(A/N: It's crunch time.)

A clown with toxic green hair and bright blue eyes stared into nothing in the quiet of his home. He was seated in a white, cushioned, arm chair that his doll had picked out and he was rolling a diamond necklace between his fingers. His jaw was clenched and his emotions were flaring. Baby had been gone for a week, and a man had died every day she was missing. He needed some way to deal with the stress. Guy seven was currently screaming upstairs as he sat.

Where was Baby? Why hadn't she called? Why hadn't she crawled back on her knees begging for an apology?

He had all of his men looking for his doll and no one had any intel. He was losing thousands a day because that little brat threw a tantrum. The wound on his face was still fresh from the glass she threw. The clown smirked at the thought; his mutt sure had an arm on her.

The Joker got up from his chair and pocketed the diamonds, heading up the stairs. He walked past his bedroom and into Baby's closet, flicking on the light and looking around. It smelt like her; cocoa and cake. He remembered her face when she saw it and her mouth when she-!

The sound of barking brought him out of his thoughts and he scowled as that damn pomeranian came running into the closet.

"Shut up." The clown snarled as Baby's mutt, stood on its hind legs to get his attention. "You little-!" He reared his foot back to kick the dog but it whimpered and rolled over to show its belly. He lowered his leg and chuckled, "Smart."

As if the thing understood him, it jumped up and yelped happily, his little tail wagging furiously.

"What do you want, mutt?"

The dog yipped and ran around his legs, jumping excitedly. The clown bent down slowly and placed his heavy hand on the dog's head, before patting it. The creature nearly bounced with energy and lapped at his hand.

"Heh," He muttered, scratching behind the dog's ears, "You're kind of cute." He let out a full laugh as the dog rolled over to his stomach. "What did she call you? Ferret? Fumi? Fendi?" A bark was his response and he smirked. "Fendi."

Fendi continued to yip at his name and licked his stepfather's palm. The Joker took the pooch in his hands and stood, tucking him under his arm. "We should eat something, Fendi. She'd kill me if you were smaller when she came back."

The master of the house trotted down the stairs and to the kitchen, putting the dog down. He whistled a tune he heard his Baby singing once and pulled a steak from the fridge. He unwrapped it and dropped it in Fendi's bowl, wiping his hands and going back to the fridge. He heard a whimper and looked back at the pooch who had tilted his head up at him.

The Joker scoffed and shook his head, "Spoiled mutt. Just like your mama." He picked up the steak and threw it in the trash, "That was a $50 cut of meat, boy. Now where's that, ah, foo foo shit she feeds you?"

The dog padded to a cabinet and sat down. Ducking down, he opened the cabinet and found metal tins of dog food. He selected one and stood, squinting to read it "Bolognese? What kinda-!"

Fendi barked and ran to his bowl, waiting expectantly. Rolling his eyes, the clown opened the tin and emptied it into the platinum bowl, scratching behind the boy's ears. "Eat up, kid." He stood again and fixed himself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table.

The clown ate his breakfast in complete silence, or it would have been silent if the screams from the study weren't permeating through the house. Cracking his neck, he stood from the table suddenly. He took out a cigarette and lit it, making his way to upstairs. Little footsteps sounded behind him and he glanced back to see Fendi padding along.

As he walked to his study the screams got louder and louder. He unlocked the bookcase and it opened, the scream at a deafening level. He flicked his cigarette at the man as he stepped into the room. With a sigh, he put the man out of his misery, taking out his pistol and shooting him in the head. He took a moment to view his work.

The stranger's body was covered in blood and all ten fingers were missing from his hands. His two front teeth had been knocked out, his nose broken and one of his eyes was hanging on by a thread. Still, even with all that, the Joker didn't feel better and the man's body didn't even get a chuckle out of him.

The clown left the room and retreated to his bedroom, closing the door before Fendi could follow. He heard a whimper and he hit the door, making the pooch scurry away. He sat on his bed and fell backwards, staring up at the crown molding in the ceiling. "I should call her again." He mumbled, glaring at nothing. "I should make her bring her fat ass back here."

With renewed vigor he dug into his pocket and took out his phone, finding her number as his most used. Her name was simply the diamond emoji. He pressed it and waited, listening to the phone ring.

"Hi, it's me." Her voice was warm and even over the phone it came out in a hum, "Leave a message."

"You can come home now. I'm not mad anymore. Ya mutt misses you." The Joker cleared his throat and hung up. He had left her numerous messages and she hadn't replied to any of them. A part of him wondered if she was dead, but another part of him knew that she couldn't be.

Pressing another number on his phone, he only had to wait one ring for an answer.

"Frost."

"Where is she?" He hissed so menacingly that Frost gulped.

"We… we don't know, boss."

"I want every man we got to look for her. If she's not back here in two days, I'll kill each and every one of you." With that, he hung up the phone and let out a frustrated to scream, punching at the air.

Was she even in Gotham? Had she flown the coop at the first sign of danger? If he had known keeping that blonde nitwit alive would cause him all this trouble, he would have just killed her.

Rising in a huff, the clown grabbed his suit jacket and shrugged it on, trotting down the steps. He bolted through the front door and got into his car, flooring it out of his driveway.

The Joker made a beeline to his club and got there in record time, parking in the back and marching into the place like a madman on a mission. It was dead silent. It seemed all of his men were out in Gotham looking for his woman. Still, he went to his office and sat in his chair like it was a regular day, only this time he snorted a line.

Pulling out his phone, he tried her number again, this time with a tumbler of scotch in his hand.

"Hi, it's me. Leave a message."

"Hey Baby Doll," He greeted with a grin, leaning back in his chair, "It's daddy. You can come home, now. No hard-!"

"Hello?" A man's voice answered before he could finish his message.

Everything stopped for a moment and the clown sat up, his smile turning into a sneer. "Who the fuck is this?"

"You need to stop calling her."

His blue eyes widened and he jumped up from his chair snarling into the phone, "Where is sh-!" The phone hung up before he could finish.

"Son of a bitch!" The clown growled, throwing his phone down and slamming his fists against his desk. "Son of a fucking-!" He couldn't even get it out he was so angry.

Shaking with fury, he dialed Johnny Frost's number. "Some fucking dickhead's got her tied up somewhere when I find him I'm gonna…" He stammered and rambled and threatened, yet Johnny didn't understand any of it.

"What?"

"SOMEONE HAS MY FUCKING BABY!"

"Oh."

"Frost," The clown started, breathing harshly through his nose, "I suggest you all get off your lazy asses and find her. You love her right? Fucking prove it." He hung up and threw his phone across the office.

"I'll kill… Everyone is… I'm gonna…" The Joker rambled nonsensically as he paced back and forth in his office. In the middle of his stroll he caught his own eye in the mirror and glared, walking up to it.

He pointed a finger at his reflection. "This is all your fault," He accused menacingly, "You stupid fucking clown. She was right in our hands and you let her go. She was right there!" He erupted, smashing his fist against the glass. He pulled back his fist and stared at the blood running down his hand, before a smile spread across his lips.

Soon, a chuckle followed until a loud cackle escaped him. He wiped his hand on his pristine white suit pant then wrapped it in a scarf. Leaving his office, he got back into his car and sat there for a moment. He managed to light a cigarette with his uninjured hand and rolled the window down a tad to blow smoke out of it. Turning on the car, he flicked the switch for the radio, hearing a familiar tune.

"I'll make you happy, baby. Just wait and see. For every kiss you give me-!"

"I'll give you three." The clown finished the lyric with a grim smile, "Oh since the day I saw you. I have been waiting for you. You know I will adore you, 'till eternity…"

A knock at the window brought him out of the song and he glanced over to see someone he really wish he didn't. Rolling his eyes, he faced front again, turning up the music.

"Be my, be my baby. My one and only, baby. Be my, be my baby."

"Mistah Joker!"

"Be my, be my baby. My one and only, baby. Be my, be my baby."

"Mistah-!"

"WHAT." The clown finally snarled, unlocking the car. The blonde doctor got in and shut the door behind herself, reaching to turn the radio down. "I'll cut off your fingers."

Gulping, she pulled said fingers back.

"I heard the news." The blonde said from beside him as he focused his gaze out the window. He flicked his cigarette out and rolled it up. "Baby is… s-s-she's gone."

The Joker clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes, not responded verbally.

"I was just thinkin', since she… she's gone that…" She paused for a moment before gasping, "Your hand." She muttered, reaching out and touching it.

The clown jolted and raised it to strike her but stopped. He had a better way to deal with the doctor. "So what?" He chuckled cruelly, giving her his full attention, "You think I'm going to let you join the club because mommy's not home? And here I thought doctor's were smart." His blue eyes watched hers as they began to water and snickered, "It's your fault she's gone. She was right; I should've killed ya."

The doctor's eyes widened and she frowned, but she did not move. "You can kill me." She uttered instead, her lips twisting in a sad smile. "It's okay, I understand, you can-!"

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" The clown questioned, disgusted.

"I love you." The blonde declared, leaning towards him, "I'd do anything you tell me to. If you want me to die, I'll die." She proudly proclaimed, grabbing his pistol before he could stop her and pressing it to her temple. "I'll kill myself if that's what you want, Jay."

"Don't fucking call me that." The Joker snarled and snatched his pistol, "And get the fuck out of my car."

"But baby-!"

"OUT." The blonde frowned but nodded, doing as she was told. "Doc," He murmured before she could shut the door. She looked back at him like a puppy, "If anyone's gonna kill you, it's gonna be Baby. It'll be like… a welcome back gift of sorts." He grinned widely at her terror and reached over to shut the door himself, cranking the car up and leaving the blonde in the rain.

It was funny; he couldn't even remember her name.

At the drop of a hat he was pulling into the condo's parking garage. After a quick stop to retrieve a bottle of vodka and do another line, he was on the roof looking over the fading sunlight of Gotham city.

He had discarded his jacket and was seated on the edge of the rooftop, thinking about yesterday.

"I wouldn't die for anyone."

"Is this where you bring all your girls?"

"Your roots are showing, Jay."

"I could help… if you want me to."

"I'll do anything you say as long as you protect me."

"Fuck." The clown swore under his breath, taking a healthy swig from the bottle.

Had any of it real? Was he even out of Arkham or had he made her up? Maybe she was a figment of his imagination, carved from one of the faceless dancers at his club. A little piece of him he put into a manikin and gave life. That would be the only explanation for a girl like that.

He threw back another swig and furrowed his brows. Putting the bottle down beside him, he reached in his pocket and took out the diamond band. He could have bought it just for show.

He had made it all up. Baby wasn't real.

The Joker scowled and chucked the necklace as hard as he could, then stood on the ledge. He looked down at the sidewalk and smiled wildly, picking up his bottle.

Smarter, he had to be smarter. He needed to get in control of his mind. He couldn't feed into these delusions any longer.

The clown stumbled a bit but caught himself.

This was his city. He ran it with a vice grip. No one would dare disobey his order and yet… His mind was cloudy from the booze and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He stepped back from the ledge and decided that he needed to clear his head.

Rocking on his feet, he walked to the door of the roof, grabbing his jacket from the cemented ground. The sound of something hitting the ground caught his attention and he looked down to see a shimmer of silver. Bright as the sun and glowing proudly was his pocketwatch.

He stumbled a bit before bending down and picking up the token, staring at it for a long while. The boss clicked it open and read the engraving. Just like that he found his footing; Baby was real.

The Joker cackled loudly and leaned against the door of the roof, rejoicing silently. She was real. His mind had played cruel tricks on him before but this was not one of them. She was real. He let his head fall back and he closed his eyes. She was real.

When he came to, he was being carried into the condo by none other than Johnny Frost. He mumbled words but they all ran together as his brain seemed to want out of his skull.

Frost sat him down on the bed and took off his shoes, nuding him to lay on the mattress.

"You loved her." The clown accused in a slur, "Did she make you feel like you could do anything?" Frost didn't answer, only pulled a blanket over him. "She's got this thing about her. Like she's a fire that can't be smothered. I think-!" He burped and his skin blanched. Leaning over, he threw up and the bare carpet.

Wiping his mouth, he continued to ramble as he closed his eyes. "If I were you, I would've killed me a long time ago and took my girl back."

"Okay boss." Frost muttered, placing a trashcan by the bed. "Try to get some sleep."

"Do you think…" The Joker muttered, stopping his right hand from leaving, "Do you think she loves me?"

Frost smiled grimly, "I thought she loved me." He said instead of answering. He shut the door behind himself and the clown stared for a long while, until he finally fell asleep again.

Across town, in a manor not so far away, a rich man was erasing the voicemails on a woman's cellphone.