Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama or any references. Alright, eight words! A new record!
Author's Notes: I'm not dead yet! *Hit on the head by a coconut dropped by a swallow*
Looks like both Samuel and Ayami have supporters...I like that! Makes it more exciting to see your reactions when the winner is revealed!
As for the Allison love, I figured it out; teenagers are obsessed with music. American Idol, High School Musical, singers and bands...all extremely popular due to music. That also explains the overload of guitar-playing OCs in Total Drama fanfics. I bet Allison would be even more popular if she played guitar, too.
I'm glad you guys enjoyed The Final Marshmallow. There are more original songs in the sequel, so stay tuned.
TDA: My Way
Episode 25: Finally, the Finals!
Chris stood not on the Dock of Shame, but at his podium at the bonfire. He held up a marshmallow.
"Previously on Total Drama Action, we've supplied eight exciting weeks of action packed, drama filled awesomeness! And with twenty-two campers voted out, only TWO…" He held up two fingers. "…remain! So, I'll ask you viewers at home this: who do YOU think will end up with this marshmallow?" He shoved the marshmallow into the camera. "Will it be Ayami, the hyper sugar-freak, or Samuel, the insane germaphobe? Regardless, you will find out soon enough…on TOTAL DRAMA ACTION!"
"This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny! Good guys, bad guys, and explosions, as far as the eye can see! And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be! This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny!" The two finalists woke up to the singing and decided to investigate.
Confessionals
"AHA!" Samuel bellowed, pointing to the camera. "Who said a germaphobe couldn't make it to the finals? Who said someone who nearly lost THREE TIMES couldn't make it to the finals? And who said someone on the LOSING TEAM couldn't make it to the finals? No one said it, but still, I just defied all the odds! And today, I'm going to defy them even further by WINNING THAT MONEY!"
---
Ayami, as usual, was vibrating on the toilet seat. "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I'M IN THE FREAKING FINALS!!!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS EXCITED IN ALL MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!! I HOPE I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!"
---
Samuel stuck his fingers in his ears. "Jeez…you could hear Ayami's squealing from the freaking moon!"
Today, we join the Toast King as he ponders something. On the moon.
"Hey Toast King! Merry Tuesday!" Insanity Prawn Boy screamed.
"Shush!" he proclaimed, thrusting his staff in the shrimp's face. "I hear some high pitched noise… my coffeemaker must be on the fritz again."
"Fritz and Cheese!"
---
Meanwhile, on Earth, the finalists were taking a walk together. Real interesting, I know.
"HeySam what'sitliketo beagermaphobe?" Ayami asked, skipping alongside the boy.
He sighed. "It's not fun, Ayami. It's not fun."
"Butwe'reinthe finalseverything's funnow!"
Samuel's eyes shifted down to the girl. "Well, I suppose so…but still, seeing germs everywhere is torturous."
"WellI'mjustglad you'regettingoverit atleastenough tomakemelose myvirginity!"
"You were a virgin?"
Ayami's head looked like it would fall of from how violently she was nodding. "UhhuhIneverhada boyfriendoranything beforeeveryone's afraidofmenobody likesmeandmy hyperactivityandmy sugaraddictionandmy-"
Samuel patted her on the head. "Aw, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find the perfect guy for you. Heck, if someone like Izzy can get two boyfriends, I'm sure there's someone out there who appreciates your personality."
"GeethanksSamuel you'reareallyniceguy Iwouldn'tmind losingtoyou!"
"I wouldn't mind losing to you, either."
---
Chris slapped his forehead as he watched to two campers converse. "C'mon, where the heck's the DRAMA?! You're supposed to be OPPONENTS!"
Owen twiddled his thumbs. "Aw, c'mon Chris! Everyone loves being nice!"
Chris frowned and showed Owen a picture of Heather.
"Point taken. Still, why can't you let those guys have their moment?"
"Cause it lowers ratings, that's why!" Chris furiously stared at one of the TV screens, which showed the finalists singing and skipping merrily. "I guess I'll just have to throw a monkey wrench in their-"
Chris was interrupted as Ayami saw some bleachers with many teenagers milling about.
"OMGit'sthe othercampers!" she squealed, rushing over to the bleachers. Samuel smiled and shook his head, then followed.
"Hey, why can't I be over there?" Owen asked.
Chris gritted his teeth. "Because I OWN YOU! THAT'S WHY!"
"But Chuck Norris pwns everyone, and I own a Chuck Norris action figure!" Owen protested, holding up the action figure, "So your argument is null and void!" He ran out of Chris' tent to join the other campers.
Confessionals
Chris looked confused. "Uhhhhh…what?"
Ayami was darting throughout the campers, excitement bubbling over. "OMGOMGOMG! It'severysingle camperInevermet beforeincluding EvaandGwenand DuncanandJustinand GeoffandKatie andSadieandBridgette andTrent!"
"And it's Izzy…" Samuel smirked as he met his girl. "So, how am I doing with the crazy?"
Izzy beamed and jumped on his head. "CRAZYTASTIC!" They then shared a long, passionate kiss.
Duncan smirked, wiggling his unibrow. "Hey Princess, I don't wanna be outdone by a couple of crazies."
Courtney sighed. "You're such an ogre…but okay!" They shared a long, passionate kiss.
"WOOHOO!" Geoff cheered. "Way to go Duncan, man!" He and Bridgette shared a long, passionate kiss.
Gwen shrugged. "I wouldn't want to feel left out…" She and Trent shared a long, passionate kiss.
Tam took Mikey and crushed him to her mouth. "We're kissing, NOW!"
"Okay." They shared a long, passionate kiss.
"Hey LeShawna, give daddy some sugar!" Harold and LeShawna shared a long, passionate kiss.
Lindsay approached Tyler. "Hey Tyler, I wanna kiss too!"
His eyes widened. "You…you remembered my name?!"
"Why of course, silly!" she giggled, waving her hand. "Why wouldn't I know my boyfriend's name?"
"Your…your…your BOYFRIEND?!!!!!" They shared a long, passionate kiss.
"Hey Heather…" Ethan beckoned, puckering his lips.
She shrugged. "Why not?" They shared a long, passionate kiss.
Owen ran in and started to kiss Izzy as well. No, I have no idea how to kiss two people at the same time.
Confessionals
Chris was watching the whole thing through his video screens. "Awwwww…how cute! Every couple kissing at the same time is sure to invite the female demographic. Though I'll bet everyone will be surprised when they find the newest couple."
One by one, all the couples stopped kissing and sighed in happiness. However, the sounds of smooching and moaning continued to fill the air.
"Hey, who's still kissing?" randomly chosen Beth asked. Everyone turned back to the bleachers, where they saw something so crazy, they'd all have to have a confessional just to rant about it. The couple making out was behind the bleachers, but everyone could see both their toques bobbing about.
Confessionals
"Allison…and EZEKIEL?!" Eva asked. "WHY IS SHE WASTING HER TIME WITH THAT SEXIST TWERP?!!!!!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Noah asked. "Uh, wow."
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Justin asked. "Geez, that's so surprising, it's actually making me talk!"
---
"Ezekiel…" Katie asked.
"…And Allison?" Sadie finished. They stared at each other.
"…HOW CUTE!" they both squealed. "EEEEEEEEEEE!!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Tyler asked. "Who cares? I GOT MY GIRL BACK, BABEH!"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Izzy asked. "Meh, saw it coming from a mile away."
---
"Ezekiel and ALLISON?!" Cody asked. "Dude lucked out almost as much as me!"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Beth asked. "I feel so happy for them!"
---
"Allison and EZEKIEL?!" Courtney asked. "What kind of loser would want to date that guy?"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Harold asked. "…Awesome!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Trent asked. "You gotta love all the couples that pop up on this show."
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Bridgette asked. "…I thought he was crushing on ME…"
---
"Allen and Elizabeth?" Lindsay asked. "Uh…who are they again?"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" DJ asked. "Man, that's just whack!"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Geoff asked. "Rock on, toque boy! WOOHOO!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" LeShawna asked. "…Good choice, Ally."
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Duncan asked. "Way to be a playa, homeschool!"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Heather asked. "Oh great, that's yet ANOTHER alliance I'll have to worry about!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Gwen asked. "Uhhhh…that's really messed up."
---
"EZEKIEL AND ALLISON?!!!" Owen asked. "BEST. COUPLE. EVAR! WOOHOO!!!!!"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Colin asked. "Okay, why the heck is such a pretty girl hanging out with a redneck twerp? IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Josephine asked. "…This show is retarded. I have no idea what compelled me to sign up in the first place!"
---
"Allison and EZEKIEL?" Tam asked. "WHAT THE F*CK'S WRONG WITH THAT B#TCH?!!!!"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Mary asked. "Okay, I think someone just went batsh$t crazy, and I don't know who. Oh, and Izzy doesn't count."
---
"Ezekiel and Allison?" Edmund asked. "Guhhhhhh…why'd ya make me say that, Mr. Camera Man?"
---
"Ezekiel and Allison, huh?" Mikey asked. "After Tam started being nice to me, nothing surprises me."
---
"Ezekiel and Allithon?" Joseph asked. "OMG, you are thuch a lucky girl, Allithon! Ezekiel is yummy yummy yummy!"
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Casey asked. "Great. That's one less available boy."
---
"Allison and Ezekiel?" Ethan asked. "Why the hell should I care?"
---
Ezekiel shrugged. "Allison's like a prettier, nicer version of Bridgette, eh. When she threw herself on top o' me at the Playa Des Losers, what choice did I have but be her boyfriend?"
---
Allison's eyes sparkled. "Ohhhh…can that boy sing!"
After the initial shock wore down, which took about five hours, Chris and Chef walked over to the bleachers.
"Okay people, I know that the new couple is very shocking and all," notified Chris, "But we've got an epic finale to film! Hit it, Chef!" Chef pressed a button on his boombox.
"This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny! Good guys, bad guys, and explosions, as far as the eye can see! And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be! This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny!"
At the back of each set of bleachers, a flag rose. On the left was Samuel's face on a blue flag, and the right had Ayami's face on a yellow flag.
"Heyisn'tthat stereotypicalImeanI'm anAsianandAsians arestereotypedto haveyellowskinthat's notveryniceand-"
Chris sighed. "The yellow represents the Deadly Sparrows, Ayami."
"Oh."
"Now that we've got that possibly lawsuit-bringing moment out of the way, let's see the campers' opinions on you guys! Anyone who wants Samuel to win…" Chris gestured towards the left bleachers. "Go sit at his bleachers now!"
To Ayami's surprise, a huge crowd of campers walked over and sat at the bleachers. In fact, not all of them fit, and some had to sit on the grass next to them.
Chris' eyes widened. "Wow…I should've gotten bigger bleachers!"
Confessionals
Ayami cried. "WAAAAAAAAAAAH EVERYONEHATESMEEEE!"
---
Samuel gave the camera a thumbs-up. "YEAH! Everyone LOVES me!"
Ayami started to cry, when a reassuring hand rested on her shoulder. "Don't worry. We've got your back." She looked up to see Allison's face smiling at her.
"…Allison? Ithoughtyou hatedme!"
She shook her head. "Remember, the Triple A Alliance?"
"B-b-b-butyoutricked meinthevideogame!"
"And felt terrible afterward."
Confessionals
"For the record, I meant everything I said out there." Allison played with her toque. "Man…I love these things!"
---
"I finally figured oot why Allison likes me, eh!" Ezekiel beamed. "It's the toque! Chicks dig the toque, eh."
Looking at the small group of Ayami supporters, Izzy just had to laugh. "HAHAHEEHEEHOHO!!! Look at who's supporting Ayami!"
Samuel looked them over. "Allison, Ezekiel, and Cody. That's pretty pathetic."
"Wait…there's one more. Who's the guy hiding back there? He's probably not that important…"
Dreamy music played as Justin turned towards the crowd, his shirtless chest casting a glow upon them. Every single girl swooned and fainted on the spot.
Confessionals
Ayami's eyes widened. " meIwonderwhy maybeit'sbecause healwaysrootsfor girlstomakethem likehimevenmore thantheyalreadydo!"
However, she became even more surprised when he revealed a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. He handed them to her, sweating as he heard the gasps of many heartbroken girls.
Confessionals
Justin looked from left to right, then whispered to the camera. "Ayami's really pretty…I had no idea she'd be so pretty…"
---
Heather's eyes were wide all around. "…The hottest guy in Canada…LIKES AYAMI?!"
---
"And I thought Allison and Ezekiel was messed up!" Colin yelped.
---
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Casey screamed. "NOT JUSTIN TOO!!!!!"
---
Noah smirked. "Come to think of it, it makes perfect sense. Justin doesn't talk, while Ayami talks twice as much as anyone else. That way, they can have perfectly lovely, average conversations with each other. Oy vey."
---
Ayami bounced in her seat. "JUSTINLIKESME JUSTINLIKESME JUSTINLIKESME JUSTINLIKESME JUSTINLIKESME JUSTINLIKESME JUSTINLIKESME JUSTIN-" She hit her head on the ceiling and was knocked out.
As the gossip started afresh, Chris pressed an airhorn. HOOOOOOOOOONK!
"GUYS! DO YOU WANNA SEE A WINNER HERE OR NOT?!"
"I don't," Ethan sulked, crossing his arms. A shoe hit him in the face.
Chris frowned at Ethan's direction, but he quickly shrugged it off. "The final challenge of the season has gotta be the most dramatic and challenging yet!"
Duncan scoffed. "Dude, the chick's already been knocked up. I don't think challenges get any more dramatic and challenging then THAT."
Chris sighed. "Okay okay, maybe it's not as dramatic or challenging as that…but it's still dramatic and challenging! May I present…and by 'I' I mean 'Chef'…"
"Whatevah," Chef growled, as he took out a complicated map of the whole island.
"…THE RACE OF LOSERS!" Chris boldly announced. No one cheered.
"Throughout the island, there are a total of 32, count 'em, 32 checkpoints." He pointed at the small red dots on the map. "Each finalist must race to each checkpoint and perform a challenge in order to continue on. Each challenge will be based off of a loser as well, so expect to do some crazy stuff!"
The cameras panned around the island, showing some of the checkpoints. There was a moose-shooting challenge at Ezekiel's checkpoint, two huge piles of pancakes at Owen's, and a karaoke screen at Allison's.
"Also, the losers themselves may support the finalist they're rooting for, but they cannot actually help with the challenges! Whoever crosses the finish line after passing all 32 checkpoints first…" Chris pointed at a finish line held by Chef. "…Will receive…" He took out a giant check. "…This huge check, worth HALF A MILLION SMACKAROOS!" Everyone cheered.
"YAYAYAYAY IWANTTHATMONEY!"
"I WANT IT MORE!"
"Yeah yeah, I know you two want this money." Chris rolled his eyes. "But for what? Ayami, tell the folks at home what you'll be spending this moolah on!"
She started bouncing in excitement, but then noticed the smiling faces of her supporters and slowed down. "Well…IguessI'll splititequally betweenallmy awesomesupporters!" Justin hugged her while Cody and Ezekiel did a hi-five and Allison squealed.
"So that will leave you with a hundred grand, same as Owen got last season. What will you use your share for?"
"SUGARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Chris sighed. "Figures." He stepped over to Samuel, who looked anxious to say something. "So Samuel, what will you do if you win?"
He faced his overcrowded bleacher of supporters. "Hey guys, remember that awesome yacht party Owen promised?"
The campers started talking amongst themselves excitedly.
"Well imagine that, with five times the money!"
The entire bleacher went up in uproarious applause.
"Sounds AWESOME, brah!" Chris announced, slapping Samuel in the back. "Am I invited?"
"No."
The entire bleacher went up in uproarious applause.
"WHO ASKED YOU?!" Chris yelled at the losers. "Anyway, now it is the moment of reckoning. Finalists…line up at the staring line."
"WAIT! First things first." Samuel shook Ayami's hand. "Good luck, Ayami. May the best camper win."
"Awwwwhowsweet thatgoes doubleforyou!" The finalists walked to the starting line, then crouched into a running position.
Chef cleared his throat and pointed a gun in the air. "On your marks…"
Samuel and Ayami glanced and smiled at each other.
"Get set…"
They deepened their stances.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand GO!" BANG! Chef shot a bullet in the air.
Samuel and Ayami took off like bullets.
An airplane crashed near the bleachers.
Chris slapped his forehead. "Forget angry emails…we're gonna be neck deep in lawsuits now!"
---
The supporters were having difficulty keeping up with the finalists, who both seemed to be quite fast runners.
"Dude!" Geoff shouted to Samuel. "Way to go keeping up with the hyper girl!"
"Thanks, dude!" He gave him a salute.
Confessionals
"Killing germs keeps a man fit," Samuel explained.
Before either of them knew it, Ayami and Samuel found themselves at a metal gate with two closed doors. On top was a cheap wooden sign.
Checkpoint #1: Ezekiel
Using the bows and arrows next to you, shoot five cardboard moose.
All the sudden, some cardboard moose attached to the ground slid around them.
"TIMETOUNLEASH MYWICKEDSKILLS!!!!!" Ayami took the bow and arrows beside her and started shooting rapid fire, missing all the moose spectacularly.
"No Ayami!" Allison yelled. "SLOW DOWN!"
Samuel smirked and aimed his bow, then fired, hitting a moose. The moose let out a strange mooing sound and toppled over.
Confessionals
Allison was all tensed up. "NO NO NO! If Ayami can't learn to slow down and actually expend EFFORT in these challenges, there's no way she'll win!"
---
Ethan grinned evilly. "Yes Ayami, continue to screw up. That way, at least I'll get to go to an awesome yacht party."
MOO! MOO! MOO! MOO! Four arrows later, Samuel's door slid open, and he was on his merry way.
"Concentrate on what you're doing!" Allison advised.
"ButthenI'llslowdown andwhenIslowdown I'lllose'cause thisisaraceandin araceIneed togofastand-"
"Ever heard of Aesop, eh?"
Ayami stopped what she was doing and stared at Ezekiel. "Who?"
"A writer of famous fairy tales. Here." He held out a book with the title, "The Tortoise and the Hare". "Okay, soo in this stoory, the Hare challenges the Toortoise to a race, 'cause he can run much faster, eh. However, he gets overconfident and sleeps beside a tree in the middle o' the race. Thus, the Toortoise wins. Now in this race, you're tryin' too be the Hare, but you should be tryin' too be the Toortoise, eh."
She still looked confused. "Hairasinthe stuffonyourhead orHareasinbunny?"
Ezekiel slapped his forehead. "The bunny, o' course! But that doesn't matter, eh. What matters is that slow and steady wins the race!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh…howdoIdothat?"
---
Checkpoint #2: Eva
Move the boulder in front of you to unblock the door.
Samuel craned his neck to see the top of the huge boulder. "Geez…"
Ethan ran back to the first checkpoint. "Don't worry, Sam! I'll buy you some time!"
"And where are ya goin'?" LeShawna asked, her hands on her hips.
He shrugged. "Sabotaging Ayami. What else?"
LeShawna waggled her finger. "Nuh uh uh uh uh! No ya don't, ya two-faced little-"
Ethan whirled on the spot and put her in a full nelson. "I wouldn't insult me if I were you."
Confessionals
"Yeah, I should've detained Ethan at that point," Chris admitted, "But the opportunity for massive drama was too good to pass up!"
Memories of episode three flooded into LeShawna's mind, and she broke down into a sobbing heap.
Ethan smirked. "That's right, n**$er. Cry." At that point, he was karate-chopped on the base of the neck.
"DO NOT INSULT MY ANGEL!" Harold roared.
"HEATHER! BACKUP PLEASE!!!!!!"
"GET AWAY FROM ETHAN!" Heather screamed, running up to the scuffle.
Harold turned to her. "OH, AND WHAT WILL YOU DO TO ME?!!!!! HUH?!!!!!!"
Heather removed her top.
"Boobies…"
---
Ezekiel held up Samuel's bow and arrow. "Okay Ayami, all ya need to do is line up yoor eye with the arrow…" He did so. "Then face right towards yoor target, then fire!" He shot the arrow, shattering a moose's head.
Ayami nodded vigorously. "OkayokayI thinkIgotit!" She set the arrow, brought it to her eye, aimed towards a moose, and…
MOO!
"YEAH! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!" Justin screamed. Everyone stared at him.
---
Samuel was futilely pushing against the boulder. "Uh, guys? A little help here?"
Izzy raised her hand. "Ooh ooh, me! Me! I can help!"
"And what help would you be?" Courtney asked, skeptical.
"Just do exactly as I do…" She started to dance. "C'mon, every single girl! It's the Dance…of the Rattlesnake!"
Confessionals
"And how the heck is some stupid dance going to get Samuel to move that boulder?" Courtney complained. "Does that crazy girl ever THINK?!"
Soon, every girl supporting Samuel was dancing.
"Look into my eyes, whaddya see? Danananana dananana…Danananana dananana…"
Samuel was drooling. "Geez, that girl is hot!"
"Tell me about it…" Owen sighed.
Samuel turned into a rattlesnake. "WTF?!"
Confessionals
Izzy beamed. "Yeah, that dance only works when about a dozen girls are doing it. And it's only girls for some reason…but whatever! Wait until everyone sees the Dance of the Hagfish!"
Ethan's eyes widened. "What magic is this?"
"Ancient Yurgonadynao tribe magic!" Izzy explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Didja know I'm 1/503rd Yurgonadynaoian? Because I am!"
Since rattlesnakes are stronger than humans, Samuel was able to push the boulder past the doorway. "Okay, can I change back now?"
"Oh…" Izzy put her finger on her chin. "I never learned how to reverse the Dance of the Rattlesnake…"
Samuel's eyes widened, although snakes don't have eyelids. "WHAT?!!!"
Izzy laughed. "Haha, gotcha! All you need to do is bite a human to turn back."He looked over his supporters, trying to decide who to bite first, when Ayami came by and started pushing the boulder. He smirked.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!! MY FACE!!! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Justin screamed, tugging at the snake biting his cheek. "STUPID RATTLESNAKE! MY FACE IS WORTH MILLIONS!"
Confessionals
Samuel smirked. "I never liked him."
Samuel turned back into a human and, once again, went on his merry way.
Checkpoint #3: Noah
Answer the potpourri questions correctly, and then rearrange the letters of the answers to name a Totally Dramatic Camper. Supporters can only give hints.
Samuel looked over the questions. "Well, this can't be too hard, right?"
Question 1: Name the camper who lost palindromatically.
Question 2: What does a volt measure?
Question 3: Solve for x: logbase5(derivative of (31x^2+x))=3sec(2pi)
Question 4: Name Asia's fourth largest country by area.
Question 5: What is the smallest basic metric unit?
Samuel clenched his head in frustration. "I didn't take these courses yet!"
Noah sighed and shook his head. "I could've answered those when I was two…"
---
"MY LIFE IS RUINEDDDDDDDDD!" Justin wailed, placing a paper bag over his head.
"Awpoorbaby!" Ayami whined, hugging her new boyfriend.
Cody cleared his throat. "Uh, guys? Shouldn't we be focusing on-"
Allison's eyes widened. "The BOULDER!
A shirtless muscular man came out of nowhere. "The Boulder just heard a young girl scream his name into the heavens. Do you all request The Boulder's assistance?"
"Uhhh…okaaaaay." Allison looked freaked out. "Could you move that giant boulder out of the way for us?"
The Boulder cracked his knuckles. "Aha! That is no problem for The Boulder!" He Earthbended the boulder out of the way.
"YAY!"
Confessionals
"Omigosharandom Avatarcameo!" Ayami squealed. "MaybeifI'mlucky thatmeansmore Avatarcharacters willshowupthen IhopeZukoshows upcuzhe's totallysmexy!"
Samuel pored over the questions. "The camper who lost palindromatically? What?! Is that even a real word?"
"No," Noah remarked bluntly. "I didn't make up these questions, you know."
"Try typing in campers' names one by one!" Izzy suggested.
Samuel raised a finger in triumph. "Good idea! I think I'll start with you." He started typing into the computer screen.
I-Z-Z-Y……………………………CORRECT!
Samuel's eyes widened. "Whoa! Izzy really IS the best camper!"
Noah slapped his forehead. "It was just a lucky guess, genius."
---
Ayami arrived at Noah's checkpoint. "Okay…firstquestionis 'Whichcamperlost palindromatically'that one'seasycuzI watchedeachepisode ofTotalDramaIsland likeamilliontimes it'sIzzycuzshe leftsevenththen camebackand gotseventhplace!
I-Z-Z-Y……………………………CORRECT!
She clasped her hands together in glee. "YAY! Questiontwois 'whatdoes avoltmeasure' Ihavenoflippin'clue."
---
Samuel rubbed his temples. "Well, I know volts have to do with electricity…
E-L-E-C-T-R-I-C-I-T-Y…………………………INCORRECT!
Noah sighed. "More specific."
"…Bah, I'll pass that one for now. What the heck's a derivative?"
"An equation for the slope of another equation."
"So what's the slope of 31x^2+x?"
---
Ayami shrugged. "Forthemathproblem Icanprobablyjust typerandomnumbers!"
O-N-E………………………INCORRECT!
Allison shook her head. "Ayami, I really don't think that's such a-"
T-W-O………………………CORRECT!
Allison slapped her forehead.
"Okaywhat'sAsia's fourthlargestcountry Iknow!"
J-A-P-A-N………………………INCORRECT!
Allison slapped her forehead.
---
"The fourth largest country in Asia?" Samuel asked. "Uh, well I'm pretty sure the biggest is China…"
Mary coughed into her hand. "CoughRussiacough!"
"India's pretty big too, and there's that country above China where Genghis Khan's from…"
"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Izzy screamed.
Samuel scratched his head. "So what's fourth?"
---
Cody put on a false mustache. "Greetings Ayami, I am Borat, and I want to be learning about your glorious nation!" He waved a small Canadian flag around.
Ayami cocked an eyebrow. "Ithoughtyou wereCody!"
He buried his face in his hands. "Please tell me you saw this movie. PLEASE tell me you saw this movie."
"Whatmovieyoumean TwilightIwatched thatmovecuz Edward'ssoHAWT!!!!!"
"BORAT!" Cody screamed. "You know, the movie Borat: Cultural Learnings for the Glorious Benefit of the Nation of…"
Ayami lit up. "OHTHATIknowTHAT!"
J-A-P-A-N………………………INCORRECT!
Allison slapped her forehead.
---
Samuel listened in on the other team's conversation. "Hey! I loved that movie!"
K-A-Z-A-C-K-S-T-A-N…………………….INCORRECT!
"Spelling!" Noah screamed.
---
"HEYIknowhow tospellthat!"
K-A-Z-A-K-H-S-T-A-N……………………CORRECT!
"Nowwhatthe heck'sthesmallest basicmetricunit?!"
---
Samuel tapped his head. "A small metric unit? Isn't an Angstrom really small?"
A-N-G-S-T-R-O-M………………………CORRECT!
"Okay, now back to the volt. I know it involves electricity!"
"Well, think about it this way," Noah suggested. "You've heard of 9-volt batteries, correct?"
"Yeah…"
"What separates them from other batteries?"
"They're rectangular?"
Noah slapped his forehead. "C'mon, man! Go back to your Physics class!"
Samuel raised an eyebrow. "…I'm taking Physics next year."
Noah sighed. "Then I guess we'll just have to use charades."
---
Still wearing his paper bag, Justin tapped two fingers onto his wrist.
"Twosyllables!" Ayami translated.
Justin tapped one finger onto his wrist.
"Firstsyllable!"
He started flapping his arms.
"Birdflyingflapping wingsflailing…orisitswimming?"
He shook his head.
"It'sflying…uh…"
Justin took Harold and started spinning him around like a bo staff.
"HEY, LET ME GO, PRETTY BOY!" he yelled. "GOSH!"
"Karatemartial artsninja? Flyingninjas?"
---
Noah tapped three fingers onto his wrist.
"Three syllables," Samuel figured.
Noah tapped one finger onto his wrist.
"First syllable, yes?"
Noah whistled as he mimed stirring food.
"Whistling? Uh…wasting time?"
Noah pointed at the air around his arm.
"I said wasting time!"
He furiously pointed farther away from his arm and continued the stirring motion.
"What's that you're doing with your arm? Spinning, twirling…"
He mimed eating something.
"Eating food? Oh, stirring!"
He nodded, then stirred a little more, then mimed lifting something heavy.
"Something you stir in…bowl, pot-"
He touched his nose.
"Pot! Yes!"
---
Justin took a permanent marker and drew an arrow on his bag.
"Avatar!" Ayami squealed.
He pointed at the arrow again.
"Aang?"
He touched his nose.
"YAYSecond syllableplease!"
---
Noah put his hands in a triangular shape.
"Mountain?"
He shook his head, then pointed at the bonfire ceremony.
"Bonfire?"
He put his hands in a triangular shape again.
"Campfire? Uh…camping?"
He rested his head on his hands and closed his eyes.
"Sleeping? Camping and sleeping…sleeping bag? Tent?"
He touched his nose.
"Pot-tent…" Samuel thought. "Electric pot tent…Electric potential?"
"YES!" Noah screamed.
E-L-E-C-T-R-I-C-P-O-T-E-N-T-I-A-L……………………CORRECT!
"Okay, that just leaves the impossible math equation. Oh boy…"
---
Justin cupped his ear.
"Soundslike?"
He pointed at the sign at the front of the island, reading "Total Drama Action".
"TotalDramaAction!"
He brought his hands closer together.
"Total…Drama…"
He brought his hands even closer together.
"Dra…Ma…Dram…"
He touched his nose.
"Drambomblombrom comclomcrom domfomflom fromgomgrom glomhomjom-"
He pointed at a passing snake.
"Somstomspom slomshomssprom swomstrom-"
He touched his nose.
"Aangstrom?"
A-A-N-G-S-T-R-A-M………………….INCORRECT!
Justin sighed. "Remove the first 'a' and replace the last one with an 'o'.
A-N-G-S-T-R-O-M………………….CORRECT!
"YAY! Nowforthe voltwhat'savolt?"
---
"So you're saying the derivative of 31x^2+x is…62x+1?"
Noah nodded. "Yep. That's basic calculus right there."
Samuel clutched his head. "I know I've done trig before…Secant is the reciprocal of Sine, right?"
"Cosine."
"2pi is one complete cycle; Cosine of 2pi is Cosine of 0…"
---
E-L-E-C-T-R-I-C-P-O-T-E-N-T-I-A-L……………………CORRECT! NOW REARRANGE YOUR ANSWERS TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE.
Ayami looked over her answers again.
IZZY
ELECTRIC POTENTIAL
TWO
KAZAKHSTAN
ANGSTROM
"Heyguyswhat's theanswer?" she asked, looking back at her supporters. Unfortunately, they all looked clueless
---
T-W-O……………………CORRECT! NOW REARRANGE YOUR ANSWERS TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE.
Samuel looked back at his crowd of supporters, but all they were looking at was Noah, who suddenly blushed a deep crimson.
"Noah, you okay man?"
The nerd waved a hand away, signaling it was nothing to worry about. "Just…just solve the puzzle."
"How?"
"Well, what typically makes me blush?"
---
A lightbulb went off in Ayami's head. "Iknowwhat makesNoahblush!"
"You do?" Allison asked, somewhat unbelieving. "Uh, good. Put it down!"
J-A-P-A-N……………………INCORRECT!
Allison slapped her head as Ayami giggled.
"Heeheeheejustkidding!"
K-A-T-I-E……………………CORRECT!!! At long last, the left door opened, and the race continued.
"YAY!"
---
K-A-T-I-E……………………CORRECT!!! Samuel grinned as his door opened, but certain other campers had different feelings.
"Oh…my…gosh!" Katie gasped. "Noah must really love me!"
"You are sooooo lucky, Katie!" Sadie chirped. "I would kill to have a guy fall for me like that!"
"I bet there are plenty of guys who would fall for you like that!" Katie squealed, "Because you're so pretty!"
Sadie beamed, "Yeah, and you're so pretty too!"
"Yeah, we're so pretty!"
"EEEEEEEEEE!"
"EEEEEEEEEE!"
"STOP!" The BFFFLs were taken aback as Noah started futilely pushing at the fatter girl. "WHY MUST YOU SQUEAL SO MUCH?!"
Sadie looked confused. "…Because it's fun?"
"YEAH, AND YOU WOULD THINK SO!" Noah roared, finally getting that thing off his chest. "YOU NO GOOD, LOUSY LITTLE BLOB OF FAT!!! HOW DARE YOU MAR KATIE'S PERFECTION WITH YOUR HIDEOUSNESS!"
Katie started beating him up.
"OWWWWW!"
Confessionals
Noah, with a black eye and swollen lip, furiously addressed the camera. "She has no idea what she's missing…NO IDEA!"
"NOAH IS SUCH A JERK!" Katie screamed. "I WOULD NEVER DATE HIM IN A MILLION YEARS!"
"NOT IN A BILLION YEARS!" Sadie added.
Confessionals
Harold shrugged. "I think Sadie's prettier than Katie…"
---
Izzy looked at her watch. "Whoa, would you look at that! We're nearly at 25 pages on Word! I think that means this episode should be almost over!"
At the control room, Chris and Chef watched their many TV screens and noticed Izzy saying this.
"She's right, ya know," Chef growled.
Chris threw up his hands. "Fine…I guess this means the finale's gonna be a two-parter!" He faced the audience and delivered his famous smile. "Total Drama fans, make sure you don't miss next week's awesome episode, 'cause we'll finally be able to crown a winner!"
Author's Notes: That's right. This finale is a TWO-PARTER!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Okay, I suppose Triple T was expecting that.
I felt like I gypped Zeke of proper development and screentime this season, so I gave him a girlfriend and a role in the episode. I suppose you can thank Kobold Necromancer for that.
I don't feel like this chapter is my best work. Probably because the Noah challenge went on too long...But I promise the next episode will make up for it!
Now what I'd like to know from my reviewers is this: Who do you think will win, and is it the same person you want to win? This'll give me a good indicator of how predictable my writing is. And I hate predictable writing.
Smorgasbord.