Sebastian thought perhaps he was dreaming. That seemed more likely than the reality of his present situation. He had followed Madame Herondale out of the sitting room and down another hallway to the right of the one he had previously traversed to arrive at a closed door. There were muffled sounds coming through the door. Unmistakable sounds that had Sebastian turning to the old lady with a mixture of disbelief and horror that he had accompanied Jace's grandmother only to listen to a couple engaging in very enthusiastic sex. Well, at least the girl sounded like she was really enjoying it. Sebastian could tell she was coming from her loud, high pitched wailing squeals. He couldn't hear her partner at all. Maybe it was two girls? It might have been a turn on if he had been alone but listening to this at the same time he was peering down at the flinty old woman who actually appeared rather pleased was mortifying and had the effect of dousing the lower half of his body in ice cold water.

"Should we be here?" Sebastian asked.

Imogen's eyebrows raised with amusement. "Is this offending your innocent ears?" She smirked at him and shook her head. "Don't worry. You won't have to endure it any longer. They're done."

At that she lifted a hand and issued three sturdy raps against the door. "Darling, it's grandmother. You have a visitor. Please be ready to see him in five minutes. We will wait for you in the reception room."

She turned back to Sebastian and motioned him back toward the sitting room. Sebastian followed Madame Herondale into the room and returned to the chair he had vacated. He sat back, his mind whirling. It all seemed too incredible and frankly this was some sick shit. What the hell was going on with Jace's grandmother? He stayed silent and tried not to think about that creepy old lady … smiling at the sound of Jace … and some girl … not Clary. This was … real. There was no way he would have dreamed this up. This was … freaking fantastic.

The sound of solid footsteps brought him back. He looked up eagerly. He was actually excited to see this, to see Jace. There was no end to the miracles taking place this day. The tall, golden headed boy who entered the room was definitely not the Jace that Sebastian remembered. He had the same chiseled features but not quite as perfect as before. There were light white lines across his skin, traces of the scars he must have earned from the accident. He had the same golden eyes but they were dull, almost lifeless now. There was no spark to them, none of the tangibly electric energy that seemed to vibrate off them before. His hair was sheared close to his head. The longish golden curls that lapped at his shoulders, something he knew Clary adored, were gone. He had lost quite a bit of weight. That wasn't surprising considering he'd been living in a hospital for a month but it all factored into this new Jace, this pale, scarecrow version of Jace that stood before him. He dressed neatly and very expensively. If Sebastian hadn't known what Jace looked like before, he would have thought Jace was the epitome of casual, glamorous and obviously well monied standoffishness. The faint lines in his face added a roughness to his look that would intimidate most people. It seemed to broadcast Jace was someone you didn't want to tangle with even if he still possessed a pretty face. It was battle worn now and … reckless.

And just as these thoughts formed in Sebastian's head, Jace seemed to notice him. His eyes widened abruptly and a current ran through them. This may have been a terrible idea, thought Sebastian.

"I know you," Jace said and headed closer to Sebastian, his gaze intent on Sebastian, searching his face for answers. "I feel like I should know you … like there's something between us." The concentration on Jace's face was intimidating. "Were we … friends?" he asked, clearly frustrated and perplexed.

"We," Sebastian noticed Jace's grandmother swivel around to face him. The air around him felt colder, "were on the football team together."

Jace's eyebrows lifted, surprised. Sebastian wondered if he should take that as an insult.

"Really? You weren't at camp" Jace remarked.

"I had a family thing over the summer. Couldn't get out of it," Sebastian explained.

"Wow," a smile appeared on Jace's face that had Sebastian wondering if he was being set up.

"So, how great was that season?" Jace remarked enthusiastically. Now his eyes lit up, nowhere near the sickeningly bright cast that used to flow from them but it was something, a very small something that warned Sebastian some part of the Jace he had known was still there.

"Do you remember?" Sebastian asked.

"No," Jace frowned a little. "But I read about it. The doctors and grandmother thought it might help … to remember. It sounds like all that hard work over the summer … Jonathan … really pulled through," Jonathan's grin returned but there was a melancholy to it. "I wish … Jonathan would visit."

"Well," Sebastian couldn't help responding. "Jonathan doesn't even know … about your accident and anyway," he could feel Madame Herondale's steely glare, "you and he are not exactly best friends." He was making a real mess of this. He didn't have to look at Madame Herondale to know she would fully agree. Maybe she was regretting bringing him here but something forced him to continue.

"What do you mean?" Jace was puzzled, a deep furrow between his brows. "We got along great."

"That was before," Sebastian explained. "Before you met his sister."

"Now, Jace," Imogen interrupted just as Jace's frown smoothed away and he burst out laughing.

"No," Jace choked out, "Please tell me I didn't," shaking his head, a smirk on his face. "That's right. I remember Jonathan said his sister was a redhead." Jace shrugged. "It's a weakness. Damn, I really thought I could just stay away from her."

Sebastian knew what he had to do. "Do you remember her?"

Jace looked at him oddly while Imogen watched Jace carefully. "No. Should I?"

Sebastian swallowed. "You two were pretty close. She … loves you. I know she's waiting for you."

"Really," Imogen sounded calm but Sebastian could feel the tension in her voice. "Jace, she was a high school fling. She knew you were leaving for University. I'm sure she's accepted that your time together has ended."

Jace kept his eyes on Sebastian. "Why would you bring her up? Were we … still together? Why hasn't she come to see me?"

Imogen reached out and placed a hand on Jace's shoulder. "Darling, we have our own plans for your future and she has nothing to do with them. I thought it best that we cut any ties with her now. You don't want to continue stringing her along needlessly, do you? It was one thing during high school, when you had to … appease her brother, but now, you are all leading separate lives."

Jace was silent and then nodded. He seemed to accept this explanation but then, "So, I dated her … for a while, I guess. How long?"

"For a year," Sebastian wished he could stop but he had to do this. "I think you cared for her."

Jace's eyebrows shot up. He looked … shocked.

"The thing is," it was time to lay his cards out and see where it would take him. "I love her, Jace. I know you and your grandmother have other … plans and I want you to know I'll take care of her. You don't need to worry about her, someone you can't even remember. But I … I can't go back to her and pretend to her, that I didn't tell you the truth. I … I want your … blessing. I want to be able to tell her that you're okay and you want her to be happy ... without you, with me. Can I do that, Jace?"

Something sparked in Jace's eyes. They seemed to blaze when he shook his head, "No. She's mine," and then they almost immediately extinguished and he seemed flabbergasted by his own reaction and … scared. "I don't know why I said that. I don't understand." His face contorted. "I don't know why … I just … I feel like … there's something I …"

Jace's grandmother stood over him and embraced him, patting his head in a soothing motion. "Sebastian shouldn't be bothering you with this, darling. I understand. I know it must be terrible, missing an entire year of your life, but I am here for you and we will put it all back together. You mustn't worry. That part of your life is over. Would you like to go out tonight? I'll ask the doctor. You should be able to take Erica out to dinner. Would you like that?"

Jace nodded blankly. His eyes dulled again, momentarily filled with spirit and now a bored moroseness returned. "Yes, thank you, grandmother." He lifted his face up to his grandmother while she hovered above his seat. "You've been very understanding."

He turned back to Sebastian, his grandmother stood by him, resting a hand over his shoulder. "You seem like a good guy, Sebastian, and you really do seem to … love this girl. You should … go to her. Tell her I don't remember her and … she'd be lucky to have you."

Sebastian breathed out with relief. "Thank you, Jace. I do love her. I will make her happy. I … I wish you well … with everything. I'm … sorry this happened to you. Can you … can you write this to her … in a letter? I can bring it to her. She … she might have a hard time letting go … without it."

Sebastian wondered if he went too far. A fire seemed to return to Jace's eyes, a glowing ember in his golden eyes as he wavered but his grandmother's grip over him tightened and the glow gradually died away. "Alright, if that would help. I … I don't want to hurt anybody."

"I'll go get some stationery," Jace's grandmother volunteered cheerfully. She stepped briskly out of the room, leaving Jace and Sebastian staring at each other.

"So," Sebastian felt the need to break the heavy silence. "Who's Erica?"

Jace relaxed and sat back in his chair. "She's a resident here. That's how we met. Red hair," he ended as if that explained everything.

"So she knows you're leaving and … everything?" Sebastian wondered.

"Well, I haven't exactly told her all my plans," Jace looked away, bored, "but she's a doctor. She's smart enough to know I'm not going to live here. It's just something to do … to pass the time." Jace sat up then and fixed a hard look at Sebastian. "You said I cared for her?"

Sebastian nodded lightly. "Yes, you did."

Jace sat back again and looked away wonderingly. "Hard to imagine. I've never … cared about any girl before, other than Alex, my best friend. She hasn't come to see me either." Jace frowned.

"I think your grandmother is just … very careful about who you should see," Sebastian suggested. "She wants to make sure you're ready, doesn't want you to stress out, I guess."

Jace closed his eyes and brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Maybe … maybe I should meet her. Maybe it would help."

Sebastian's heart began hammering. He didn't have to think this one through. If Jace saw Clary he felt certain … all his hopes would be dashed and … what was he doing? Did he want to help them, to find each other again, or did he want his chance? How much did he love her? What was it worth? Did he love her more than he loved himself? Yes, yes he did and he also loved her more than Jace ever could. He had waited, in the background, all this time, while Jace fucked up over and over again and this time, this was his time.

"She doesn't belong in your world," Sebastian answered. "You two have had a few bumps and your grandmother never approved. If you go back to her, she'll never let you leave. I know her. She has her heart set on you and unless you break it, she won't give you up."

Jace opened his eyes then and they remained narrowed and thoughtful. "How could she force me to stay? Girls have tried to keep me but there's really nothing they can do. How can she force me?"

"Please, Jace," Sebastian begged and he hated himself for it. "Please let me have her. You don't even know her. If you go back to her, you'll have to give everything up. Everything you know your life to be, your grandmother, your money, everything."

Jace's grandmother returned then and walked over to a writing desk by the wall. "Come, darling. Let's get this over with. I've already cleared your evening out with the doctor. You can have a nice night and enjoy yourself."

Jace stood up and moved a bit hesitantly to the table. He took the pen his grandmother handed him and lowered himself over the paper to begin writing.

"I don't even know her name," he said.

"Clary," Sebastian offered and held his breath.

Sebastian entered the room. He blinked rapidly, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. There were no lights on and the shades were drawn. It was dark and quiet.

"Clary?" he called out. He knew she was here. He had come straight to her home once he arrived back at Idris.

Her Aunt Hodge had actually been glad to see him, even almost accusingly asked him where he'd been.

"Clary hasn't been herself. She won't see any of her friends. Hasn't been out for anything other than school for over a month. Just goes to school and then straight to her room. She doesn't make a sound in there. I told her I need to know she's breathing every once in a while so she doesn't lock it," she quickly explained. "Please help her. She won't talk to me. I know something's happened with Jace. He hasn't called or come to see her. You have to do something."

So he was quickly ushered to her room and left alone to see her.

"Can I turn on some lights?" he asked. It would be helpful to see something, even if it was just his own two feet in front of him.

"No," her voice was soft and then he heard a click nearby where her voice came from and a soft white light beamed out from the small lamp by her night table.

She lay back on her bed, over the covers, her hair fanned out around her head, fully clothed and eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you doing, Clary?" Sebastian asked and moved over to her. He sat by her side on the bed and looked down at her.

"I'm lying here. What does it look like?" she answered.

Sebastian was struck by how much her voice sounded like Jace's, lifeless and dull.

"Clary," Sebastian said gently and brushed the hair away from her face lightly. "Why didn't you tell me? About Jace?"

Her eyes moved onto his and there was a hardness and a sorrow in them that felt like a blow.

"Tell you what?" she asked in a ragged whisper. "What is it you think you know, Sebastian?" She slowly lifted herself and sat up.

"I know he hasn't been here, that you haven't heard from him for more than a month," Sebastian replied.

Clary shook her head. "You don't know anything." She turned her head and was about to lie down again, on her side, facing away from Sebastian, when he grabbed her arm and turned her back around to face him.

"I've seen him, Clary. I've talked to him," he told her.

She stiffened and her eyes widened. There was a clear brimming hope in them now. "What did he say?"

"First, tell me what happened," Sebastian spoke levelly.

Her face turned down and she shook a little. "I … I drove him away. I … I have to see him. I have to make this right," she lifted her face and she grabbed at Sebastian's arms. "He won't answer my calls, my texts. I've sent him emails and letters. I may just have to sneak off to visit him at Harvard but there will be hell to pay with my Aunt. I've asked if I could go and she forbade me." Clary's face soured, "but I've got to do something. Help me, Sebastian."

"Clary," Sebastian tried to calm her. "First tell me how you drove him away."

Her eyes dropped and tears began streaming down her cheeks. "He asked me to marry him and … I told him we weren't ready and … he thinks I don't want him but … that's just crazy. I just … I didn't think we were ready for that yet. We're … just kids," her voice cracked and she started crying heartily.

Sebastian took her in his arms and held her while her crying grew jagged. His spirit soared when he felt her small hands clutch onto his back.

"Please help me, Sebastian," she gulped out. "You've seen him. Where is he?"

"I have a letter. He wrote it for you," Sebastian moved back to pull out the letter from the inner pocket of his blazer. He held it out to her.

She looked down at it and then took it in her hands, carefully unfolding it. The paper crackled as she held it out to read. Sebastian watched her wide green eyes move left to right, devouring the short lines that Jace wrote to her.

He thought about how Jace had sat at the desk, how he couldn't hide a slight tremble to his hand as he slowly wrote out the words. He seemed to have trouble forming the sentences so his grandmother helpfully stood over him and suggested a few phrases.

"Short and succinct, that would be best, dear," Madame Herondale told him.

Sebastian could see she was making quite an effort. She was really trying to comfort Jace, to have him lean on her but there was a rigidity in the way she glided her hand down his head to pat at his back that made it clear she was unused to such demonstrations. The way Jace tensed at her touch told Sebastian he was no more comfortable with this interaction from his grandmother but it seemed to have the desired effect when he started writing. Sebastian had already read the letter and could guess at the impact it would have on her.

Dear Clary, it began. The name, Clary, was almost illegible. Seemed Jace had some difficulty spelling it out.

I'm writing to tell you I've moved on and you should do the same.

Whatever we were to each other doesn't exist anymore.

Have a good life.

~ Jace

Sebastian watched her blinking, uncomprehending, in complete disbelief. He watched her face alternate between bafflement and then suspicion and then she recognized the handwriting. She knew Jace wrote these words and then her eyes … shut down. There was a blankness behind them he had never seen before. It frightened him. He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Clary, are you there?" It seemed like a stupid question but there was no trace of her behind her eyes.

"He wrote this," she said, an eerie calm permeated her voice.

"Please, Clary, don't shut me out," Sebastian lowered his face to level with hers. "I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

Her eyes flickered up at him. He could see doubt in them. How could she doubt him … after everything?

"Clary –," he began.

"No, Sebastian. You don't know everything," she breathed deeply and exhaled slowly. "I'm pregnant. I just found out about a week ago."

Sebastian was speechless. He only stared at her, his mind completely blank.

"So you see," Clary continued, the strange unnatural calm remaining in her voice. "You'll want nothing to do with me. I'm pretty sure no one will want anything to do with me soon enough. I was taking something but … I guess I stopped too soon. I wasn't thinking straight after our … disagreement and I just forgot to keep … and well … I'm having Jace's baby and … no … there is no other option. I'm having this baby and I'm keeping it. I'm just … so afraid and … so alone and … Jace … doesn't want me." She stopped then and looked away.

Sebastian opened his mouth but nothing came out. He really had no idea what to say but then suddenly it all made sense. This was the way it was supposed to be. This was the way it had to be.

"I'm not going anywhere. I said I'll always be here for you and I meant it. I … I'll marry you if that's what you want … I'm not letting you go through this alone. You'll never be alone as long as I'm breathing." The words expelled out of him and once he got them out he felt … relief.

She looked at him amazed. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," he answered. He wrapped her hands in his.

"But why?" she asked.

"Because I'm truly, madly, eternally in love with you," he spoke from his heart and he thought he could see something new in her eyes.

"But … I'm having Jace's child. How are you going to feel about it?" she asked, the bewildered expression on her face along with this new … thing in her eyes.

"I'll love it, boy or girl, because it's a part of you," he answered.

She looked down at his hands over hers and she sank into him. "Sebastian," she breathed out.