Epilogue

"The books selling well mum." The church yard was looking beautiful on that chilly morning. The sun was out, the grass slightly over growing and wild and the cold air was refreshing in my lungs. My mother's grave was a small, grey headstone amongst some weeds. I leaned forward to pluck them from about it, making a little pile beside me as I returned to my position, cross legged before gravestone.

Steve was off in the distance, outside the fence of the church, waiting in the vintage, electric blue car as I spent some time with my mother. Tony had let us borrow one of his cars when Steve told him what we were going to do. I wasn't allowed to ride the motorbike; they didn't think it was good idea as my ribs, although almost healed, were still fragile.

"I'm making some great money. You probably know that…" I continued, struggling to find the words to say, "Err, also y-you probably know about what I've been doing the past few months. Um, not including the book." Rubbing my temples, my elbows on my knees and shut my eyes tight, "God, why is this so hard?" with an exasperated breathe, I readjusted my posture, sitting up straight, trying to clear my head. Stop thinking about what you say, I thought, just talk to her.

Staring intently at the stone, I was overwhelmed as I truly acknowledged where I was, after so many months of not coming to this place. Knowing I would never see her no matter how hard I hoped. "I miss you," my voice trembled as I said this at last, tears forming in my eyes, threatening to spill over. Wiping them away only encouraged them more and I gave a shaky laugh.

"Mum, I miss you so much and I'm sorry for not coming to see you… I just cou-couldn't do it. How am I supposed to say goodbye?" I began to wipe at my nose with a tissue I had in my pocket, pulling idly at the grass with my free hand, as I said, "It's been so tough mum… who'd have thought that I'd help The Avengers save the world? I'm pretty sure a lot of things wouldn't have happened if I took the advice of those around me, though... like the broken ribs and the threats to my own life. I'm not a good listener… but I listen to you. I wanted your advice most of all." With a sniff, I cleared my face a bit, the tears finally stopping.

"I'm talking too much, sorry." I looked down at my hands in my lap, only just realizing my jeans were absorbing the moisture in the ground, but it didn't bother me.

"I can reassure you of something mum," lifting by gaze back to the headstone, a small smile on my lips, weak but true, "I'm happy…and I'm safe. After you went, I didn't think I'd ever fully feel right. Even with the Jacksons, I adore them, they helped me adjust to my life in the city, I just-I didn't feel fully comfortable in myself.

"Even Terry - I mean Loki – I never felt I was protected or at home. It wasn't until I was at the Tower that… I knew things were getting better, in here." I pointed to my head, "and then the book… and then Loki at New Year. I got careless there. I didn't realise how much I mattered still. The team, I love them like family… Steve, I love him. Mum I'm really happy. When you died, I felt like I was ten, I felt lost and then all this happened. You were there to hold my hand the whole time, I know that now. I love you mum, thank you for raising me," This time when the tears came, I let them fall, as I rose to my feet.

"I'll come back as soon as I can and… I'm gonna miss you every day."

At that I turned, and with a lightness I hadn't felt in so long, I strolled through the church yard with a sad smile on my face and tear stains on my cheeks.

Passing through the gates, Steve noticed me and stepped out of the car to go around and open my side, touching my shoulder as he held the door open, sympathetic, "You okay?"

I nodded, the smile not fading as I climbed in.

Once both belted up in our seats, Steve glanced at me to see if I really was all right, he started the engine, pulling out and driving through the little town I'd only known briefly. on the highway, I rested my head against the window, watching the road, seeing the blur of the lines as we sped along, having at last spoken to my mother, seen her resting place.

OOOoOOO

Steve drove us to the Jacksons where we had a long, anticipated talk. They were over the moon to see me and I returned the affection. I was glad to finally talk to them. They told me that had a new housekeeper, who wasn't as good as me and not nearly as friendly but did her job well enough. They complained about being made to leave the city during New Year, that it wasn't as easy for them as the news bulletins made it out to be. Steve and I didn't tell them about what actually happened to me, didn't think it was fair to have them be concerned about it, and they'd feel bad for not being able to help.

I saw them every week after that meeting.

OOOoOOO

During my weeks of healing, Bruce did watch the last Harry Potter films, he liked them… not love but I guess science and magic don't always blend. Especially emotionally corruptive, mind-blowing, heart-breaking, satisfying end to such an awesome wizard… ever!

He attended quite a few movie evenings with me as I recovered; I loved hanging out with him casually without the fear of the world being conquered. I loved living with the Avengers without the fear of being abducted. This did feel like home.

Thor returned within a week, weaker but happy to be back on earth, the place he adored so much, often visiting his love Jane. I thought she was lovely when she came to visit Thor, of course when I first met her I looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame more than an actual woman but she was polite enough about my state.

Tony, Pepper, Natasha and Clint were not always around there were businesses to run and promote and S.H.I.E.L.D missions to take care of. In Iron Man's case, there were also people to harass for his own amusement. Actually he did that to cheer me up while I was recovering, he'd have me sit and wait conspicuously whilst he pranked Bruce and Steve. The flour in the face one had me in stitches, Cap was so mad about that. He couldn't seem to prank Clint or Natasha though, they knew too much.

The time I spent with them was always lovely. Like I said, it was like a family. I loved them.

And yet there was still an ache in my heart whenever I thought about Loki, I was so relieved that he wasn't executed. He was getting what he deserved…and more. Yet he was going to live existence alone, and that thought of him having no one was a terrible, terrible thought for me to accept. Loki was still that friend, no matter what he had done, I could never truly hate him, what he did was awful but who he is deep down, that was Terry.

I think Steve understood this; he was the only one who really knew the entirety of my relationship with Terry/Loki. He accepted it. Steve was the greatest man I knew, and I'd never felt that way about anyone before.

OOOoOOO

A couple of days after my trip to the church yard, Cap and I were in his part of the Tower, I lay on his bed, in my pyjamas as he went to make morning hot chocolate. I'd decided to go into his room earlier and we had just had a little talk.

Cocooned in the blanket, I looked around the room. It was still neat, with little furniture or possessions, there was not clutter like my room. It was surprisingly comfortable here though; I guess I just found comfort from being with Steve. I couldn't imagine leaving…

In strolled Captain America, the inspiring leader of the Avengers, with a tray. On it were two mugs of steaming hot chocolate and a couple of bowls of Cap'n Crunch, he'd discovered them on one of his independent trips to the store and he couldn't get enough of them. He placed it on the bed side table and climbed in the bed, nudging me to claim some of the blanket. I reluctantly did.

"Here," he reached over to give me my breakfast, taking his as well, handing me a spoon.

"Thank you, you take such good care of me Rogers."

"You're welcome," and we ate, "I've got to see Fury in a couple of hours and then Clint and I have got some other things to deal with, you know, plans, protecting the world and so on. I'll be done by five, so, what do you want do?" he asked.

"We could hang around here. Movie night?"

"I think we need to get out, well you need to get out more."

"Hey, I'm a patient!"

"The last of the hospital equipment was taken from your room! You don't even take the painkillers anymore. You are a practically perfect, published author who needs to get outside."
"Can't I just go out onto the balcony?" I moaned, as I placed my empty bowl to the side.

"No, I know what we're going to do," he did the same and handed me my drink, "We are going to eat out." He gulped down his chocolate, and made a noise of approval placing the bowl on the side, "Love this cereal."

Nodding, the idea seeming not too bad, I snuggled close to him and murmured, "Like a date?"

"Yeah, would this be our first official date?"

With surprise as I sat up, turning my body to face him, legs crossed, "I think it is." I chuckled.

"Well," he smiled, crookedly, "We haven't been very traditional, what with you saving my life, literally." His eye brows raised, his bright blue eyes looking lovingly at me.

"Stop talking about that. Come on; time to get ready for another-" I rolled backwards but misjudging how much bed room remained, I rolled off the mattress and crumpled to the floor, "Crap."

"Are you okay?" Steve jumped off the bed as I slowly stood up, using the bed as support.

Nodding absently, feeling his hand on my elbow, I turned on my heel and clumsily made my way across the room to leave, "I'll see you at seven."

OOOoOOO

Pepper sat on the couch with her cup of coffee and I sat opposite her, sipping at tea. She didn't have any urgent business today so we decided to chat.

"Where's Steve taking you?" she smiled expectantly, loving to hear details about any date.

"We haven't decided yet, I hope it isn't fancy. I just can't do those things." I shook my head as I tried to imagine myself in a five star restaurant.

"Tony's kind of the same; it's embarrassing when we go out. He always has something to say." Chuckling to herself, she continued, "I guess that's something I love about him. He'll look out for me but also be the thorn in my side. Keeps life interesting when I organize Tony's life."

I nodded in agreement and sighed absently. Draining my mug, I pondered before I said, "I'm the pain for Steve. I can't help it. I wake up some mornings and tell myself, 'Kim sort yourself out' and every day I end up doing something a little daft. I'm amazed that he even likes my company. That he ever liked my company. Because I love his company, I like hearing about his past, the past."

"Maybe you're the blast from the present he needed," Pepper stated, "he's more relaxed now. They were all worried about him when he first came to. And even when I met him, the guy looked so helpless. What was worse was that he tried to hide it, he wanted to be brave."

"He's Captain America; he wants to live up to that title." I smiled sadly, glad that she recognised that in him. It was also good to hear that he seemed more confident, even I noticed. I didn't think it was all down to me but perhaps I contributed a little. He had to get used to my crap. Pop culture was a common occurrence in my dialogue. "He wants to be our hope. I'm not surprised that he was frightened to admit it." I didn't mention that I believed that he was scared about losing his past. That if he moved on, he thought that Peggy would become a lost memory to him, a face he could see in his mind but not remember a name to. I reassured him that it would never happen. You don't forget the ones you love.

"He's very grateful to you, we all are. You make a nice addition to the Tower." Her grin was infectious and I began to giggle, finding it funny that people could even think of me like that. I struggled to accept Steve saying it.

"I'm grateful to you guys, you let me stay. You could have sent me away once I told you all I knew. Imagine what a dull existence I would've had."

The topic of conversation became lighter after this and within a couple of hours it was time for me to return to my room, shower and beautify myself before me and Steve's 'date'. It took an hour or two longer because I was having a battle with face. Why it wouldn't look cute and all that.

Pepper gave me some of her amazing perfume. It smelt sweet but not sickly, slightly fruity. Honestly, it made me feel better about myself as I looked in the mirror at my reflection one last time before I left to meet Cap. Not too shabby, I thought.

OOOoOOO

No matter how much I enjoyed every second at the Tower, it's newly repaired structures and comfortable rooms, we just needed time to ourselves. Steve and I went to get something to eat; we didn't go to any stuffy restaurants. Dressed in a casual navy blue dress, dark tights and sneakers, he in his usual clothes, we went down to garage.

We borrowed the car again and drove to the Hudson River, grabbing some unromantic fast food on the way, parking up. Taking it with us as we strolled along silently, it wasn't long before we selected a bench to sit on, looking over the beautiful water, under the crescent moon, an eerie silver glow upon it.

Our coats pulled tightly about us, the evenings still very cold, we consumed our burgers and fries, each with a milkshake, staying cool in the climate, beside us on the bench too. The food was cheap, dry, and awful and Steve spoke up first.

"This is the nastiest burger I've ever had." His nose crinkled in disgust as he looked at me. My mouth full, face bitter as I tried to consume it, when he finally said it I began to laugh, nodding. When he chuckled, shoulders shaking as he did, I couldn't stop myself. My eyes watered as I laughed, fighting not to choke on the food in my mouth or spit it out, the whole romance of the setting was ruined by the junk we'd bought to eat. There was really nothing romantic about a fast food meal, but it was worse when it sucked.

"It's horrid," I squeaked, managing to speak through the uncontrollable laughter between us.

"It tastes like crap!" he took another bite, and managed to get it down, pulling another face before laughing at my awful laugh. I sounded like a dying seal when I couldn't breathe and my eyes always looked insane. He was in stitches watching me in stitches about the food and the fact that he was in stitches about me.

Laughing even harder, grasping at my aching stomach, I hadn't been in this kind of state for years.

"Why are we still eating?" he said, consuming some of the fries that were more like cardboard with salt on top, shaking his head at how bad it was.

"Well I don't want to waste the money we spent!" I was breathless now, and taking a sip of my chocolate milkshake, I tried to regain my composure. It didn't work. I snorted, which set him off again.

At last, wheezing, we eventually finished the food and the laughter. "Well," I said, taking a shaky breath in, "The drinks aren't bad."

Steve smirked at me as he drank some of his vanilla shake. Once he put it down, he went over to the bin/trash can and threw away all the rubbish except our drinks. Sitting back beside me, arm across the back of the bench; I shuffled closer to him, embracing the warmth of his broad body.

"Very romantic, Steve." I smiled, "Moonlit dinner with two $4.00 burger meals that tasted like the bottom of a hobbits foot."

He threw his head back when he laughed again, pulling me close to him, squeezing me gently and resting his head, for a brief moment, against mine affectionately. He got the reference… he had been about nineteen when Tolkien first published The Hobbit.

Silence followed as we watched the waters swaying, the sound just audible.

"I bought your book the other day," Steve said, I turned my head to look up at him.

"Why? I've got a copy of it you can borrow."

"Now how could I not have my own copy of my Girls' book?" He tilted his head down to look at me, smiling proudly.

"I'll sign it for ya'" I was blushing, relieved that it was night so he couldn't see that I looked like a raspberry; I had to cover up how flattered I was by joking.

"Really?" he mimicked being star-struck, grinning goofily.

"No." I elbowed him playfully. He pretended that it hurt but clearly couldn't have, he was Captain America!

"You know they all read it back at the Tower." He wasn't asking me, he was stating it, smugly.

"Why? They were only mildly interested in the publishing!" I moaned, sitting up, and turning so my body was facing him, bringing my feet onto the bench, knees to my chest resting my head on them.

"You're their friend. Of course they're gonna read it, they just knew you'd be embarrassed if they told you they had." He brushed my hair behind my ear when a breeze shifted it out of place; he was waiting for a response from me.

I was embarrassed, that was for sure, propping my arm up on the back of the bench and resting my head in my hand, I groaned. But my writers' curiosity got the better of me, "What did they think?"

"Ask them yourself."

"No, do you know how that makes me look? Like I crave positive attention. Of course I want them to like it but… Just tell me!"

"Geez Kim, they all liked it but I'm not going to tell you their own personal reviews. You can ask them yourself." He finished his drink and placed the empty cup back down. I watched his face, aware I was pouting but knowing I wouldn't get an answer from him. His expression was thoughtful as he observed the view in front of him, his profile was so handsome, he was so handsome.

"Let's go for a walk." I said softly. With a gentle nod, he stood. I stood up too on the bench and hopped down, grabbing my empty shake. We threw our cups away and wandered along the riverside.

The sound of distant traffic faded as I focused on the clopping of Steve's shoes, my sneakers were almost inaudible. The sky was not completely clear but it was so beautiful just glancing up occasionally. I inhaled the sharp night air and shuddered at the chill. It was not an uncomfortable cold, like on a blustery day, but the kind of nippiness that made you feel alive.

Cap was adjusting so well to the modern world, but I loved that he held to the old days because who can respect someone who is willing to replace all their old memories and style because of what society expects them to do. He respected past and present, I loved talking to the old guy. Honestly I could feel a war time adventure in the creative works. He'd be a good research source…

"Hey Steve?" my voice was softer than usual.

"Yeah?" he responded gently too.

"Who would win in a wrestling match between Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly?"

"What?" I turned my head to see his knotted brow, "I thought you were going to tell me something important."

"It's important to have an opinion on the subject. You know who Fred and Gene are? I made you watch some movies with them in them a couple of weeks ago"

"I know, the dancing ones, but seriously? I thought we were going to have a moment."

"No, I'm genuinely curious on your opinion, I'd say Gene Kelly. He'd work up to 20 hours consecutively to get a scene right and performed the entire 'Singin' in the Rain' sequence with a fever."

"I don't know who would win, Kim."

"Fine," I peered off, slightly irritated that he couldn't answer the question, you don't actually need background information to have an answer to that, just guess. Like it would really happen!

I ran a hand through my hair and let out an audible sigh. Steve brushed his hand against my own at my side, his fingers just lightly feeling mine. Entwining them together, he stopped in his place, pulling me to a halt too.

Then he let go and went to the railing to peer over it to see. Leaning pleasantly on it, I took the chance to catch a glimpse of that heroic butt, I was so lucky.

I joined him and looked at the water, loving the blackness contrasting with the lights reflecting on the surface. It seemed supernatural. The water was splashing against the solid edge of the river, plopping and sloshing. It was wonderful.

Facing me, one hand on the railing, Steve observed me as a smiled idly. After a few seconds, I turned to him just as he, with delicate movements, placed a hand on my waist. Instead of pulling me to him, he moved to me, careful not to hurt me, still worried about my health. Slowly, my hands went to his stomach then moved up to his chest where I grabbed the front of his jacket. My fingers, tightened about the material as his other hand clutched my waist.

We kissed, his hands making little circular motions as he moved them to the base of my back, warming my body with his caring touch. Within a small amount of time my arms had wrapped around his neck, concerned to touch his skin with my hands as they were chilled to the bone. He seemed better heated than me. Then again his body worked better than any normal human body would.

Our lips moulding, our tongues brushing one another's, I nibbled a little on his plump, pink lower lip, loving the way they touched my own, the care that seemed to be within every touch and sensation. Although, the passion and intensity of the kiss heightened, it remained loving, never desperate. I was hungry for more, when we finally parted.

We'd become so confident with one another, we knew what we wanted now, relaxed with the other. Steve made me feel beautiful, and like I've said before, respected.

He brought his hands to my face; they were soft and soothing on my cold skin. Caressing my cheek with his thumb, a motion that filled me with glee, he placed a soft peck on my lips and smiled smoothly, "Kim, I love you." And I received another wanted kiss.

"I love you too," I murmured, my smile not as pretty as his. If anything, it was a little bit goofy, "Tonight has been great, the burgers not so much but, thank you."

"You're welcome," he grabbed my hand, feeling how cold it was he exclaimed, "Your hands are like ice, come on. Let's head back." I nodded in agreement. We began to head the way we came, his hands in his pockets, I hooked my arm through his and kept close to him for warmth. It was getting quite late.

After a couple of minutes of no talking, I decided to say, "Steve, how about this? You'll be able to answer this."

"What's that?" he rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same.

"Who would win in a game of hide and seek, Clint or Natasha?"

Steve chuckled loudly, "You never give up do you?" after I shook my head, he answered, "Natasha."

"Really?" and so began the debate as to who was a better hider. Was Clint too predictable, would he keep to high places? Or was Natasha too typical an answer? Did Clint have a secret speciality of these sorts of things?

We returned to the car, undecided, it was much later than we thought, losing track of the time. Making our way back to the Tower, I was happy to be going back and knowing that I was welcome to the place I saw as a beacon of hope when I first moved to the city.

After a long drive, we rounded the corner and I got the feeling I always got when I saw Stark Tower, an exhilarating and overwhelming sensation through my body and an urge to smile that I gave into. My life had really turned around.