This is the "temporal" ending. I still have about 2-3 chapters to go. Yeah, I say that alot. This story won't finish despite all my attempts to end it. I'm a victim of my own planning. Once you air out of order you can't start planning or you'll write beyond your limits.
I love you, Haruhi Suzumiya
Her words made me ponder, that sameother girl with the eyes of lonely tears. What would be a definition of a Haruhi? What do I mean in the context of her? Suppose that we made a sentence of sense, a underlying paradigm of S and O and S. Mikuru would be a improper girl and Koizumi a clause, I in a comma and Yuki a girl of action. The mad poet is she, and I would sign, sing, sin.
Would she be a new messiah, born to rule and dying to challenge. Her need and the future can be swiftly seen – her court is worth finishing. I would proceed in the footsteps of rex Cassandra, or oracle Oedipus, in saying: "I told you so!" Seeking the source of whatever you might call it, it would tell you that we are the same, you and I.
Ah, my mind is fuzzy. Uh, what was I thinking? Well, I'm somewhere else now. Am I dead? That would explain a lot of things. Every culture has its death myths, its legends to comfort the sick and bereaved. But like a lot of youth, I don't place much effort into religion. I guess it's a side effect of free public education. Privately, I would prefer a infinite lack of anything when I die. No darkness, no light. Just the complete absence of Haruhi Suzumiya.
I cracked an eye open. I was lying down on my back in the Brigade room. It was dark and no one else was around. My entire body felt like a cramp. I lay on my back for the while, admiring the various stains on the ceiling and vaguely trying to remember what happened to me. What did I do? Did I get drunk? Did Haruhi drink me to the floor? Nah, that couldn't be. Why would we drink at school?
Did she knock me out with chemicals from the lab? Ethanol ethers or something more obscure? That wouldn't explain the muscle aches. It's probably another crazy person after my life. Another crazy person from another crazy faction is desirous of my death or the effect of my death on Haruhi. Or even better, a new faction. I've always wanted to know if demons were real or not. Or sliders. Or mountain ladies. Or dragons. Hell, why stop at Japanese phenomena?
I opened my other eye. Nope, nothing there. I turned over and fell on the floor. I felt a huge bruise crawling up my thigh and I massaged it lightly. I felt old. Really old. Too old for this kind of bullshit. I pulled myself up with the chair and I walked towards the window. I looked out, desperate to know if I was in some sort of Suzumiya dream scenario.
No, it was normal. Cars were slowly driving by the school, despite it being very late. I checked the computer. No messages from Nagato. I opened my eyes, looking for a little red ball that was called Koizumi. Nothing was there. I smelled for the unique smell of ozone and iron. I could smell nothing. I walked towards the door and I tried to open the door, checking if this was a interface-created space. It gave easily. I was extremely paranoid, and my heart was beating like a drum.
Apparently today was a extremely normal day. I sat down on the chair to think. I've exhausted all options, normal and supranormal. Occam's razor tells me that the simplest answer is the best one. I also know that I'm not oversimplifying things. I looked up. Apparently my bag was also here as well. That means I was going to school at one point and I passed out. But I wasn't sent home and my parents didn't pick me up. Why?
Haruhi must have done an activity during the time I was passed out. But she bothered to pick me up but she didn't want to take me home. I must have done something to offend her so that none of the three would dare help me. She must be really angry at me for some reason. I walked down the hallway and down the stairs to get out of the school.
It was snowing lightly and the courtyard had a perfect layer of snow, flat as a plains. No one has been here for some time, judging from the lack of footprints. I shuffled across, my legs complaining of fatigue. What did I do in the past couple of hours? I reached for my phone, only to grab a weird device. It had no buttons and a large touchscreen. What the hell was this? Walking down the damn hill was usually easier then walking up. But since it was slippery I had to be extremely careful with my steps. I looked around. There was no traffic. No one was around. I had a distinctive memory of going down this hill as a child. I wonder...
I grabbed a plastic garbage can top and I inverted it and placed it on the ground. I sat down in the centre. I looked around again. Perfect. I used my hands, smarting at the cold to pull myself down the hill. Once I got some momentum I stopped pushing with my hands. The street was pretty straight, and my house was at the base of this hill, so hopefully I could get home extremely quick. I was speeding up and the garbage top was starting to buckle extremely fast. My teeth were chattering and my vision was shaky. Perhaps this was not a good idea after all. It has not occurred to me how to stop this thing once I had cleared the hill. Or how to steer, actually.
I passed by parked cars and sleepy apartments as I raced down the middle of the road. For some reason I felt melancholic, a deeper sadness. I felt like I lost a bet, lost something that I really never had in the first place. I immediately thought of my childhood, the innocence of a dare, but it was deeper then that. The horrible thing was that I could almost remember it. It was on the tip of my tongue, metaphorically. Perhaps I'd never know.
I was almost at my house when I saw a girl impatiently waiting at the door. From her strange clothing and many layers of jackets I couldn't tell who or what she was. I don't think that many girls would want to come to my home, or anyone in particular. Only she would have the gall to wait for me while I lay knocked out on the table. This is ridiculous.
I slowly came to a halt in front of my house. We exchanged glances and I felt uncomfortable at her undying gaze. She must be so mad right now. All I have to look forward to is more penalties and punishment. Judging by the speed she is removing those coats, I guess that she's been waiting for a long time. I'll be paying for her meals for a long, long~ time.
"Kyon, you, you... idiot!" Haruhi ran towards me and punched me in the face. I fell off the impromptu sled and lay sprawled on the icy street. Yup, I was right. She stood there for the longest time, breathing in and out. I closed my eyes and waited for the imminent judgement to come. I felt a warm pair of hands pick me up and I was hoisted on her back. My head was perched on her shoulder and it was a surprise to find out that nearly every part of her was warm.
"Don't ever leave me, Kyon." Haruhi said in a low voice as she walked to my doorstep. "Don't you dare."
"Heh," I whispered. "You didn't have to punch me."
"You want me to drop you?" She turned her head and I stared into her eyes. It was a mixed pool of feeling, like staring into a whirlpool in a bathtub.
"What did you do?" I asked. "Why are you here?"
"You went missing," she said. "For a entire month."
What? I haven't been gone that long. Damn, it was time travel. The one possibility I didn't consider. Of course!
"What year is it?" I asked.
"Dummy, don't you know? You disappeared after you went out with Taniguchi and Kunikida. It's still the same year. What did you do?"
"I... don't know. It's a mystery." Seriously, what did I do? Did I cause a paradox or something? Kill my own grandfather?
"I'm the brigade chief. Whatever problems you might have, you must tell me." She stumbled up the doorsteps. "But since it's a special day today, I will have you tell me tomorrow, Kyon."
"Why? What day is today?"
"It's Christmas Eve, Kyon. Do you have a present for me? If you don't, you are going to have to tell me where you went." She looked serious. She wasn't kidding.
"Why would you expect me to have a gift for you? I just came back!"
"Obviously, you went to some strange and foreign land to get me a present. You must have braved dangers so vast that you had to skip a month of school. That reminds me." She started groping my chest. What are you doing? Stop that!
"You obviously don't have anything big in your bag, so it must be small and on your person."
Couldn't you apply that logic in reverse? Have a small gift in the bag? And I don't have a gift for you.
She put me down and started to frisk me. She sat down on my chest to prevent me from moving, a extremely discomforting, cruel and unusual manoeuvre. Her fiendish hands had much practice, prying open my mouth to degrees I haven't thought possible. Hey! Not the shirt! Not the shirt! Damn.
This stripping and nakedness gave me deja vu. Was I a victim of Stockholm syndrome, with her as my captor? Her methodical nature when she stripped me reminded me of a rapist. Is it bad that I'm not resisting, letting her do this? I feel like a pervert already. My poor shirt was torn in half and it's going to be hell to replace that. Where does she get the idea that Christmas gifts are mandatory? I'm not particularly attracted to her. Did I give some ethereal signal through the veil that drew in weird girls like flies to honey?
She was satisfied with the torso, and she stared at me with a evil eye. "You know, this would be easy and painless if you give me the present right now. Give in."
I don't have the present, you crazy woman!
She pulled off my shoes and shook them out. Nothing but dust and dirt. She removed the inserts and she put on a disappointed face. "I'm starting to believe that you actually didn't get me anything. I'm doing this for your benefit, you know."
Her hands brushed across my chest and through the stress and the fear I felt slightly arous- Damn it! Little Kyon is getting a court martial for this. I'm not attracted to weird girls. Think of breasts, Kyon. Nope, not helping.
"In your pants? Unlikely, but it would deter any girl. Any girl but me!" She pulled at my zipper on my trousers. Enough was enough. I wasn't going to become a victim to her twisted fantasies. If I let this continue on I'll be put in the same circumstances and Mikuru. Doomed to be another toy to be mocked at by, by... actually, not a lot of mocking. Taniguchi would probably ask if I was in a sadomasochistic threesome.
"Oh? What's this?" She grabbed an object from my jacket. "This is..!" Now or never, this was my chance to escape. I started to struggle. She had to descend to take off my pants and I had enough leverage to flip over. We wrestled off the porch and landed in the snow. A immediate cold shock hit my system, but I knew that I had to fight back. My pants disappeared at one point, either from her pulling it off or me kicking it off. I managed to pin her on the staircase, my legs putting weight on hers. She still had that fighting fire in her eyes and tried desperately to get out. At that moment my sister opened the door.
"I knew it! She was your girlfriend!" Her tittering giggles penetrated my youthful heart. "And what are you doing? I'm going to tell Mom!"
"Kyon? Where were you and what are you doing?" I turned around. The other members of the brigade were here. Koizumi had a fat smirk on his face. "Improving relations?" Yuki had a blank face. Asahina was hiding behind Koizumi, her reactions imperceptible.
"Kyon?" Sasaki was here. Great. What else. Why didn't I notice her earlier? "Where were you? You disappeared and... oh. Am I interrupting something?" With Sasaki, there was probably Sasaki's group. That sneering bastard better not say anything...
"Kyons?" Tsuruya's voice rang out from... somewhere? "Youse naughty boy. In publics? Kinky."
"Kyon? You lucky dog! Keep running, you'll manage to get to third base pretty soon!" I knew who that was, and I wouldn't dignify him with an answer.
A humvee roared down the hill and came to a stop in front of my house. Several chattering Americans speaking in excited English emerged from the vehicle.
"Kyon! You came back! Where were you?" My mother's voice rose above the clamor. "And what are you doing with the Suzumiya girl?
God! Let it stop! Let it end!
...
During my disappearance, apparently Haruhi was going to my house every day to check if I was there, my mother told me as we handled the crush of guests. Our little house was full to the brim with people. Haruhi, crazy as it might be, arranged a party and it snowballed. Don't know why she invited Sasaki. I managed to brush off Taniguchi's digging remarks into my asexuality. I was surprised to see that Haruhi took it so well, but everyone assumed that we were drunk or inhibited or something. My mother was... accepting, embarrassingly so. She even gave me contraceptives, in her words, "Just in case." Damn it, now everyone thinks that this horrible lie is true!
"I believe you completely, Kyon." Koizumi smiled his fake smile. "There must be some sort of circumstances that required you to take off your pants in the middle of the winter."
"Your sarcasm is touching, Koizumi." I drank a little from the punch. The horde of hedonists had been nice enough to bring their own food and drink to prevent us from starving ourselves. My mother was on a trip to get more food and everyone else was just socializing.
"I am completely serious when I say this." Koizumi returned to a more neutral tone. "You have no reason to lie."
"Again, your sarcasm is touching." I sat down on my bed. It was only me and Koizumi in this room. The roar of the party below made my lamp vibrate. Haruhi's voice was the loudest, her energy undimmed by the embarrassment of the day. The music was really loud. Where did they get a boombox?
"I would ask you where you went, but I wouldn't get a very good answer, would I?" Koizumi looked more contemplative. "Did you get her a nice present?"
I didn't get her any present.
"Judging from your silence I guess you got her a great present. There are factions that believe that you provide a stability to Suzumiya. So if you start to romance her, marry her, it wouldn't be so bad." He smiled. I detected a little genuine feeling behind it. This was getting dangerous.
"Don't be ridiculous. All I want to do now is sleep, but she won't even give me that." It was true. I felt extremely tired, even before the dip in the snow.
"If you feel that way, I can't stop you." Koizumi shrugged. "Perhaps you'll tell us your story another day. If you can remember it." He took a long gulp from his drink.
The noise got even louder. Koizumi frowned. "Judging by the pitch of the Americans, they've found some liquor to drink. My organization will prevent the neighbours from complaining tonight."
Please, don't. I want this nightmare to be over soon. What happens if she comes to my house every time she has fun? Not only will I lose my only sanctuary to Haruhi, it will look like we have something going on, or something. Don't do this to me, Koizumi!
"Second thoughts? Don't worry. She's happy, for tonight at least. I have to go downstairs to make sure that my counterpart doesn't do anything rash. See you later." Koizumi stood up and left my room. I was left alone by myself, the roar of the party throbbing in tune with my growing headache. Why does when she has a party, I don't have any fun? All it brings me is stress.
Tsuruya opened the door, and I looked at her. A giant hat with fruit on it and almost as tall as her was sitting precariously on her head. What were they doing? "Kyon, whats are you doing? It's your party? Why are youse sulking up here?"
At that moment I had a sense of deja vu, a sense of sadness. . I looked straight at Tsuruya and she looked surprised.
"Kyons, why-"
"Did you ever had a cousin? A person like a sister?" I asked. I don't know why I did it. It just slipped out. It felt good saying it.
"Noes, Kyon. Why do youse ask?"
Nothing, I guess. What does Haruhi want?
"You knews that already? Haruhi wants you to clean the dishes, much. Sez that 'it ain't fair for Mikuru to do everything, time for useless mens to work', no offenses?"
It's just like her to dump work on other people's back. I bet that Asahina was having fun before Haruhi spoiled it. I guess that I'll have to do it.
Washing dishes with Asahina was surprisingly calming, compared to my loneliness upstairs. She had no fetish clothing on, which was a relief. I've seen pictures of a naughty Santa float around the internet, but I'll deny it if you ask me again. She seemed happy doing what she did, as we watched Haruhi drink the tough American soldiers to the floor. Sasaki's group was low-key, but Kunikida was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Kuyoh. Ah, forget it, I'll find his corpse tomorrow.
That bastard's face was in a shallower scowl, his evil attitude muted for this affair. Who really rules that group? Does Sasaki know more then she lets on? I don't know enough about them to draw any conclusion, but I fear if I do I will sympathize with them, make friends with them. It's something that I don't really want to do. Nagato looked bored at the whole scene, and I couldn't tell if she wanted anything at all. She had been roped into the drinking contest and those tequilla shots haven't affected her one bit.
My sister is having fun. She seems to be one of the only kinds of people that can handle both adults and children. She can handle Haruhi extremely well, adjusting to her childish whims and adult temper evenly, keeping her interested throughout. I should be wary of her in the future. Her genetics obviously are better then mine. Koizumi is watching with interest, staring at my sister in a way that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Don't be a lolicon, Koizumi.
Mikuru touched me on the back, and I hesitated. She was going to say something, but instead she gave me a hug from behind. This bustling thing, this euphoria – would this last forever? Would it give out at all? Is this what people want most from life? I don't know what to expect from the world's future, but if I can trust my own judgement and be prudent I'm sure that everything will turn out okay.
"Kyon, can you go and take out the trash?" Mikuru smiled a concerned smile as the growing pile of empty beer cans and other trash accumulated in our small garbage bin. "It's cold outside, so make sure you wear a jacket." Ah, her voice makes my heart melt. She's the ideal woman – polite, reserved, pretty, with depth.
"Sure," I said, and I walked out into the street. I left the party behind to the quiet of the city. The moon was shining a bright, white color in contrast to the amber yellow of the street. My shoes crunched on the hardened snow as I walked down the sidewalk.
"Is your name Kyon?" A voice from behind me said.
"Yes," I said hesitantly.
A clicking sound and large explosion made my ears ring. I fell to the floor. I was shot. Why? There was a brief stab of pain as I coughed up blood.
"Sayonara, you bastard." A distinctly feminine voice – where have I heard it before? - was the last thing I heard before everything faded to black.