I love my faithful reviewers!

I don't own Naruto.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

I was sick and tired of waking up in pain and really cold. It was not a pleasant experience. My body hurt, it was sore. I felt so weak. I really didn't like being back here; everything wasn't like it was supposed to be. It made me sad.

Staying with the Akatsuki had been more fulfilling than this, just lying in a hospital bed with an IV and heart monitor, doctors poking and prodding me. Trying to figure out what was causing the seizures.

I felt like I knew what was causing the seizures. That feeling that I had left something important behind had something to do with it. I need that something important back or else I would just keep having seizures. The seizures themselves were from my body trying to go back but not being able to.

I wished I was able to. It would be so much easier to be there than here with the family that no longer felt like I was me. Though really I no longer felt like me, not since I had woken up. I wonder if it was all a dream, my time there. I wished it wasn't, that would have been such a waste. If it was a dream then I could have done anything and had so much more fun. Not just milled about aimlessly, lost and confused.

If it was a dream then I would curse it till the day I died. Stupid realistic dreams; but I didn't believe that it was a dream. I had had dreams that seemed almost absurdly real, but my time there was different, I knew that with the completeness of my soul.

I stopped talking to my family, they were annoying me with the new way they acted. I stopped talking to the doctor; he put me under suicide watch and moved me to the mental health ward. I wasn't crazy but the move didn't bother me, it was a change in scenery.

I found that I really disliked being here again; I felt so out of place. Even with all the crazy people around me. I never thought in my life that I would like to be in a coma but here I was thinking it everyday that I was forced to lie in this bleach scented room.

I had a calendar to mark the days. I had been here, in the mental health ward, for a month. In the actual hospital, awake, for two weeks. I wished every damn day to be put back in the coma and be with Emi and the Akatsuki, as weird as that was. I wished to have Pein send me out on another mission, to accidently kill another man. I would do it to, with out crying, if I was just back there.

I was shocked and in horror at this new revelation. I was not a killer; I was going crazy, very slowly going crazy.

I had always known that I had issues but I never let it get to me, not like this, never like this. I was never insane, I just had issues. This whole being insane thing was terrible, horrid. I wondered how people wrote stories and made movies about insane people just being geniuses or having really great times in places like this. It seemed impossible to have fun here, like everyone was against fun and happiness.

Everything was dreary and floral wallpapered to hell with no carpet, only off white linoleum tile.

I wanted to be back there so bad. It had a sort of addicting feeling on me I guess. I was like a smoker in withdrawal. I was lonely but my family did nothing to stifle that loneliness when they visited. I felt like an alien when they came to visit, talking about superficial things like I couldn't handle some deep conversation.

Maybe I couldn't in the state I was in. I knew I was in a state simply by analyzing the way I acted, acting so strangely for no reason other than being here and not there. It made me mad. I except the fact that I was awake and there was no way to go back there without the knowledge of what caused me to go there in the first place.

It wasn't another day before I collapsed while playing chess with a schizophrenic teenager, my body convulsing with the seizure.

I had found it weird that I had been without my typical seizure for the month that I had been living in the mental ward, but this seizure was different. It didn't hurt like the others had it was just a consistent jerking all around me while my jaw clenched and the world spun. My eyes burned as I was left staring up at the florescent light above me.

I saw the schizophrenic teen standing above me with a weird smile on her face. The world all around him went black. His blonde hair floated around his head like he was in water. His eyes were glowing faintly yellow.

"You don't like it here." His voice was ethereal. My body stopped convulsing but I couldn't move.

"You want to go back." I barely registered his words, they were floating and muffled.

"When you accept your fate, it will change." He faded off and left me in the dark place. Left me to just think about what he said. It couldn't have been real, just a seizure induced dream or hallucination. I felt both free and trapped in the large black expanse.

I thought about the schizophrenic's words but they were soon lost to me like a dream that someone tries to hard to remember. I struggled to remember before resigning to just floating there in the blackness. I cursed myself silently for forgetting to easily. It had only been minutes ago.

It was hard to retain any information here in the blackness. It was infuriating me, pushing me to fury. Then the information, all the anger, was gone like a lost dream again and I was floating in the black abyss.

I was stuck here it seemed, I couldn't move still. I settled myself down; feeling like I wouldn't get back there, maybe not even back with my family in the mental ward if I was stuck in the black world.

Then all of a sudden the black world was crashing down around me in large broken glass like chunks, reflecting nonexistent light all around. I was falling now, tumbling down with the broken black mirror pieces.

My curly hair whipping around me and lashing against my face, my limbs lifted above me slightly from the down motion.

My back slammed into the ground with a loud slam, I screamed in shocked pain as my skull bounced off the hard ground.

Please review!

Sincerely, Absinth