Temper Temper

Monday:

Miria: Lunch time! Now I can sit down in peace and quiet and eat my favorite sandwich, drink my favorite tea and enjoy some alone time. Ah…. Peace and quiet I have soooo missed you. Ok, now where is my lunch…. (Looking around her stuff) What? Where is it?

Helen walks in eating something

Helen: Hey, Miria! Guess what I found?! A magical sandwich! It appeared out of nowhere!

Miria: Ah!!!!!! My sandwich! Why are you eating my sandwich?!

Helen: …. Your…. Sandwich? (Looks down at what's left of the sandwich)

Miria: YES! MY SANDWICH! WHY ARE YOU EATING IT?!

Helen: Uh… I found the magical sandwich and I thought that the magical sandwich was the one and only Great Magical Sandwich that appeared to the one special person that it deemed worthy to eat it.

Miria: ………………………WHAT?! THE GREAT MAGICAL SANDWICH?! WERE YOU BRAIN DAMAGED IN PIETA OR WERE YOU ALWAYS THIS STUPID?! WHERE EXACTLY DID YOU FIND THIS GREAT MAGICAL SANDWICH?! DID IT HAPPEN TO BE IN MY THINGS?!

Helen: Ummm….. Maybe?

Miria: …………..1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10…. Deep calming breaths…. In… Out…. Why were you in my things?

Helen: I smelled something really good and decided to look for the source. I found the source in your things! It was really good!

Miria: I KNOW IT WAS GOOD!!! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SANDWICH!!! I WAS GOING TO EAT IT TODAY AND DRINK MY FAVORITE TEA IN PEACE AND QUIET!!!

Helen:…. Oh….. Ummm… Sorry?

Miria: ……. Give it back.

Helen: What? How? It's already in my tummy.

Miria: I know. (Draws her claymore)

Helen: AGH!!!!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!!!!! MIRIA'S GONNA KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Tuesday:

Deneve: Wow Helen, you were lucky we showed up when we did! Otherwise Miria would have cut you up for eating her sandwich.

Helen: I know…. Hey, what are Tabitha and Yuma doing?

Deneve: I told them to get in Miria's face and stare at her while she slept.

Helen: Why?

Deneve: So that we know the moment she wakes up and you can run and hide.

Helen: Oh, that's brilliant!

Meanwhile in Miria's sleeping brain….

Miria: Something's not right. I feel as if someone's watching me, but I'm all alone in this meadow. Reveling in the peace and quiet…… Oh, I'm dreaming. Then that must mean…… (She opens her eyes and sees four huge eyes staring back at her) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR (Tabitha: Deneve! She's awake!) GGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thwack! Thwack! Thud! Thud!

Deneve: Uh oh……

Miria had wacked Tabitha and Yuma on the sides of their heads with the broad side of her claymore.

Miria: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!!! YOU DON'T GET INTO SOMEONE'S FACE LIKE THAT WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING!!! IT'S CREEPY!!! WHERE DID YOU GET AN IDEA LIKE THAT?!!!

Yuma: (whimpering) Deneve told us to.

Miria: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10…. Deep calming breaths…. In… Out…. Deneve, come here. (No answer) Deneve? Where did she go!

Tabitha: She and Helen ran for it.

Miria: YOU TWO GET BACK HERE!!!

Helen: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU GOT ME IN TROUBLE TOO!!!!

Deneve: WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?! YOU'RE ALWAYS IN TROUBLE!!! NOW SHUT UP AND KEEP RUNNING!!!

Wednesday:

Cynthia: (singing) La Li La Li La Oooooooooh! Cute little puppies go Woof! Woof! Cute little kitties go Meow! Meow! They're all so fluffy and puffy and cuddly and incredibly loveable!!!!!!!! They are the perfect friend for me! Yes the perfect friend for me….

Miria: (slightly scared) Uh….. Cynthia, what are you doing?

Cynthia: Singing about puppies and kitties. (Pours something into a pot)

Miria: Uh… Yeah I kinda heard that part, but that's not what I meant. What are you making?

Cynthia: Oh this? I was bored so I decided to make my super secret art craft. (Pours something else in the pot)

Miria: Super secret art craft? Do I even want to know?

Cynthia: Of course! It's really cool!!! You wanna see? I'm almost done! (Stirs it)

Miria: I'm probably going to really regret this. (Sigh) Fine, show me.

Cynthia: Yay!!! Here it goes!!! (She throws something into the pot, kicks the pot, and then it explodes in a wet fiery red glory all over Miria and Cynthia and everything in the vicinity, which happened to be all of Miria's things.)

Miria: ARGH!!!!!!

Cynthia: YAY!!!!!!!! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Miria: NO!!! …..1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10…. Deep calming breaths…. In… Out…. Cynthia, kindly clean all of this up and you are no longer allowed to be in here unsupervised again.

Thursday

Clare: Hmmmmmmmmm…………………………..

Tabitha: What's wrong Clare? Do we need to explain it again?

Cynthia: We don't mind.

Yuma: Clare's scary.

Cynthia: Why do you say that?

Yuma: She's thinking. No good ever comes from her thinking.

Clare: ….. So….. What you guys are saying is that…… you guys are better at healing than I am…

Tabitha: Yeah.

Clare: That being injured isn't as bad for you as it is for me….

Cynthia: Yep.

Clare: ….. So if you lose a limb……… you can always grow it back….

Cynthia: Yep, as long as it hasn't been too long we can pop another one out! Haha!

Clare:………………….

Yuma: Oh no! She's thinking something evil!!!

Clare: So that means……………..

Tabitha: Defensive types are completely awesome!!!

Clare: Yeah! Defensive types are completely awesome!!! (Yuma: Here it comes.) You guys make the perfect sparring partners!!!!!!!!!!

Cynthia: Huh? What?

Clare: Yeah! No matter how much I cut you up! You can always heal it!!! It's perfect!!! Here we go Cynthia!!!

Cynthia: A-Ah!!! No wait!!! If you injure me, who's going to aid the healing of the others?

Clare: ……… That's a good point. Ok, here we go Tabitha!!!

Tabitha: Then who's going to search for enemies?

Clare: ……… Yuma!!! (Swings and cuts Yuma's arm off)

Yuma: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clare: Walk it off and hurry up and grow it back.

Yuma: I'M NOT DENEVE!!!! I CAN'T JUST POP ANOTHER ONE OUT IN LIKE 2 SECONDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clare: Oh…. Sorry……Deneve! She's the perfect partner!!! Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deneve: What's all this screaming for?

Elsewhere

Miria: I sense someone doing something stupid.

Back to the group

Deneve: Yuma! What happened to you?!

Clare: Prepare yourself Deneve!!!

Deneve: What?! (Clare cuts her leg off) ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Miria arrives to see Tabitha and Cynthia huddled to the side, and Yuma and Deneve on the ground a limb or so short of when she last saw them and Clare standing above them her sword covered in blood.

Miria: WHAT HAPPENED?!!!

Deneve: CLARE CUT MY LEG OFF!!!!!

Miria: CLARE!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!! ARE YOU CRAZY?!!!!

Clare: No. Cynthia, Tabitha, and Yuma were explaining in detail about the differences between defensive and offensive types… So I concluded that defensive types make the best sparring partners.

Miria: …….. 1-1-2-3-4-5-3-4-6-7-8-9-10-6-1-10…. Deep calming breaths…. In… Out…. Clare, you…….just go back to the cave.

Friday

Helen: As all of you know, Miria seems to be having a bad week. So Deneve and I came up with a brilliant plan so make her happy again!

Cynthia: How are we going to get her to come way out here?

Deneve: Well being the genus I am I came up with a brilliant way to lure Miria here. Last night Helen and I borrowed some of Miria's clothes.

Yuma: YOU GUYS STOLE MIRIA'S CLOTHES?!

Deneve: No, we took everything but her shirt and skirt.

Helen: Yeah, we're not stupid. If we took everything she would kill us.

Deneve: Clare, did you finish them?

Clare: Yep, made a whole lot of them too.

Helen: Cynthia and Tabitha did you finish what I asked you two to do?

Tabitha: Yeah, we made it a little bigger than what you asked.

Helen: Great.

Back in the Cave

Miria: Ah, it's so quiet. How nice. I think I'll just lay here and relax…. Wait, it's quiet. What's going on? (Opens eyes) What? Where are the rest of my clothes? THEY STOLE EVERYTHING BUT MY SHIRT AND SKIRT!!! WHERE ARE THEY?!!! (Looks around and notices something black outside the cave) What's that? (Goes outside and looks) It's one of my belt things! It looks like there's something black way over there too. THOSE IDIOTS SPREAD MY CLOTHES ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!

30 minutes later

Miria: I am seriously going to kill them. I still haven't found my shoes! Oh, they are sooooooo going to regret this! (Starts imagining horrible punishments for them) It's my shoes!!! Oh how I've missed you!!!

Helen: NOW!!!

Miria gets hit with a barrage of snow balls from every direction. Helen and Deneve run behind Miria with a snow ball bigger than them and dump it on Miria's head. Everyone but Miria begin to pelt each other with snow balls. Miria just stands there occasionally getting hit by a snow ball.

Helen: Mwahahahaha!!!!

Cynthia: I don't think Miria is happy…

Deneve: What makes you think that?

They look over at Miria who is mumbling to herself. Somehow all the snow around her had melted and she was giving off an ominous black cloud of death.

Miria: ………1-She ate my sandwich-2-They nearly gave me a heart attack-3- She blew up something in my face and got it all over my stuff-4-They made Clare think, then Clare concluded that cutting up someone was a good idea- 5-They steal my clothes…. They spread them out all over the place…. THEY MAKE ME WALK AROUND FOR THIRTY MINUTES WITHOUT MY SHOES…..THEN THEY HIT ME WITH SNOW BALLS AND DUMP A HUGE BALL OF SNOW ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen: I know what she needs! She needs another snow ball!!!!(Hits Miria with a snow ball)

Miria: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tabitha: I think she's mad….

Cynthia: I'm scared….If she's melted the snow around her with just her anger, what is she going to do to us?

Miria: OH YOU AREN'T GOING TO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT FOR LONG, BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO REVEAL THAT MYSTERY TO YOU NOW!!!

Helen: Yay! Another snow ball! (Miria gets hit once again)

Clare: Uh… Miria, don't forget you deep breathing.

Miria: SHUT UP!!! NOW AS IT SEEMS THAT ALL OF YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO INCREDIBLY BORED THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TORTURE ME WITH YOUR STUPIDITY……

Helen: Is she calling us stupid?

Miria: SHUT UP!!! THE NEXT PERSON WHO TALKS GETS KICKED ALL THE WAY BACK TO PIETA!!!

Helen: But that's…. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miria kicks her into the sky and the others stand watching her retreating form and listen to her fading scream.

Miria: ANYONE WANT TO JOIN HER?! (They all shake their heads no) NOW, NO NEED TO FEAR I WILL ALLEVIATE YOUR BOREDOM!!! FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS ALL OF YOU WILL BE CLEANING THE CAVE EVERYDAY!!! IT WILL BE SPOTLESS!!! IT WILL LOOK SOOOO CLEAN THAT EVEN DIRT WILL STAND IN AWE!!! YOU ARE ALL ACCEPETED INTO MY SPECIAL TRAINING PROGRAM!!! YOU WILL TRAIN HARD AND I WILL OVERSEE THAT NONE OF YOU MESS AROUND!!! YOU WILL ALL COOK DINNER, CLARE IS ONLY ALLOWED TO HAND STUFF TO YOU GUYS, AND YOU WILL ALL WORK TOGETHER TO DO ALL THE CHORES!!! YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO DO ANYTHING STUPID FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS!!! NONE OF YOU WILL COMPLAIN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FEEL MY WRATH!!! NOW TABITHA AND DENEVE GO AND RETIRIVE HELEN!!! THE REST OF YOU GO CLEAN THE CAVE!!!