A lot more wine had been drunk, a lot more. They had gotten through Lexi and Sherlock retelling of the Bloody Guardsman case and their misadventures of the Stag Night and finally had gotten through their explanation of the Mayfly Man. It was, all in all, the longest best man speech Joanna had ever heard and while it was touch and endearing she was frankly quite bored and wanted nothing more than to get up from her seat, go over to her own fiancée, and snog him senseless in front of his parents and the entire reception room. Maybe she should lay off the wine a tad bit. She set her glass down on the table and picked up her water instead and Anthea expertly moved her wine glass out of her reach. Joanna nodded at her gratefully and Anthea smiled knowingly. It was just one of those days, and one of those days when she was separated by a room full of people from Mycroft which wasn't making anything better. She looked over at him and saw that he was suffering in much the same way as he looked bored and tortured and about ready to jump out of his seat. He huffed as she watched him and she smiled at him endearingly and blew him a kiss which he sat up a little straighter afterwards. Joanna lolled her head back to the side and sipped her water as she continued to listen to Sherlock go on about the Mayfly Man.
"Married. Obvious, really. Our Mayfly Man was trying to escape the suffocating chains of domesticity..." Sherlock said and Lexi snorted slightly as John grimaced and shook his head while Mary widened her eyes briefly and then smiled at him. "...and instead of endless nights in watching the telly or going to barbecues with awful dreadful boring people he couldn't stand, he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise ...," Sherlock said before he finally took a breath, and smiled slightly "... to play the field. He was ...," Sherlock continued before he stopped when he realized that he had lost his audience again. The guests looked silently back at him and he looked down to their right to see John looking back at him straight-faced and Mary wrinkling her nose and shaking her head slightly.
"Sweetie, rethink that a bit before you speak again," Lexi told him before she reached up on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Sometimes he got just a little bit carried away, a lot carried away in this case if the almost hour long speech was anything to go by.
"Lexi's right as always. On second thoughts I probably should have told you about the Elephant in the Room. However, it does help to further illustrate how invaluable John is to me. I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. I used to think that's what made me special – quite frankly, I still do. Lexi however ends up doing both. She can read a crime scene and people far better than the two of us somehow. But a word to the wise, should any of you require the services of the three of us, Lexi and I will solve your murder, but it takes John Watson and Lexi to save your life. Trust me on that – I should know. They've saved mine so many times, and in so many ways. Lexi has from the very beginning done a bit of both and without her I think John and I would have failed in many of our endeavours," Sherlock said and John nodded in agreement. "She's certainly saved John and I enough times," Sherlock said before he held up his phone. "This blog is the story of three friends and their frankly ridiculous adventures ...," Sherlock said and he smiled as Lexi looked at him and John fondly and the guests all chuckled. "...of murder, mystery and mayhem," Sherlock continued before he looked down at Lexi and chuckled. "There's even lots of ridiculous moments when Lexi used her shoes as projectiles or fought Chinese assassins," Sherlock said and the rest of the guests chuckled as Lexi smacked him on the arm and smiled, laughing slightly as he kissed the top of her head. "But from now on, there's a new story – a bigger adventure," Sherlock said and he looked down at Lexi. "And one that I am glad to say that I am able to embark upon as well," Sherlock continued before they both looked down at the other newlyweds who smiled happily up at them. "Ladies and gentlemen, pray charge your glasses and be upstanding," Sherlock told the guests as Sherlock and Lexi picked up their glasses and Joanna picked hers up as well, a proud smile on her face for the four of them as she stood up with the other guests while the photographer walked forward with his camera. "Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Hamish Watson," Sherlock said, raising his glass and John sighed a little, while Mary giggled. Lexi looked at John and shook her head with a fond smile on her face. "And as hardly anyone knew of mine and Lexi's nuptials today, the two reasons why every single one of us is ...," Sherlock said before he stopped, freezing in place and staring blindly towards the guests. Lexi stopped and blinked slowly as Joanna frowned in confusion, watching the both of them. She looked across to Mycroft for an explanation and he gave her a warning look. Something was about to happen. The photographer snapped several photos of Sherlock and Lexi, but the popping flashbulb didn't make either of them react. Sherlock and Lexi fingers suddenly loosened slightly in surprise and their champagne glasses slipped out of their fingers and crashed to the floor while all the while Joanna could tell that behind their eyes something was going on in those brains of theirs. In the span of only several microseconds Joanna saw them work something out. Of course she never was truly surprised as she had seen Lexi work extremely quickly under pressure before, much in the same manner of how she could figure out an attack strategy in under a second when under fire. "... here today," Sherlock said aloud at the reception as our champagne glasses smashed on the floor at our feet and we looked down at them. "Ooh, sorry. We ...," Sherlock said as he suddenly raised his head and Lexi looked up and turned to look at him.
"Assumer la position," [Assume the position] Lexi whispered to Sherlock in French and Joanna caught that and closed her eyes, cursing under her breath as Sherlock nodded at her slightly before he looked down at the floor, making an exasperated noise and clearing his throat. The Master of Ceremonies/Head Waiter hurried over to them as Joanna shot a look over to Mycroft to let him know that they were headed into DEFCON one. She already had planned for several possible scenarios that might play out at this wedding because she knew it could never be just a normal day. Also she had to account for the fact that Mycroft was going to be there and Sherlock and Lexi and the three of them had enough death threats put together as it was.
"Another glass, sir, ma'am?" The Master of Ceremonies asked the newly married detectives and Lexi nodded at him.
"Thank you, yes. Thank you, yes," Sherlock told him as he took one of the glasses from him and Lexi squeezed his hand to calm him down.
"Thanks," Lexi told him as she took her own glass and they looked out at the guests. Joanna watched as they got that look in their eyes again as they looked over at Mycroft. Sherlock and Lexi looked around suddenly, thinking frantically by their expressions. Lexi squeezed Sherlock's hand again and Sherlock's eyes flickered back and forth between unfocused and focused as Joanna watched them closely. All of a suddenly Lexi closed her eyes as Sherlock got a spaced out expression while staring over at his brother. Mrs. Hudson and Greg looked a little anxious as they held their glasses up and Greg looked at Mrs. H and frowned before he looked across at Joanna questioningly. She shook her head at him slightly still figuring out what was going on for herself.
"Ah, yes. Raising glasses and standing up. Very good. Thank you," Sherlock said aloud suddenly, shaking his head a little as if clearing his head and Joanna twitched her fingers, reaching slightly for her thigh which currently had her gun strapped to it. The muscle in her eyebrow twitched and she caught Mycroft's eye and he held his hand out towards her and motioned for her to calm down. She nodded at him, but continued to stay on edge, waiting for something to happen. Mycroft sent Sherlock and Lexi a stern look and Lexi raised her eyebrow at him while Sherlock raised both hands and gestured downwards. "And down again," Sherlock told everyone and Lexi nodded at him as he sought for her approval. Confused, the guests started to sit down, murmuring amongst themselves and Joanna sat down again so as not to look odd, her back rigid however as she scanned the room with one eyebrow raised, watching all of the guests closely. Sherlock looked at them all in the same manner for a moment, then put his glass down on the table and straightened up as Lexi put her glass down beside his and he tightened his grip around her waist. "Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you not to milk a good speech – get off early, leave 'em laughing. Wise advice I'll certainly try to bear in mind. But for now ...," Sherlock said and he kissed Lexi's head before he let go of her waist and put one hand on the table and quickly jumped over to the other side. The guests gasped in surprise as Joanna sighed in exasperation. Here we bloody go. "...part two." Sherlock finished before he turned back to Lexi.
"My favourite part of this entire speech. Yup, one more coming over," Lexi said and the guests gasped again as she pole vaulted herself over the table much like he had only she was far more impressive as she was in a dress and heels. Sherlock steadied Lexi on the other side and took her hand in his before they started to walk into the central aisle between the tables.
"Part two is more action-based. We're gonna ... walk around, shake things up a bit," Sherlock told everyone as he kept Lexi close to him.
"Like we did in Madrid. Of course that ended a bit badly," Lexi remarked and Sherlock smirked at her as they looked at each person in the room. Joanna closed her eyes and watched the room carefully, looking for any guest who was acting in anyway odd.
"Who'd go to a wedding? That's the question. Who would bother to go to any lengths to get themselves to a wedding?" Sherlock asked everyone as he and Lexi made it two thirds of the way along the room and then turned around. "Well, everyone," Sherlock said and he clapped his hands once as Lexi smirked at him.
"Obviously. Especially John and Mary's wedding," Lexi said and Sherlock kissed the side of her head before he slipped his arm around her waist again.
"Weddings are great! Love a wedding," Sherlock said and Lexi giggled slightly as she leaned on him.
"So do I. Love them in fact husband. Weddings are so brilliant we got married twice," Lexi said and a few people who weren't privy to that information gasped in shock. "Nice little ceremony, just the two of us the first time but this one was a lot better. Our friends and family here and John, can't get married without John," She said as Mary leaned in towards the aforementioned army doctor.
"What are they doing?" Mary asked John quietly so as not to alarm the other guests. Lexi closed her eyes briefly as Joanna looked over at the army doctor and his wife and gave John and pointed look which the army doctor still wasn't skilled enough to pick up on. "Something's wrong. Lexi's calculating," John said, watching Sherlock and Lexi in concern and Lexi looked back at him over her shoulder and tried to send him a reassuring look.
"And John's great, too! Haven't said that enough. Barely scratched the surface. I could go on all night about the depth and complexity of his ... jumpers ...," Sherlock said pointing towards him as he and Lexi headed back along the room.
"I love to steal them…course it's a bit more difficult now. Have to break into his house which is just tedious though not entirely impossible. You might want to look into getting different locks," Lexi told Mary and John and John closed his eyes in disbelief while Sherlock let go of her after kissing the side of her head. Out on the floor Sherlock started pacing and turning back and forth, peering at each of the male guests. Joanna picked up on it and noticed that it was only the male guests that Sherlock and Lexi were studying. She started scanning each of them while beside them she started seeing their information come up that she had hacked and found out about each of them.
"... and he can cook. Does ... a ... thing ... thing with peas ...," Sherlock said and Joanna could see that he was stalling for time so that he and Lexi could figure it out. John and Mary exchanged a puzzled glance as Sherlock continued to pace and look closely at the guests. "...once. Might not be peas. Might not be him. No, it was Lexi. She always cooks. Was it peas? No, potatoes, it was potatoes. But he's got a great singing voice ... or somebody does. No, that's Lexi again. She's an excellent singer. Should definitely have her sing sometime. MMM, no, scratch that," Sherlock said and he sighed in frustration and clenched his teeth as he stopped beside Lexi. "Ahh, too many, too many, too many, too many!" Sherlock said and he grimaced angrily as Joanna watched him and Lexi exchange a few glance before Lexi cupped Sherlock's face in her hands and turned him to look at her. He returned with a look of his own and Lexi kissed his forehead before pulling back and making him look right at her, giving him a firm look before she slid her hands down his arms and grasped his hands in hers. He nodded once and then slipped his arms around her waist. He nodded and took a deep breath.
"Sorry. Too many jokes about John! Now, er ...," Sherlock said as Joanna watched them and saw that Sherlock was slightly losing it. She threw a concerned look over to Mycroft and he nodded at her, noticing that something was seriously too. "Speech!" Sherlock announced in the reception room and he pointed towards the top table, grinning round at the guests. "Speech," Sherlock repeated and he clapped his hands together again. "Let's talk about ...," Sherlock said as he and Lexi turned and looked at each other.
"...murder," Sherlock and Lexi said in unison in the reception room and John sighed and lowered his head, while Mary frowned. Joanna in took a deep breath and her hand immediately went to her second gun which was taped up under the table. She had planted it there earlier in case anything happened at the reception and she had her second one on her, not in the easiest of access, but on her in case she had needed it at the ceremony.
"Sorry, did we say 'murder'? We meant to say 'marriage' – but, you know, they're quite similar procedures when you think about it. The participants tend to know each other, and it's over when one of them's dead," Sherlock said and he emphatically sounded the'd' at the end of the word. Again John sighed and lowered his head. "In fairness, murder is a lot quicker, though," Sherlock said and Lexi giggled at that and kissed the side of his mouth. "Though I find that I quite like marriage," Sherlock told the guests and he kissed the side of Lexi's head as he pulled her to his side tightly. "Janine!" Sherlock said suddenly and she looks up at the detectives a little wide-eyed.
"Yes you, hello. It's nice to have someone else who is Irish at this wedding," Lexi told Janine and she grinned at her as Sherlock rolled his eyes. Lexi snorted in amusement and kissed his cheek.
"What about this one?" Sherlock asked Janine as the two detectives walked over to stand behind one of the male guests. "Acceptably hot?" Sherlock asked her and he grinned at her then looked at the woman sitting beside the man. "More importantly, his girlfriend's wearing brand-new uncomfortable underwear ...," Sherlock said and Lexi looked over the top part of the woman's dress, where the seam of her ill-fitting bra, or whatever she was wearing underneath, was visible through the material; then Lexi looked across to a thread on the man's jacket "...and hasn't bothered to pick this thread off the top of his jacket ...," Sherlock continued as Lexi looked at the smudge on the man's neck "...or point out the grease smudge on the back of his neck. Currently, he's going home alone," Sherlock said as Sherlock slipped Lexi's mobile into her hand and him and her both rapidly typed onto their phones with their thumbs behind their backs. "Also, he's a comics and sci-fi geek. They're always tremendously grateful – really put the hours in," Sherlock chuckled, causing enough of a distraction that no one even noticed when Mycroft got up and managed to get Mummy and Papa Holmes out of the hall like Lexi asked him too. He threw a look over at Joanna before he left the room and she nodded at him to let him know that she had control of the room and nothing was going to happen with him gone. She wanted Mummy and Papa Holmes out of the direct line of fire in case something was about to happen as the rest of the guest could take action, but it was three less people she had to worry about right now. Now it was only Sherlock, Lexi, John, Mary, and Anthea. "Geoff, the gents," Sherlock said as he and Lexi both looked across to Greg and Sherlock jerked his head towards the door. "The loos, now, please."
"It's Greg," Lestrade corrected him irritatedly.
"The loos, please," Sherlock told him again and Lexi gave Greg a very pointed look and nudged her head towards the door as Greg's phone beeped two text alerts.
"Why?" Lestrade asked as he reached into his pocket.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's your turn," Sherlock told him and he jerked his head towards the door again, grimacing. Greg looked down at his phone before changing his tune and he looked over at Joanna who sent him a pointed look and nodded him. She had already filled him in on her plan of what was to happen if they had to lock the place down. First he did that, then he was to see to Mycroft for her. That was nonnegotiable for her because she had to assured that Mycroft was safe.
"Yeah, actually, now you mention it ...," Lestrade said and he stood up as Lexi slid her phone back over to Sherlock and Sherlock pocketed the both of them. The one thing wedding dresses didn't have, pockets. They really needed pockets. So did bride's maids dresses. Pockets because she had to carry things to like her mobile which was currently with Mycroft and her gun which was not in easy access at all.
"Sherlock, Lexi, any chance of a – an end date for this speech? I've still gotta give mine and we've gotta cut the cake," John said and while Greg headed out of the door, Sherlock smiled widely and the two detectives danced down the aisle together as Lexi laughed brightly and hung onto him when they stopped suddenly.
"Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, can't stand it when we finally get the chance to speak for once," Sherlock said before the two detectives looked directly at John.
"Vatican Cameos," They said in unison, saying them in a conversational way as if they were a natural part of the sentence. John straightened up in his chair and Lexi nodded at him slightly, just enough for him to get the hint. Joanna shook her head and clenched her jaw as her lips formed a tight line. Anthea looked over at her and
"Merde," [Shit] Joanna swore before Lexi saw her reach under the table and grabbed her gun that was hidden under it. Lexi looked away from her grinning slightly as Anthea tensed beside her, seeing what she was doing. Joanna placed her free hand on Anthea's elbow to let her know that everything was going to be alright.
"What did they say? What's that mean?" Mary asked John as Lexi turned her head to look at them and tried to send John a look to let him know what was going on. Unfortunately he was never as good at reading her expressions as Sherlock was. That did not help them at all right now. Joanna sat completely tense in her seat while still trying to look completely fine so as not to alert anyone else.
"Battle stations. Someone's gonna die," John told Mary quietly, tugging the bottom of his waistcoat down.
"What!?" Mary asked in shock and Joanna reached across John and put a hand on her arm as John put his hand over Mary's, silently shushing her. Joanna looked at Lexi and then jerked her head towards Sherlock to let her know to take care of things. Lexi nodded once at her, enough for her to know that she understood, but not enough to alert anyone else.
"Relax, Lexi already has Mycroft in the hall, their parents are already safe, Greg is closing the place off, and Sherlock and Lexi are already on the case and figuring it out. Give them a few minutes," Joanna told John and Mary and Lexi smiled slightly as she turned back to Sherlock, touched by Joanna's confidence in them. Sherlock and Lexi turned to look at the guests. Well it looked like she was going to get to use her skills after all. Joanna looked up at the detectives as Sherlock grimaced, his eyes screwed tightly shut. He blinked, lowering his head and screwing his eyes shut again. Lexi looked up at him, her hand tightly holding Sherlock's. Sherlock suddenly roared loudly with frustration and rage and slapped himself hard on the right cheek. Joanna blinked and looked up at them before taking a deep breath to calm her jumpiness.
"Shut up," Lexi suddenly yelled before she turned towards Sherlock as he loudly and angrily shouted "No!" and slapped his left cheek and Joanna realized that they were trying to figure it out but the pressure was mounting on them and was getting to be too much. Someone was about to get murdered and they had to figure out who and how.
"No!" Sherlock shouted again loudly and angrily and Lexi grabbed his hands and held them in hers before he could slap himself again. By now the guests were whispering amongst themselves and watching them all closely as Joanna held onto Anthea's hand tightly under the table to comfort her as Anthea looked terrified at knowing something was about to happen.
"Love, me, focus on me. Now, who do we know it can't be? We made files on every single wedding guest. We knew who was coming to the wedding so, how do we narrow it down?" Lexi asked Sherlock and Joanna listened to them as they turned around. Sherlock angrily pointed upwards with the index fingers of both hands, but the tension in his shoulders was slightly softened.
"Not you! Not you!" Sherlock said loudly and he slipped his hand into Lexi's again and took a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing completely. He kissed the side of Lexi's head as he calmed down and lowered his hand a little to point his fingers towards the top table. "You," Sherlock said quieter and John straightened again, looking back at them. "It's always you. John Watson, you keep us right," Sherlock said as he and Lexi walked towards him, Sherlock now pointing at him with just one hand.
"You always have," Lexi told John and he stood as they walked up to the table. "You've always managed to keep us right."
"What do I do?" John asked the both of them and Lexi smiled at him.
"Well, you've already done it. Don't solve the murder," Sherlock told John and Lexi smiled at Sherlock as Lexi turned to him. "Save the life," Sherlock finished intensely and Lexi looked at John encouragingly.
"You once saved mine because you didn't let me down. You can do the same now," Lexi told the army doctor and he nodded at her. Sherlock drew in a sharp breath through his nose before he and Lexi turned towards the guests again with manic grins on their faces.
"Sorry. Off-piste a bit. Back now," Sherlock said his voice going slightly high pitched and Joanna breathed in deeply and shut off the caring part of her, having to set aside her sentimental side right now that was worried about Mycroft because he was out of her sight. She needed to focus, just for a little bit. "Phew!" Sherlock said and he clapped his hands together and looked down at the floor.
"We tend to get a bit carried away sometimes, but that's just us, we are brilliant you know," Lexi said and Sherlock smirked at her as John sighed behind them in exasperation. "Back on the subject though…," Lexi said nodding at Sherlock and they both looked at each other with a manic grin.
"Let's play a game," Sherlock started and her and Lexi raised their eyes while lowering their heads a little more, staring intensely out into the room.
"Let's play Murder," Sherlock and Lexi said in unison and behind them, John sat down again. Joanna sighed out heavily and shook her head at the detectives ruefully with a small smirk on her face. Sherlock prowled forward as Lexi walked beside him, his eyes flickering around the room at the guests as Lexi looked at each of them in turn, studying them all.
"Sherlock, Lexi," Mrs. Hudson scolded them both disapprovingly
"Imagine someone's going to get murdered at a wedding," Sherlock said, steepling his hands in front of his chin as he and Lexi progressed forward and she smiled at him. "Who exactly would you pick?" Sherlock asked as Lexi adopted her own thinking pose, steepling her index fingers across her lips in a shush gesture.
"The bride and groom? A guest? They're all perfect targets," Lexi suggested and Sherlock hummed in agreement, lowering his hands and wrapping them around her waist. Lexi lowered her hands instantly and put them over his, smiling at him as he rested his chin on top of her head, still studying all of the guests with the utmost scrutiny.
"I think you two are a popular choice at the moment, dears," Mrs. Hudson told them both and Lexi snorted at her and rolled her eyes slightly as Joanna nodded in amusement and agreement.
"If someone could move Mrs. Hudson's glass just slightly out of reach, that would be lovely," Sherlock said as he gestured behind them. "More importantly, who could you only kill at a wedding?" Sherlock asked and he looked down at Lexi. She frowned slightly and raised her eyebrow. Sherlock and Lexi turned back to look at the guests as Joanna narrowed her eyes at them.
"There are certain people who you can be assured won't miss a wedding, like us," Lexi said and Sherlock furrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully and hummed slightly in her ear, kissing the side of her head before he looked up at everyone else again.
"Most people you can kill any old place. As a mental exercise, Lexi and I've often planned the murder of friends and colleagues," Sherlock said, rubbing his hands together in an Evil Genius sort of way in front of Lexi before he grabbed her hand and they walked back along the room together, Sherlock gestured to John as Lexi grinned at him almost manically. "Now John we'd poison," Sherlock said and Lexi hummed in agreement with a slight nod as Mary nervously looked across to her husband. "Sloppy eater – dead easy."
"That and he never questions anything that I cook for him," Lexi added and Sherlock smirked at her as John looked at Lexi with a slight look of shock. She shrugged at him as Joanna shook her head and closed her eyes in disbelief.
"We've given him chemicals and compounds – that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue. Lestrade's so easy to kill, it's a miracle no-one's succumbed to the temptation," Sherlock said and Lexi nodded and pursed her lips slightly.
"Habits, we all fall into them, certain patterns, those make it easier to kill us. Follow the patterns. The morning coffee break, afternoon cigarette outside so no one can see, perfect times to plan a murder," Lexi added in before they turned and headed towards the back for the room again, each time we paced the length of the room spent studying each and every face.
"I've got a pair of keys to my brother's house – I could easily break in there and asphyxiate him," Sherlock said and Joanna raised an eyebrow at the both of them as she narrowed her eyes slightly. Sherlock made a few strange gestures with his hands, before he noticed Joanna's expression and realized that he may have gone just a bit too far. "...if, if the whim arose."
"Which it hasn't even on the days he is really pissing us off," Lexi assured Joanna and she made an mmm hmm sound as she regarded her soon to be sister and brother in law.
"Yeah well, just remember, fiancée of said brother who also lives with him and I sleep with one eye open," Joanna warned them both in all seriousness and a few of the guest chuckled nervously, unsure if they were joking or not. Joanna threw them a pointed look to let them know that she wasn't kidding at all.
"Duly noted," Sherlock told her and Lexi nodded in affirmation. Joanna settled back in her set, crossing her legs at her knees and her arms across her chest, her gun now hidden in the folds of her dress in her lap as she pursed her lips at the both of them.
"They're pissed, aren't they?" Joanna heard Tom, Molly's date, ask the petite pathologist quietly and she turned her head just in time to watch Molly stab a plastic fork into the back of his head without even looking round at him. Joanna winced slightly before smirking in amusement. Apparently her talks with Molly had paid off. "Ow!" Tom said loudly as he grabbed his hand in pain.
"So, once again, who could you only kill here?" Sherlock asked as he and Lexi turned and faced the guests again. Sherlock twirled his fingers as Joanna raised her hand to her forehead and rubbed it as she regarded the room. Okay, she could cross off most of the younger unimportant and boring guests. No one would want to kill them anyway. She could also cross off the older guests as most of them could be killed while out doing their shopping at Tesco's or by tripping over a brick.
"Most of you could be killed any old place and at any old time if someone wanted to kill you but not one of you. No, one of you could only be killed here," Lexi said as Sherlock pulled her closer to his side and tucked her head under his chin again. Joanna hummed slightly in agreement and closed her eyes, rapidly scrolling through her mind to figure out which one of them it was.
"Clearly it's a rare opportunity, so it's someone who doesn't get out much," Sherlock said as Joanna grimaced slightly. "Someone for whom a planned social encounter known about months in advance is an exception. Has to be a unique opportunity," Sherlock continued and he and Lexi turned around together. "And since killing someone in public is difficult ...," Sherlock said and they turned again. "...killing them in private isn't an option. Someone who lives in an inaccessible or unknown location, then," Sherlock said and they turned once more. "Someone private, perhaps, obsessed with personal security," Sherlock finished as Joanna's eyes opened as she settled on one file and one name. Major Sholto. Couldn't kill him in private as it was too hard to get to him and he hardly came to public events but he would come to this one for John and it had been planned months in advance. It was perfect and in terms of planning, would have gone down without even a hitch for the killer if not for the fact that this was the wedding of John Watson as well as Sherlock and Lexi Holmes who both walked forward, obviously having figured it out as well. "Possibly someone under threat," Sherlock said and as if sensing Sherlock's gaze, Sholto turned and looked at him and Lexi and they stared back at him.
"Someone who despite feeling uncomfortable being here would never miss John's wedding because they, like us, would never let John Watson down," Lexi added and Sherlock hummed beside her as Sholto nodded at her ever so slightly. Sherlock tried to act nonchalant as Joanna watched as he and Lexi walked over to a nearby table and he picked up one of the name cards on it while pulling a pen on a chain from his waistcoat, a little invention from Lexi because you never knew when you would need a pen.
"Ooh! A recluse, small household staff," Sherlock said as Lexi leaned in closely to him and whispered something to him, very close to his ear. Sherlock turned slightly towards her and raised his eyebrow and Lexi smirked at him mischievously and Sherlock couldn't contained his own smirk.
"High turnover for additional security," Sherlock said, writing on the name card in the reception room as Lexi hid what he was doing from view. "Probably all signed confidentiality agreements," Sherlock said and Lexi hummed in agreement as Sherlock passed her the name card while they walked over to Sholto which she then casually dropped down in front of him before they walked away and Joanna saw her whisper something to him again, but couldn't catch what she said to him across the room.
"There is another question that remains, however – a big one, a huge one, how would you do it? How would you kill someone in public?" Sherlock asked as Sholto picked up the name card and looked at the writing on it. "There has to be a way. This has been planned," Sherlock said and Lexi swore under her breath from the look of it since Joanna was reading her lips and Sherlock turned to her in confusion as Archie suddenly jumped up excitedly from his chair.
"Mr. Holmes! Mrs. Holmes!" Archie called excitedly and Lexi and Sherlock both stopped and turned to him.
"Oh, hello again, Archie," Sherlock said as Lexi changed her entire demeanor and smiled down at him.
"What have you got for us sweetie?" Lexi asked him as she and Sherlock bent forward to get more down to Archie's level. Well they had perfect with kids down for themselves.
"Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you," Sherlock promised Archie and Lexi shot him a look and smiled at him slyly before she rolled her eyes slightly and smirked. Joanna shook her head at that. And there goes responsible with children right out the window. Remind her never to let them babysit for her and Myc if they ever had children.
"The invisible man could do it," Archie said and Lexi grinned at him proudly.
"Very good Archie. You've figured out exactly what I have. Now why don't you explain it to Sherlock for me," Lexi asked Archie and Sherlock realized that this is why she had sworn as did Joanna. She had figured it out already. Then again, Joanna wasn't surprised, she was one step ahead.
"The who, the what, the why, the when, the where?" Sherlock asked Archie quick fire.
"The invisible man with the invisible knife. The one who tried to kill the Guardsman. Mrs. Holmes said it herself," Archie said, looking up at Lexi and she nodded before looking back at Sherlock.
"Trial run," She told him and Sherlock gasped and straightened up, his eyes wide as Lexi straightened up beside him. Major Sholto got to his feet, picked up his ceremonial sword propped against the window, and turned to walk towards the door. Sherlock turned his head away, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them again and looked directly at Lexi who nodded at him. Joanna shook her head at the both of them. Those bloody detectives. It never could be simple with them. There cases were always so connected, the Bloody Guardsman was connected to this and the Mayfly Man.
"Oh, not just planned. Planned and rehearsed," Sherlock said softly as Joanna read his lips and Lexi made a slight gesture with her head. "You said it before, Bainbridge was only a trial run," Sherlock said and Lexi hummed in agreement before they turned and watched as Sholto reached the door and started to open it. Joanna frowned slightly, hoping Mycroft would catch him out in the hall or Lestrade.
"Bainbridge never made sense, the case had holes. Joanna and the BAU both agreed with me that that was only the trial run, they planned and rehearsed the murder in advance," Lexi told Sherlock and he nodded as did Joanna and Sherlock kissed the side of her head before they turned and headed quickly towards the top table, swiping someone's champagne glasses from a table as they went.
"Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude," Sherlock said as he and Lexi skidded to a halt in front of the top table and turned and held up their glass.
"The bride and groom!" They said in unison and with a little uncertainly this time, the guests stood up and raises their glasses. Joanna hiding her gun down by her side as she raised her glass and looked over at Mary and John and met both of their eyes as she repeated their words before looking at Anthea and nodding at her and the woman nodded back at her to confirm that she understood her part in the plan that was about to be set into motion.
"The bride and groom," The guests repeated and instantly Sherlock and Lexi turned back and bent down to John.
"Major Sholto's going to be murdered. We don't know how or by whom, but it's going to happen," Sherlock told John who looked at them wide eyed in shock as Joanna gripped her gun tighter.
"And very, very soon," Lexi added before both detectives turned and started making their way through the guests who were now blocking the aisle.
"'Scuse us, coming through!" Sherlock said as he kept his hand firmly linked with Lexi's so as not to lose her.
"Woman in a dress coming through," Lexi called loudly in her Irish accent and people started to move for them, making Sherlock chuckle. John quickly turned and took Mary's head in one hand and kissed her.
"Consulting!" Sherlock shouted as he and Lexi pushed through the crowd.
"Bit of a case, should only take a few minutes," Lexi added as John looked up at them and then back down at Mary.
"Stay here," John told Mary, not wanting her to be in any danger obviously. He had noticed when Mycroft had gotten up and moved his and Sherlock's parents out of the room. He also noticed that it was Lexi who had told him to do that. Joanna of course noticed that he noticed. Whatever was going on Lexi knew something, she was calculating and she only did that on one of two occasions, when one of them was about to die or when she knew something they didn't and she was trying to figure out a solution because an explanation would take too long. Joanna was now in full on assassination mode and she was ready to get out of this room and ascertain that Mycroft was alright if there was a murderer at this wedding.
"Please be careful," Mary told him and John smiled down at her.
"I'll be with Lexi. She'll throw her shoes at any murderer who tries to get too close to Sherlock or me," John joked and Mary smiled before John got up and started making his own way through the guests. "'Scuse me. Coming through! 'Scuse me," John said, following after the consulting detectives. Mary hesitated for only a few seconds, then jumped up and followed him.
"Sorry, one more. Whoops! So sorry! Thank you!" Mary shouted and the guests murmured and chattered to each other in confusion.
"Actually that'll be one more," Joanna said as she stood up again, handing the gun she had in her hand to Anthea under the table so that she had a means of protecting herself if anything happened. She looked at Athena, Charlotte, out of the corner of her eye and while the girl looked terrified at being handed a gun she nodded and strengthen her resolve as she strengthen her grip on it and held it like Joanna had taught her to. Joanna looked at the table grinning. This was going to be fun. "Oh yeah," She said with a nod. "I'm doing this," She said, kicking off her heels which she did not want getting messed up and because, while she could do this in her heels, she would prefer not to, before she caught her dress up in one hand and then vaulted up and over the table before rolling into the middle aisle and onto her knees, throwing her hair back. The guests stared at her in shock, whispering louder as she rose to her feet slowly and dramatically, Mycroft popping his head into the room to see what was taking her so long. He sighed in exasperation when she caught his eye. "Alright, Maid of Honour coming the fuck through. Move it or lose it," Joanna barked and the guests moved out of her way, parting like the red sea as she stalked up to Mycroft barefooted. He held a hand out to her and she took it as he escorted her from the room.
"Was that really necessary?" Mycroft asked her with a sigh.
"Not really, but it was fun," Joanna smirked and Mycroft only grumbled slightly when she pulled him down and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Now, kick ass crime solving! My kind of wedding," Joanna said excitedly as she bounced into the main receiving room where Lexi and Mary were talking with Mummy Holmes who was detaining them, the boys having rushed on ahead.
"Alright Lexi, Mary, go find your husbands, their rubbish without you," Joanna ordered the women, knowing that Lexi could handle the situation with Sholto on her own while she stayed downstairs and made sure that the situation remained neutral. She also was not letting Mycroft out of her sight again, not after how anxious she had felt for only a few minutes. She reached down and began lifting the skirt of her dress to get her second gun out, not at all concerned with the fact that Mummy and Papa Holmes were standing right there.
"What are you doing?" Mycroft squeaked as he tried to shove her skirt down and Joanna rolled her eyes as she straightened up, smoothing out her skirt in the process and held up a gun. Dear Lord, there was such a thing as too keen.
"Though she might like this," Joanna said as she handed the gun off to Lexi who hid it under her dress much in the manner as she had before only her skirt was a lot shorter so it was more practical of a hiding spot. Joanna hid her smirk, knowing that Lexi had probably slipped it into her garter. "Now shoo," Joanna told them and Lexi grabbed Mary's hand before the two women rushed off to find their husbands. "Now, where were we?" Joanna asked before she walked over to Mummy and Papa Holmes and smushed herself in between them. "I believe you were telling me a story about Myc earlier," Joanna said, shooting an evil grin back at Mycroft who groaned as his mother started going on about when he used to shut himself in his room studying. Joanna had a feeling he had been doing something very different from studying when he was locked up in his room all the time, something education surely, but certainly not studying. She looked over at him and started making the bedroom eyes at him as a slow smirk crept onto her face and Mycroft's eyes widened slightly. Well…the night wasn't over yet, maybe Mycroft would get lucky after all.