Naruto was sitting at a desk. "They say that no news is good news. No way. If there were no news, it would be doomsday, but mark my words. When methane fireballs from the sky come to this planet, we'll be there, reporting the latest...why? I don't know...that's the Naruto News Show to you."

Naruto News Show: Series Three

By PikaFlash And the News Team

Edition 5: And Right Now...

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.

Naruto sits at his news desk.

"Hello, fat cats. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. And on the news this chapter..."

Tsunade loses big at the Chocobo race that stops the World. What else is new?

Aerith Gainsborough still dead after 10 years.

And Halloween Celebrated a few days too late.

Naruto looks at the camera. "Before we get to the news, I would like to say that Konoha has been regarded as one of the best Hidden Shinobi Villages of it's time. Though I would say the opposite if we're talking about Japan and it's clueless President. I mean what kind of President would be allowed to have a Vice-President who obliterated entire planets and races? I mean, Vegeta's Agricultural policies doesn't seem all that bad if it means taking over other planets to make more plants for food, but how does that compare to us if we are those same people everyone else is talking about. I mean our leader bets the entire Hospital Budget on a race while the other spends the entire Military budget on his lunch."

Ouch!

Naruto shuffles his papers. "Now then, on to Digimon News as the reign of a dictator is over," said Naruto. "So, has the presence of Pokémons in the Digi-World made life better? Otogakure correspondent Sasuke Uchiha reports and is still reporting there."

Sasuke Uchiha - Otogakure Correspondent

Digimons were running away from the crossfire...

Sasuke (V/O): "As Digimons run away from the dangers in their own world, the question every Digimon are asking is 'would Sasuke will ever return to Konoha?' Well, last time the Digimons had a crisis, Sora Takenouchi has dumped Taichi Yagami for Yamato Ishida, making Digimon Adventure 02 the most boycotted Anime series by Taiora fans. Other pressing issues include: 'How long does it take for Satoshi to travel from one Pokémon Gym to another?'"

Sasuke is giving his report via satellite phone near some ruined buildings. "And of course, DragonBall Z was only aired here in the Digi-World, adding more questions than answers the Digimons know, like 'why does 5 minutes take about 5 episodes to go by if we only get one episode a week?'"

Sasuke quickly ducked as an explosion was heard.

"But the solution? Importing American TV shows to the Digi-World, bring back realism to Television over here, because if these Digimons never heard of Britney Spears, then these Digimons have been living in a cave. This is Sasuke Uchiha for the Naruto News Show..."

Sasuke ducks again as another explosion occurred nearby...

Naruto looks up. "Is it a joke or is it not a joke? That's what everyone talking about as the news of the expected loss of the Hokage's bet and the hospital budget has reached the ears of the hospitals, not that I'm saying that the hospitals has ears. In an attempt to please the hospital, the Hokage herself tried to make it sound as though it was a joke and it didn't work. So, in here with me are Neji Hyuga, member of the Branch Hyuga House and Hanabi Hyuga, member of the Main Hyuga House."

Sitting at the News desk on both sides of Naruto are Neji and Hanabi. Naruto looks at Neji. "Neji, has the Hokage let the cat out of the bag by making her bet look like a joke?"

Neji shakes his head. "No, Naruto. Clearly it seems that Tsunade telling a good joke is a joke. After all, the last time she bet the hospital budget on something, Sakura was the only worker at the hospital while the others had to find ways of fundraising."

Naruto looks at Hanabi. "Hanabi, has the Hokage really lost her sense of humor?"

Hanabi smiled. "Unfortunately, yes. You see, we Hyugas know what a Joke is."

"And what is a Joke?" asks Naruto.

"Well, the idea that Tsunade will win a bet. Now that's a joke," Hanabi answered and she laughed.

"You find it funny?" Naruto asked.

"Well, it would if it wasn't so serious."

Naruto asks another question. "So, is it a joke or not?

"It's a serious joke," Hanabi explained.

"Is it funny?"

"No, it is not"

"But you laughed," Naruto points out.

"I was joking," said Hanabi.

"You were joking about it being funny?"

Hanabi nods. "Yes."

"I don't think Hanabi-sama is joking," Neji said. "She laughed and she thought it was funny. I think that Hanabi-sama already had a joke in her mind before she even answered the question."

Hanabi retorts. "Hey, just because I laughed at something doesn't mean that it was funny."

"So, you laugh at things that aren't funny?" Naruto asked.

Hanabi gives a look at Naruto. "Of course."

Naruto nods. "Could it be that's what the Hokage said when she told a joke which wasn't funny?"

Hanabi disagreed. "No, because that was a serious."

"So what's the difference between a serious comment and a joke that isn't funny?" asked Naruto.

"I give up," said Hanabi.

"No, that wasn't a joke," said Naruto.

Neji was laughing and Naruto looks at Neji. "What the hell are you laughing at, Neji?"

"Oh sorry, thought that was funny," Neji said.

Naruto looks at a camera. "Orochimaru in Otogakure, do you know what a joke is?"

Orochimaru in Otogakure

Orochimaru is speechless.

Naruto: "As I thought."

An Edit Later...

Naruto was by himself at his news desk.

Further News.

"In further news, Japanese Police has begun a raid on suspected Drug hideouts in Northern Japan, killing 11 suspected Drug Dealers. However, human rights groups are claiming that the authorities are using the Drug problem as an excuse to kill Civilians."

Japanese Election Propaganda: The world belongs to the Digimons...

"Meanwhile back in Konoha, this Instant Ramen packet made its way to the streets and floats around in the breeze..."

In the streets of Konoha, the Instant Ramen packet floats around in the breeze...

Back to Naruto at his news desk. "And right now..."

Hinata was standing under a tree.

"...this," finished Hinata.

Ad Break

A bunch of household cleaning products were on a bench.

Voiceover: "Are there household cleaning products that claiming to be environmentally friendly? Hard to pick which one you want? Now there is a brand new range of products..."

A box of a new cleaning product appears.

Voiceover: "'Revive Dead Foxes'! It is a revolutionary new product that not only expertly cleans everything..."

Hinata is holding a clean shirt.

Voiceover: "...they actually bring deceased Vulpine back from the dead."

A hunter carries dead foxes on a stick.

Voiceover: "Revive Dead Foxes: Expert Cleaning for the Environment. Range includes Laundry Powder, Rat Poison and Drain Cleaner."

Back to Naruto at his desk. "But right now..."

"...this," finished Sakura and Sasuke, sitting alone in a cinema.

Naruto brings us the next report. "Professional Shinobi turned amateur Mountain climber Obito Uchiha has been missing for 2 weeks at the mountains of Snow Country. But there are some good news and bad news for the Uchiha Family. The good news is that Obito has been found with an arm under a boulder, out of food and knowing that desperate measures are called for, he used a pocket knife to cut off his arm. The bad news is that Obito cut off the wrong arm and later got eaten by wolves."

Naruto looks at another camera. "Give me a second." Naruto writes on a sheet of paper, then looks back at the camera. "Back to Digimon news as the File Island Infinity Mountain Dam, because it is on Infinity Mountain and a Dam, is on the verge of collapse. Ino Yamanaka is upriver."

Ino Yamanaka Reporting on File Island, Digi-World

A dam is seen in the Digi-World

Ino: "Damn it. That's what Digimon engineers said what to do with the only river on File Island back in the year 2000. And the result: The File Island Infinity Mountain Dam, recently awarded the 'World's Most Dangerous Dam'. Analysts say that the collapse will release a 20 meter high wall of water, equal to the size of a 20 meter high building, making File Island temporary the Surf Capital of the Digi-World. The expected loss of life would not be seen on a scale since the Pokémons arrive. The only choice for the Digimons: Under Fire or Under Water. Ino Yamanaka for the Naruto News Show."

Naruto was laughing back at his desk. "Only in Tokyo. Before we go, let's take a look at the highlights of the previous Naruto Shippuden Episode."

A Pikachu is drinking a bottle of Sake.

"One of my favorite episodes," Naruto said. "And let's look at the headlines for tomorrow's papers..."

Konoha Times - Werewolf attacks Konoha

Naruto: "Something about Konoha's preferences on who is the better President of Japan..."

Konoha Herald - Red Meat Prices on the Rise

Naruto: And something cryptic by this news paper.

Le Bone - Meurtre sur la piste de danse

Naruto: "And something in French on Le Bone."

"Now, I like to laugh like the next man," said Naruto.

The Prince of Saiyans, Vegeta was evilly laughing.

"But not as evil as he is," Naruto said. "So, until next time, wrap your legs around your fox plushie and hope I don't kill you. Until next time, on DragonBall Z..."