Day 25: Incontinent

(Guest Author: JordanPhoenix)

Edgeworth was working late Thursday evening, and was so wrapped up in his paperwork that he didn't even notice the first round of loud, persistent rapping on the door. He assumed it was the tree branch outside tapping on his window – after all, who on earth besides the workaholic Prosecutor would still be at the office at 8:30 at night?

The he heard the knocking sound again, melodically and rhythmically this time to the unignorably, distinctive sound of "Shave and a Haircut."

Edgeworth sighed. There was only one person who would have a need to announce his presence to him in such a manner. "What do you want, Butz?"

Larry Butz stuck his head in the door, his customary goofy grin in place. "How did you know it was me, Edgey?" He turned around to the person standing behind him. "Hey Nick, I think Edgey here is psychic! Maybe Maya's ESPN is rubbing off on him!"

"Larry, how many times do I have to tell you, it's ESP not ESPN! And for the millionth time, Maya having spirit medium abilities isn't the same as being clairvoyant?!"

I detest talk of supernatural drivel. I suppose now he'll say she has midi-chlorians? Edgeworth smirked to himself and put down his pen. Wright was with Butz too? Oh, this was going to be a real pip.

An eager looking Larry, followed by a somewhat sheepish looking Phoenix, entered the office.

"I told you he'd still be here, Nick!" Larry grinned at the unsmiling prosecutor, who was looking at the two unannounced arrivals with his usual arms crossed, finger-tapping posture. "Nick here thought you'd have gone home and might be in bed when you didn't answer your cell phone, but I figured no way would you that much of an lame old man…I mean, it isn't even nine!"

That's because I had my phone turned on silent, after your ridiculous midnight call last night…

"What do you want, Butz?" Edgeworth asked brusquely, interrupting his friend mid-ramble.

"Larry tried to call me last night to come hang out, because he was feeling alone and mopey, and I, um, missed his call." Phoenix smiled awkwardly. "So he's persuaded me to ah, make it up to him by going out to the bar with him tonight. We were hoping you'd want to join us?"

"No." Edgeworth replied curtly, turning back to his paperwork in dismissal of the matter.

"Edgey!" Larry's lip trembled. "Why don't you ever want to hang out with meee…?"

Because you're a weepy emo head case even when you're sober! Then you morph into human water fountain whenever you've had a few beers in you and the last time, you left such a huge tearstained mess of my suit jacket I needed to get it dry-cleaned!

"Come on Edgeworth, have a heart," Phoenix coaxed. "He told me it's the anniversary of the death of Cindy Stone and he's been feeling extra lonely. Have a heart!" He looked beseechingly at the prosecutor, the look in his eyes as clear as day. Please don't leave me alone with him!

"Nobody loves me!" Larry wailed. As if on cue, tears flooded his eyes. "I'm so unlucky! First with the ladies, then the law, and now my bestie rejects me again two nights in a row…"

Edgeworth refused to be moved. "Butz, you idiot! Did it ever occur to you that perchance you wouldn't have suffered that murder rap for that strumpet if you weren't always so pathetically, predictably incontinent whenever you're around women?"

"Now that's just mean!" Larry's weeping immediately ceased as he affected his most wounded expression. "I stopped needing to wear diapers when I was five, I'll have you know!"

"Well, actually, Larry, there was that one bed-wetting incident that time you and Edgeworth slept over in fourth grade…" Phoenix reminded him. "Still Edgeworth, I don't think Larry's ability to hold his bladder is the reason for his lack of luck with the ladies…"

Obviously, common sense does not register, even as a blip, on either one of their radars! Edgeworth closed his eyes and sighed. Why must I always be surrounded by fools?

Then, without another word, he reached into his drawer, pulled out his pocket Webster's Dictionary, slammed it on top of his desk, and walked out of his office, leaving his two dumbfounded friends staring after him.

Incontinent

in·con·ti·nent [in-kon-tn-uh nt] adj. restrain natural discharges or evacuations of urine or feces. 2. unable to contain or retain (usually followed by of):incontinent of temper. 3. lacking in moderation or self-control, especially of sexual desire. 4. unceasing or unrestrained: an incontinent flow of talk.

A/N (JP): I've never done a shorty before, I'm a bit wordy you know! Let me know if I can do any more of these they're a blast!

A/N (6GS): Thanks for reading this awesome contribution by the very talented JordanPhoenix! If you haven't read her LAWFUL LUST TRILOGY, you're seriously missing out!

Challenge: Turn this word into a song!

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