/Sawyer POV/
Chapter Song: Right Here - Hannah Montana
"Oh, definitely. Lots of pink. Pink everything. Plus, you look so pretty in pink. I've always thought that."
"Mama. Let's not go overboard. I just need a few shirts, pairs of pants, and maybe a dress or two. Shirts mostly. Trying to keep this baby covered is turning out to be more difficult than previously thought." I sort through the rack of maternity clothes in front of me.
"So, how are things going with you and James?"
When Mama asked, I couldn't help but to hear an underlined tone of uncertainty.
"It's going great. He's so excited about the baby. We've brought up the name conversation. He even wanted to come shopping but I just couldn't handle him flipping out and wanting to buy everything pink. Instead I brought you along for that." I sigh at my mother, who has already gathered a galore of outfits. "Mama. Just a few things"
"You're gonna start growing pretty fast and you won't have time to just keep going out and getting new clothes. It never hurts to be prepared."
"If you say so." The cringing couldn't be helped. My mother is going to drive me up the wall with all of the sudden onload of motherly advice. I suppose that it's to be expected at this point though. For the longest time, none of us thought I was going keep the baby; all that time we had thoughts to build up as to what we could say.
It's going to be okay for here on out. I just have that feeling. With my family, James, and my baby; life is going to be pretty great. Even through the petty stuff, we'll make it through.
"I love you, Mama." I turn around and wrap my arms around her neck.
"Ah. Now, Darling. I love you too. But, don't you think it's kinda early for mood swings?" She pats my back.
"Never a bad time to tell your mom that you love her."
"You're right. But this isn't you wanting me not to wish your children are as bad to you as you were to me? I'm afraid that just called karma."
"Logan, I'm home." I shout and drop the two new bags of clothes by the door. "Alright. So, I spent the entire time practically having to tear every other piece of material from mom's hands. I forgot how indecisive that woman is. Why in the world did I ask her to shopping. My feet are killing me. Work all day, shopping for three hours. Have you already eaten?"
I give him a cushion of silence to respond but nothing.
"Logan?"
The kitchen, den, and our rooms are all empty.
I call his name again as I walk down to the basement.
Is it alright to start panicking now?
"Log- ugnf." I stumble over a certain brown haired boy in my path when walking around the corner. More confusion clouds my mind then as I squat down, remove his headphones from his ears and push the hood of his jacket off his head. "What are you doing in the floor, Sweetie?"
Not too sure I want that answer. No matter how bad things get, usually Logan can keep himself together. Whatever it is that has him on the basement floor huddled up and crying has to be disastrous.
Shakily, his hand moves to a picture on the floor. Before he can even reach it, I grab him up and hug him close.
"Oh, Logan. I'm so sorry."
"I just got to thinking about her tonight." His voice is so hoarse that those words barely make it out. "I always think about her, but just got to thinking about my regrets tonight."
"Nothing that happened was your fault. Don't start beating yourself up again." Feeling his entire body shake is nearly more than I can take. It's so pitiful. It's like trying to hold all the tin pieces of him together so they don't break off. "I know there's nothing I can say to comfort you, but just know that I won't leave."
He squeezes me while I try to return the favor. "I should've been there for her."
/Later That Evening/
"Yeah. He's sleeping it off now. I'm about to make some dinner and get him to eat."
"Sorry that he's having a hard time. I can't imagine." James apologizes from the other side of the phone.
"He just has to deal with it every once in awhile." I readjust myself and push off the couch to stand. "I hate that he carries that much blame. Ouh. I just can't think about that anymore or I'll start crying."
"Let's talk about something happy then. How's my baby girl?"
Oh yeah. Whenever James says 'his baby girl', he is not referring to me. At all. He 100% means the little girl in my tummy.
"She's hungry and very active for the last few minute. At least ever since I mentioned food."
"Oh, great. Already taking after Uncle Logan. Only moves when food is involved."
"Oh my-. That is altogether too true. I think I'm gonna use that pizza crust that we have and make Logan the BLT pizza. Fry up some bacon and cut up some lettuce."
"Are you sure that you're just not having a craving?"
"So what? Logan eats like a pregnant woman. He's gonna love these next few months."
"For sure. He's not even gonna notice the change though. Just that there's food more readily available. But, hey, while I have it on my mind, you said that you had a few names picked out. Did you wanna talk about any of them?"
While I begin to prepare my pots and cutting boards, I put my phone on speaker phone and set it aside. "Well, I guess. Did you have any in mind?"
"Just a few."
"Well, let's hear them."
"No. I wanna hear yours first."
"Don't be so punchy about it. Alright. Let's see. I really like Audrey, Evelyn, Adaline, and Naomi."
"What? Are we naming her after someone from the 20's? How about something more hip? Riley, Reagan, Braelynn?"
While listening to his suggestions, I start to pull dinner together. Believe it or not, I spend more time discussing names with James than prepping the meal. I'm wanting something a little more older and uncommon and he wants to make a new name or use a typical boy name. Not because he wanted a boy, in fact, he always said that we were having a girl from the get-go; but he thinks it would be cool.
After a bit, we hang up. The dinner has be ready before I go attempt to wake Logan. Maybe I could even leave this pizza to bake and run to the store for a cheesecake or something like that.
"Thank you." A very groggy voice sneaks up behind and spooks me. Not gonna lie, I about near peed myself. "For earlier."
"I didn't do anything." I turn around with a hand resting over my belly.
"Don't do that. Just accept my gratitude."
"You don't have to thank me for doing what I was put on this earth for; to be your sister and to take care of you."
He takes a seat at the table. "But, I appreciate it."
"No matter where I am, if you need me, I'll be right here."
"And the same for you, Little Bit." He smiles faintly. For second there's silence, seeing as it is that I'm not sure what I need to say. "How is Baby Bit?"
"She's great. I think she likes when I cook. Whenever I do, she just seems to be real still, as if she doesn't want to disturb me."
"You do always look so relaxed and concentrated when you're cooking. Maybe she has that same feeling."
He isn't completely back up to normal, but we're working on that.