Harry couldn't say he was particularly happy with where the last chapter had ended. He in no way wanted to live through another blow out fight of Ron and Hermione's, his sympathetic feelings for Hagrid were still leaving him wanting to run down to that hut right now and make sure his friend was okay, and as always that tournament and the next task hovered just on the edge of his mind, ready any moment to lash out and remind him of just how much worse his life could get if he got complacent. He just knew that if he had all his memories he could be telling his family right off the bat all the bad to come, save them the trouble and worry of trying to figure this out along with him, but wanting had never really gotten him anything, so he flipped to the next chapter with a heavy mind.
"My parents would be thrilled," James chuckled.
At Harry's confused look, James realized he'd never mentioned, "oh yeah, my parents invented that." All while mussing up his own hair for emphasis.
Harry wasn't sure if he was supposed to be laughing or not, but when Lily read his look correctly she properly explained, "I do believe it was his mother's way of trying to keep her husband, and wayward son at some restraint. It didn't work, but it is how they built most of their fortune, the rest hadn't been very well kept."
"Hope someone informed you at some point you inherited the irony," Remus tried to laugh at the unpleasant reminder, though hopefully at least the Ministry at some point would have told Harry of this.
"Can't really blame her for that though," Remus agreed.
"Better than how I was picturing it," Lily grimaced.
"I was hoping for a little more than just an argument," Sirius pouted, "those two really should have more than just a talk."
"I preferred it," Harry disagreed, "at least I didn't have to deal with the awkward conversation that would have been."
"Don't be such a romantic Harry," James smirked.
"Not like you had anything else to share about that night," Sirius snorted.
"Okay, I'll take that," James smiled, pleased at least one of Harry's friends had their same initial reaction. She'd been that way about Remus as well, but it was always good to know that extended.
Harry blinked in surprise as he tried to imagine that, clearly even the dragon for scale hadn't been accurate enough.
"While not entirely accurate," James sniffed.
"It's a close approximation," Remus muttered.
"With what?" Sirius raised a sharp brow, clearly ready to give a snappy reply right back.
"Don't know," Harry shrugged, "he never answered."
"Ah the righteous and bitter end," Lily agreed.
Harry groaned and muttered something under his breath, half wishing he could go back and dwell on that ball again.
"Was afraid of that," James muttered, shifting in his seat a bit at the approaching thought.
"You know doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is a sign of insanity," Remus pleasantly informed him.
Harry gave him a halfhearted glare, like he wanted to demand for some better ideas, but decided he'd only be more annoyed when he actually got a good answer.
"At least there's a different attempt," James smiled.
"I'm sure it made you feel better though," Sirius gave a smirk he was sure was helpful.
"Kind of hard to forget about such an odd moment honestly," Remus agreed.
"And I honestly can't blame you," Lily shook her head ruefully, "but that vindictive streak is only going to hurt you."
Harry huffed and muttered something indistinct.
"Yeah, my feelings," James nodded.
"Well now he's just rubbing it in," Sirius grumbled.
"You might benefit from that though," Remus tried to say without a smile, "an idea might strike you at any time if you keep chewing on it."
"Actually, I find that not thinking on something actually leads to better ideas when it pops back up later," James countered.
"I'm sure you two could discuss this all day," Lily cut them off.
"There's the bright side!" Sirius chirped.
"You said what now?" James demanded, trying to lean over Harry.
Harry nudged him back out of the way, still frowning down at the papers as a nasty feeling was starting to grow in him. Not towards this woman in particular...but something bad about this.
"Well I dislike her already, using my phrases," Sirius had his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the pages and missed the groans.
"Why?" Lily yelped first.
"If we knew, I'm sure you wouldn't be asking," Remus muttered, earning himself a scowl but allowing Harry to continue reading with increasing agitation.
"Indisposed," Sirius repeated the word slowly and carefully.
"You don't think this is still him being upset over Maxime?" James frowned. "I mean come on man, I'd be upset to, but this is kind of..." he trailed off with a sad shake of his head.
"Now who's the only person I can think of laughing at a time like this?" Sirius growled.
"Sometimes I hate it when I'm right," Sirius finished his rhetorical question.
"All of them," Lily couldn't help but groan, having grown quite tired of Harry categorizing all Slytherin's by Malfoy.
"Yep," Harry fully embraced that one this time, though explained, "but I get the feeling most of them were smiling not to see Hagrid for once. He wasn't exactly ah, a popular teacher." Harry's face showed quite clearly he didn't agree with that statement, he'd stick by Hagrid no matter his poor choice in lessons, but yes even some of the Gryffindors had looked rather relieved not to see him for once.
"What is going on?" Remus asked slowly.
"Oh but when I ask that, you mock me," Lily grumbled at his side.
"I imagine those in particular aren't used to our climates," Remus muttered to himself, as their winters tended to be a bit harsher than the greater France that wasn't in the mountains. Then again, maybe Beauxbatons was somewhere in the Alps or the likes, so he let it go.
Lily cooed, wriggling on the spot as she pictured the poor dear needing a cup of tea and a blanket that was across the room, too sick to go and fetch it. Hagrid was not known for falling ill, so if that was it then this must be bad. Hopefully Madam Pomfrey had been down to see him and Harry would go and confirm this.
"Well normally I'd agree," James said, his tone explaining the exact opposite.
"But as you consider Hagrid a friend, I think she's being to crisp," Sirius sniffed.
"Well that was just rude," Remus huffed.
"Darn," Sirius sighed, "I kind of wanted to see another professional try and handle those skrewts. Prove to the lot of them it's not all Hagrid's fault they're hard to manage."
"I think I'm relieved," Remus disagreed, "since we've well established Hagrid probably shouldn't even have those. Having someone like a substitute teacher finding out about them probably wouldn't be helping him feel better right now.
"It's not that hard if you know what you're doing," Remus began babbling at once. "What you want to do is get some raw, precious metal untampered-"
"Thank you, Professor Lupin," Sirius quickly cut him off before he launched into an hour's worth of lecture notes. "Either let the teacher talk or give Harry the highlights later when I can avoid you."
Remus stuck his tongue out at him for now.
"Sexist beasts," James pouted. "You know that can really hurt a guy's feelings."
Lily was giggling too hard into her hand to respond.
"I really don't think a skrewt could hurt him that badly," Sirius winced at the thought.
"Wish you were," James snapped back.
"Oh this can't be good," Lily groaned, as it had yet to mean anything remotely that this whole book when it came to a paper.
Harry was getting a nasty feeling rearing inside him in full agreement with her, now positive this bit of paper had everything to do with Hagrid.
"Oh no," Lily groaned at once with an already settling since of doom.
"I am completely sure she did," James growled right back, his eyes already narrowing with hate for this.
"How does she have the right to do this?" Harry demanded. "First me, now Hagrid, we haven't done a thing to her, why's she doing this?"
"You're asking something that does not have an easy answer," Remus sighed. "I have no idea how to explain her, or the people who read this garbage which only encourages her."
"I still say Harry and Hagrid should do something about her," Sirius sniffed.
James and Sirius already felt on edge, something spiteful ready to be shot out at a moment's notice as their minds flickered to one person in particular. If Skeeter was going to span this article over all of Dumbledore's appointments, this could end up even worse for more than Hagrid.
"Well that's a little harsh," Remus couldn't help a little smirk. "I'm sure he hasn't gotten that bad."
"Remember who you're hearing this from," Lily reminded, choosing not to point out that from what she'd heard so far, that had actually sounded fairly accurate.
Harry could sense someone wanting to cut him off again with a string of protests for that statement, but Harry was getting a little desperate now to see what Skeeter was really going to say about his friend so pressed on.
"I sincerely doubt he admitted that to you," Sirius grumbled under his breath.
"Mysterious influence?" Lily raised a sharp brow. "How about how knowledgeable he is over creatures? I say that's plenty influential."
Remus felt bad about it, but honestly he may have given credit to that one at least. No matter how much he liked Hagrid, he clearly wasn't particularly good at this field. That didn't mean he wouldn't be as outraged as anyone if he lost the job, Hagrid was working on it.
Harry muttered something foul under his breath about that.
"Flobberworms and hippogriffs are hardly horrific," James scoffed.
Lily's mind flickered to the idea of the skrewts, which she'd classify as fairly horrifying, but in no way wanted to give Rita a point so didn't acknowledge it.
"Only one kids gotten hurt and it was his bleeding fault, Hagrid hasn't maimed anyone!" Sirius snapped in outrage at that pure fiction.
As that was of course what Sirius had meant, Harry forced himself to keep reading slightly louder, even though he more than agreed with the others muttered insistence that was his idiotic fault.
"Did he really just say that?" James demanded, now looking faint at the levels of idiocy. "Anyone with a brain knows that flobberworms don't have teeth!"
"Whoever agreed to have this in the paper has got to know how much bull this is," Lily agreed.
"Oh Hagrid, you didn't," Remus groaned into his hands.
Lily was rubbing furiously at her forehead, her mind suddenly scrambling to try and think of a way to get him out of this mess as she offered, "well, it could be her word against his. Unless she was somehow recording the conversation verbally, she couldn't prove Hagrid said that. Honestly I don't really believe he did, she's dastardly enough to find out, well some other way."
"That's only mildly encouraging," James huffed.
Remus couldn't help but roll his eyes as he thought back to first hearing about these things, and not exactly pleased he'd been right in the end.
Lily opened her mouth to snap something back, considered it, then closed it and slumped back. Yeah, Hagrid should pay a fine or something for that one at least, but certainly not on account of someone as vile as Skeeter putting him in this light.
"When has he ever pretended otherwise?" James snapped at once. "Not that anyone should even bother asking in the first place, but even if you did he'd have the right not to answer like he does!"
"Why does she know that?" Harry's frown deepened. "I didn't even think Hagrid knew that, the way he was talking to Maxime about her."
"I, honestly have no clue," Lily's tone matched Harry's. "I suppose the Ministry might have a registry of all known giants left in Britain, whether they have locations for them or not. Skeeter could have gotten ahold of that and picked any name on the list."
"What she calls facts are so loose I'd believe that," Remus shook his head in disgust.
Harry fidgeted uneasily with the pages, thinking that this seemed truth enough with all Ron had told him as well. He thought back to how Rita had painted him in her previous articles, and his worry increased that now people would be thinking all this stuff of Hagrid as well.
"How on earth could she say such a thing?" Remus snarled in outrage. "Hagrid's one of the kindest people you could ever meet! I can only think of a handful of times I've ever even seen him shout at someone!"
"I don't care her reasoning's," Sirius snarled. "She's going to regret them."
Even though Harry had really only found out less than a week after this article, it didn't change his opinion that he wouldn't have cared no matter when he found out. Hagrid could have introduced himself as such and Harry would still look at him the same way, so Skeeter suggesting otherwise only managed to grind him up father.
"Dumbledore'll sooner turn on Hagrid than eat Fawkes," James snapped.
"And any students who complain to him otherwise can see the door," Sirius agreed.
"That's a very good question," Lily sniffed. "Hagrid's hardly spoken of this to anyone, we only know of one! Who's she been talking to to get ahold of all this?"
"You don't think Maxime did it?" Remus asked uneasily.
"I should bleeding hope not," James shot off at once. "She'd be under just as much bombardment as he is, seeing as she's the exact same thing!"
"Maybe she made a deal with Skeeter, Maxime would share all this if her name was forever left out of it," Sirius said in disgust. "Besides," he added in heavier tones, "I think that's just a little naive. It's really not that hard to work out if you do a little digging, most people just wouldn't bother to think on it. We know that Skeeter's not that kind though if she really wants to, my question is why Hagrid? What'd he do to deserve this?"
"You think it's just second hand so she could go after Dumbledore?" Remus offered. "He was mentioned just as often, his face his public enough Skeeter would always enjoy taking shots at him, and his staffing choices are a brilliant way to do so."
Harry sat there chewing on his tongue while all of this was going on around him. None of this was completely lining up with what he was feeling, something more directly involved in Rita's means to pull this off...but then he noticed that they'd mostly wound themselves down around him. Still angry as all get out and wanting to go give Skeeter a good shove up her nose with her own quill, they were now much more antsy to hear from Harry what the fallout of this would be for Hagrid, which Harry unhappily turned back to the book to oblige.
"Didn't exactly lock in on that part," Sirius rolled his eyes, "that was just Malfoy being Malfoy."
"Which I would hope anyone with a pair of eyes reading that tosh would make them understand the level of credibility it should be given," Lily stated.
"Which is none at all," James finished.
"I doubt he had the capacity to even come up with that on his own," Sirius snarked. "Malfoy probably spent hours coming up with that load!"
"What does he have against Hagrid?" Remus demanded of nothing. "He's been set on getting him fired from the beginning, and for what?"
"No, bleeding, clue," James got out through gritted teeth. Truth be told they were all well aware it was simply Malfoy seeing anyone who wasn't like him shouldn't even have the standard of living as more than a servant, but it didn't make it any less terrible to hear.
"They can all bite me!" Sirius barked.
"You'll be top of the list," James pleasantly informed.
They all startled just a bit, that paper having completely erased from their minds where Harry even was.
"It's good to know you don't get so easily distracted by shiny objects," Remus mumbled under his breath.
"Why hasn't Hermione cursed her yet?" Lily raged. "I've had almost as much reason to despise her as Malfoy lately!"
"It really does hurt that we seem to be the only ones upset on Hagrid's behalf," Harry agreed bitterly, thinking only of himself and his two friends right off the bat.
"That class has to show you all manner of creatures," Remus instantly corrected, trying to lighten his scowl like he'd correct any complaining student, "not just the pretty ones. It's not your job to like them, but to learn about them."
'Still think I could do without Hagrid introducing more of them,' Lily thought to herself.
"That's not the point!" James shot back. "Hagrid has just as much right to that job as anyone, and he's never done something so egregious to lose it. He knows his creatures, he's just at a learning curve!"
"Credit that you at least acknowledged that after the fact," Lily sighed, "since I doubt you, or even Ron, apologized."
Harry gave her a blank look, it hadn't even occurred to him.
"I can't even begin to pretend to care," Sirius grumped.
James' temper looked ready to fire again at Hermione agreeing with Parvati, but Remus quickly cut him off, "she doesn't know about the paper yet, in fact neither of those girls did." He also couldn't help but rebuke Lily, "Give Hermione a chance."
"Now that I find hard to believe," Sirius rolled his eyes.
"I'm not shocked," James shrugged, "she spends more of her time studying spells than creatures. Can't expect Hermione to know everything."
Lily's mouth flopped open at the idea while James began steaming at once. "That's the pettiest reason in existence for doing this!"
"Can't pretend I'm surprised if you're right though," Remus groaned as he fidgeted with the baby in his lap to keep him entertained during this unpleasant mood.
Something was going off in the back of Harry's head as he heard that, absolutely confident Hermione was right and waiting for Ron to agree he may have picked her out.
"I don't know," Sirius shook his head, "that garden was a slew of loose conversations that shouldn't have been overheard. I can imagine Skeeter getting away with some charms and blending in to even sneak up on a few."
"That's yet to stop her," James snorted.
"Perish the thought," Remus crinkled his nose in distaste of what all she could do with a thing like that. Even a cheap one could cause problems.
"That was an accident," Harry muttered to himself while he saw them all try to stifle just a bit of laughter for Hermione being right on that one.
"Well Ron is kind of right on that one," Sirius sighed. "Hagrid should have had that in his cabin or something, less chances of what happened, well, happening."
"Nobody should have been listening in in the first place," Lily shot back. "Anyone should be perfectly entitled to have a conversation wherever they want without being listened in on."
"Yeah, but the more private ones, I mean you really don't want to risk having those walked in on for any reason," James shook his head, as he thought back to all the times they'd practiced their animagus training in the Shrieking Shack for this very reason.*
"Oh, this can't be the reason Hagrid's hiding in his cabin!" Lily yelped. "I'm still convinced he must be sick on top of this, there's no way he'd..." but she trailed off miserably as they all realized that yes, Hagrid could very well be trying to hide himself away after seeing this. The idea of him losing his job because of something like this would be devastating to him.
"Is he not even going to try and fight back," Sirius pouted. "Keep going to classes until someone tries to forcefully remove him, that would be a sight."
"I'm worried that could only cause more harm than good," James sighed.
Remus was keeping himself quite for this bit at least, still hoping his name wouldn't come up amongst his friends for this paralleled problem.
Lily shook her head sadly, honestly feeling a bit on Hermione's side for that one. The only proper lesson Hagrid could really claim was the Hippogriffs, which had ended in disaster, and those fire-salamanders. Of course she'd have a temper if anyone tried to remove Hagrid from his position, but well, perhaps Hagrid should consider asking for some advice from Grubbly-Plank.
"That's the least she should have gotten," James muttered bitterly, "I'd have started shouting at her."
"I think I'm actually disappointed to have missed that evenings Divination lesson," Remus huffed under his breath, "they're usually good for a laugh."
"Not this time," Lily agreed just as quietly back.
"Maybe he's out on the grounds doing his Gamekeeping as well," Sirius offered without hope. "He doesn't always take Fang to do that."
"Why would he be doing that and not his teaching?" James sighed, "He's either sick or avoiding people, and this doesn't account for both."
"Well I would hope he wouldn't be ignoring them," Lily's lower lip was starting to jut out in the start of a pout. "He must know Harry doesn't care."
They were all starting to get very antsy now. Hogwarts without Hagrid just wasn't picturable.
"Of course he was!" Sirius broke and shouted that very loudly. "Because we can't just go one bleeding instance without hearing his opinion about it!"
Harry was rubbing absently at his ear and Remus was having to comfort a now fussy child at the outburst, but no one really looked angry, they were all at their breaking point between the stress of the Tournament and now this. Malfoy just kept managing to push every one of their buttons.
Harry looked as tense and ready to snap at a moment's notice right along with his godfather if this kept up.
"You know," Remus sighed, feeling tense and snappy at having to deal with a wailing child just days after a full moon managing to give him the beginnings of a headache, caught Harry's expression and scolded both him and Sirius. "Just once I'd like to see you lot walk away from a fight. Not everything needs to end in threats."
"Hark, look who's talking," Sirius began grinning at him at once.
Remus looked more than happy to back down, looking pleadingly at the book to keep going to avoid whatever tale Sirius was fixing to share, but it was Lily who said, "No, no, I want to hear this." While reaching out and taking the baby away. Remus now let his head hang as he realized he wasn't getting out of his mouth's timing and instead began fingering his wand like he wanted to sew his lips together in preparation.
Remus sighed and slouched back into the couch, while Sirius had already began without prompting. "Well the first thing that came to my mind was this day before a full moon. Despite everyone protesting however, Moony here decides he's going to go spend a normal day in the school like everyone else, exams were less than a week away and he refused to miss out on classes." Sirius paused to give Remus a winning smile, who was already groaning and grumbling under his breath how much he hated his friends for bringing this up.
"Well by the time potions rolled around," James picked up when Sirius hesitated to long, "we'd almost convinced him to skiv that class and take a nap, we were all going to honestly, since, well since the three of us never liked that class much." By this time, he'd almost grown used to that odd cold spot that lived in his chest for having to revert that story a bit, but for the first time it in no way dampened what he was telling.
Whether Remus noticed this, or just decided to get the worst over, he finished for them, "James got me to agree just as Snape was walking past, so of course the only thing he heard was me agreeing with Prongs it was a good idea to skip class and take a nap. He called me the Marauders yes man," he finished with an ugly scowl.
"Now Moony's a grumpy little thing on his best days before the full moon," Sirius chirped when his friend seemed to want to end the story there, but Harry should know all of these details. "So before either of us could even finish blinking, Remus spun on the spot and cursed him-"
"-In front of a crowded corridor-" James tacked in.
"-which caused old Snivellus tongue to get stuck to the roof of his mouth. It was nice having the silence for a few moments until Madam Pomfrey got him fixed." Sirius finished with the air of one finishing an epic tale.
Harry couldn't help it, and didn't really try to stop it, as he started laughing at the lovely mental image. Even Lily joined in after a moment, giggling like crazy, even if it was a tad righteous considering her ever growing hatred of him of late.
"You two paint me in such a bad light," Remus told them all tragically, though the lingering smile on his face showed no real way to contrast what his tone tried to show. "I was an angel, all the teachers said so."
"They just caught you the least," James waved him off with a crazy smile still in place, his face turning an ugly puce color for a moment before he told Harry, "ah, someone else took the fall for that, so Moony never got in trouble. Don't let him fool you though, he's just as bad as us."
Harry gave him an easy smile, it wasn't hard to guess who had been blamed judging by his dad's expression, but this had finally dragged on long enough he decided he wanted to get back to the book and see how this had played out.
"Are you really telling me you didn't retaliate to any of that stuff?" Lily demanded.
"I really tried not to if I could help it," Harry muttered with regret. He'd had enough practice by now trying to avoid all things Malfoy, but it wasn't always easy.
"Why wouldn't you?" James yelped.
"Why does Hermione seem to have a constant disagreement with you always going," Sirius rolled his eyes.
"I doubt the level of quiet actually helps anything," Remus snorted.
"I can't even blame you lying to her," Lily sighed, "she acts more like your mother than your friend most days."
"That's rich coming from you," Sirius told her, which she happily ignored.
"Oh please don't keep thinking like that though," Lily groaned reproachfully. "That deadline will creep right up on you."
Harry tried, and failed, to look innocent of this most likely happening, leaving them all just that little more stressed than they were before, and they hadn't even be aware that was possible.
"I don't see Hagrid in a Three Broomsticks mood," James disagreed.
"Maybe more like his own private storage in his hut," Sirius sighed.
"Is he mad?" Remus yelped, goosebumps erupting on his skin at the thought.
"He did say it was colder where he came from," Sirius shrugged without remorse. "If he thinks he can handle it without freezing to death, that's his problem."
"You're just so caring of everyone," Lily tisked at him.
Harry hardly noticed them, his mind puzzling why on earth he should think it a good idea to maybe pay more attention to that lake...
"He's mad!" James balked at the idea.
Sirius was shaking himself vigorously at the idea as well, but was aware enough to smirk at the mimicking pair.
"Warm is putting it strongly," Lily shivered, wrapping her baby's blanket just a smidge tighter around him.
Causing a collective snort of laughter from all even if it was an empty threat.
"Not what I'd go bragging to him about," Remus shook his head, now wondering if Hermione was either trying to, poorly, make him jealous, or actually being as ignorant as Ron about what the two of them were really dancing about.
"Now what on earth would have you making that connection?" Sirius asked redundantly.
"He's not exactly hard to miss, even bending over something," James shook his head. "I'm sure a quick sweep would have done the job."
Harry didn't respond, he'd still been holding out hope that his eyes had been deceiving him.
"I'm surprised you haven't at least tried putting water into the egg or something," Remus tried to offer when he saw how gloomy they all were getting, and at least the egg was a better problem to focus on than Hagrid. "Cedric's tip was odd, but soap and water were clearly heavy hints."
"And give him the satisfaction that he'd both asked out Harry's date, and helped Harry with this," Sirius shot back with a frown.
"Don't curse your nose to spite your face," Lily shrugged, on Remus with that one.
Harry muttered something indistinct about how unhelpful this all was.
"I suppose it is odd to see him out of his office so much," James arched a brow, "tournament aside."
"He's allowed to have social visits, not all Ministry employees are Percy's," Remus said.
"That's not a social visit," Sirius pointed out.
"Well it could be," Lily backed Remus up just for the joy of annoying the other two. "He could have goblin friends." She knew as well as them that goblins didn't have wizard friends, the two rarely interacted outside of contracts and deals, so this was indeed an odd sight.
"I remember all that," Sirius nodded along. "You think he ever got his money back from whoever stole it?"
"If not, maybe that's what he's talking to them about," Remus cocked his head to the side. "Explaining what happened. Maybe they have some way to track down who robbed him."
"Wouldn't surprise me," James shrugged, "even if they don't work for Gringotts, goblins have this eerie way of tracking down gold."
Whatever curiosity they held for his situation though vanished in that instant. They felt bad for his troubles, but his continuing to chat up Harry like this still managed to rankle them every time.
"Really? Been hoping the exact opposite," Sirius grumbled, wondering when he'd grown to dislike the mention of both the Quidditch stars running around Hogwarts.
"What's he up to now?" James demanded, thinking that if he had to listen to anyone else giving Harry paternal advice lately he'd really lose his temper.
"It's nice of him to at least start polite," Lily rolled her eyes.
"What would he be nervous about them for?" Remus asked in surprise. "He's supposed to be asking for their help?"
"Search me," Lily shrugged.
"Okay, then you should have brought a translator," Sirius rolled his eyes at the absurdities this guy kept pretending was explaining.
Harry only had a moment for his gut to wrench, informing him that was a flat out lie, before a quick shot of pain in his head reminded him quickly to let it go.
"Why would goblins be looking for him?" Remus questioned with a deep frown.
Lily tried to work out, "I guess I can kind of see how they'd be looking for the Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation, there are foreign goblins after all, but what are they asking Bagman for? They should be up at the Ministry asking all of this."
"Got me," James grumbled, more than happy to move this along.
"That's not even that surprising," Sirius snorted, "I don't think I'd call them friends."
"Wait, what?" All five of them yelped in surprise. Even Harry, who knew the least about Crouch, found this mind boggling.
"Did he die?" Lily managed to splutter out first. "That is the only explanation I can fathom for this."
"Bagman wouldn't be talking like this if so," Remus countered, his mind spinning to try and think about this mess.
"What is with the Ministry lately?" Sirius scathed. "Can't seem to find one department that hasn't wanted to make me burn the building down lately."
"At least make sure Mr. Weasley's not there," Harry shrugged much to Sirius' amusement and agreement.
"I'm really starting to think that you might be onto it Lily," James couldn't help but frown. "Unless Crouch has had something really big happen to him, this is the only way to explain what's up with the Crouch I know." It wasn't a particularly pleasant thought for any, but nobody argued it.
"And there was a time I praised that journalism and the Ministry never mixed," Lily snorted, Merlin knew Bagman was right in that instance.
"Of course," Remus rolled his eyes, "like of course you should have months ago."
They were all feeling rather fidgety at the reminder that a body would never be found.
Sirius was starting to chew on his own tongue to convince himself not to start the speilge of diatribe he wanted to launch because of what that vile rat had done.
"At least that's a kind explanation," James hissed.
"Agreed," Lily couldn't help but huff, "quit being a walking distraction every time you appear."
"Oh, this again," Sirius' brows shot up in surprise.
"I can't pretend I don't find it sweet he's helping you," Lily frowned, "but I still can't figure out why?"
"Playing favoritism to the Boy Who Lived?" Harry offered bitterly, though somehow even saying it out loud didn't feel right.
"Can't fault you for lying to him though," James smirked.
"Thank you for the reminder," Remus said stiffly.
"Where was this attitude at the ball?" James snapped, "You seemed to find it plenty of fun then."
"Well he is technically cheating doing this," Sirius shrugged, "but he couldn't have found a better place to do it."
"Why are you turning him down?" Lily asked in surprise. Honestly she wouldn't even blame him if he did accept the help, Harry shouldn't have been in this stupid tournament anyways, so anything and anyone he could use to survive it wouldn't be pestered by her.
"I saw him as trying to cheat too much, it just felt different than anything before," Harry shrugged, trying to understand this feeling he had about the old Quidditch player who'd been nothing but kind to him.
"Yeah, that's a good idea," Remus agreed, his pessimistic mind starting to wonder if this was some part of the tournament and Harry was being set up.
"Probably lying," Remus offered, then explained what he was thinking.
"Wouldn't put it past them," James agreed at once, "that's pretty tricky."
"I've never heard of anything like that in the previous tournaments," Lily cocked her head to the side as she thought it through.
"Maybe no one's ever fallen for it, so no one's ever recorded it," Sirius smirked.
"Glad I'm above him on the list," Sirius sniffed.
"Oh good," James brightened. "This always turns out fun when they're around."
"Aww, why not," Remus pouted. "I really wish we'd get to hear more about them and their joke shop already."
"He must be a really good actor," Lily shook her head at him, agreeing with the boys he was better spending his time helping out the twins than Harry.
"I thought he was trying to explain to them about Crouch?" James did a double take. "What's he ditching them for?" Looking quite as affronted as those goblins probably did.
"That man seems to have no mind," Sirius rolled his eyes, wondering if one to many bludgers had erased his memory of everything lately.
"You keep telling yourself that Harry," Remus snorted, "I'm sure saying it will get the job done."
Harry stuck his tongue out at him.
"I still think our ideas better," Sirius said with just a tad of pompousness in his voice no one could miss.
"It was my idea," Remus tried to correct him with a fond smile.
"Making it our idea by default," Sirius countered at once. "You know you get your best ideas just by being around us."
"Why do we put up with him again?" Lily asked the baby in her lap, who merely babbled as answer.
"Sounds like he doesn't need it on this task," James quietly muttered to himself.
Five collective snorts of laughter were given for Ron's wit, or at least what they hoped was a joke.
"He'd be the youngest ever," Lily couldn't help but point out, "it's one step closer to what he's really aiming for."
"Don't encourage him," James scolded.
"Why do you have names for all of these looks?" Sirius demanded between cackles. "How often do you get them?"
"I made a chart once," Harry told him with an innocent enough smirk, "but she burned it and made me swear not to say."
"Well she's not here now," James pleaded.
Harry shook his head adamantly though, insisting "oh no, I'm not doing anything to get on Hermione's bad side."
"Also true," Lily agreed, "I guess the two departments might be delegating, with someone so young at the helm or-"
"Lily," James cut off his wife, "I have begged you not to try and get into office politics with me unless it's Harry's nap time."
Remus gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, he'd received that comment a few times in his life as well.
"He is not the only interpreter in that Ministry," Sirius adamantly shook his head, "I cannot be wrong about that."
"While a little on the nose," Remus got out through some chortling.
"Credit to Ron for thinking of them," James finished easily.
"Did she really just ask that with a straight face?" Lily demanded, "I've never met anyone besides her who would answer other than no."
"You know its true when Lily agrees with us," Sirius nodded along.
"That about covers the whole school's answer right there," James snorted.
"I can imagine Ron said that often when he realized he got her into a tangent," Remus sighed, now watching Sirius and Lily uneasily as he hoped those two fighting wouldn't cause another eruption in here.
"That is much more cause for uh-oh," Lily puffed up at once, several things on the tip of her tongue she couldn't wait to throw at that person for doing this to first her son, then Hagrid!
"You are much kinder than any of us," James snarled, "I'd have booby trapped her chair before she even knew which one she'd be picking."
"I'd pay money to see it," Lily happily agreed.
"Ruined somebody else's life already has she?" Sirius got out through gritted teeth.
"I cannot think of a single reason," Remus stated with transparent sarcasm.
"Waiting for you to ask obviously," Sirius sneered.
"Hark, there's some blessed irony, watching her get lied to," Lil scathed. Admittedly she didn't particularly like Bagman, but he was much lower on her list than Skeeter.
"She comes up with those titles before she even-" James sputtered off when he realized how absurd it was to be criticizing this excuse for a writer.
"Oh Harry," Lily groaned. "Are you trying to start trouble now?"
"He's a bit of a late bloomer," Sirius couldn't help but grin, "but I'm willing to encourage this behavior, especially towards people like her."
"I wasn't going to be able to leave without saying something to her for what she did to Hagrid," Harry snapped at no one in here.
"She, cannot, actually be, that, oblivious," Remus gaped at the idea that she was still putting on pleasantries around him!
"Never get tired of your word choices," James praised.
"Because she got off topic of you for five seconds and needed someone else to harass," Remus sneered.
"Not at the expense of a good man's job," Lily spat back.
"You know it's got to be dramatic for her not to be stepping in," Sirius shook his head.
"No, I mean it," Remus insisted like he was sure he was talking to a dummy. "She cannot actually think he'd still give her a breadcrumb, let alone-"
"She's either the most oblivious person in the world," Sirius shook his head in disgust.
"Or the most heartless for it not even registering," James finished.
"I choose the second," Lily sniffed.
James nearly snapped at that one. He was sick and tired of every single male being compared to him as of late when Harry had never even met him! Glory his son was technically the same age as him now meeting him for the first time! Sirius he'd hold back, Bagman was inconsequential and more mildly annoying, but Hagrid actually had been there for some of Harry's most important firsts! Hogwarts letter, Diagon Alley, even his first Quidditch game, and it wasn't bleeding fair. The only thing actually stopping him was that it wasn't Harry who'd thought it, just Skeeter spurting off some more. Still, it wasn't making him feel much better when he glanced at Harry and saw that he wasn't exactly looking to deny the comparison, he was too busy still glaring at nothing that he wished was Skeeter herself.
"There's a pleasant thought," Sirius chuckled low in his throat, trying to help his best mate move past these constant pangs that must be breaking his heart. James didn't seem to hear him.
"Silly little girl?" Lily raised an imperious brow. "She has no idea who she's talking to."
"I can't wait for her to find out," Sirius said with a wolfish grin.
"Not surprised," Remus scoffed, "of course she'd treat Hermione like dirt, she's not a name."
"Then why don't you publish your article and be done with it," James rolled his eyes, clearly thinking he was calling her bluff.
"What on earth is it even recording?" Lily demanded of nothing.
"Nothing good," Remus shook his head, thinking Hermione had just picked quite a fight.
"I really can't see Skeeter writing anything Hermione would care about," James sneered. "She's proven at every turn she doesn't let other people's mocking get to her."
"The only times she's snapped is when someone insulted her intelligence, or friends," Sirius nodded along, that predatory smile still dominant. "Skeeter's done both. Can't wait to see what Hermione pays her back with."
"I will genuinely pay Hermione to assist with this in any and all ways," Remus cackled at the promise of this.
"Another reason you should have stuck around," Lily snarked at him under her breath. He gave her a hurt look for the shot, but wasn't going to start that argument again.
"There's a good idea," Sirius snapped his fingers with pleasure. "Get me involved, I need something to do with my free time, this will bring back some good memories."
"As if you aren't involved in enough," Lily scolded him at once.
"I thank you for that treasured memory," James beamed. They were all still angry at Rita of course, but Hermione's reaction was pure gold to anything they could have done, or in this case were incapable of doing, so cheering her on felt best.
"Couldn't have put it better myself," Lily's smile stretched so wide, she couldn't have been prouder.
"That'll give him a start," Sirius stated ruefully, "he might even come bursting out thinking you're in trouble with that."
"Whatever gets him out," Harry shrugged without remorse.
Harry read that with such an astounded look that quickly flushed in embarrassment, that alone would have caused their laughter, but the thought of the headmaster getting the pleasure of hearing all of that through Hermione's screeches had already caused them all to burst. It only subsided as quick as it did, and Harry quickly kept going, so they could hear the rest of this.
"Well it sort of was, there for a moment," James shook his head.
"So glad he could take a hint," Remus got out around his chuckles.
"Well it'd be rather embarrassing to turn back now," Lily smirked.
"Actually I thought it always looked like that," Sirius snorted.
"Shut it Padfoot," James quickly shushed.
Harry couldn't stop his mind floundering for a moment as he really wanted to ask about this display of magic creating all of that into existence, but then he remembered his first trip to the kitchens and how the house-elves had a set up just like this, and Dumbledore had probably summoned that in his own way.
"I'm sure Trelawney heard what she was saying," Remus gave a toothy grin.
"Well that's going a bit far," Lily shook her head fondly, "more like dent it for now."
"Though I'm sure if he hadn't let them in, it could have escalated," James sighed with longing at how that could have turned out.
"I hardly find that the foulest insult you could have used," Sirius snorted.
"Oh I missed this," Remus gave a breathy laugh and tried to speak all at once. None of them had even begun to forget what he'd done to Sirius, and possibly even Remus and Harry, but at least there was still the man sitting there. The true leader of the Order, the man who would stick by his friend's side no matter what and offer whatever comfort he could. He may have abandoned Sirius when he needed him most, but even now he was slightly making up for that as far as Sirius was concerned by sticking with Hagrid, and clearly still Remus on some level.
"Nice catch," James winked at Harry.
That still managed to increase their smiles to another degree. Hagrid had been gamekeeper for countless generations, and an apprentice to the job even before that. He'd never harmed a soul and in fact had been an honest comfort to anyone and everyone with just the tiniest offer. This in fact managed to give Sirius and James a conspiratorial look at each other, now fully intending to throw in Remus' face later when they had a better chance that the same would be spoken true of him if it had ever gone this far, not that Remus had stuck around to find out.
Lily's heart did manage a painful twang though, as she realized that she wasn't one of those to have sent such a thing, it was never a pleasant reminder.
"He can't honestly expect universal popularity?" Sirius raised a staunchy brow, his tone carrying as much, "and even if he didn't have that much support, it should be the real one's who matter like Harry."
"Um, thanks," Harry muttered, feeling bashful at the unexpected praise and quickly reading to cover it.
Lily gave a soft sigh and yet couldn't stop a smile. Happy as she was to see Dumbledore acting the way she'd always known him to again, even his wisdom filled words now weren't making his past crimes against her son feel much better.
"That would have been a sight," James rolled his eyes.
"Best point you could have made," Lily griped.
"Where have I heard that name before?" James asked with his head cocked to the side.
"Err, isn't that the guy from the Hog's Head?" Sirius asked as he raked his brain.
"That smelly old guy?" Remus scoffed, "probably a name coincidence, there's no way it's the same person."
Harry spluttered in shock at that, something very hard trying to smack his memory into thinking of something, but the others thought it was suppressed laughter at such a tale, so Harry was instantly distracted by Remus saying, "before our time, only ever heard rumors about that."
"I didn't even know Dumbledore had a brother," Lily said in surprise, then she went cross eyed as she realized, "err, Albus, because his brother would be called that too, oh you know what I meant."
Harry felt disappointed that they clearly didn't know more about Dumbledore's brother, but didn't press them for more.
This time Harry couldn't help but laugh a small bit along with the others, Harry still eagerly pushing for any details, "so you've never heard anything about Dumbledore's siblings?"
"We've only heard gossip about a brother," James said in surprise, "think my parents mentioned it once as a joke, I wasn't even sure that was true. I doubt he has even more."
Harry slumped back in disappointment, his mind clearly unwilling to let this one go though. Still, the headache won in the end and he forced himself to keep going.
"Oh Merlin, he actually tried to quit," Sirius pouted.
"Thank goodness Dumbledore doesn't let all of the best teachers walk out," James said with an obvious look at his favorite teacher, who was clearly ignoring both his friends.
"And there's Ron keeping us on point with cake," Remus snorted to try and bring his own amusement up.
Lily couldn't help but coo with sadness for the poor dear, but at least he was finally starting to look up.
"Merlin, can you imagine sharing a dorm with him," Sirius shook his head. "He'd take up all the beds."
"You know what house he was in?" Harry asked curiously.
"Gryffindor," Remus shrugged, "about the only thing he'd ever share about his time at Hogwarts."
"If one of your parents is magic, then you are going to be a wizard," Lily said stiffly. "It is only in extremely rare cases otherwise. I wish wizards would understand that."
"Good luck getting it through so many thick skulls," James grumbled.
Lily's frostiness at persons unknown melted at once as she wanted to go right back to comforting Hagrid for that travesty.
Sirius felt himself give a horrible little twitch, now a little bug forever going off in the back of his mind why he'd been left out of that when it seemed to be true for every other person, bloody hell the man trusted a Death Eater more than him apparently.
Remus couldn't help but flush happily as he smiled at the reminder, his mind still boggled some days even when after he'd spent seven years there that he'd gotten that experience.
"Think he took Maxime to heart," Lily sighed in sympathy, still hoping there was someone else out there for Hagrid rather than that stuck up old bird.
"Hagrid just has no filter," James chuckled lightly. "If those kids didn't know what he was talking about, it wouldn't exactly be hard to guess from all that."
"Yet we still love him all the more for it," Sirius chirped.
"That is the best comparison I've ever heard," Remus told him after a bit more laughter.
"He's actually getting worse with years," Lily giggled, "at least by now he should have cut himself off and corrected that he shouldn't have told you that."
Harry's smile was a bit more forced now as yes, he did remember all of that quite well, but he'd never been happier to be wrong."Still don't know if I'd go so far as praising him for that," James muttered to himself, now wanting to curse Skeeter for a whole other reason. She just had to put that poisonous little thought in his head, now he was even feeling resentful of Hagrid!
Sirius worked furiously for a moment before actually putting on a fair impersonation of Hagrid's West Country accent, "well if he can be me, then I can be him."
Everyone was plainly distracted from whatever they'd been thinking to either groan at him, or in Harry's case to laugh, which had been the whole point so Sirius smiled, more than pleased with himself.
"Err, I'm fairly confident I don't know any of the other champions blood status," Harry said in surprise.
"It's the principle Hagrid's going for," Remus shrugged, "you are an underdog of sorts being the youngest."
"Actually Fleur would make his impact better," Sirius couldn't help a little smirk, "being part human and all with her veela status."
"I like Harry better, so let's stick with him," Lily chuckled.
"Worthwhile lie," James beamed anew, he really couldn't stay mad at Hagrid after such a sweet little speech.
...okay, maybe he could a little, but at least his tick of annoyance went unnoticed.
"Was wondering when you'd break on that," Lily chuckled, giving her baby's nose a friendly little tweak as Harry got up to hand the book to Remus.
*maana999 offered the question of where that was being taken place if not the Room of Requirements, this had always been my running idea.