"I think we need a chat."
Jill looked up slowly from staring blankly at the carpet, focussing on her husband in the doorway. He advanced into the room, holding out his hand to her. With a tentativeness that pained both of them, she reached out, sliding her chilled fingers over his warmer ones. He clasped her hand in his; the sensation of his wife's skin against his own, created through such a simple and innocent act, was pleasing, despite the circumstances. With a gentle tug she rose, glancing back to ensure Tom was still asleep.
She hated the harshness of the light that met her as they entered their bedroom. She was much more comfortable in the dimness of the hallway, the only illumination being provided from the light of streetlamps outside filtering through the curtains. She hated the way every corner of the bedroom was lit up, how everything was stark and clear, how she'd been able to see the expression on her husband's face… How he'd be able to see hers.
He lowered them down to the edge of the bed though didn't release her hand, merely changing their hold to a more comfortable position; he wanted to make her at ease, let her know through his touch that he was no longer angry. Nevertheless, the silence was an uncomfortable one. She sat with her head bowed, her beautiful face averted, allowing Gordon gaze sadly at her whilst he formulated his words. "Jill… I-"
"I'm sorry Gordon." She interrupted suddenly, forcefully, her head lifting and her gaze meeting his with a deep intensity. "I shouldn't have lied to you."
"Why did you?" He asked quietly. It wasn't the direction he'd intended the conversation to take. But despite the absence of the anger, the hurt from being lied to was still there; he needed to know.
She shrugged, which he began to think was an insensitive dismissal of his feelings until she spoke. "Because I hate this whole cursed situation! Because I want to be able to do everything. And because I know I can." She paused, averting her eyes once again as they began to fill with tears. "I lied because I know you think differently. I knew there'd be an argument, and I was worried that… That other things would be brought up."
He was silent whilst trying to get unravel what she had told him, what she had hinted at, and what she was still hiding. The 'I know you think differently' comment worried him; was it merely surrounding her recovery to which she was referring, or was she hinting that she thought he held no belief in her abilities? And then the 'other things'. He wasn't at such a complete loss as to what she may have been worried about. Still, he wanted to be surer before broaching upon that topic. He opened his mouth. To say what, he didn't know. But he knew Jill would need to hear something. Yet before he could, a cry could be heard from one of his offspring, this time the youngest.
Jill quietly excused herself, rising and leaving the room, closing the door tightly behind her. After his wife's form disappeared from view, he flopped back on the mattress with a deep, heavy sigh. Why was it that after that talk, everything seemed even more complicated?