get 'em!" He shouts.)

I'll be the one, the first to admit, that my life's under construction!
Oh, oh yeah!

(Now THEY'RE fighting as well, and their names are shown above each of them!)

I know I'm God invention…
He knows I need attention!
Getting closer, closer everydaaaaay!
Eeeeeveeeen with misconceptions…
God knows my intentions!
Getting closer,
More like Him each daaay!
God's not, God's not,
God's not through with me yet! Through with me yet!

(Now the scene cuts to Nick, alone, just outside of a church. He kneels down and picks up his grandpa's walking stick. He holds it close to himself and begins to speak.)

"Even though I may try to become what you want me to be…"

(He hears faint laughter.)

"When I am less, He is more, He is faithful completely…completely."

(He opens his eyes and looks to the heavens, closing his eyes again.)

Even though I may try to become what you want me to be…yeah, yeah!
When I am less, He is more He is faithful completely!

(He begins to spin his stick, spinning it faster and faster…)

Completely…

Completely!

(Finally he jumps up into the air, going to the top of the church, addressing EVERYONE!)

"I know I'm God invention…
He knows I need attention!
Getting closer, closer everydaaaaay!"

(Jade and Sandi cheer and shout along!)

"Getting closer everyday!"

(Scene now cuts to Nick on a stage, singing into the mike with Sandi and Jade. Shin is on the bass, Richard on the guitar, King on the drums!)

Eeeeeveeeen with misconceptions…
God knows my intentions!
Getting closer,
More like Him each daaay!
God's not, God's not,
God's not through with me yet! Through with me yet!

God's not through with me!

God's not, God's not,
God's not through with me yet!

(Scene cuts back to the hill. Nick whistles and everyone lines up back to the hill that overlooks San Fran.)

God's not through with me, yeeeeeetttt!

God's not through with me, yeeeeeetttt!

(Nick grins and salutes yet again. The title of the story/show appears along with the words "SEASON THREE". Everyone makes a funny face as a camera clicks on the last note of the song.)