Told you I'd be quick:) It's a little short, but full of Avengers quality time, so I hope I'll be forgiven. I've been made aware that many of you read this during class, so I do apologize if I get you in trouble with this chapter.

I have a feeling you might burst out in the latter half, so prepare your bodies.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. I do own Lily. She's the one with the attractive ears.

_-x-_

Saying my heart was in my throat was a gross understatement. More accurately, my heart was in my mouth and my lungs were stuck in my esophagus.

Because it's Tony.

And I hated Tony at first. I hated him a whole lot.

But right in that moment, I thought Tony was the greatest freaking guy on the planet. Tony was amazing. Tony was perfect. Nat can close the portal. This can all end right now, but we'd lose Tony.

And hamburgers if I'd let that happen.

Tony entered the portal, and we waited.

I'm not sure what we waited for. Maybe an explosion, maybe the alien leader, maybe Tony Stark burnt to a crisp.

"Hold off as long as you can," Steve said into his communicator.

And right when we couldn't hold off any longer, he came through.

That –

"Son of a gun."

- Exactly. Thanks Steve.

"He's not slowing down."

And he wasn't. My heart re-entered my mouth.

Thor prepared his hammer, and even swung towards the limp body, but ultimately, Tony had a similar experience to mine.

A big, crushing Hulk hug that is pleasingly awkward and embarrassingly comfortable.

He was laid down on the pavement, unmoving and oblivious.

I wanted to smack him, scream at him, punch his gut – anything. Anything that would wake him up.

The Hulk apparently had a similar thought process to mine, because in the next moment, he roared louder than Thor appreciating a toaster.

"Whoah," Tony's eyes opened quickly, despite the weight of his perfect eyelashes. "What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."

"We won," Steve smiled.

"Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma?" he looked up at us.

We shook our heads, smiling.

"There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it."

Tony's back. That's fo'sho. I forgot how much I love that bastard.

After pulling Tony off the floor, we slumped over to the door of Stark Tower and entered ground level.

His employees started clapping and cheering, regardless of the way he swatted them away, trying to find the elevator.

We squeezed in the lift together, excluding the Hulk, who preferred climbing.

"You're dripping. You need to wash that thing," Steve said, motioning towards my leg, which was slowly streaming down my leg and splashing onto the carpet.

"The carpet is soggy anyway," Clint added.

Heeding Steve's words, I moved to the bathroom to wash my ruddy leg. The bandage was soaked and for the time being, my doctor was green.

Loki was crushed into a hole that fit him surprisingly well. I didn't even try to figure out how he got there. Or look at him, for that matter.

Now, he's not trying to kill me, which makes him scarier than ever.

I snatched up the Second Aid Kit and washed off the outside of the bandage in the bathroom. I hesitated in pulling it off, but decided to suck it up and get it over with.

Honestly, I almost blacked out from looking at it. It was so disgusting, I convinced myself I'd bleed out right then and there. There wasn't even that much blood, but goodness. I'm allowed to have my dramatic moments.

With adequate pressure, a level head, and a full roll of toilet paper, I wasn't leaking anymore.

I covered it in a fresh bandage and reassembled the kit. Splashing cold water on my face, I decided my teeth needed brushed, and quickly.

Puking three times doesn't exactly give you good breath.

_-x-_

After scaring Loki back into his hole, the team had crashed on the couches. Tony's stomach was making noises audible from across the room. He'd been promised shawarma, but his giant ego and style complex induced a problem with taking the Hulk out with him.

"Sooo. How do we turn it off?" he asked, staring at the big green man, who was sitting on the floor.

"I don't know. I doubt it has an off switch or anything."

"Can we stop calling him it?" I pouted, taking a seat next to Thor, who immediately laid his head on my lap.

"How does he usually change back?" Steve asked, his face twisting into a confused expression.

"Last time he fell through the roof of a warehouse," I said with a grimace.

"Ouch."

"Well, we are on the top floor," Tony said, grinning mischievously.

"Yeah, no. That's not going to happen."

"We could hit him in the head with a board," Natasha said bluntly.

"Ha, be my guest."

"I HAVE A THEOREM TO PROPOSE," Thor spoke up. After much deliberation, he gave consent for me to braid his hair.

"We're listening."

"PERHAPS IF WE MAKE THE ANGRY BEAST HAPPY, HE WILL REVERT TO HIS ORIGINAL FORM."

"How do we make him happy?" Steve asked, his face remaining all confused and adorable.

"HIS HUMAN FORM IS AMUSED BY SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTATION."

"Hey, Jarvis?" Tony looked up at his ceiling.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Deadbolt all entrances to the labs."

"Yes, Sir."

"Instead of knocking him out, we should just put him to sleep," Steve suggested calmly.

"I'm out of tranquilizer arrows," Clint said with a slight frown.

"Check the cabinet," Tony said with shifty eyes.

Clint moved into the adjoining kitchen, trying to find a strong sedative.

"There are at least a dozen jazz albums on my iPod. They make most people sleepy," I said, remembering how quickly Phil fell asleep the last time he listened.

"Are we talking swing, or combo, or standards…?" Steve asked, obviously interested.

"Big band, all the way, man."

Steve smiled in appreciation. "Nice. I say we try that."

"No. I failed the Kenny G challenge in the first 20 seconds," Tony yelled, making a disgusted face.

"It's not Kenny-,"

"Whatever it is, we're not doing it."

"We could just wait until he wears himself out."

"Like that'll ever happen."

"Found the tranquilizer," Clint called back, slowly walking into the living room. "Who's gonna do it?"

"You are," Tony pointed straight at me.

"Me?"

"Yeah, she probably should," Clint agreed.

"Why should I do it?" being the weakest person in the room, it seemed like a horrible idea.

"Because he likes you," Tony said, batting his eyelashes at me.

"I'd like to keep it that way. Thor should do it," I pointed at the giant man in my lap.

"ME?" he asked, sitting up and ruining the braid I was working on.

"No, the other Thor on this planet."

"Be careful, Norway and Sweden are full of Thors and Lokis," Tony said, wagging his finger.

"How do you know?" Nat asked, raising her eyebrows.

"He probably looked them up in a phonebook," Clint smirked.

"HOW DO YOU SUGGEST I ADMINISTER SAID TRANQUILIMAMIZER?"

"You could tackle him," Steve suggested.

"Try slamming him into the ground repeatedly," Loki yelled, groaning slightly.

"You! Shut up!"

"Just do it as fast as possible," Tony said, wanting to get this over with.

"Where's the dart?"

"I got it."

"Who keeps tranquilizers in their cabinet?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Don't judge."

"GIVE ME THE TRANQUILITIZIZER, BROTHER BARTON."

"That's how every sentence should start."

"Are we really doing this?" I asked, much more pleased with the thought of waiting for him to change back on his own.

"Of course we are! We can't take that thing out to eat with us!"

"He's not a thing!"

"WHERE SHALL I INJECT?"

"Try the butt!"

"NO! Not there!"

An incredibly loud roar was heard on all seven continents.

"God, he has no fear." Given that Thor has no fear, he ended up wrestling a dozing off Hulk.

"HE'S DOWN!" Thor finally yelled from underneath the big green one. Thor was trapped, and probably unable to breathe well, but he didn't complain.

"God, get him out!" Nat yelled, pulling on the Hulk's feet in an attempt to get him off.

"I can't lift him up," Steve said, pulling at the shoulders. Clint joined him, to no avail.

"Help them," Tony nudged my shoulder.

"You help them," I said, nudging him back.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'd be a whole lot of help," he rolled his eyes.

"You'd be a lot more help than me."

Steve, Clint, and Natasha had managed to lift the Hulk a couple of inches, letting Thor stick his head up enough to breathe.

"Roll him over."

"NO! STOP! NAKED!" Steve yelled, letting go of him.

Apparently, his pants had ripped during Thor's endeavor. What a perverted sentence.

"Get a blanket," Clint said to me.

I obliged, getting Tony's favorite yellow blanket.

Tony didn't like this. "'Whaa, that's my blanket!"

"Oh come on, it's just for a minute."

"Are you okay under there?" Nat yelled to Thor.

"VERILY."

"What do we do now?"

"Wait for him to change back, I guess."

"What's the average shrinking time?"

"Let's Google it," I deadpanned.

"Good idea," Tony pointed at me. "Jarvis?"

"Damn it, I was joking."

"Zero search results, sir."

"We're just waiting then."

"When I get back from missions, I count my bruises to pass time," Clint murmured numbers softly, pointing at his busted up arm.

Nat rolled her eyes. "Don't start."

"May I have assistance getting up, please?" Loki moaned.

"No! Shut up!"

"In exactly ten minutes, I am going to get shawarma if he comes or not," Tony yelled, frustrated beyond belief.

"I BELIEVE I SHALL JOIN YOU, IF I AM ABLE TO GET OUT."

"What the hell is shawarma?" Clint asked, his stomach growling also.

"It's heavenly nectar," Tony smiled, closing his eyes for effect.

"It's food, dumbass," Nat corrected.

"Hold on, I think he's shrinking," Clint said, noticing the fading green color.

"God, took him long enough! Let's go!" Tony shrieked.

"Give him a minute," I said, watching the transformation.

"No more minutes. We're leaving now."

"He's almost done."

"AM I SAFE YET?"

"Yeah, go ahead and push him off."

"I'll go get some clothes," Steve said, feeling awkward with the naked situation.

"IT IS AN INTRIGUING FEELING TO BE PINNED BENEATH A NAKED BEAST," Thor said, brushing off his clothes.

"It sounds pretty neat," Clint shrugged.

"YES, YOU SHOULD TRY IT."

"Wake him up!" Tony barked.

"Maybe we should just let him sleep. He looks so tired," Nat said in a surprisingly sympathetic voice.

"NO! I'm hungry! Bruce will understand."

"Come on!"

"If you don't find a way to wake him up humanely, so help me God, I'll pour a bucket of water on him."

"That's pointless. He'll just Hulk out again."

"Try tickling him."

"No, that's inhumane."

"Do you have any kind of bear horn?" Nat asked Tony.

"Honey, I have every type of bear horn."

"I'd rather die now than see you with a bear horn," Clint grimaced.

"You've seen me with worse."

"I'm not going to follow that train of thought," I mumbled.

"I am. What have you seen her with?" Tony grinned.

"Weaponized chicken salad."

Nat scoffed, "It wasn't weaponized."

"You hit me with it."

"I'm leaving. Come on Thor!"

"WHERE ARE WE HEADING AGAIN?"

I took a look over at the Hulk, who was now completely Bruce. I smiled at first, because HELL TO THE YES, BRUCE IS BACK, WHEN CAN I KISS HIM? Upon looking more closely, I frowned. His face was smushed into the ground horribly.

It's time to return a favor, I do believe.

Ignoring Nat and Clint's bickering and Tony and Thor's shawarma musings, I grabbed a pillow from one of the couches.

Gently, I eased it under Bruce's head, taking care not to wake him up. I petted his hair and stood back up, only to see the entire room smiling at me.

"Holy shit, that is cute," Clint spoke up.

"Seriously, that should go on a Christmas card."

"Aww, so sweet," Tony said sarcastically. "NOW LET'S LEAVE!"

At that, Bruce's head shot up off the pillow. Tony was officially louder than Thor.

"Oh God, what happened?" he asked, reaching down and pulling out a sharp little object.

"Thor put a tranquilizer dart in your ass," Natasha supplied.

"I see that."

"I APOLOGIZE GREATLY, BROTHER."

"You can stop shouting Thor."

"SORRY."

Bruce lifted the blanket over his head to change into the clothes Steve handed him.

"I hate to do this to you Tony, but what are we gonna do about Loki?"

Tony groaned, "Why is my life so awful?!"

"I SHALL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY BROTHER IN THIS TIME."

"Yelling, Thor."

"OH YES, I apologize."

"YOU PROMISED WE'D GO NOW, NATASHA."

"Thanks for the pillow," Bruce whispered into my ear, placing a hand against my back.

For the third time, my heart entered my mouth.

"Thanks for grabbing me out of the sky."

"No problem," he smiled, "How's your leg?"

"I, uh, reopened it," I said bluntly, not in the habit of glossing things over with Bruce.

He inhaled through clenched teeth. "Did you have to wash it?"

I looked at my feet, "You weren't lying when you said it was bad."

"I can stitch it up really fast when we get back. Thor's pretty good with sedatives, or so I've heard."

Stitching it. Needles entering skin. Thor stabbing me with a tranquilizer dart.

I hope shawarma involves alcohol.

"A dog collar would be nice."

"I don't have any dog collars!"

"I think we definitely need something better than string to hold him in place."

"A muzzle could be beneficial too."

"FINE. WE CAN STOP AT PETCO, BUT THEN WE'RE EATING."

_-x-_

I stared around the table of the shawarma joint at the athletic builds, the sculpted cheekbones, the gorgeous hair, and the altogether perfect mien of these people.

Despite how their heads were slumped, the mud and dirt caked onto their skin, and the way their bodies slouched, they looked beautiful.

Beautiful in the cheesy way. Beautiful in the soul-deep way. Beautiful because I don't give a rat's ass if it's cliché.

I grinned like an idiot.

Because right then, I felt kind of happy. And grinning is what happy people do, right?

Maybe it was the Tahini sauce, or the oddly shaped cucumbers left on Tony's plate. It could have been the way Thor was devouring his second sandwich, or how Steve was timidly nibbling the hot pepper I gave up on. Perhaps it was watching Nat steal bites of Clint's food when he wasn't looking, because I knew she had years of practice.

And possibly, just possibly, it was when my foot accidentally kicked Bruce's under the table, and he kicked mine back.

Yeah, I think it was that.

Even if I'd have to get stitches once we got back to the Tower, even if I had no idea what was happening with Loki, and even if none of this lasted for any time at all - I was happier than a Thor in the kitchen department of IKEA.

Before I could think about it too hard, I slumped my head against Bruce's shoulder.

He looked down at me, pulled a lock of hair out of my face, and laid his head on top of mine.

Thor glanced over at us and wordlessly leaned on Tony. Tony reciprocated, petting the God's hair.

Clint shrugged at Nat, moving to put his head on her lap.

Steve looked around the room, sighed, and planted his face into the table.

_-x-_

Author's Note

Let me destroy you with endless dialogue. Who cares, you're all adopted anyhow. AND PILLOW REFERENCE. D'AW.

"Mien" is a really good word. I've been trying to use it six times a day, because what's life without a bit of whim, eh?

Next chapter will be up relatively quickly also. I won't give away much, because it's still in the works, but I think you'll like it. There's plenty o' Thor. It's my aim to complete this story by Christmas, because SPOILER ALERT: I have a Christmas epilogue in planning.

It's gonna be hi- freaking –larious,

_-Maddie-_