The Rickshank Rickdemption
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
"Ugh. Mason the alarm." Myra groaned
A pale hand reached out from under the covers and slammed down on the alarm cock smashing it to pieces.
Myra let out a sigh of content sinking deeper into the bed. "That's better."
"Why do we have an alarm if we just destroy it every morning?" Mason asked
"Meh, I like to start my morning with a little violence," Myra said
Mason smirked. "I love that about you."
His arms moved under the covers pulling Myra close to him. The two were cuddled close until the sound of someone fussing interrupted.
"Baby's up." Myra threw off the covers and slid out of the bed. She walked to the other side of the room and plucked her baby out of the crib. "Is someone hungry?"
Myra walked over to a rocking chair and sat down before she started breastfeeding.
"I'm hungry too." Myra looked up to see Mason smirking in bed.
"Yeah then get your lazy ass up and head to the great dining hall for food. It's too early in the morning for you to make sex jokes." Myra said
"Fine fine," Mason got out of bed getting dressed. "I'll see you two later."
Myra finished feeding the baby and put him on her shoulder. She gave her baby several hard pats on the back, and he let out a fiery burp.
"Good boy."
Myra then laid Mason Jr., or MJ for short, down on the change table putting him in a metal lined diaper, since his species has lava type poop. She then dressed him a maroon onesie. She handed her baby a rattle that a jeweled skull on top, which he happily shook.
With MJ thoroughly distracted Myra got herself dressed. Since she was now the Queen-in-training Myra was required to be dressed a certain way. She was at first pissed thinking she'd have to start wearing dresses, but she was pleasantly surprised at the outfit she got to wear. Myra opened the closet pulling out light armor. She had on knee-high silver boots, black pants, a dark blue tunic style shirt, a tough leather silver chest breastplate, and a pair of silver gloves. She clipped on a silver locket, that had her ring Mason had given to her on it. Then she took a dark white scarf and wrapped it around her neck covering the locket.
Myra grabbed a bronze colored baby carrier strapping it on then put MJ in it.
"Now it's time for the day to begin."
Myra now somewhat lives in Mason's castle. Since the Galactic Federation took over Earth, she's been avoiding going home due to all of her inventions being illegal technology. She holophones her family every so often to check in on them. The only one in her family who seemed to be adjusting to the new lifestyle on Earth was Jerry. He had a job and his employers gave him a medal nearly every day. Myra was too exhausted to tell him that they were just meaningless trinkets used as incentives for their employees to work harder without actually having to give the employee more money. Her mother was doing what she did best in stressful situations, drown her troubles in wine. A habit Myra was sure that her mother got from Rick. Most of her calls with her mother ended up with her mother crying. Still upset over Rick leaving also, the fact that she lost her job. It seems like the Galactic Federation had pills that kept horses alive forever, meaning Beth's job as a horse surgeon was obsolete. Morty seemed to be doing okay, just trying to stay out of trouble. Although he expressed to Myra how he disliked how they were fed with pills. Myra was glad to send to her brother some real food from the castle. Summer was pissed, like really pissed. She constantly complained about the Galactic Federation and all their new rules and regulations especially since their new calendar made Summer over 40. Myra would have to check in with her later and make sure her sister didn't do anything crazy.
MJ kept Myra busy along with his father. Myra also had various responsibilities in the castle since once she and Mason get married she would be the new queen. She was really starting to warm up to the idea of marriage and becoming royal, especially in a kingdom where violence was encouraged.
"Morty if you don't wanna help Grandpa then I know one sibling who will." Summer said
"Myra's just gonna say the same thing as me," Morty said
"Says you. Watch," Summer pulled out her computer.
*BEEP BEEP*
"What's that?" Mason asked
Myra lifted up her watch. "I'm getting an incoming call from my family." She swiped her watch and up came a holographic video feed of her siblings.
"Morty. Summer. Hey." Myra greeted
"Hey, siblings-in-law!" Mason grinned waving at Morty and Summer.
The two waved back with less enthusiasm.
"Stop it." Myra shoved Mason out of the view of her siblings. "You're weirding them out. We're not even married yet."
"Myra how about you and I do a little sister-sister tag team rescue to get Grandpa Rick out of Space Jail." Summer smiled and looked at Morty giving him a smug look.
"Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh, I'm not doing that," Myra said sitting back into a chair.
"What?!" Summer shouted her smile immediately dropping.
"Told ya," Morty said crossing his arms.
"Myra how can you just leave grandpa Rick in some space prison!?" Summer said
"Because it's Rick. It was his choice to get captured and I'm sure it'll be his choice when he wants to get out." Myra simply replied
"Myra why don't you want to help grandpa Rick!" Summer shouted
"Summer just leave it alone," Myra said.
"Why?" Summer questioned
Myra rubbed her brows. "This was what Rick does. This is what Rick has always done. This all Rick will ever do. Summer, I get that you're worried I really do. But if it was Rick's choice to get captured so why not let him stay captured. I mean the man built an interdimensional portal gun and a space cruiser out of shit found in our garage. I'm sure he's got some convoluted plan in that crazy ass head of his. If you go trying to save him you're gonna end up in a life or death situation."
"Aren't you worried about him?" Summer asked
"No, not really," Myra answered
"Myra!" Summer exclaimed
"Look, Summer, I've got an infant that breathes fire, poops lava, and who is teething with little baby shark teeth. I've got a lot on my plate to be worrying about Rick. I mean he doesn't even really worry about himself. I'm sure he's fine, I mean it's not like their torturing him…..I think." Myra said
"But-"
Summer was cut off by the sound of crying followed by a servant screaming "Fire!".
"MJ's up. Summer please just don't do anything stupid. I'll try and visit home soon. Myra out."
"Wait, Myra-!"
Myra tapped her watch cutting the video feed off.
Mason stared at Myra, seeing her brows furrow. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. My family is just really stressful. I'm gonna have to sneak home sometime and make sure Summer doesn't do anything rash. Morty can only keep her under control for so long. Don't you have a meeting to get to?" Myra said
"Yeah but-?"
"No buts, get going." Myra walked out the room heading towards the sound of crying and screaming.
Myra was sitting at a table tinkering with some inventions. The Queen had given Myra her own workshop to start building weapons and other things. Mason had commented that the layout of the room was similar to the garage Rick worked in. That remark earned him a wrench upside the head.
MJ was off to the side in a playpen keeping himself occupied by grabbing his own feet.
"Let's see," Myra held up a tube with blue liquid. She plugged it into a blaster and it turned on. She faced a target and flipped a switch on the blaster. A whirring noise was heard as she charged the weapon.
She lifted the weapon onto her shoulder putting her eye over the eyepiece aiming.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
"Oh for fuck sakes," Myra sighed out dropping her weapon.
She looked at her wrist and tapped a few buttons on her watch. A holoscreen is pulled up showing two blinking lights, one yellow and one pink. Wavelengths were vibrating rapidly underneath the dots.
Myra let out another sigh turning the screen off. She walks over to the playpen and picks MJ up. "Come on sweetie Mommy's gotta go kill some people and rescue your Aunt and Uncle."
MJ let out a giggle kicking his feet.
"Myra!" Mason called out entering the workshop. "I'm back! You in here!? Myra!" He walked over to Myra's work table where a sticky note was tapped to it. He picked it up reading over the short note. He smirked shaking his head.
"Too bad I'm gonna miss that."
He walked back out of the lab dropping the note.
The yellow sticky note floated to the ground.
"Gone out to kick some ass. Be back for Dinner - Myra."
Rick, Morty, and Summer were running through the Citadel/Federation Prison. They turned a corner running into another room.
"Hands up!"
They froze as several Gromflamite's stood before them guns raised.
"Rick you are under arrest for several-!"
A portal opened up and a hand appeared shooting the Gromflamite who was talking. Before the other Gromflamite's could react a figure dressed in black tech armor stepped out holding a large blaster. There was a loud click and the blaster fired off several rounds taking out all the Gromflamite's.
Morty and Summer looked scared as they hid behind Rick. The figure tapped the side of their helmet and it deconstructed revealing familiar long brown hair.
"Myra!"
Turning around the figure was revealed to indeed be the one and only Myra, and strapped to her chest was baby MJ.
Morty and Summer ran over giving their sister a hug.
Myra rolls her eyes. "I told you not to do anything crazy Summer."
"Do you think that it's safe to have MJ here?" Summer asked
"Oh yeah, this kind of stuff is what his species is used to. I also can't leave him alone. He's in this strange bonding period where if I leave his sight he goes crazy." Myra explained
"H-How'd you know we were here?" Morty asked
"I've got you and Summer tagged with emergency trackers that go off whenever you two are in mortal danger," Myra said
"What! That is an invasion of my privacy!" Summer exclaimed
"Oh, you wanna complain about it. That invasion of privacy just saved your life." Myra fired back.
"Look you two can have this bullshit argument later! Right now we gotta go!" Rick shouted
As the group ran Myra looked at Rick. "Well well, I knew you'd find a way out of the most maximum security prison in the known universe. But crashing the Federation Prison in the Citadel of Rick's. Damn Rick, you sure know how to make an entrance and hold a grudge."
"That's what I do," Rick smirked
"So why did you crash-land this place in the galactic federation prison?" Myra asked
The group came upon a giant computer and Rick started typing on it.
"To gain level nine access," Rick answered
"What are you doing with level-nine access?" Morty asked
"What I'm going to do with it, is destroy the *burp* galactic government," Rick said
"Awesome!"
"Whoa, cool!"
"Sounds fun!"
"Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other?" Summer asked
"Or cause all their research facilities to release all their deadly and dangerous experiments?" Myra asked
"Ooh, or-or reprogram their military portals to disintegrate their entire space fleet?" Morty asked
"Good pitches, kids. I'm almost proud. But watch closely as Grandpa topples an empire by changing a one to a zero." Rick presses a button on the computer.
In an office of Gromflamite's everything seemed to be running smoothly until someone ran in looking rather panicked.
"Mr. President, the Blemflarck's value just dropped to nothing." A Gromflamite said
"What do you mean?" The Galactic Federation President exclaimed
"I mean, our single centralized galactic currency just went from being worth one of itself to zero of itself." The Gromflamite said
Everyone in the room started whispering in worried hushes.
"Calm down, people. Deploy the galactic militia and declare martial law." Gromflamite President said
"Yes, sir. Uh, what should I pay them with?" Federation Commander said
"Their payment is the honor they'll feel to serve their-wait. Who's paying me to yell at this guy?" A Gromflamite said
"I can answer that, for money."
"I never thought I'd live to see this day."
Everyone started panicking again.
The Gromflamite President spoke up, "Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen! There's a solution here you're not seeing." He lifts up a gun and shoots himself in the head.
That's when all hell breaks loose.
"Give me your jacket!"
"Give me those pants!"
Everyone in the room started fighting, going wild.
"There's no rich people or poor people! I want more jackets!"
"He who controls the pants controls the galaxy!"
In an office, Jerry Smith was crawling on the floor scared as the office was being drowned in mass chaos. Jerry whimpered as he tried to avoid getting hurt. He made it out of the office building where the chaos continued on the streets. Spaceships were taking off escaping earth.
As Jerry crawled down the street a manhole cover lifted up and Mr. Goldenfold popped out.
"No longer will the insects have domain over the surface world!"
Dozens of people came out of the sewer and started fighting too.
Jerry made his way home, for some reason still crawling until he made it safely inside.
"Jerry, what the hell is happening?!" Beth cried
"The galactic government collapsed," Jerry said
"Are you okay?" Beth asked
"Look, I-I'm not proud to share this, but the truth is, I just kept crawling, and it kept working. Oh, I'm glad you're okay. Are we ever going to stop paying for indulging your father? Our children, our planet, our jobs? Is there anything left to lose?" Jerry said
"Just each other, and I'll never let you go. And I'm so sorry I ever did this to us." Beth hugged Jerry.
A portal opened and out came Rick, Summer, Myra, and Morty.
"Guess who dismantled the government?" Rick smiled
Beth quickly lets go of Jerry and ran over to her father hugging him. "Please don't leave me again."
"I never will, baby," Rick said
"I was right. He turned himself in on purpose. It was all part of his plan!" Summer said
"Jerry, is there any light beer left? It's insane what you miss in prison." Rick said
Jerry had a confused look on his face staring at his family, "Um..okay. No. No, no, no. Foot down time."
"No, you're right. Where's the vodka?" Rick asked
"Beth, it's him or me!" Jerry shouted pointing between Rick and himself.
The room goes silent as everyone stares at Jerry.
"Seems like you guys need some privacy. I'll, uh-'ll be in the garage." Rick said
Rick leaves going to the garage while Morty, Summer, and Myra head upstairs.
"Summer that's enough," Myra whined
"Just one more." Summer smiled
"Fineeeeeee," Myra said
Summer held up her phone and took a picture of Myra and MJ.
"He looks a lot like Mason," Summer commented
"Yeah, his skin is just bit paler due to my genes," Myra said
"He doesn't have horns though." Summer was about to pat MJ's head but Myra stopped him.
"No they're there they just haven't grown in enough for you to see them through his hair. Things like his horns and tails don't grow in till later. Right now he's growing in his sharp ass teeth. I'd advise not putting your fingers near his face anytime soon." Myra explained
"Noted." Summer said, "So now that the Galactic Federation is gone are you gonna come home?"
"Good question. I'll probably set up some type of transportation hub doorway in my room here, so I can easily travel back and forth." Myra said
"What the fuck! Not cool, Jerry! A man's garage is his castle." Rick shouted walking into the garage.
He rearranged some dead flies on the table activating a secret code. His real workbench rises out of the garage floor going back to its normal place.
Beth walked into the garage. "Jerry's going to spend some time divorced."
"Oh, I-I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. I hope I had nothing to do with that." Rick spoke with a sympathetic tone.
"Oh, God, Dad, that is not your burden to bear. I feel terrible that I misjudged you. This is gonna be good for Jerry." Beth said
"For everybody," Rick said
"For everybody," Beth said.
Summer, Myra, and Morty walked into the garage.
"I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you to your adventures." Beth said before leaving.
A ping goes off and Summer pulls out her phone. "Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism." She ran out the room leaving Rick, Myra, and Morty.
"Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my-" Morty tried to leave, but he's grabbed by Rick.
"Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty and now that this one," Rick points at Myra, "has extra baggage-"
"Hey!"
"-it's just you and me a-and sometimes your sisters and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me." Rick ranted
"Okay, take it easy, Rick. T-T-That's dark." Morty looked scared trying to back up from Rick.
Rick grabbed Morty's shoulders. "Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different no more Dad, Morty."
"Oh, geez." Morty groaned
"He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away," Rick said
Myra who wasn't really phased said, "Called it! Not the government thing but I knew he was going to find a way to get rid of dad."
"Oh fuck!" Morty cursed
"I've rep*burp*laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. Oh! I just took over the family, Morty, and if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I'll deny it. That goes for you too Myra!" Rick yelled
"Yeah if I learned anything today it's not to cross Rick," Myra said
"That's right!" Rick shouted
Rick got really close to Morty, causing him to back up. Morty ended up tripping over something falling to the ground as Rick hovered over him.
"You're gonna deny it?" Morty asked
"They'll take my side because I'm a hero, Morty. And now you're gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty, forever! And I'll-I'll go out and I'll find some more of that 'Mulan' Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty." Rick ranted starting to drool heavily from the mouth.
Morty looked confused at the last statement and so did Myra.
"What are you talking about?" The twins asked
"Because that's-that's what this is all about, you two," Rick said
"Szechuan?" Morty questioned
"That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was fake. I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce."
"McNuggets?" Morty tried to crawl away from Rick, but Rick grabbed his ankle pulling him back.
"I want that 'Mulan' McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty." Rick said
"What the hell?" Morty said
"I think he fucking lost it in that prison," Myra whispered
MJ seemed to be enjoying Rick's crazy rant clapping his hands as he giggled.
"See the baby gets it! If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce." Rick exclaimed
"What are you talking about, Rick?" Morty asked
"That's what's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty," Rick said
"What are you talking about?!" Morty said more confused than ever.
"Season-nine more seasons, Morty. Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce." Rick said
"What is that?!"
"For 97 more years, Morty! I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!"
Myra sighed reaching into her armor and pulled out a red flask drinking from it.