So, having decided that I irrevocably trusted Ladybug and I'd stay by her side meant that there were… other issues that needed to be addressed.

Like what to do about Hawk Moth.

I was far from ready to fight him. I knew that.

And both Ladybug and Chat Noir were injured, so they couldn't make up for my inexperience.

I had to keep his hideout a secret for now or they'd want to rush in and that would probably end up with Hawk Moth getting exactly what he wanted.

So then.

The question was, what to do about Hawk Moth.

"There," Ladybug pointed at the eiffel tower.

Up top, Dollmaker was holding the replica of me in his arms. It was flailing and struggling, calling out a plethora of curse words that made me blush. It definitely wasn't acting like me. No way would Marinette be fooled-

"Hold on, Nathanael!" Ladybug shouted loudly, then swung away from me at break-neck speeds.

It did occur to me suddenly that this was the same Marinette who had been completely oblivious that her partner was in fact her crush for the past six months.

I facepalmed.

She seemed just as oblivious as Chloe sometimes.

"Ladybug, wait!" I said, taking off after her. I swung the paintbrush, trying to catch up, but Ladybug almost seemed too quick, reaching the top of the eiffel tower while I was still on foot, trying to get through the crowd of civilians fleeing from it.

An arm caught me suddenly from the side and I turned to see Ivan, relief on his face.

"You're okay," he said. He looked at the eiffel tower. "But he still has you up there. How?"

"That's a doll," I said, trying to be calm. "Ivan, I wish I could talk right now, but-"

"I get it. Go," he said, letting go of my arm.

I nodded. "Thanks Ivan," I said and then ran forward.

I was close enough then.

I teleported and found myself at the base of the eiffel tower. Ladybug was scaling it quickly, swinging by her yoyo to get up faster. I grit my teeth. "Ladybug!" I called out.

She wasn't listening.

Dollmaker put the scissors to the doll's throat. "Ladybug," he sneered. "It's nice of you to join us."

"Let Nath go!" Ladybug snarled, getting her yoyo ready.

"Give up your miraculous and I will," he said in response.

"Please, Ladybug, save me!" the doll said.

"Hold on, Nathanael," she said to the doll. "I'll get you away from him."

"Ladybug!" I shouted, then teleported closer, landing on the frame ten feet below her. "Ladybug, it's not him."

She glanced at me then at Dollmaker.

Dollmaker grinned and put the scissors tight against the doll's throat, drawing a bit of what looked to be blood.

"You're quick, Ladybug, but not that quick. Your choice."

Ladybug's lip quivered. "Don't hurt him!"

"Ladybug," I said, as calmly as I could. "Trust me. It isn't him. It's a doll. Like earlier. It's not real."

Ladybug's gaze shot to mine, an accusing look on her face. "He's bleeding. Dolls don't bleed."

Dollmaker started laughing at that. "Which are you going to believe, Ladybug?" he mocked. "What your own eyes tell you or some stray fox you just met? This is the real Nathanael, right kid?"

The doll whimpered in response.

"You said you trusted me," I said. "Please don't tell me that was a lie."

For a moment there was silence, both of us waiting to see what she'd do.

She sighed in defeat then. "Alright, you win, Dollmaker," she said. "Let Nathanael go. Tikki, spots-"

"No!" I said, trying to get up to where she was.

"-off."

A bright surge of pink light enveloped Ladybug.

Help me, Vall! I silently prayed and swung my brush, reaching for her.

There was a jarring feeling in my chest and gut and then we were rolling head over heels on a nearby rooftop. I tried to protect her with my body from the worst of it as we came down hard, hard enough to make me lose my breath.

"No!" Marinette shouted, getting up. "No no no no!" She shot me a glare. "How could you, Ren? I almost had him! Dollmaker was going to let him go!" She hobbled to the edge of the building. "Nathanael!"

"Shut up," I growled, surprising myself with how venomous my voice sounded. "Just shut up."

She seemed a little startled by that too, turning back towards me, the cast glaringly obvious in the darkening light. "Ren…" she murmured. "Your eyes-"

I pushed myself up painfully. "Why didn't you trust me?" I said. I could hear the hurt in my voice. "I told you it wasn't him. Why couldn't you trust me?"

Marinette froze, her blue eyes going wide.

I could feel the fox inside me. It was in pain. So much pain. It made me angry.

"That's Nathanael," she said, pointing. "I know him. That's him. He's my friend."

"Shut up!" I said. "Shut up about Nathanael for a minute and answer me. Why didn't you trust me? You said you did. Were you lying?"

Marinette shook her head, taking a step away from me. "No, I- I wasn't lying…"

"But when it came down to it, you didn't trust me!" I said. "What am I to you, Marinette?"

She seemed a little surprised to hear her name come off my lips.

"He's my friend," she said, as if she was speaking to someone younger than her, her voice slow. "I can't let Dollmaker hurt him, even if it means exposing myself."

"And your family?" I asked sharply. "Did you ask them if you should expose yourself? Subjugate them to danger? Did you? Your friends? Everyone you know? Adrien? If Hawk Moth finds out about you, it won't be hard to place him."

She froze in response. "I-I-"

"You didn't think about that, did you," I growled. "You didn't think about the consequences. You ran off to save your friend without even thinking of any of that. Why?"

"Because…" she paused, searching for the words. "Because…I… I don't… I'm not sure…" she said uncertainly.

"You think he'd appreciate being saved if it meant that you'd be hurt?" I asked. "You didn't trust me, Marinette. I told you it was a doll and still you…"

"I couldn't take that risk, Ren!" Marinette shouted, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. "I love him too much to let that happen!"

I froze at that, my blood turning to ice. "You love him?"

"Yes, no? Maybe? I don't know. I just know that I could. Someday. I…" her voice choked up. "I couldn't take that risk, Ren. I know him. I couldn't just let him die." She pointed. "That's him. I know it is."

I mused a moment. I couldn't tell how I felt at that. I should feel happy, I decided. But there was something that…

"You might love him," I said softly. "Tell me honestly. What do you know of him?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You're his friend, right? When's his birthday?" that should be an easy question. I'd turned into an akuma on my birthday.

"I… I don't remember," she mumbled.

"What about his favorite color?" I asked.

"All colors," she answered. "He's an artist."

"How long have you been classmates?"

"Um… a couple years?"

I closed my eyes. "Ladybug," I said, very softly. "You don't love him. You don't know him." I opened my eyes and pointed out at the tower. "That isn't Nathanael. And you would know that immediately if you really cared about him. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Someone that shy wouldn't be that bold with a villain."

"I'm shy," Marinette countered. "I turn into someone else when there's danger."

"You have a miraculous," I scoffed. "And you're clumsy and socially awkward, but not shy. I wouldn't say you're bold, most of the time, but you are far from shy."

"I…" she paused. "I'm sorry, Ren… I… I couldn't…"

"You couldn't trust me," I surmised. "I shouldn't be surprised at this point."

"Ren?"

I straightened. "Rest up. I'm going to take care of this akuma myself." I began walking away from her.

"No, Ren," she reached over, grabbing my arm.

"You've done enough damage," I snarled. "Don't try to expose yourself like that again."

She let go and I shot her one last glare before I took off, going back towards the eiffel tower.

I knew now.

She was a liar.

I was in love with a liar.

She didn't trust me. She'd never trust me. She'd never love me.

I faltered and missed the next jump, losing balance and falling down onto the fire escape.

A small cry of pain escaped my lips as I landed on my bad leg.

I sat down heavily, grabbing it and pulling it close. My body was shaking and, for a moment, I couldn't understand why. And then I felt something wet on my face.

I was crying.

"I'm such an idiot," I murmured, pulling my legs close and burying my face in my knees.

"Partners?" Marinette sang, sitting down next to me.

"Renard Roux, I trust you," Ladybug said, her eyes alight with conviction.

"Nathanael, I love you."

In that moment, my fantasy broke.

The girl I loved would never love me back.

Maybe I wasn't even in love with her after all.

Maybe it was just the idea of her, the noble, kind, brave Marinette, secretly Ladybug, protector of Paris.

I was such a fool.

Why did I think I ever had a chance with her?

She'd never see the real me, no matter how close to her I got.

Because the real me… the me that she saw… it was just as much a fantasy as Marinette was herself to me.

And it was time I woke up.

…

About thirty minutes later, I was able to finally unwrap myself from my position. I moved methodically, hardly paying attention as I stood up.

That's right.

I still had an akuma to catch.

I could do this. All I needed to do was take down Dollmaker and then…

I didn't know what I was going to do.

I'd probably tell Vall I quit first.

… but even if I did, I'd still see Marinette at school.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. I needed to get my head in the game. Or Marinette would do something stupid.

There was a pang in my heart.

I didn't know how I felt about her anymore. Not after that stunt. But I wasn't about to go back on my word. I'd stay by her side. I'd protect her. Whatever it took. It didn't matter anymore if it hurt me.

I'd save Marinette.

I opened my eyes, taking a breath.

Full of renewed resolve, I scaled the building and tried the jump again. I found myself at the base of the eiffel tower before long, looking up at Dollmaker, who seemed rather bored at this point.

"You're back, fox?" he asked, a smirk on his bright blue lips.

"Maybe," I said in response, glowering at him. "Let's make this quick. I don't want to disappoint Ladybug."

Dollmaker laughed at that. "You're so funny, kid! Like I'd give up this power that Hawk Moth so freely handed over!"

"You said Ladybug and Chat Noir weren't protecting the city," I said sharply. "You said that was your reason for doing what you did. Don't you think by now you might be a little wrong?"

"Oh, I was wrong," Dollmaker said in response. "I should have killed you in the beginning. It would have made a lot more sense."

I spread my arms. "Take your best shot, Dollmaker." When he didn't move, I grinned. "That's right, you can't. Cause Hawk Moth is a villain, but he isn't a killer. And as long as you're an akuma, he's the one in control."

"Shut up, kid," Dollmaker growled, standing up. The doll of me moved to the side, out of the way for him as he took out his scissors. "I can do whatever I want. You hear me?"

"Sure, sure," I said. "You know, Hawk Moth did me a huge favor. Maybe I should take him up on his offer." I grinned. "But first, I'll take care of you."

Dollmaker growled and swung down then, landing below one of the arches. "I'm going to make you pay, fox. I'm going to make you pay for everything you've done."

"Oh yeah?" I challenged. "What have I done to you? What could I possibly have done that makes you hate me so much?"

He just ran up to me at that with a yell, swinging for my face.

I barely dodged out of the way, letting my instincts guide me. Fighting had never been my strong point. I wasn't athletic. I didn't usually exercise. I sat out during P.E. at school… but I knew I could do this.

I could fight Dollmaker.

I'd done it before when he was human.

I'd rested some since then.

I'd had my heart broken since then.

And I realized something very important to me. To who I was.

None of that mattered.

All that drama, wondering which side I was on, wondering whether or not I was in love with Marinette, wishing, hoping, thinking that she could possibly fall in love with me…

None of it mattered.

Because I was a fox.

I grit my teeth, the paintbrush expanding in my hands to its full size.

And foxes lived in the moment.

They were prey animals. Humans hunted them. They stole from humans.

But they were also predators, hunters. They were quick and clever and, most importantly, they were free.

In that moment, it clicked.

I pulled back my lips in a snarl, my ears going back sharply against my head. The fox and I were one and the same in that moment. There was no Nathanael. Just Ren. And Ren didn't have to be athletic to be dominate. He just had to win.

I brought my brush down sharply onto the ground, using it as a fault. I leapt up into the air, kicking out my feet and hitting Dollmaker squarely in the chest.

He stumbled back with the force of it, his extra arms reaching for me.

But I was still moving.

I landed in a crouch, taking the brush and flipping it over my shoulders, bringing it down sharply at him.

He dodged out of the way, as nimbly as a spider, looking surprised, almost shocked.

"Ren!" I heard a voice shout.

One of my ears twitched, but I was too focused on the Dollmaker to actually pay attention. Dollmaker took a step back, getting to work making another one of his dolls.

I wasn't going to let that happen though.

I let out a yell, swinging my brush. It hit the Dollmaker in the head as it came down and I lifted it again, bringing it down.

A hand gripped it from behind.

"That's enough, Ren!" I heard Ladybug say.

I froze, hearing her voice.

I looked to see her standing behind me, her eyes shadowed with sadness.

"Ren," she said softly, her blue eyes looking up at me. "He's already down. Don't do anything more. Please. Leave the rest to me."

I glanced down at Dollmaker. He didn't appear to be getting back up.

I was a little disappointed how fast that was.

I lowered my brush, putting the end on the ground.

"Alright," I growled.

"Where's his akuma?" she asked.

"Why should I tell you? You won't believe me anyway," I said venomously.

She winced. "I… I was wrong, Ren. Please, let me make it up to you."

I cast her a doubtful look. "In his scissors," I said. "At least I think that's where they are."

She nodded and picked them up.

"I need to cast lucky charm before I can purify it," she said in a low voice.

"Then do it," I said.

She nodded and then tossed her yoyo up in the air. "Lucky charm!"

It came back down as a small card, fluttering into her hand. She looked at it a moment then handed it to me.

I'm sorry it read, with a picture of a fox playing with a ladybug.

I didn't respond, just handing it back.

She took the scissors and brought them down sharply on her knee.

The akuma flew our and she, wordlessly, swung her yoyo, catching the akuma in the white light.

"Bye, bye, little butterfly," she said softly as it flew out, then she looked at me. "Are we okay, Ren?"

"No," I shook my head, watching as the Dollmaker turned back. "But I think we will be. Eventually."

"I guess that's all I should expect," she glanced up at the eiffel tower. "I do wonder where Nathanael is though…"

"Probably hiding somewhere," I said in response. "I'll take this guy to the police. You should… go home." I glanced at her leg. "And rest up."

She gave a slight nod. "I guess it was too much to hope that I wouldn't be hurt after, right?" She put a little weight on the leg, testing it out, then put some more, a frown on her face. "It's… it doesn't hurt."

"That's impossible. It was broken before the guy became an akuma," I said in response.

"No, really, Ren, it doesn't hurt! Which means- Chat!" she swung her yoyo then. "I'll catch you later, Ren!" She disappeared then, going away.

I sighed and then picked up the former akuma, carrying him over to where Sabrina's dad was.

"Here's the kidnapper," I said. "I hope you treat him well."

Roger nodded. "He's not going anywhere," he promised. He gazed at me evenly. "So you're a new hero?"

"I guess," I said.

"As long as you're helping Ladybug and Chat Noir, that's enough for me," he said.

"Well, I'll help them as best I can," I said in answer.

He shook his head. "They haven't been able to defeat Hawk Moth. It's been months."

"Yeah…" I muttered. "But hopefully not much longer. I… I need to go." I took off then, before he could respond.

I had one last stop to make before I went home.