The disclaimer is stuck in Moonside. Mo on s id e. M o on s i de. Here's a strange idea I got when I saw the Evo design for Mastermind. Oh, and excuse the grammar.

Todd sat in an alley like it was nobody's business. He snagged a fly, then leaned back to enjoy some quiet time alone. Of course, someone else had other plans for him.

"Hello, Todd," an old, hairy man in a dirty coat said.

"Uh... hey. Who... wait, aren't you that guy Magneto was gettin' to screw with Wanda's head?"

"I am Jason Wyngarde... or as you might remember me, Mastermind. We have much to talk about, Todd."

"Uh... like what?"

"...Mystique never told you what happened to your father."

"Sure she did. She said he died in a shipping accident."

"No. I am your father."

X-Men: Evolution
"Toad's Father"
King of the Worthless

"My... wha?!"

"That's right, Todd. I am your father. The resemblance is undeniable."

"A little yeah... holy shit, you ARE my dad!"

"We have to do some catching up, son. How about we go see a ball game?"

"Sure!"

--------------------

Several hours later, Todd and Mastermind walked into the Brotherhood house, carrying bags of popcorn and wearing baseball caps. Todd even had a giant foam hand.

"Uh... what's this all about?" Pietro said. "Who's the homeless guy?"

"Hey, show some respect! This here's my dad, yo!"

"Your dad?"

"I am Mastermind," Mastermind said.

"Oh, wait, you're the guy my dad got to..." Pietro noticed Wanda was walking down the stairs. "...Do that job... with the pipes."

"Yo, sweetums! Meet your father-in-law!" Wanda groaned and walked back up the stairs. Todd shrugged. "Hey, if you're gonna stay here, I might as well get one of th' spare rooms ready for you!" Todd happily hopped up the stairs.

"So you're Todd's roommates," Mastemind said to Pietro. "I was expecting you to live in better conditions, given who your father is, Pietro."

"Yeah, well, we'll take care of that later." They stood silent for a few moments before Pietro ran upstairs. Mastermind followed him, curious to see his room.

"Yo, dad! Here's your master suite!" Todd had picked up some of the debris in Mystique's room. Pietro would've stopped him, but he with Magneto on his side, he decided not to.

"An elegant room," Mastermind said.

"Only th' best for my dad!"

--------------------

Early the next morning, Todd and Mastermind had decided to go fishing. Lake Bayville had few visitors because... well... let's say Todd was quite comfortable there.

"I think all th' fish are dead, pops."

"That only makes them easier to catch!" Mastermind scooped a fish into a net and dumped it into a bucket. "See? There's one already. Go ahead, Todd. Give it a try."

"Uh... okay." Todd took the net and nervously looked at the water. "Okay, okay... uh..."

"It's all about patience, Todd. Wait for the fish to take the bait." The fish floated in the water as the waves carried it closer to the boat. "That's it... that's it..."

"Almost got 'im..."

"You're doing good, son!" Todd pulled the fish in and dumped it into the bucket.

"I did it! I caught a fish!" Todd gave his father a hug. "Okay, okay, lemme fish with my tongue now?"

"I... don't think you want to put your tongue in this water."

"Aw, c'mon, I've put my tongue on dirtier things."

"Well... alright. Go for it, son!" Todd dipped his tongue into the water. Immediately, something bit, and he reeled it in. "Uh... what is that thing?"

"It's a mutant fish!" Todd said. The mutant fish flopped around on the boat, looking at Todd and Mastermind with its seventeen eyes.

"Please... send me back in..." the fish pleaded.

"Yo, this is freaky, pops. This ain't one of your mind tricks, is it?"

"No..." Suddenly, the fish was no longer a mutant. "That is."

"Whoa... sweet... wait, you wanna keep this thing?"

"Well... I don't know. How do you think it will taste?"

--------------------

Mastermind, Todd, Pietro, Fred, Wanda and Lance sat at the seldom-used table in the dining room. Todd and Fred had prepared a meal for the "family," which included... well, they hadn't really prepared a known dish. It was some sort of meat covered in some sort of sauce... as far as Fred and the others knew, anyway. Todd and Mastermind decided to keep the mystery meat a secret. The only ones who seemed to enjoy it were Todd, Mastermind, and not surprisingly, Fred.

"That was a delicious meal, son," Mastermind said. They all left the table and went back to their usual activities. Lance, Pietro, and Wanda went upstairs to lie down while their stomachs stopped throbbing. Mastermind sat in the chair in the living room, reading the newspaper. Todd hopped in and sat down on the couch.

"Son, it's time we had... the talk."

"The talk...?"

"The talk, son. You see... when a man and a woman love each other... they do a certain thing..." Mastermind hadn't realized how hard it would be. "Okay, for example, think of this as being the man," Mastermind said, holding his index finger up, then making an 'O' with his other hand, "And this is the woman."

"I don't get it."

"Well... you see..." He put the finger in the 'O' and looked at Todd. "This is what you do."

"I... uh... wait, that's... ew!"

"That's how it is, Todd. One day, you and... er..."

"Wanda?" Todd said with a clear note of hope in his voice.

"Okay, Wanda... you and Wanda will... uh... oh, ask your mother!"

--------------------

It was time for the annual Father-Son Day in Bayville. Several fathers and their sons gathered in Bayville Park. Some flew kites, some played catch... but a certain pair had other plans.

"Oh man, I've been wantin' to do this for years!" Todd said. He sat in a tree with Mastermind, watching a certain Kurt Wagner tossing a frisbee with a Mr. Wagner.

"Haffing a güd time, son?" Mr. Wagner said in poor English.

"Yeah, dad!"

"So what do you have planned, son?" Mastermind asked.

"Okay... okay... uh... here's an idea. Make everyone think they both look like they're wearing 'AMERICA SUCKS' t-shirts!"

"Very well." Mastermind's eyes glowed, and he waved his fingers. The other fathers and sons looked at the Wagners in anger.

"Vat? Vat eez wrong vith us?" Mr. Wagner asked.

"TERRORISTS!"

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked. To him, they looked normal. He double-checked to make sure his image inducer wasn't malfunctioning. The other fathers and sons ran towards the Wagners in angry lynch-mob style. Quickly, Kurt grabbed his father and teleported into the tree.

"Terrorists AND mutants!" someone yelled.

"Busted!" Todd told Kurt. It was only then that he realized Todd and his own father were there.

"Toad! You... guy! You did this!"

"No... I'm afraid you're mistaken," Todd said. He mouthed 'squirrels' to his dad. "We're just two little squirrels." Mastermind did his trick, and Kurt and his father believed they had been talking to squirrels.

"Just two... little... squirrels." Kurt and his father teleported away. Todd and Mastermind shared a laugh, but then realized that there was an angry mob below them, who was out for blood, even if it wasn't from who they intended.

"Er... crap. Mass illusion, pops?"

"I have a better idea." Mastermind grabbed Todd's shoulders.

"Wha-?"

"Let's see your long jump, son!" Todd jumped out of the tree and over the crowd, with Mastermind hanging on.

"Yo, we're clear!" Todd landed several feet away from the crowd, which still barked up the tree.

"You'd make an excellent evil genius, son!"

"Haha, I learn from th' master!" Todd and Mastermind continued running down the street.

--------------------

"Son!" Mastermind called up the stairs early in the morning. Todd walked down the steps, half-asleep, rubbing his eyes. "Son, today I'm going to teach you how to drive a car!"

"Huh? I already know, pops."

"Oh. You do?"

"Yeah."

"I see... uh... then I'll teach you to ride a bike!"

"I know that, too."

"Well... what else can I teach you?"

"I dunno, pops. I ain't got much inspiration at six in th' mornin'. Ask me again when I wake up." Todd walked back up the stairs.

"Todd, get down here."

"Awww..."

"If I can't teach you any skills, than I'll teach you the value of getting up early. Now, go to the living room and clean it up."

"What? Awww..."

"Don't whine, Todd. After all, your hopping caused most of the mess."

"I guess it did, didn't it? Heh. Okay."

"Oh, also," Mastermind added, "I'm expecting a few guests tonight. I'd like to introduce you to them, so I want you to look your best."

"Uh... okay."

--------------------

Mastermind sat in the living room with his guests, Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw. His illusions did not fool Emma, so he didn't bother. The living room itself had been cleaned and now appeared decent. Lance walked in with a tray of... some sort of snacks, he didn't know what Fred had called them.

"May I offer you a whore-divorce?"

"Why yes, thank you," Sebastian said, playing on Lance's mispronounciation. He and Emma took some... whore-divorces... and Lance walked back into the kitchen, with the others.

"This is humiliating," he said. "Now Toad, you said there's a hundred bucks in it for me, right?"

"Yeah, yeah... I just don't wanna make pops look bad..." Pietro stifled a laugh, but Todd ignored him. "Or worse, make me look bad. Now, we got some champagne, right?"

"Yes, Toad," Wanda said. She poured three glasses of it. "Now, you said I get a hundred dollars and you stop harrassing me?"

"Yeah, I'll stop harrassin' you fortherestofth'day."

"WHAT?!"

"I said I'll stop harrasin' you, and the rest here are gay, so you won't have any problems!" Todd grinned nervously. Wanda carried the champagne out to them. Wanda returned and nodded to Todd. Todd then walked into the living room, standing as straight as possible.

"There he is. Emma, Sebastian, I want you to meet my son, apprentice and heir, Todd Tolensky."

"Good evening," Todd said, bowing and disguising his accent.

"I see the resemblance," Emma said, intending it as an insult. "Now, Todd, why do you have a different last name than your father?"

"I pride myself on individuality," Todd lied.

"At least he has values," Sebastian said. "I have a son about your age, Todd... he's in New York right now. The two of you should meet some day."

"That would be great, sir." Mastermind gave Todd a mental signal. "If you'll excuse me, I have training to do." Todd bowed once more and walked out of the living room and back into the kitchen.

"That was quick," Pietro said.

"Yeah... I think th' lady in white was readin' my mind."

"Like you have one to read. So now that I'm done here, I've got other stuff to do." Pietro ran up the stairs, fully aware that he had done nothing. Nearly an hour later, Emma and Sebastian finally left. Todd paid his housemates, and then hopped into the living room.

"Yo, pops. How'd it go?"

"I didn't get in."

"Oh man... I'm sorry, it was all my fault..."

"No, it wasn't your fault, son. I made a bad joke about Sebastian's son trying to kill him, and apparently, it hit a little close to home. Oh well. I can try again in a year."

"Sorry, pops. I know that club meant a lot to you."

"It's alright, it's alright. I just need some rest is all." Mastermind got up and walked upstairs to his room. Todd shrugged and hopped back into the kitchen.

--------------------

Another typical day at the Brotherhood house. Mastermind sat with the newspaper while the others ran about doing their usual crap. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Go get it, Fred!" Pietro yelled.

"You go get it!" Fred yelled back.

"That's enough, boys!" Mastermind said. "Todd, could you get the door?"

"Sure thing, pops!" Todd hopped to the door. "May I he-AAAAAAH!"

"Toad." Magneto walked in. Pietro immediately lined up at the door, standing at attention. "Not now, Pietro. I've come to see Mastermind."

"...Er... what can I do for you?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm just spending time with my son."

"Pietro is my son, Mastermind."

"No, I mean Todd."

"You..." Magneto was disgusted. "You mean there was a woman out there that actually...?"

"I am a master of illusions, Magneto..."

"Of course, of course... Mastermind, I need you to do something else for me."

"Can it wait?" Magneto bent the stair railing to detain Mastermind. "I see your point... well, it looks like we'll have to catch up some other time, Todd."

"Aw, can't he stay a little longer?" Todd asked.

"No." Just then, Wanda came down the stairs.

"Daddy!"

"Uh... Wanda! Hi... how are you?"

"I'm fine. Come to visit us?"

"Uh... not really. I'm afraid I'm busy at the moment." Wanda frowned. "But don't worry. I'll come visit soon, I promise. Come, Mastermind." Magneto left the Brotherhood house, followed by Mastermind.

"It was great seeing you, dad," Todd said. "Write to me or somethin', okay?"

"I will." The door closed behind Mastermind. Todd sat on the ground, depressed. The others went back to what they were doing.

"Hey! Depressed Toad here!"

"Quit whining!" Lance yelled. Todd shrugged and hopped upstairs.

The End

Well, it might not be true, but don't tell me Mastermind didn't remind you a little of Toad, especially considering his Evo design seems to resemble the original Toad more than it does the original Mastermind.