Chapter 25

It was a strange and hard day to say the least.

Marty Deeks never thought that his day would turn out to be such an odd one.

He could almost smell Christmas and his well-deserved time off as soon as he woke up that morning. Now, what he didn't know back then was that they would be forced to work on a case that would make Kensi dive into old painful memories.

He had to witness, along with Callen and Sam, as she broke down while interrogating the only witness of the crime they were investigating and also the only suspect so far, a man suffering from PTSD. The tears in her eyes almost made him run to her and hug her tightly to him until he was absolutely sure she wasn't sad anymore. That's his normal reaction to her sadness. It's not something he sees in her face very often but it kills him every single time it happens.

But he couldn't do something like that.

It would have been completely unprofessional; even though he was sure the other two members of the team had the urge to do the exact same thing. They are like big-brothers to her and would both jump and defend her against anything without even thinking twice about it.

Sam seemed to be as clueless about the whole thing as he was but Callen didn't seem surprised. In fact, the way his jaw tightened and his fists clenched were a clear indication that this story wasn't strange to him. This should make him jealous but he does the math in his head and figures Callen was already familiar with Kensi back then. And it's good to know Kensi had someone there for her, even before he came along.

During the day he saw as his partner got closer to that man, too close for his liking even. But he didn't say a word about it once again because, even though it was kind of a strange sight to witness, he had the feeling that she needed that.

She never got the closure she needed when it came to Jack so the wrap up of this case might be something pretty similar to closure for her. She needed to get to the bottom of this case, no matter what. He had never been in a situation like this one before so he didn't know how she felt. However, it must have hurt because Kensi Blye is not the kind of girl who cries over nothing.

When he saw her trying to fight against the PTSD guy (he doesn't even bother remembering his name) and saw how he hit his partner on the head he acted based upon his fear of losing her.

After they finally close the case he asked her to join him on his Christmas plan.

He could almost hear the 'no' coming out of her mouth and an 'I prefer to spend the evening alone with some ice cream, a cold beer and my TV'. So he was pleasantly surprised when she accepted his offer with a smile when she wasn't even aware of what exactly his plans for the evening included. And her smile only got bigger when they reached their destination.

Now, they are walking slowly towards her house.

She told him that she felt like walking home and, even though her house is 7 miles away, he could never say no to her. The night sky is clear and the temperature just right for a walk so he doesn't mind it that much and does it without complaining.

The truth is that he would have walked with her anyway, even if it was raining hard and the temperature outside as cold as the one inside a fridge just to be with her for a little while longer. The silence between them is confortable but she breaks it with a sigh.

He looks at her and speaks for the first time since they started walking.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He knows she's probably going to use her famous 'I'm fine' card but he has to ask anyway. But it seems like this is the night of surprises because she looks at him and stops walking. They're a mile away from her house, close to a park that is desert at this hour on Christmas night.

"I met Jack when I turned 18 years old. He was sweet and kind with me. I felt kind of lonely without my father so I got close to him. One thing led to another and two years later I was engaged. Then he was deployed and when he got back, even before he was diagnosed with PTSD, I knew I didn't love him or at least not nearly enough to marry him. The only reason why I was with him was because he reminded me of my father."

She pauses, taking a deep breath but not breaking the eye contact between them. They are just standing there and the few people that occasionally show up on the street probably think they're crazy but they're both way past caring at this point. People can think whatever they want to. In fact, people should mind their own damn business.

She continues sharing the painful memory with him. "I was going to break up with him. But then he was diagnosed with PTSD and I had to stay…I had to take care of him. When he disappeared everyone thought my sadness was because he left. But that wasn't exactly true. I was sad because he didn't say a damn thing. I valued his friendship and he left without a word. It felt like betrayal to me and that's why it hurt so much."

Deeks nods and she smiles softly before starting to walk once again.

Deeks walks with her, not sure of what he's supposed to say or do. She trusted him enough to share something as personal as this with him, something that not even Sam knew about her.

But Kensi surprises him once again.

She reaches for his hand and intertwines their fingers.

Deeks squeezes her hand gently and smiles, even though she's not looking at him.

As they walk to her house hand-in-hand, wrapped up in a confortable silence, he can't help but feel like this is meant to be. This is right where he belongs and that has never been clearer in his mind.

When they finally reach her house, Kensi turns to him with a soft smile on her face.

"I know you think I'm crazy but I'd like to show you my Christmas tradition now. I have plenty of ice cream and beer. Do you want to join me?"

Deeks offers her his goofy smile. "Ice cream and beer sound pretty appealing right now, actually."

Kensi unlocks the door and pulls him inside with her. He chooses a DVD from her ridiculously good collection while she retrieves the ice cream and the beer from the kitchen. She hands him a spoon and a beer and settles the ice cream on the couch, between the two of them.

Three hours, 6 beers and two bowls of ice cream later they find themselves fast asleep on her couch, her head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around her.

On the TV, her favorite movie continued to play, not aware of the lack of assistance.

"Look Doris, someday you're going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn't work. And when you do, don't overlook those lovely intangibles. You'll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile."

X

X

Next chapter will be rated M so please don't read if you're offended by that content or under the proper age to read such a thing.

Here's a small sneak-peak:

Yeah, there's definitely something in her eyes that she's trying to hide from him and she's actually being successful. "So if I showed up at your door in my LAPD uniform, you'd be strong enough to resist me?"

"I have this little thing called self-control. It takes more than that to make me jump you!"

And the opportunity is just too good to ignore. The words are leaving his mouth before he even has the time to think things through. "What would make you jump me?"

Now, I'm feeling nice today so we're going to play the review's game again.

Less than 12 reviews will make me update in a week or longer.

In between 12 and 20 reviews you'll get your update in exactly 5 days.

From 20 to 25 reviews, the update will come in 4 days.

From 25 reviews up you'll read it in 3 days.

If I receive more than 30 (which I doubt) you'll read it in only two days.

I know I shouldn't use reviews as bribery but it seems to be the only way to receive some feedback. The review doesn't need to be a nice one, as long as it is honest. That's what makes people improve their work and push themselves to become better.

Sarah