A/N: I'm back. Life's been eventful. But this is the longest chapter by far, so I hope it makes up for the absence. Just to let you all know, I have a lot of downtime at my new job, so I'll be investing more time into scripting it there, and then transferring it on the computer. I think I'll be able to update a little more regularly that way.
The end of this chapter contains portions of 'Deathly Hallows' context. I won't tell you which chapter, so I can keep you all guessing as to where I am taking this chapter. So, whatever is italicized and in quotes, it's direct. Whatever is italicized but not quoted is Severus's thoughts. Okay. Hope that's clear. I appreciate all of you who have been following this story even though I've been neglecting to post. Please, if you feel so inclined or moved or disgusted with what I have written, leave a review. Thank you all and I love you!
CHAPTER 25: TO OCCLUDE THE MIND
Hermione found herself moments later inside the safe confines of the private laboratory. Mentally, she refrained from calling the space "theirs," but it still didn't feel right calling it only Severus's. She spent nearly the same amount of time there as he did, and the wards allowed her access to the exclusive space. Still, admitting the truth made it all so real, and so uncertain.
She was sitting comfortably at the end of the work table, head propped up in her hands. For once, she did not want to engage in the brewing activity that Severus was currently engrossed with. A small smile was on her face as she studied his technique and the eloquent motions his hands were performing on the ingredients. His flow was mesmerizing to Hermione. After so much time in his classroom, she thought she had fully embraced and understood what he spoke of all those years ago in her first potions class. But now, seeing the precise cuts Severus was applying to the roots, the fluid yet unshakable flows with his wand to the bubbling cauldron…it was like a performance.
"You turn potions making into an art," Hermione mused out loud.
He looked up at her and smiled knowingly. "Who said it wasn't?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I just never truly thought of it that way."
"But it is," he continued. "Potions making must be exact. It's a shame no one focuses on it. Too often, it's lowered to the standards of baseless daily activity. 'Cooking' or 'baking.'" He shook his head in disbelief. "If one really understands the art, they have the ability to go beyond what an ordinary wizard is capable of. He could bottle fame, brew glory…"
"Stopper death," she finished for him unintentionally.
Taken aback by her finishing his thought, he smiled gently back at her. "Stopper death. See, you understand, Hermione. You have the talent, and the respect, and the appreciation for all of this." He motioned around the workspace with satisfaction and reverence.
Hermione bit her lower lip bashfully and straightened her posture. "Severus Snape. Potions master and artist extraordinaire," she said with a dramatic flare.
He chuckled in response and returned back to his work. After a few more moments of quiet solitude, he noticed Hermione was still absorbed in watching him. "Are you planning on making yourself useful?"
"I didn't realize I had a job to do," she replied playfully.
"Well, if you aren't going to brew a potion, you might as well brew us a pot of tea."
She rolled her eyes and stood up to do as he asked. "Fine, but I'm not doing this for you. I just don't feel like brewing complex, life altering potions today. I'm feeling wonderfully lazy."
"Well I'm surprised you summoned enough energy to get the tea going."
"That's different. I'm thirsty."
Severus chuckled once more while Hermione busied herself with the kettle and cups, floating them over to a clean table and pouring each of them a spot. While he finished the current stage of his potion, she returned to her favorite activity of simply observing him work.
"You know, I could watch you brew all day."
He approached the spigot to wash his hands. "Aren't you full of positive compliments today, Miss Granger."
Too close to home. "Don't call me that. You make me feel so…"
"Inferior?"
"I was going to say young."
He made his way to the table and sat down next to her, gently sipping his tea. "Still, you are being exceptionally nice, compared to how you usually are."
Hermione shrugged her shoulders and looked away sheepishly. "I guess it's because I missed you while you were gone. And I was worried sick. And I was so relieved to see you back safe and sound."
She saw the corners of his mouth quirk up to her pronouncement, but it was quickly masked as was usual of Severus. "It's nice to return to a life that's so…routine."
There was heaviness in his voice that Hermione would have missed if she wasn't listening closely. But it was there, masked within the nonchalant and stoic manner Severus usually presented himself with in public. His dark eyes glimmered sadly in the torchlight, clearly confused and concerned with things he didn't want to speak about.
"I'm sure they put a lot of pressure on you," Hermione said anxiously.
Severus snorted in reply. "That's because four out of five of the members can't duel their way out of a burlap sack, if you ask me. My intelligence is invaluable to them."
"Were you harmed in anyway?"
He didn't respond at first. One of his fingers was tracing the rim of the teacup. "Nothing serious," he replied, a hand unintentionally reaching behind his head to soothe a bump that rose there after his chair had tipped over. "A reprimand for not paying attention. But besides that, the meeting was like I told you before. It was just a bunch of masked gentlemen discussing issues, and then we were sent home."
But Hermione knew he was keeping something from her. Severus hadn't made eye contact with her in what felt like hours. "Please don't try to hide anything from me, Sev," she began earnestly. "Tell me what's bothering you."
Severus sighed and his posture fell forward slightly. "I don't like getting others involved in matters that they don't necessary need to get involved in."
She placed a comforting hand over his. "I don't mind. In fact, I want you to confide in me. Please, Severus."
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am telling you! That's exactly the problem!" he spoke harshly. "You don't need to be involved. All of us are entitled to our own choice. Our own alliances. And yet, people at this school, people in our government, people in rebel groups…they want to make those choices for us and for others." He slammed his fist down. "I chose to join the resistance to help gain my own power. It's not up to me to help others gain theirs."
Taken aback at sudden pronouncement, Hermione swallowed nervously, afraid to set him off any further. "I agree with you. Well, not with your choices, but I can't force you to do something you don't want to do. I've learned that the hard way."
"Why can't others see that, then? Why is it only you?"
Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard the sorrowful tone in his voice. "What has the Dark Lord asked of you?"
Severus closed his eyes and wrung his hands together in a fist, exhaling heavily. "He noticed my…my lack of attention at the meeting. Usually, my defenses are much stronger when I face people I don't trust. My Occlumency walls are sound, my cloak and mask are on securely, and I usually don't give myself away." His eyes opened and landed on Hermione, surprisingly soft. "But you were all that I could think of that night, Hermione. My mind was constantly returning right here to this very room, remembering everything that had transpired between us." He looked away distraught. "Usually, my presence is insignificant at the meetings, but the Dark Lord made the effort to address me in front of the rest of the members, and I failed to be prompt."
In nervous haste, he stood up from his chair and began pacing. "I can't believe I was so irresponsible! To think that my normal mind shield could have protected my privacy to him! How daft of me!" His erratic pacing stopped suddenly, fear etched in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hermione. He…he saw you in my thoughts. He hates it when anyone puts something else or someone else ahead of his plans. He's asked me to bring you to our next Summons."
At the news, Hermione could feel her stomach drop and her throat dry out. Perhaps she misheard him. She hoped she did, because if it were true, there couldn't be a possibility for her to return alive and in one whole piece.
"Your Dark Lord wants me to attend his next Revel?"
Severus sighed hopelessly and nodded, affirming the worst. "I'm sorry," he repeated, more hopeless than before. "I really fucked up this time."
"Yes. You did," she answered simply.
He kicked the stool in frustration and stormed to the other side of the room, hands gripping the stone mantel as soon as he reached the fireplace. Hermione remained seated, clutching the teacup so tightly her knuckles were turning white. The various possible scenarios raced through her mind frantically. Perhaps she could run away before he was summoned next. But what good would that do? She had no contact with the outside world, no prospects of a future…absolutely nowhere to go.
What kind of Gryffindor are you? she scolded herself. Afraid to leave the castle because you're all alone? It would only be a few months, and then you would be transported back to the future.
Trying to see the positive in the situation, Hermione's outlook was still grim in either situation. Face Voldemort's wrath, or return to a life sentence in Azkaban. Neither was a walk in the park.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. No, she was a Gryffindor. That made running away virtually impossible. How could she shame herself to such an extent? It was best if she got her wits together and formulated some kind of plan of action.
"When will your next Summons be?" she asked rather stoically.
Severus's grip tightened on the stone mantel. "I don't know."
"Well, that's helpful," she spat sarcastically. "Perhaps I'll knit him a sweater before we go and see him. I would hate to arrive empty handed."
He turned around forcefully. "Do you really think I would purposely put you in danger like this? The Dark Lord is easily angered and for doing that, I take full responsibility. But your attitude is not going to help make this situation less complicated than it already is."
"My attitude!" she shouted back. "Where do you have the right to scold me about my attitude, when it was your own bigotry and power-hungry nature that has gotten me into this mess in the first place?"
"What are you - "
"Your Dark Mark, Severus!" she said with pure malice.
A muscle clenched in his jaw, finding no appropriate words to respond to her outcry, except the ones he spoke before. "I never wanted my decision of joining the Resistance to affect you, Hermione."
"Here's a life lesson for you, Snape. IT JUST DID!"
Severus opened his mouth to shoot out another harsh retort, but none came. Hermione was right. It was because of him that she was in danger. But it was so much more than that. It stemmed all the way back to when they first met. If he had kept his curiosity at bay, he wouldn't be in this mess to begin with, and now he was reaping the benefits of getting close to another person. As if he didn't learn his lesson the first time.
"And this is the price I pay for having a soul," he muttered, collapsing on the sofa.
His words, though totally self centered, touched Hermione. She slowly approached the long couch, sitting down next to him and peered into the flickering fire. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Well, I wouldn't…we wouldn't be in this predicament if we didn't get close, or develop this…this…."
"Relationship?"
He was muttering something incoherently, which only made Hermione roll her eyes. "Look, I know you think healthy, fulfilling relationships are 'taboo' of sorts after what happened with you and Lily, but believe me when I say it can only make you a better person if you allow yourself to trust another person and let them enter into your life."
He snorted. "Now, the question is, is it worth it?"
Hermione restrained herself from slapping him on the back of the head. "Please forgive me when I say this, but that is one of the most insulting things I have ever heard uttered from another person, and I'm muggle-born. You have basically signed my death certificate, and now you're admitting everything we've been through wasn't worth it. Does my life mean nothing to you?"
"We virtually put both of our lives at risk just because we couldn't control our carnal instincts."
"Carnal instincts? For Merlin's sake, Severus, this doesn't have to be theoretical or scientific. I understand you aren't a hopeless romantic. I don't expect sonnets or serenades. But you can at least admit you like me more than just beyond human instinct." Hermione reached out and grasped his hand in hers. "You and I are attracted to each other for our interests, our pasts, our minds, and everything else. It's so much more than just a man seeking a woman."
Severus sighed, slumping forward so the curtains of his hair covered his face. He shook his head, out of disbelief or disagreement, Hermione couldn't tell. But he was truly troubled by the whole situation. True, having relationships could make you into a better person, but no one said it wouldn't be a complicated process.
"Once bitten, twice shy," he whispered emphatically.
Reaching a hand to brush back his hair so she could stare directly into the deep pools of his eyes, Hermione smiled softly at him. "Then I guess we should take small steps. Slow and steady wins the race."
Severus chuckled and looked away. "Shall we share any other choice muggle adages? Merlin, my heritage is weak."
Hermione snorted. "Speak for yourself. I'm proud of where I came from."
He rolled his eyes and relaxed against the back cushion of the sofa, extending an arm around Hermione's shoulder, pulling her close to him. This was the first outward sign of affection he had initiated in days, and she was going to savor the contact.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. After working so diligently on potions, Severus always had a unique, musky, smoky smell to his robes. It was a mixture of the ingredients and the metals he used for brewing, and sometimes the smell of his own working perspiration fell into the realm. Some would find the scent off-putting, but for Hermione, it was a sign of intelligence and a focused drive that attracted her so much. She knew it was because Severus was the only one to match her passion in learning.
She felt a gentle pressure on top of her head. Severus was resting his chin there, stroking the hair that cascaded off her shoulders. Periodically, he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss where his chin had been resting before. It was all so surreal that they could have a moment like this amidst all the chaos that would soon be ensuing. It was as if the walls of the Room of Requirement were the only safe place Hermione and Severus could be together. She wished she never had to leave.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Severus whispered again in earnest sincerity. "Why do you continue to put up with me?"
She snuggled closer to his warmth. "I've deduced it to three possibilities. I'm either extremely masochistic, I lack conviction, or that I care about you so much to the point that even if you screw up, I'd sooner want to make it right together than abandon you and have you out of my life."
"Or," he chimed in, placing a finger under her chin to direct it towards his waiting lips, "You have simply gone mad."
Her lips were hovering millimeters from his. "Mad for you, maybe." He chuckled softly before closing the distance between their mouths.
Hermione recollected each of the encounters she had with Severus, and she marveled at the different feelings his kisses seemed to present at each event. Their first few kisses were hesitant, slow, new, and surreal. The second meeting was full of passion and desperation and submission. This time, it was sweet, chaste, and unhurried. Her stomach flipped happily as he deepened the kiss.
Neither of them was pushy or desperate for more. They both allowed the scene to develop on its own. Hermione found her hands tentatively loosening the tie around his neck, finally undoing the knot and the buttons from the top of his collar. His hands were tangled in her hair as he adjusted his body to fully recline on the sofa, bringing her down on top of him, never breaking their kisses.
The slow pace they took was easy for them to stop and just lay in each others arms, but as soon as they caught their breath, their lips searched for each other again, thirsty for more. His neck bare, Hermione showered kisses upon the bare flesh, feeling his pulse point with her tongue and savoring the roughness of his stubble that ran across her own cheek.
Suddenly, a light tap on the door roused them from their activities. Severus froze underneath Hermione, listening intently to make sure he hadn't imagined the sound. But it came again, a little more earnestly.
"Who do you think it is?" Hermione asked as quietly as possible. "It couldn't be a teacher, could it?"
His brow furrowed and he shook his head. "I don't think so. Only two other people actually know how to think up my labs when they see the room. And I think I can safely rule out one of them, since we haven't exchanged conversation in years." He said the last statement with a little bitterness.
Hermione straightened up to let him answer the door. Despite her efforts, she couldn't hear what was going on by the door. Both Severus and the visitor talked in hushed tones. Still, she didn't want to make herself known since she didn't know who was at the door, so she returned to a reclined position on the sofa, hiding from the stranger, and hoping that Severus wouldn't invite them in.
After about five minutes, Severus returned to the sofa, an inquisitive expression on his face. He sat down on the arm rest, folding his arms and staring diligently into the fire, obviously perusing his thoughts. "That was…strange."
Hermione sat up once more. "Who was that at the door?"
"It was Regulus, actually. He was asking about the meeting. Which is strange in itself, because I'm about ninety-eight percent sure he was there with me." Seeing the raised eyebrow on Hermione's face, he elaborated further. "Reg and I are both Hogwarts students. We are ranked the same, so naturally we would attend the same meetings." His brow furrowed once more. "Yet, he acted as if he knew nothing."
"That's really unnerving," Hermione responded.
Severus nodded in agreement. "Yes, and then I told him we couldn't talk about it, which was my mistake because he almost invited himself inside. I told him I was in the middle of something. After looking me over once, I think he put two and two together."
Hermione laughed in response, imagining the wide-eyed look Regulus probably gave the elder Slytherin at the thought of him being physical with another girl. "Did you tell him it was with me?"
"No. Frankly, it's none of his business." His inquisitive stare returned. "However, he did ask me where he could find you. Apparently, he wants to have dinner with you to…catch up."
Hermione's eye brows rose in surprise. "I didn't really think he cared for me one way or the other to actually extend a dinner invitation. What is he up to? Why would he want to have dinner with a muggle-born like me?"
"You're a Prewett in his eyes, remember. Maybe he fancies you." Hermione could detect a hint of annoyance in his voice. He shook his head. "I'd be careful around him, if I were you. I think I have to be rather cautious, myself. He's up to something."
Hermione swallowed nervously, not wanting to agree with Severus, but not finding any evidence why he wouldn't be right. "Do you think it involves your…task at hand?"
Severus's eyes suddenly grew cold at the thought. "I don't want to think about it. If that boy even dares to betray me, he'll wish he had been born a muggle and never stepped foot in this castle."
"But what if he is? What am I supposed to do? What if Reg is trying to trap me and send me to Vol—"
"Don't speak his name!"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "It's a bit hard to break down the wards of Hogwarts, let alone allow access to your privately warded and very well hidden laboratory by speaking his name."
After recovering, Severus raised an eyebrow. "An outsider like yourself knows about the curse?"
Realizing she slipped again, she awkwardly bit her lip. "Isn't everyone talking about it these days?"
Severus shook his head to brush off the strange coincidence and exhaled. "Anyways…Hermione, I'm hoping you understand that I'm telling you this for your own good, but if you aren't fully prepared for the Dark Lord, it can end much worse than you can possibly imagine. And to help beat the odds, I think it's time you fled the castle."
It was Hermione's turn to raise her brows. True, she had that decision in her list of possible choices, but she had already determinedly decided it was not an option. "Severus, I'm not going to runaway like some sort of coward."
The look on Severus's face was one of complete disbelief. "Sometimes, I feel you had a personal death wish, Granger. It's not cowardice. It's a survival tactic. Why face something you know far well and between is capable of so much magic that you could never live past the encounter?"
"I'm a Gryffindor. We are brave and valiant."
"And apparently stupid," muttered Severus under his breath, which Hermione chose to ignore.
"I don't judge you for your Slytherin instincts. 'Fleeing' the castle to you is viewed as a determination to survive and thrive. To me, it's running away. I'm sorry, but there has to be another way." She paused, looking down at her hands. "Besides, if I leave, where does that leave you? On the sacrificial altar?"
Severus's eyes softened. "Don't you worry. I can handle the Dark Lord."
"And I can't?" she retorted, her temper starting to get short.
"Hermione, there's a difference between being brave and being foolish."
"Foolish isn't the right word to use. 'Selfish' would be appropriate," she stated calmly.
The silence grew thick between them, as did the tension. She heard Severus sigh, finally accepting that Hermione was not going to change her mind about the whole ordeal. "You have to be completely mad if you show up to a Revel wearing nothing but your heart on your sleeve."
Hermione glared at him incredulously. "Well, I'm not running away," she affirmed once more. "What do you suggest I do as an alternative?"
He shook his head in disbelief, as if he thought there shouldn't be another option for her. "Do you know what he is capable of doing to you? Not just physical ramifications, but mental ones as well?"
"I have an idea. I'm not completely naïve, Sev," she responded sincerely. "But perhaps you could enlighten me further."
Pursing his lips at her blatant refusal to be cooperative, he sighed once more, carefully phrasing his next explanation. "He is a very powerful wizard. A…negotiator, of sorts. He can offer the world at your fingertips if he is pleased by what you have to offer on the table. But, he can also break you. The Dark Lord has the capability of knowing your inner thoughts. He can tell when you are lying to him, or when you are being genuinely sincere. If you dare to defy him in any way, it may be the last thing you ever do."
"If that's the case, Severus, how can you even consider working for him? That is a hell of a lot to risk," she stated in shock.
"I have not displeased him as of yet, nor do I plan on doing so in the near future, so the benefits outweigh the risks," he stated coldly.
Feeling trapped, Hermione sighed and slumped back on the sofa. All the traits that Severus spoke of Voldemort pointed to an evil, vindictive wizard, and yet Severus justified that behavior as a way to become powerful. Would he really need another reality check to change his mind about the Dark Arts and what it could lead to? As if the green elixir he concocted wasn't enough…
And there was still the issue of her safety to discuss. She was getting a little frustrated with Severus's lack of empathy in the situation that he himself was responsible of putting her in! And the fact he had no alternative suggestions to protect her if anything ill was to happen made her think twice about his affections for her, like she would only be special to him whenever it was convenient for him. But then, almost, as if he was reading her mind, Severus interrupted her thoughts that made them halt their continuous negative track.
"I may have a solution," he said in all seriousness. "I can't say for sure if it will be successful, but it's worth a shot. Besides, we don't have any other options, really."
Hermione studied him curiously, wondering what he was proposing. "Always the optimist, Severus," she teased.
He sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Do you feel your mind is capable of Occlumency?"
She snorted. "Of course. I've managed to keep your nosy mind out of my thoughts, have I not?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, very true. But I am only a beginner at Legilimency, so your defenses matched my attack. The Dark Lord is very skilled at both, and your wards will crumble with just one glance if you don't practice diligently."
"Are you thinking about training me?" she asked, a bit surprised. "Do you think your own Occluding skills are strong enough, even after you last Death Eater party?"
"The Dark Lord caught me off guard and I was distracted," Severus snapped defensively. "When I prepare myself well ahead of time, my mind is virtually impenetrable."
Hermione bit her lower lip and analyzed the situation in front of her. He made a valid point. If she had to face Voldemort, she wouldn't stand a chance. But letting Severus train her risked exposing the truth about her, and who knew what that would do to her future.
Still, her options were slim. Be vulnerable and eventually be ruthlessly murdered by the Dark Lord, or protect her mind, albeit at the risk of creating a time paradox, possibly destroying the world.
She sighed in defeat. In full retrospect, the chances of her being murdered were greater than destroying the universe. "Okay, let's start now."
A visible glimmer of excitement glittered in Severus's dark eyes. "Brilliant!" He stood up suddenly and motioned for Hermione to follow suit.
Straightening up, she nervously smoothed out the pleats of her skirt. She watched him rearrange the furniture with a quick flick of his want. Palms sweating slightly, she retrieved her wand and had it ready to defend herself, all the while clearing her mind.
"For now, I will give you fair warning when I'll be attacking. Keep your mind clear, and try to force me out as soon as possible," he said while aiming.
"Wait!" Hermione exclaimed before Severus had the chance to cast the spell. "Can you promise me something?"
Severus relaxed his stance. "It depends…"
Hermione sighed, knowing he would be less than thrilled by her request. "If you managed to see any of my thoughts, can you not ask me any questions about them?"
He raised his brows incredulously. "Are you seriously asking me that question?" He continued to stare at her as if she was mad, but finally sighed in defeat at her pleading and desperate gaze. "Alright, alright. I'll mind my own bloody business. It's the least I can do for exposing you."
Hermione released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Thank you."
Severus ignored her, clearly annoyed for giving into her wishes. His wand was poised once more at the ready. "Shall we? Prepare yourself. 'Legilimens!'"
Immediately after the spell was cast, Hermione's mind grew hazy at the intrusion, but she managed to battle his advances successfully with her rudimentary technique. The sensation was unfamiliar and uncomfortable, similar to being suffocated. There just wasn't enough room for two people inside her mind. In fear and desperation, she violently forced him to break the connection.
Both out of breath from the exertion, they didn't exchange any words about the initial confrontation. To Hermione, it seemed like Severus was trying harder to break down her barriers. She knew it was his curiosity and annoyance that was motivating him to unlock what she was hiding. Realizing this, it only made her try harder to keep him out.
She saw Severus from the corner of her eye aim his wand at her once more, and she braced herself just in time to hear him call out the spell for the second time. With her adrenaline going, he wasn't even in her mind for a minute before he was expelled, this time with a stinging hex.
"You wench!" he cried out, massaging his thigh where the curse had landed.
"Well, you aren't playing nicely yourself," she snapped back, panting slightly.
"Neither does the Dark Lord, so get used to it," he replied aiming his wand yet again.
Hermione was still recovering from the first two attacks, and not nearly ready for a third attempt. "For Merlin's sake, Sev. Could you spare me few minutes to catch my breath before you violate my thoughts for the umpteenth time?" She could feel a headache forming at the bridge of her nose, a dull throbbing that threatened to take away all her defensive capabilities.
'You'll have less time when faced with the real situation. The fact that you are vulnerable makes it imperative you prepare yourself now, because it will only make your technique stronger.
"Well, that's rich," she muttered unappreciatively, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You would support a mad man who would manipulate the weary and lowly of society?"
He glared at her. "It's not manipulation. It's is taking advantage of the situation. Grasping the bull full front by the horns. Getting to the top no matter what the cost."
"But it's almost…evil, Severus. How can that behavior be justifiable?"
"Evil?" he asked in a dangerous tone. "Hermione, you know so little about the modern world and how it works. There are so many different choices one can make in any situation. Some lead down to roads of success. Morals are roadblocks. They get in the way because they don't allow you to make certain decisions, and you end up turning around and finding a way around the obstacle. In the end, it wastes precious time. Those who decide to ignore these roadblocks, those with the power to do so, tend to find the reward at the end. Even Machiavelli, and idolized muggle, said power means never having to say you're sorry. In all existence, there is no good or evil. Only power. And those too weak to seek it."
Hermione noticed the way his eyes lit up at the pronouncement, and it frightened her greatly. She swallowed the bile that threatened to rise up her throat. "How Slytherin of you."
He didn't respond, but poised to attack once more. It looked like he was going to forego the warning this time, which made Hermione increasingly anxious. She was only a beginner at the art. How could he expect such advanced result so quickly from her? It was impossible!
Suddenly, she felt her mind being intruded, and Hermione couldn't decide whether she should be amazed at his skilled non-verbal spell, or petrified at the fact her feeble walls were collapsing with each passing second.
She was too fatigued to fight back, and a rush of memories flowed to the forefront of her mind. At first, they were typical ones of her and Severus working together, their research, their tender touches and kisses. Then, like a cue, her kisses with Severus turned into kissed with Ron. Then to his marriage proposal, and the smile that lit up his freckled face. She could almost hear his bell tone laughter, mixing in with hers and Harry's…
She felt a mental shove that broke the connection. "What the bloody hell was that about?" Severus heaved in a demanding tone.
Hermione understood there was no way out of explaining what he had just seen, but a part of her knew what he was after.
"That was my ex-fiancée," she whispered feebly.
"The dark haired boy that looked exactly like Potter?"
"No, the red…wait, what?"
"You heard me, woman!" he yelled angrily, finally losing his temper. "This has gone too far. Either tell me the truth, or I'll force it out of you. That boy looked too much like that bastard for it to be a bloody coincidence!"
"He is just a friend of mine from school," she stammered. "Actually, the best friend of my fiancée and me." She became greatly perturbed by the heavy threatening stare Severus refused to ease off of her. "Severus, why are you…"
But Hermione didn't finish her question before Severus attacked for the fourth time. Having no warning and her strength already depleted from the previous attacks, her mental walls instantaneously crumbled at his intrusion.
Hermione was in shock. He had pinned her arms to her sides in a variation of a body bind curse. Fighting it would only use up the strength she had left and it would be futile, so she stopped resisting.
Severus was wreaking havoc in her head. Flashes of memories were sifted through and tossed aside when deemed useless to the Slytherin. He only paused at sights of Harry, of adults that portrayed his worst enemies, and visions of a castle that resembled too much like Hogwarts.
Then, she felt him freeze in horror. A blurry image of a dusty room was becoming remarkably clear. But this wasn't the ordinary memory that Hermione relived in her worst nightmares. She felt herself sinking into it like a pensieve. Back to that old house where she and Harry peered through behind a crate, out of sight to the two men and snake who were currently facing each other for a final meeting.
But something was terribly wrong, because unlike the nightmares she had, she wasn't just rewitnessing the events of that fateful night when her Potions master met his match. She was reliving it in the flesh.
Refusing to admit it, Severus was generally impressed with Hermione's Occlumency skills. He knew from weeks prior that she had the general technique to defend her mind, but he hadn't tried to tear down her defenses before.
Truth be told, Severus hadn't planned on being ruthless with her. She needed to build her strength slowly. But then, she asked him to ignore any memory he saw. And that not only angered him, it sparked his curiosity.
As he invaded her thoughts, he knew she pushed more recent and harmless feelings in the forefront of her mind. She was putting up a decent fight to keep him there. Once she began throwing him out forcefully, he lost control of his temper for a moment.
And her attitude about the situation was pathetic. It was weak, and it disgusted him because he didn't want her to behave so worthlessly. He thought she had more in her. If she continued to act so weak, he'd have to physically show her what could happen to those who were too weak to seek power.
Holding back no inhibitions, he tore through her mind. She was so drained after the second attempt that the walls disintegrated like dust, despite how hard she tried to fight him. The memories at first were ordinary like before. Flashes of them together from the past few months blended into scenes of her wandering down corridors as a child. Severus noted the towering stone structures looked almost identical to the ones at Hogwarts. How uncanny…
Suddenly, an unfamiliar red head was holding hands with Hermione. They were laughing together by a lake, and Severus found himself growing disconcerted at the sight. His stomach twisted violently, and then the boy kissed her. All he could see was red, until that second boy shared in the happy couple's laughter.
The boy, with his black, untidy hair, and wire rimmed spectacles, was a spitting image of James bloody Potter. Except his eyes. Something about those eyes were so familiar and yet, eerily disturbing.
The laughter from the trio reverberated all throughout Severus's mind. Somewhere along the lines, it turned from a jovial tone to outright mocking. Laughter directed at him, and it was too much for Severus to endure. He violently expelled himself from Hermione's mind, demanding an explanation for the horrific scene he had just witnessed.
When Hermione offered no believable explanation or reason, Severus finally snapped. He tuned out her worthless blabbering, and without mercy, invaded her thoughts, desperate to finally uncover the truth that was Hermione Granger.
The majority of what he saw was worthless to him. He didn't care to see Hermione's childhood days, or the love she was showered with by her parents and family. A part of him was spiteful. She had told him months before she was a fugitive, and from what he could see, she had the world at her fingertips. She had simply thrown it all away. How selfish! At least for him, with a drunk as a father and an apathetic unloving mother, he had nothing to lose.
Severus had a feeling he was passing memories that were important to his search, but his anger was now taking control. For a few curious seconds, he could have sworn he had out-of-body experiences, like he himself was already interacting or role playing in Hermione's thoughts, but he brushed it aside, figuring it was on account of moving from scene to scene too rapidly for his mind to correctly process what he was seeing.
And then, unlike anything he had experience before in his short life, he found himself falling into a dilapidated room with peeling wallpaper. The atmosphere was foreboding, and Severus felt fear grip his soul, although it didn't feel like it usually did.
His body was his, and yet, it wasn't. It felt…alien to him. As his eyes wandered the room, carefully avoiding the caged serpent locked in the corner of the room, he finally recognized the place he was standing in from the events that transpired only the previous year. How could you forget such a place, when you were forced to face a werewolf at the peak of his transformation?
He shivered, but it ended up being a physiological one. It was as if Severus had no control of anything but his cognitive thoughts. He willed himself to escape that desolate room, but his legs did not obey his commands.
Then, his eye caught his reflection from a mirror mounted on the far wall across the room, and what he saw through the glass made him wish he could scream. It was his own reflection, he knew that. But what didn't make sense was that it was aged at least fifteen, twenty years tops.
How could this be a memory from Hermione's past? he mused, terrified by the image the mirror reflected. This is more like…like a vision of the future.
A cold voice interrupted his thoughts. Standing across the room, the Dark Lord stood menacingly, with his wretched snake caged beside him, a sick twisted versions of a pet. Severus also noticed the changes in his Master. It seemed over the years the powerful wizard managed to become even less human, with his pallid skin, beady blood-red eyes, and harrowing slits for a nose. He couldn't be more terrifying to Severus.
The Dark Lord began speaking about a wand, one that Severus believed to be folk lore. "I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from it's previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore.
Dumbledore is dead? he mused in surprised "My Lord – let me go to the boy—"Inwardly, Severus was having trouble processing this entire development. His adult self spoke out of his own control, and the older Severus seemed to have full understanding of the situation at present.
"All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend say it must perform for its rightful owner…and I think I know the answer."
Severus swallowed nervously. He knew the tale the Dark Lord spoke of from his childhood, and it connected what was to come next. He knew he had to duel the Dark Lord. He had to fight the most powerful wizard known to mankind.
The Dark Lord spoke once more. "Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen."
To Severus, it sounded as if Voldemort was not speaking of a simple duel. There was finality in his cold tone that could only mean one thing. "My Lord –"
"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine."
Severus's senses were going haywire with all the realization he was faced with. The Headmaster was dead by his own hand, and completely beyond his rationale understanding. He didn't like the older wizard, but he didn't believe in ruthless murder. Perhaps it was wise for him to be destroyed for committing such a heinous act for no justified reason. But still, a part of his Slytherin instincts would not give up the fight. Don't just stand there, you coward. Fight back! Defend yourself!
"My Lord!" he found himself protesting, raising his wand.
"It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."
Severus saw Voldemort swipe his wand in the air. It caught him off guard when the curse he expected the other man to throw at him didn't come. But then, the vicious snake was out of her cage, and her beady eyes glanced hungrily into his own, fearful ones.
As the snake encased and wrapped her powerful body around his head and shoulders, immobilizing him completely, he heard a terrible hissing noise uttered by the snake's master, and he felt a painful piercing in his neck. The snake had fatally bit him.
The scream he released sounded so alien to his ears. It was a vulnerable, condemned sound of a man who has used up his last will of survival. He crumpled to the dusty floor, feeling the breath of life escaping him just as quickly as his crimson blood flowed out of his wounded neck with every last beat of his failing heart.
The younger Severus Snape lay speechless and defeated like his counterpart, alone in the dilapidated, cold, abandoned house. His vision was fading with every last breath. The final conscious thing he could remember was a crate being moved aside, a girl, vaguely familiar, shuffling frantically and handing a vial to that Potter clone, and then staring into his eerily comforting emerald green eyes…
Like a vortex, Severus shot out of Hermione's mind as the memory ended with his older self's last breath. He barely acknowledged the girl as she crumpled to the ground in a fit of tears. Severus himself clasped on the sofa, trembling violently and breaking out in a cold sweat all over his body. His breathing was erratic, as if he was still struggling to maintain his last vestige of life.
That memory of Hermione's was too intricate, too vivid for it to be a fabricated and twisted creation of her imagination. Severus's stomach threatened to react to all that he had witnessed, and his throat began to close up, a sure sign he was about to be sick. He could still feel the strong grip of the snake around his defenseless body, and the fangs aimed straight at his jugular.
Severus retracted forward and vomited onto the floor, choking back a sob. He wiped the sweat off his forehead once his stomach calmed down, but his face still held a sickly sheen pallor to it.
He stared at the girl curled up on the ground with pure loathing. She was finally quiet, all her reserved energy expelled when she was in her fit of sobs. She lay there immobilized, fearful of the man who had just physically witnessed his own demise.
"That was a real vision, wasn't it? A vision of my future," he whispered hoarsely.
She shook her head and stared off into the fire. "It was a nightmare."
"A nightmare? Is that all it was? It was a living, real life bloody nightmare. I just saw myself bleed out and die alone and helpless. For once, Hermione, can you be honest and upfront with me? Is this a true vision of my future?"
Hermione choked back a sob and finally met his cold, unforgiving gaze. "It doesn't have to be," she whispered almost inaudibly.
"Fuck…" she heard him curse. None of them said anything for a long while, the tension at the brink of exploding. Finally, Severus interrupted the silence, surprisingly calm, considering the situation.
"How have these…prophecies…come to you, and in such a vivid format? Are you a Seer, Hermione?"
She continued to look at him sympathetically. "I am not."
"For crying out loud, Granger. Give me a fucking break!"
"I'm not lying, Severus! Please believe me! I just know what you saw is possible to be foreseen."
He stared at her in disbelief. "So you're telling me that in twenty years or so, I'm going to murder Albus Dumbledore, become possessor of this said 'Elder Wand', and be viciously killed by a snake, just so the Dark Lord can defeat James Potter? Frankly, I'd hand the bastard to him tomorrow on a silver platter."
She didn't respond immediately, but as she saw realization dawn in Severus's eyes, there was no way of turning back. "It's…possible."
Severus exhaled and rubbed his face. Hermione studied his face intensely, watching his expression change to fear, to anger, to confusion, and finally returning to disbelief.
Hermione was expecting Severus to yell and scream, shout out curses and obscenities, possibly break furniture and maybe even murder her to top it off. The last thing he would ever do would be to laugh, which is what he began to do.
He collapsed back on the sofa, clutching his stomach as he gasped for air in between fits of laughter. He face had turned crimson with exertion, but his eyes glittered dangerously as he calmed down.
"Oh, you almost had me fooled there, Granger," he said as he caught his breath. "Only the great Hermione Granger can predict my terrible demise, based on the consequences of my actions. Poor, evil Death Eater Severus Snape will get what he justly deserves. Although, I must say, the added serpent motif really set the mood for the whole scene. Bravo, Hermione! Bravo!"
"You…you don't believe me," Hermione replied somberly. "You think I fabricated all of this just to scare you."
He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Of course I don't believe you, you conniving little twat. You've been obsessing with my decision to join the Death Eaters so much that you implanted this tale into your mind with such intricate detail. I am sad to admit you almost had me fooled. But I am deeply impressed. Only the Dark Lord can create such farces into other people's minds. I have truly underestimated you."
"Severus, you don't understand –"
"Save it for someone who cares," he snapped, hatred laced within every word he spoke. "I have put up with so much of your lies and schemes that I can't keep track of what's real anymore. Frankly, I just wish I never met you." He pulled out his wanted with renewed strength, cleaning up the mess he made earlier, before pointing it directly at Hermione. "I want you to leave, and I never want to speak to you again. Once I leave Hogwarts, I will have someone Obliviate my mind of all thoughts and memories relating to you. You will be non-existent to me. And I only wish the worst in life for you."
Hermione willed her shaky legs to stand. Her heart writhed in pain at his loathful dismissal. "Severus, please –"
"Are you hard of hearing? GET OUT! NOW! BEFORE I DO SOMETHING A CIVILIZED WIZARD WOULD NEVER DO!"
Hermione took his words seriously and fled as quickly as she could to the door, not turning to look at Severus as she ran out of the room.
As soon as he heard the door slam shut, he screamed in frustration. A nearby vase that rested on a side table took the repercussions of his anger. He threw it forcefully against the mantle, shattering the glass into small shards that scattered across the floor.
Severus rested his head in both of his hands, too overcome with all that had transpired in the past few hours. But it was certain he could not associate with Hermione Granger any longer if he wanted to remain sane and focused on his plans.
A part of him wanted to believe Hermione, but allowing that to be the truth opened up another variation of Pandora's Box. He was a Slytherin. His sheer determination and will to succeed was his driving force in life, and her attempt to startle and frighten him would only slow him down. It could not be tolerated.
With decisiveness, Severus stood up and reconfigured the furniture back to its original position. Then, with his back facing the fireplace and palms facing the exterior walls of the room, he muttered a long chain of Latin incantations. The doors of the lab began to glow a silvery blue, and it rippled all across the room's perimeter.
When the lighting faded, Severus sighed and collapsed back onto the sofa. Hermione would no longer be allowed access to his labs.
He could finally continue his life without her haunting presence. The real challenge now would be surviving the oncoming months of school with her harrowing memories constantly pervading his thoughts. And that tortuous memory…wondering if in fact it was a real vision of the future.
Painful tears began to escape his eyes. Maybe Hermione was right. Maybe those visions wouldn't have to transpire in the fashion they had presented to him. Needless to say, after the events of that evening, he wished he could speed up the process and end his miserable existence early on.
But in the end, Severus Snape was a Slytherin, and his determination to succeed and make it to the top would win out in the end. He wouldn't let some lying chit harrow his plans. He would have to go on.
A/N: R&R