Disclaimer: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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Chapter 25 – Carried Away

"Bella, can we talk for a minute?" Edward patted the couch next him.

After our little tiff the night before, I was in no hurry to relive the previous evening's disaster. "I guess." I sat down beside him. I looked at the ground like a little girl who was about to get in trouble from her parents.

"What were you so upset about last night while we were with your mom? I really want to understand it. If you ask me, she didn't do anything for you to get so annoyed with."

"Are you kidding me?" I said suddenly snapping out of my complacent mood. "She started out humiliating me, and then she finished it up by insulting me!"

"Calm down Bella. I am just trying to have a conversation. How did she humiliate you?" Edward asked trying to keep a neutral expression on his face.

"She…. well she first of all said something about you being so good looking."

"Well it's not like she could help but notice that," he said playfully trying to break the tension.

"Then she was disappointed that you hadn't knocked me up or something already." I shuddered at the thought of what had probably gone through my mom's head.

"Really? I didn't get that from what she said. Sure, she called you stuffy, but I thought she was kidding."

"That's what I mean when I say you don't know her. I know her, and I know what she means. We have always been very different people. I am more the responsible adult in our relationship and she is more the wild teenager. My way of rebelling against my mom in high school was to get good grades and join clubs. I worked hard at disappointing her. Our problems go even deeper than that. My work means so much to me. It's what I live for, and she doesn't get it all. She isn't proud of the things I've done; she just constantly brings up how unwise it is for me to put myself in danger."

"I think you need to cut your mom some slack. Any mother would worry about her daughter nearly being killed," Edward argued.

"Why are you taking her side?" I said with tears forming in my eyes.

"I'm not taking her side Bella. I think the things you do are beautiful. I love that you help people and care about those who are suffering. It's just I understand where your mom is coming from. When she talked about the situations you have been in, I was really upset. I – I don't want to loose you. I can't imagine how I will cope with it if you leave the country again."

"There is no if Edward. I hope you understand that this is what I do. I tour refugee camps, and then I write about what I saw." I felt like I was going to throw up.

Edward took a deep breath, "I know. It's just, I wish – I just want to keep you safe and protect you always. What if I hired you to work for me?"

My entire body started to tremble with rage. "You – think – I – would – want – to – work – for – you?"

"Please Bella, don't get upset, it was just an idea. I bet it would make your mom happy too."

If you want to make my mom happy, we should both be taking our clothes off.

"You obviously don't care about me or what I care about. I can't believe this." I started pacing back and forth across the room. "I knew this was too good to be true. Sooner or later this was bound to happen. I thought you were perfect, but now it seems like you – you – you are just like my mother!" Angry tears were streaming down my face. Edward tried to stop me and hold me, but I broke free. "Don't! If you can't respect what I care about, then you don't respect me. Don't touch me."

"Bella, I do care! I just don't want anything to happen to you. I can't live without you!"

"Well you can either live with who I am and what I do or you're going to have to live without me."

Shut up Bella, just stop talking!

Hurt washed over Edward's face, and he looked out the window. I was so angry I couldn't even look at him. I stomped out the front door. When I got outside I looked up to see Jacob's Honda pulling into the driveway. I looked back and glared at Edward who was still looking out the window and jumped into Jacob's car.

I started sobbing as soon as I closed the door.

"Bella what's wrong? He hit you didn't he?" Jacob asked.

"No, don't be stupid. Please let's just go," I cried.

When I looked up to see Jacob looking at me, I didn't see evil obsessed with himself Jacob. I saw my old friend who acted like he actually cared. I remembered for a second why I used to care about him so much. I felt relieved that even though we had grown apart, Jacob would know that I would need time to calm down before I could talk about anything. He just drove through the neighborhood down to the lake and parked in a parking lot. He put his arm around me and pulled me to him. I let myself forget about the past just for a second, and sobbed into his shoulder until I ran out of tears.

"I'm sorry Jacob. I didn't mean to ruin your shirt." I said trying to wipe off some of the snot and mascara.

"I don't mind Bells. Do you want to talk about it?" He asked concerned.

I considered for a moment the implications of talking to Jacob. Part of me hated him, and part of me still remembered him as my closest friend. We had been close in a way that was different even than the way that Alice and I were close. Alice and I were more like opposites that attract. Jacob and I were more similar – we got each other. At least that's what I thought, until he started acting like a complete douche. I wiped away the rest of my tears and saw that his eyes were full of compassion.

The words poured out of my mouth. I told him about the dinner with my mom and Edward's reaction to it. I told him all about what Edward had said today. Somehow I even ended up telling him about James. He just sat there and listened taking it all in.

"Ok Bella, you need to breathe. You have been going through a lot. I don't think this fight has to be a deal breaker," he tried to comfort me.

"But he doesn't want me to follow my dreams." I started to tear up again.

"He didn't say that, he is just worried about your safety. All of us are when you go visit the camps."

"But you never told me not to go or tried to make me your secretary," I reasoned.

"I knew you would kill me if I tried to get you not to go, but I was friends with you for years. Edward has only known you a short time. He probably didn't understand just how passionate you are about this. I would have stopped you from going if I thought it was possible," Jacob admitted.

"I've missed having someone around that I feel like understands me Jake. I think that's what was the hardest about you leaving. I felt so lonely without you."

"I'm sorry for what I did to you. I would do anything to take it all back. I just didn't know how to deal with my own conflicting feelings. I felt like my independence was being threatened. I know you can't understand that, but I really am sorry."

"I wish you would have told me instead of just running away."

"I do too, but now I'm thinking it was actually the best thing for you. I've never seen you so alive before, so confident, so beautiful."

"Thanks," I blushed.

"I am sorry to say that it seems like Edward is a big part of the new you. I think he's good for you Belly. I'm happy for you."

"How can he be good for me if he is just like my mom?"

"I think you're jumping to a wrong conclusion. It sounds like he cares about what you do; he just cares about you more. I know this is hard for you to imagine Bella, but sometimes in relationships people have to compromise. You are used to either just giving in to what everyone else wants or being stubborn and refusing to find a middle ground. You need to listen to his concerns and see if there is some way to work it out so everyone feels at least a little bit better."

"That makes sense," I said and took a cleansing breath.

"So do you still want to have lunch?" Jacob asked timidly.

"I don't know Jacob. You kind of waltzed back into my life like you owned the place. The way you've been acting didn't exactly make me want to jump back into being BFFs."

"I know," he said looking down. "I didn't really come back to get my books. I had been driving by your house for about three weeks trying to get up the nerve to come to the door. Alice saw me drive by that day, so I had to stop. I didn't want her to think I was a psycho stalker or something, and then I acted like a complete jerk. You were so different, and I all I could think about was that I missed my chance with you. I saw the way you looked at Edward, the way you used to look at me, and I was too stupid to realize what I had."

"Yes, you were stupid. I was stupid too. I don't think we will ever be friends like we were before, but maybe we can have some sort of friendship. I'm not going to do anything to risk what I have with Edward though, so you would have to be friends with him too somehow."

"Let's just take it one step a time Bella, but I will try and do whatever you want."

We decided to get sandwiches at a café not far from my house. I looked like a tear stained freak, but I didn't mind if Jacob didn't. We talked about where Jacob had been for the past three years. I was happy to find out that he had not enjoyed his time away. Jacob couldn't get over the whole James story, and I think his respect for Edward grew as I told him about how he had handled everything.

"Are you ready to go back?" Jacob asked when we finished eating.

"Yeah, I'm sure Edward is about to have a cow. He saw me leave with you. I wouldn't hang around after you drop me off if I were you. My boyfriend is kind of hoping to break your face," I smirked.

"I'd like to see him try," Jacob winked at me, and I laughed.

I'm betting on six pack.

I decided I would just walk home. It was only a couple of blocks and I could use the time to think. I tried to give Jacob a quick hug. He sighed, and said, "I think I made a very big mistake when I left you," he said holding on for longer than I was comfortable with. I gave him the three obligatory 'you're-o-k' pats on the back and pulled away.

"Thanks Jake. We'll talk again soon. Please don't send me anymore flowers or gifts though. If we are going to be any kind of friends, you can't try and sabotage my relationship with Edward," I warned.

"OK Belly. I get it." I sighed loudly in irritation at the nickname. He just laughed, got in his car, and drove away.

I started to walk home, but felt over anxious to get back to Edward and ran instead. I came around the corner to my house and froze. Edward's car was gone. My heart fell into my stomach, and I couldn't breathe. It took everything in me not to collapse on the sidewalk. I forced myself into the house, shut the door, and sat on the stairs. He left. He left me. I ruined everything. I knew I would run him off. I knew once he saw the real me and got a taste of my 'issues' he would be done. Edward didn't deserve to have to put up with someone like me. He deserved someone as perfect as he was.

I held my hands on my stomach trying to hold myself together. I didn't think I had any tears left, but I found some. I laid in a fetal position at the foot of the stairs and wailed. I'm sure the neighbors could hear me crying. When I finally finished crying, I just continued to lay there. I didn't move. I wished James would find me and finish me. Death would be more pleasant than life without him. I didn't know how to go back to the way things used to be now that I'd experienced what happiness felt like. I was empty. I was nothing.

I heard the door open, but I didn't open my eyes. I hoped it was James. I felt a warm hand wipe the hair out of my face. I finally peeked, and saw an angel. I thought I must be in heaven.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Edward said and pulled me into his lap.

"I thought you left me," I said and wrapped my arms around him.

Anger flashed across his face again but it was quickly replaced with tenderness. "How am I ever going to convince you that I'm not going anywhere? Why won't you believe me Bella?"

"We were fighting and when I came back you were gone. What was I supposed to think?"

"You left with Jacob. What was I supposed to think?" He asked with hurt in his eyes. "I went out to look for you. It was silly really, you could have been anywhere."

"You were looking for me?" I asked unbelieving.

"Of course, I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me. I couldn't even breathe when I thought that I had hurt you."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I see things so black and white sometimes. I can get caught up in all or nothing thinking," I admitted.

"I'm sorry I suggested you work for me. I don't think I could have said anything more stupid. I am proud of who you are Bella. If your mom is too blind to see how amazing you are, I'm not. I see you, and I love you."

"I can't stop following my dreams Edward. Please don't ask me to," I pleaded.

"Of course I wouldn't ask that Bella, but what about when we have kids. I don't want to have to tell them their mommy died when her bus exploded."

"I will have to adapt what I do as my life changes, and I realize that. I just can't think about giving it all up just for you to feel better. That seems wrong, and it seems wrong that you would want me to."

"You're right. I don't want you to give it up. I'll just have to start going with you," he said seriously.

"I would love for you to go with me, and I would also love for you to trust me that I know what I'm doing. It's not like I've been any safer here in America the last few weeks," I reminded him.

"You have a point there. I do trust you, but trust goes both ways Bella. You are going to have to start trusting the fact that I love you and I want to be with you. You have to stop expecting me to leave you." He lifted my chin forcing me to look in his eyes.

"I want to trust you, I just can't trust myself. You don't know me yet. When you really know me, you won't be so sure of how you feel about me," I said closing my eyes so I wouldn't have to see his face.

"That is not true. Remember this is true love that lasts forever and overcomes any perils?"

"Well I can believe it's like that for me, but how can I be sure that it's like that for you?"

"You are going to have some faith Bella. You are going to have to let yourself believe it, otherwise we are going to keep going around in circles with you telling me how you are messing things up and me telling you you're not. I am positive that I know you well enough to know I love you and that is not going to change. My love for you is not going to end in this lifetime."

I let his words sink in and willed myself to believe them. "Edward, you need to change some of your thinking too. You need stop believing that you are no good for me and that I would be better off without you."

"Well at least my thoughts are true," he said looking disheartened.

"No they're not!" I whined. "I need you. Even Jacob can recognize that I am more alive, confident and even beautiful because of you. Why can't you see it?"

"Ugh. Why did you have to mention that dog?" Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "I could just imagine him trying to comfort you. It made me physically ill."

"Oh you're so cute when you're jealous." I said and wrapped my arms around him.

"Well you're cute when you're breathing," he said and returned my hug.

What? Are you reading my mind again superhero?

I laughed, and he laughed with me. "I will try and do better with believing you need me Bella. I just know how much I need you, and it's hard for me to comprehend that there is anything I could give you that would compare with what you've given me."

"You have given me plenty, I promise." I kept hugging him and squeezed so hard I was sure I was hurting him. I thought I was sure I loved Edward before this, but now I didn't think that was possible. The feelings I felt had grown so much deeper and stronger over the past few hours.

I've heard about something called make up sex. Can we try that now?

"I think we should fight more often. It seems to be the best way to get you to open up," Edward teased me.

"You are so much more the girl in this relationship. You're always worried about communicating and sharing our feelings, while I just want to make out."

"Oh trust me, I'm worried about making out too," he said staring at my lips.

Trust me I'm worried about groping your rock solid rear.

I blushed and started giggling.

"Why is that funny?" He asked pretending to be offended.

I didn't answer and decided to start the make out session instead. It was a bit more passionate than I was used to and I finally had to push Edward off of me.

"That was uh, different." I said as I felt the heat rising in my face.

"Sorry, I think I got carried away," he admitted. I thought I could detect a slight blush on his face too.

I wouldn't mind if your hands got a little more carried away.

"We have to be careful I guess," he said looking disappointed.

Just not too careful.

"Yep, remember I'm rebellious. I can't do anything to make my mom too happy."

"I like your mom," he winked at me.

I like your body.

"OK, enough talking about my crazy mother. Let's watch a movie," I suggested.

We turned on a movie, but it wasn't long before we got carried away again.

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A/N: Next chapter – back to Shamrock.