A/N: I know the last few chapters have been pretty short. The next one should be longer. Enjoy! x

L is for... - 9. Lactate

v. secrete milk

"L, stop it! People are looking at you." D whispered at him when she came back after ordering and hit his arm. "It's embarrassing!"

In the short time she'd been around L, she found out about the little odd quirks he had. It started out with the crouching and then the massive amounts of sugar he ate. He would chew on his thumbnail when a particularly hard problem entered his mind, mainly when he was working on a case. She suspected he never changed his clothes, since he always wore the same thing daily. But his white shirt would always be spotlessly clean, even with all the messy food he ate. Didn't he ever get the urge to wipe his hands on it? That was when she found out about the white cloth he kept in his pocket for those occasions.

She hadn't gotten used to any of them, but what she was witnessing him doing in that moment was just wrong in her opinion. They were sitting outside a bakery after she just ordered for them and L's eyes were glued to the table beside theirs. A woman sat there with a friend and she had a piece of cloth covering her front and shoulder. It was obvious she was breast-feeding and it was also obvious that he was staring with a rapt look in his eyes.

"Do you not also find it interesting?" He asked without taking his eyes away from the woman. She was glad the two of them hadn't noticed him yet, the same couldn't be said to those walking pass the bakery.

"No I don't." She spotted one of the bakery assistants walking over to them. "Oh look! Our sweets and drinks are here. If you stop what you're doing I will feed you."

L didn't divert his attention and left his mouth hanging open as if the food would decide to enter on its own accord. When he received no food, he began talking instead. "I must point out that their observation skills are horrendous. How much more obvious can I get?"

He's doing this on purpose? She felt like slamming her head on the table multiple times to knock herself out. Did he have no dignity? Spotting his sockless toes curling around the edge of his seat and also the grubby shoes on the ground, her question had been answered.

The friend of the breast-feeding woman took that moment to finally noticed L. At first she seemed shocked and quickly looked away when she saw him staring. Her gaze quickly returned and her eyes narrowed at him. She pointed him out while saying something to her friend. D couldn't hear specific words by the tone of her voice didn't sound very kind and she could only imagine that what was coming out of her mouth wasn't nice.

"Ah, maybe I was wrong." L stated with a smirk.

You're never wrong. D kept the words to herself knowing how much it would inflate his already too big ego. I don't think this is going to end well.

A horrified expression covered the woman's face as she turned around and saw L staring at her. Instinctively she held the baby in her arms closer to her body. "What are you looking at?"

"Don't worry about me." L waved a hand at the woman who was putting the baby back into the carrier and fixing herself up. "Please, carry on and if it's no trouble, I wouldn't mind getting a closer look."

"Pervert!" It was the friend who shouted at him and D slouched in her seat, becoming as small as possible to try and remain unnoticed. The two women got up from their seats leaving half-eaten food and walked away.

"It wasn't as if I could see anything." L muttered turning back around. His lips formed a pout which D may have found adorable if not for the situation he had gotten into. "Well she shouldn't breast-feed in the middle of the afternoon if she didn't want people to watch."

Please, whenever I am out with L, never let this happen again. She prayed and started eating her banana cake while taking momentary sips of her milkshake. D refused to be disgusted enough to not have her drink after the scene that was caused. "Normal people would be polite and look away."

He looked down at his clothed chest and pinched the places where his own nipples would be. "I wonder if I had a baby, would I be able to feed it the same way."

"You should already know that it isn't possible." She watched him daintily pick up his sweet fruit tart and take small bites out of it. Apparently he gained an appetite, now there was nothing to distract him from his food. "Promise me you won't ever have a baby. The world can only handle one of you in it at a time."

"We could insert my sperm into you and you can have my baby." L continued the strange conversation, ignoring everything she had just said. "Then I'll be able to watch you feeding it."

D choked on the remnants of her cake, tiny beads of unshed tears appeared at the corner of her eyes as she looked into his. "You've got to be kidding me."

He shook his head and tipped more sugar into his tea. "You should already know, I never joke."

"Go find a surrogate to have your baby with, but don't expect Watari to look after it for you." She looked across the street, watching all the strangers walking to their destinations. Something weird caught her eye but when she blinked there wasn't anything to see and thought it must've been her imagination to begin with.

"That's what you will be for." L said, still using a serious tone. He looked at her when she didn't give him another smart remark and saw she wasn't even paying attention to him. "D." No response. "D… D!" He started clicking his fingers near her ear and repeated her name until she blinked a few times and sheepishly looked his way.

"Could you repeat what you said?" She asked, not being able to remember the last thing that was said between them.

"That's what-" He abruptly stopped what he was about to say and decided to ask a question instead. "Is something the matter?"

"No…" She turned her head so it was facing the other side of the road again and began laughing. It was the first time he thought she may have lost her sanity. "It couldn't have been…" D muttered to herself but he could hear her clearly. "Just my imagination…" She didn't sound convinced of what she was saying, which made it hard for him to believe as well.

"What's wrong?" He sounded worried. Looking the same way she had been, he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"I just thought…" D had to take a few deep breaths before getting the courage to tell L something that would definitely make him think she was crazy. "I thought I had seen Beyond Birthday." She rested the coolness of her milkshake cup against her forehead. "But that is impossible, right? He's in prison and also would have burn marks all over his skin."

"You are probably beginning to suffer from post-traumatic stress, nothing to worry about." L said confidently, he couldn't see anything himself that would prove his diagnosis wrong. "If you see anything else, be sure to tell me straight away. Remember you are still sane, even if you can see things which aren't actually there."

"Okay." She smiled at him, which almost made him change his mind about her sanity. "Maybe you're not such a bad guy after all."

"Does that mean you will have my baby?"

Her eyes widened and then she remembered their previous conversation. "No way. Not me. Not ever!"