A/N: Thank you for all the favorites and reviews! It still amazes me that anyone likes what I write. I hope you continue to hang in there with this story. Happy reading!

Chapter 25: Right Isn't Always Easy

Several weeks had passed since Olivia had been placed on desk duty. Although it was a difficult adjustment at first, she had actually grown used to it. Now that she wasn't exhausted all the time, she could actually enjoy being pregnant.

Without the constant interruptions, Olivia and Alex had finally gotten around to having that serious talk they had been putting off. As it turned out, the talk wasn't as painful as Olivia had thought it would be. Now that everything was out in the open, it actually made her feel more secure than ever. Although Olivia had tried to hide it, she had been plagued with uncertainty about Alex's commitment to building a family together. After talking things through, she now had no doubts about Alex having a change of heart. The blonde was jumping in with both feet and Olivia felt extremely blessed to have her. If the baby's father showed the same amount of commitment, her life might actually be perfect.

Olivia sat out on the terrace and sipped her tea as she enjoyed the pleasant weather. She loved to watch the changing seasons. The leaves were a blanket of beautiful autumn colors. It dawned on her that she was usually too busy to ever to notice these things, but today had been a good day for Olivia. It was her day off. She'd had another checkup earlier that morning, but this checkup was special. She had found out the baby's sex today. Unfortunately, Alex was giving her closing arguments for the murder trial she had been slaving over the last few weeks. Olivia had offered to put the appointment off until later so Alex could attend, but the attorney wouldn't hear of it. She didn't want Olivia to miss an appointment for any reason.

Olivia could tell Alex felt torn. The blonde had never had to choose between work and her personal life before. Alex had hoped they would find out together, but that wasn't going to happen, so they settled on a compromise. Not wanting Olivia to be alone, Alex made Olivia take Maggie with her for support. Compromise or not, it still took a lot of persuasion and coaxing just to get the attorney out the door. Olivia shook her head and smiled as she thought about her love. Alex might not know it yet, but she was going to make a wonderful parent.

The sound of the phone brought her out of her musings. She could tell that it was the doorman from downstairs.

"Hi James."

"Good afternoon, Ms. Benson."

Olivia rolled her eyes. She still hadn't been able to convince the man to call her by her first name.

"You have a visitor. There is a Mr. Brian Cassidy here to see you. Should I send him up?"

Olivia paused. She hadn't spoken with Brian in a couple of months at least. She had been leaving messages for him, but he'd never return her calls. Last she had heard, he was working undercover again.

"Umm… sure. You can send him up now."

Olivia took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. She didn't want to jump to conclusions about why Brian was there to see her after all this time. She heard a soft knock at the door. She opened the door to find a haggard and tired looking Brian Cassidy staring back at her. She stepped aside allowing him to enter.

"Brian, this is a surprise."

He looked at her. "This sort of feels like déjà vu doesn't it?"

She smirked. "At least this time you know why you're here."

"True."

There was an awkward silence between them until Olivia decided to break it. "I've been calling you for weeks, Brian."

He paused and looked at her stomach. She followed his gaze and placed her hand protectively on her growing belly.

"You're… You're really pregnant now."

She gave him an odd look. "Yes, I am. You would know that if… Oh, I don't know…picked up the phone or dropped by to check in."

"Yeah about that…" He said scratching the back of his neck.

She walked over and took a seat on the sofa. Her feet had started swelling lately and her back had started giving her fits. She gestured for him to take a seat.

"I told you that I wasn't asking you to do anything, Brian. I told you that I could do this on my own if that was the case, but I would have liked, at the very least, a little courtesy. If you don't plan to be around for this, just say it." Olivia said feeling annoyed by his recent behavior.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. I was working on this case with….

"With the Feds." She nodded. "I've heard this already."

"I know it's not much, but it's the truth. I haven't been ignoring you, Liv. I really was working." He pleaded.

"Fine. I get it. You've been busy." Olivia nodded. "So, why are you here today? Is this your way of saying you want in or…"

"Olivia, I'm just curious. How did you see this thing working out with all of us?"

Olivia didn't know where he was going with this. "I had hoped that we could all be adults about this and raise this child together."

"And by we… you mean you, me, and Cabot?" It wasn't really a question.

Olivia instantly bristled at the mention of Alex. "Yes. I already told you that Alex and I are together and we're staying together. Besides, we never once tried to cut you out, Brian. You're the one who hasn't been here."

"I know that… believe me." He said with a hint of sadness. "Listen, I just had to ask before I talked to you about this."

"Talked to me? Brian, stop talking in circles and tell me what the hell you're talking about."

"There have been some changes in my life lately that I feel you should be made aware of. I've been taking my time trying to figure things out before I spoke to you. I needed to be sure."

"Be sure about what?"

"The Feds offered me a permanent position. They want me to become a full-time agent with the bureau… in the undercover division." He said slowly.

Olivia sat in silence for a moment then nodded slowly knowing exactly what that meant. She had completed a stint with the FBI a while back. She was gone for nearly a year and that had just been a temporary position involving one case. Who knew how long Brian would be gone if he was working full-time with them.

"So, you'd be working undercover with the FBI… officially." Olivia stated to be sure.

Brian nodded.

Olivia stared at him. She narrowed her eyes. "You've already accepted it…haven't you?"

He didn't answer right away and she had her answer.

"You're unbelievable… you know that?" Olivia shook her head and moved to stand.

Brian reached out and held her in place. "I've had one dream my whole life, Liv. I wanted to work for the bureau. I finally have a shot at it."

"So, you're taking the job?"

He nodded.

"Well congratulations, Brian. I don't know what else you expect me to say."

"There are some things we need to settle… about the baby."

"Brian..."

"Just hear me out, Liv. I've done a lot of soul-searching these past few months. There are some people who are cut out to be good parents. They have this incredible ability… that something inside that allows them to love unconditionally and raise a good kid. They give up everything for their kid. I don't think I have that, Liv."

"No one knows how to be a parent until they are, Brian."

"Maybe, but let's be honest. I'm the cool uncle. I'm not the reliable dad."

Olivia blinked. "So that's it? That's all you have to say? You're not the reliable dad."

"I'm just trying to be honest with you."

"This is you being honest?"

"Yeah. Look, I could have come here and fed you a load of lies. I could tell you that I will try to be there for the birthdays and holidays, but you know how undercover work is. I could be gone six months or six years. You never know."

"I can't believe this is happening." Olivia shook her head.

"You're going to make a wonderful mother, Liv. We both know that. I couldn't ask for a better mother for my kid."

After a long silence, he handed her a large brown envelope. "I have a few things here that I think you'll need."

He started taking out an assortment of forms and official papers. "I meant what I said about not being a dead beat. I've set up an account. It has a sizeable amount in there now and money will be added every six months. There should be more than enough to help you support the baby."

"I don't need your money, Brian."

"It's not about you needing the money. This is about me taking care of my responsibilities." He said not giving her a chance to respond. "Whenever I'm out in the field and can't be reached, the payments will continue. I have a contact person for you should you need to get word to me about anything. The information is all there. These are all of my medical records as well as my family history. Everything you'd need to know about me is in there too."

By this time, Olivia had started to cry. The impact of what Brian was doing had finally hit her. Her child's father was not going to be there for the day to day things. He was not going to be in her child's life like a regular father. Olivia knew better than anyone how that absence could affect a child. She had wanted better for her own child.

"There is one more thing. We need to talk about Cabot."

Olivia shook her head suddenly growing angry. "You come here and tell me that you're going to be gone for God knows how long and you think you get to dictate to me about Alex's role in this child's life!"

"No. No. That's not what I meant, Liv." He quickly grabbed her hand and made her look at him. "Look, I know how you feel about Cabot and I think I have a good idea how she feels about you."

He waited to be sure he had her full attention. "It would take a lot out of me as a man to stand by the woman I loved while she had another man's child. Now, I know the circumstances are a little different, but I know it still couldn't have been easy for Cabot, but she's stood by you. She's been here and I have to accept that she will be in my kid's life too."

He handed her several notarized legal papers. Her hands shook as she read them silently.

"You say you and Cabot are the real deal. That may turn out to be true or maybe it won't. But I trust you to make sure that whoever is in your life will be good to my kid too. I want my kid to have a good life. So…" He sniffed and discretely wiped his eyes. "So… there it is."

"Brian, I really don't know what to say." Olivia was floored.

"If you were a lesser woman, I wouldn't trust you with this but I know you, Liv. You will always put our kid first. It's just who you are. Just promise me that you'll make sure that he or she…"

"It's a boy." She whispered.

Brian looked shocked. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. There was a part of her that hoped the news would change his mind.

"I found out today that it's a boy."

"A boy, huh?" His voice cracked a little.

"Yeah."

"That's pretty awesome." He collected himself and continued. "Just promise me that you'll make sure that my son knows who I am and that you'll let me see him. I don't plan to just walk away, Liv. When I'm here and when I can, I want to be in his life. I'm not going to be in the Bureau forever. I want to be his father. I need you to…" He paused and looked her in the eyes. "Just promise me you won't keep him from me. You have to promise me that."

Olivia gave him a watery smile and nodded. "I promise. You have my word, Brian."

"Good then. That's all I ask." He laughed a little. "Well, maybe one more thing?"

"Anything."

"Maybe you could send me pictures too. You know so I can…"

"Absolutely. I'll get them to your contact. You'll know all about him and he'll know all about you. I want you in his life as much as possible."

He nodded and stared at the floor for a moment. "I hope you know that this isn't easy for me. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but he deserves a real family. I'm trying to do what's best for him."

"I know that, Brian. I do."

Unable to stop himself, he pulled her into a tight embrace. They held each other for a long time before Brian pulled away. He kissed her forehead and quickly left. Olivia sat alone trying to make peace with what had just happened.

Your Honor?" Alex tapped on the large wooden door and meekly peaked around the corner. She wasn't at all excited about this visit. She was just about to leave the courthouse after hearing the jury return a guilty verdict. She wanted nothing more than to go home and find out how Olivia's doctor's appointment had gone. That was all before she was summoned to chambers by none other than the presiding judge herself.

"Come on in, Alexandra."

The Honorable Judge Elizabeth Donnelly was in the process of removing her dark robe and hanging it up. She then took a seat behind her desk. "You're late." She snapped.

Alex had to force herself not to roll her eyes as she closed the door.

"How could I possibly be late for a meeting I wasn't even aware that we had?" She said evenly.

Liz narrowed her eyes at the younger blonde and pointed to one of the empty chairs in front of her desk. "Sit."

Alex bit back the sarcastic remark that was on the tip of her tongue. It wouldn't bode well for her to piss off a judge before the weekend. She didn't want to spend the weekend in jail and this judge was just evil enough to make it happen.

"What can I do for you, Your Honor?"

Liz's eyes flashed. "Cut the Your Honor crap, Alex. We're not in court. Excellent closing by the way."

Alex smirked and relaxed a little. "Thank you. Now, what can I do for you, Liz?" She restated.

Liz couldn't help it. She did love an arrogant Alexandra Cabot. It was like looking at a younger version of herself.

"You can start explaining why my god-daughter is apparently having a child with a certain sex crimes detective and did not bother to inform me. Care to explain dear?"

Alex swallowed hard and slumped in the chair. "Oops?"

"Oops, my ass! Who are you, Brittany 'Fucking' Spears?"

Alex couldn't help it. She laughed. Liz could be funny as hell when she wanted to be. She quickly smothered her grin as soon as she saw the look on her godmother's face. 'Oh shit.'

"I'm sorry Aunt Liz." Alex thought maybe the woman would cut her some slack if she threw in her beloved title. She rarely called her godmother Aunt Liz anymore.

"Don't Aunt Liz me. You haven't seen sorry yet."

Alex sulked like a sad child. "How'd you find out?"

"Was it some kind of secret? Because if it was, it was a terrible one."

"No. You've been off campaigning for months and I was going to wait to tell you myself when you returned."

"I've been back in New York for two weeks, Alexandra."

"I've been busy." Alex said sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

Liz rolled her eyes. "I had dinner with your Aunt Julia last night. You can imagine my surprise when she started going on about planning a baby shower for you… my darling god-daughter. I nearly choked thinking I'd missed the signs of your pregnancy." Liz said sarcastically.

This time Alex did roll her eyes. "Alright Liz, I get it. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. I really didn't mean for you to find out that way."

Liz leaned back in her chair and raised a brow. "Well?" She waved her hand. "Explain. The last time I checked you couldn't get Olivia pregnant all by yourself. You're good at many things, Alexandra but there are some things that cannot be done by shear will alone."

"You already knew that Olivia and I had started seeing one another."

"Yes. I am quite aware of that. I had to sit through that Sunday brunch with you two making eyes at each other like teenagers. How did you two go from dating to having a baby and living with each other?"

Alex bit her lip and shrugged. "It just happened that way."

"Alex, I'm losing patience with you, dear."

"Olivia had been involved with Brian Cassidy several weeks before I came back from Africa. It was a short relationship, but it resulted in Olivia getting pregnant."

"You mean it was a fling." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes. We found out while she was being treated for injuries at the hospital."

"We?"

"Olivia wasn't aware. I was with her when she was informed."

"I'm sure that was a fun afternoon." Liz pursed her lips and stared at her god-daughter. "And you're happy about this?"
"Come on, Liz! What do you expect me to say? Am I happy that Olivia is having a child because of someone else? No! But…"

"But what?"

Alex stood and started to pace. She finally stopped and rested the palms of her hands on the desk. She starred the judge in the eyes.

"That child is a part of Olivia and I will love him or her just as much as I would my own. Hell, I already do! Anyone who doesn't like that can just go to hell!"

Liz Donnelly looked at her spitfire of a god-daughter and grinned. She had grown into every bit of the woman her best friend Alexander and his wife Helena would have wanted her to be. Alex was finally passionate about something other than the law and politics. She was ready to be a mother.

"Why are you smiling at me?" Alex asked feeling annoyed.

"I smiling because you've finally grown up and apparently you're about to become a mother."

"What?"

"You just stood in front of me and said to hell with anyone who couldn't accept that you love Olivia and that child. If that isn't a mother, I don't know what one is."

"Well, I do love her… them."

"Okay then."
Alex raised a brow. "That's it? Okay?"

"Yes. I just needed to make sure you were willing and ready to defend what you have."

Alex gave her a steel gaze. "You think I'll have to?"

Liz tilted her head. "If your career continues on the path it's on and you venture into an elected position, you must know that people will have opinions about this little 'unconventional' family your building."

"I'm not sure that's in my future, Liz. You know this." Alex said tiredly. She'd had this conversation with her godmother numerous times. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to ever go into politics. Her life had changed so much since those early years.

"Maybe. Maybe not. You just need to be ready should the time come."

"Olivia and that baby are the only things that matter to me now." Alex said with meaning.

Liz nodded. "Well alright. Tell Olivia that I expect her to be at brunch this Sunday so that I can hear all about what I've missed."

Alex stood and smiled. "You just want to give her the third degree…again."

"That too." Liz came around the desk and gave Alex a hug. "If you weren't my favorite god-daughter, I'd kick your little ass for getting yourself into this mess."

Alex laughed. "I'm your only god-daughter, Liz."

Liz laughed and pushed her towards the door. "Get the hell out of my office, you little shit."

"Just like old times. Glad to have you back, Aunty Liz. I missed you."

Liz shook her head and laughed. "I love that kid."

"Honey, I'm home!" Alex said walking through the door. She laughed when she saw Olivia walking towards her. "I always wanted to say that."

Olivia walked right into her arms and kissed her. Alex instantly knew something was wrong. She held her close and felt Olivia shaking. She could also see a hint of redness around the detective's eyes.

"What's the matter?"

Olivia shook her head. "Not right now. I'm fine. Can we just… sit and talk for a minute?"

"Of course." Alex said watching her with concern. She wanted to know what was going on with the other woman, but had learned not to push. Olivia would talk to her when she was ready.

"I got your text. Congratulations on the verdict. I told you not to worry." Olivia said trying to sound cheerful.

"Thank you. I'm just glad it's over." She sat down on the sofa with a tired groan.

Olivia sat down and pulled Alex's feet into her lap. She slipped the dark blue Jimmy Choo heels off and placed them on the floor. She started to gently rub the slender feet.

Alex moaned and tried to sit up. "You don't have to do that. I should be rubbing your feet. Are they still swollen?"

Olivia pushed Alex back on the sofa and continued her foot massage. "I am fine. I've been lying on the sofa watching bad television all day. Let me take care of you for a change."

Alex didn't like it, but she relented and lay back and closed her eyes.

"I have something to tell you." Olivia finally said after several minutes of silence.

"You can tell me anything. You know that."

"I know. I just don't want you to freak out."

Alex's eyes shot open. "Are you okay? Is it the baby?"

Olivia placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down. "You know I would have called you if something was wrong. I'm perfectly fine. It's about Brian."

"Okay. What about him?"

"Brian showed up here today."

"Cassidy was here?" Olivia nodded and Alex's heart started beating faster. She tried to hide her nervousness. "Well what did he say? Is he going to be around for you more?"

"Actually, he's taking a position with the FBI. He'll be working undercover."

Alex paused and allowed the information to sink in. "But that means…"

Olivia swallowed hard and nodded. With a soft and even voice, Olivia explained what Brian had said and given her. Alex sat up and pulled Olivia into her arms. She just wanted Olivia to know that she wasn't alone.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you wanted. Is there anything I can do?"

"You can keep holding me."

"I can do that."

Alex held her tightly as Olivia quietly admitted that she was saddened that her child wouldn't have a father in the normal sense of the word. Olivia knew all too well what it felt like to grow up without a father. She feared that there would always be a void she could never fill. Alex listened and allowed Olivia to express her fears and concerns. It frustrated Alex to no end because there really was no one's ass to kick or strings to pull. The only thing she could do was make sure Olivia knew that she still had her.

"It will be okay, Liv. I promise."

"I know." Olivia gave her a watery smile suddenly feeling better.

After a long silence, Alex suddenly remembered. "Hey, how did your appointment go? I was thinking about it all day."

"Dr. Powell said that everything looks great. Sprout is growing right on schedule."

"And you found out the sex today?" Alex asked anxiously.

Olivia laughed at the blonde's obvious excitement. "Yep. It was just me and Dr. Powell. Maggie stepped out of the room. She said that you should find out the sex of the baby before she should."

Alex smiled. She adored that old woman. "That's why she kept saying she didn't know when I asked. I thought she was just keeping it a secret for you."

"Nope. I had Dr. Powell make a CD so we can watch it together when you're ready."

Alex's face lit up like Christmas tree. "Really? Let's watch it now. I've been going crazy all day."

Olivia's spirit lifted watching Alex's excitement. She realized that although Brian wouldn't be there, this child would still have Alex. There would be another person, a parent, in her child's life that would love and adore them. That was enough to make her smile.

She went over to the entertainment center and loaded the CD. Once everything was set, Olivia sat down next to Alex and pressed play.

Olivia watched the look of concentration on Alex's face transform as she watched the image on the flat screen. It was like watching the exact moment a person fell in love for the first time. The blonde's smile widened when she heard the familiar sound of the rapid heartbeat. Olivia saw her giggle as she saw the baby moving around. She turned and made sure all of her attention was on Alex's face when the moment happened. She didn't want to miss it.

A second or two passed, and then Olivia saw it. She saw Alex swallow then she seemed to melt from the inside out. When Olivia explained to Dr. Powell why Alex had to miss the appointment and that they were going to watch this together, the doctor was kind enough to have a technician add a small special effect to the image.

Alex's breath caught when she saw the words appear on the screen. It simply said… "It's a boy."

Olivia squeezed the hand in her own. "Yes. We're having a baby boy."

In that moment, Alex didn't think life could get any better. "Yes, we are."

TBC...

Comming Soon: Happy Birthday!