Chapter 25: Romantics and Realists

Anyone who's stayed any length of time in a hospital will tell you sleep is a futile endeavor. It's a never-ending orchestra of strange sounds, the hiss of oxygen; the grinding bleep of the heart monitor; the rhythmic tapping of feet walking the hallways; the off and on murmur of conversations passing your door. But it was the hourly observations which bothered me most; regardless of how quiet the nurses kept their movements, I was always wide awake the moment they were beside me shining their penlight on my file, fiddling with my monitors, and inflating the blood pressure cuff around my arm. It was a routine I was familiar with from those weeks spent bedside with Alcide after his accident. It stirred awful memories and triggered a terrible mix of nostalgia and dread.

I slept fitfully that night and stirred after midnight, though sometime in between my hourly obs, to hear the forceful British accent of a woman vehemently arguing at the nurses' station somewhere down the hall.

"Do you know how far we've traveled to get here in less than two fucking days after Christmas? JFK was completely snowed in for the last 48 hours and we still made it. I haven't urinated in anything cleaner than a filthy truckers' toilet in over twenty-four hours. So I swear to your God, if you do not let this man through I will pull every string I need to make sure your boss and your boss's boss is woken right now and told in very, specific, terms how you, Nurse Courtney Barnes, were denying him permission to visit his ailing partner, and how it is your fault that they now have to come in and sort this shit out."

"Ma'am, you must keep your voice down." The nurse dropped her voice to a murmur and I couldn't make it out over the noises in my room. An accompanying murmur of a male voice chimed in. A male voice which I knew. Very well.

"It's okay... Let's just... Tomorrow we can..." The words faded between hisses and beeps of the medical equipment in my room.

I winced, pulling myself up in bed from where I'd slumped down during sleep and grabbed my remote. I pressed the nurse's call button, waited a moment until it chimed and I turned it off again. The little light outside my door in the hallway flicked on and then off. I did it again, on and off in repeated succession multiple times, the chime ringing down the hall and the light flashing. A single set of jogging footsteps echoed off the vinyl and a familiar frame filled doorway way.

"Sookie." My name sounded like a sigh of relief passing his lips.

"I think I'm gonna go by 'Susannah Still Alive' from now on," I said wryly.

He let out a dry, tired laugh. "Can I come in?"

The nurse appeared behind him. She moved around him, looking like she didn't know whether to cry or pull the security alarm.

"It's okay," I said to both of them. "He can come in. We'll be quiet."

"Five minutes," she said, arms crossed. I switched on the lamp beside the bed and set the remote down.

Eric sat heavily in the chair beside my bed and dropped his head in his hands, dragging his hands through his hair. "You're okay." He exhaled raggedly.

I reached over and touched the back of his hand lightly. When he looked up his eyes were red-rimmed and glassy.

"You look a mess," I said. He was pale, his hair greasy and the messy beard had made a return.

He cracked a grin. "Woman, have you seen yourself?" He looped his fingers with mine before I could withdraw my hand. "What happened? I tried calling you... And when Amelia rang to say you were missing… I thought…" He shook his head slowly in disbelief. "Did it get you?"

"No," I said. "I went out and found it. I followed it."

His eyes widened.

"Amelia and I worked it out," I explained. "Well, she connected the dots that it was stalking me for a reason. I followed it and it led me through the park and to the final resting place of four bodies."

He swore under his breath. "The girls?"

"I think so… But I don't know. They're all bones now. Hidden in a cave on a mountain not far from the lake. Tara's heading out with a team tomorrow to check it out and retrieve the remains."

"Did it hurt you?" He motioned to his jaw. I lifted my free hand to my own jaw and traced the scrapes I hadn't even realized were there. It must've been from when it dragged me through the tunnel.

"Not intentionally. The other injuries," I said gesturing to my foot, hands and arms. "Most were all my fault."

"Is your ankle broken?" My leg was strapped, still elevated on multiple pillows.

"No, but…but I might lose some toes." He looked alarmed and I felt something inside me crack. With a wobbly voice, I continued, "Have you even seen frostbitten feet? They're so disgusting. They get black and then the toes have to be cut off. So, there goes wearing sandals ever again. And they had to shave a patch at the side of my head so they could glue my head where I busted it open. I also have claw marks on my arm that are definitely going to scar." I pinched my lips shut before I started sounding even more pathetic.

I didn't even care about those things, not really, but somehow at that moment the idea Eric might not find me as attractive as he used to, completely devastated me. Urgh. Priorities, girl. I had mine all messed up.

"Hey, hey, hey…" Eric scooted the chair closer. "That stuff doesn't matter, Sookie. Your hair will grow back, the scars will fade and I'll still love your funky, gross toes."

I couldn't help let out a watery laugh in response. He leaned over the bed to awkwardly embrace me. I buried my head into his neck, drawing in his scent. He definitely needed a shower, we both did, but he was familiar and warm.

"I hate it here," I whispered harshly, and the tears finally spilled over. "I hate hospitals. I hate them so much. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. It's like trying to relax in this awful mausoleum of memories from back then. The smells and the sounds… Every time I try to relax it's like I'm being sent back in time and I'm next to Alcide's bed, waiting for him to die all over again."

"When do you get to go home?" He rubbed my back soothingly.

"I don't know… They want to watch how my toes progress over the next few days. Later in the week, I guess."

Nurse Courtney walked in again and looked at us expectantly.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked quietly, not releasing me from the embrace. I shook my head. He stood up and squared his shoulders. "I'm not leaving. If you have a problem with that you'll have to physically remove me - but then you'll find yourself dealing with Pamela, whom you met in the foyer earlier."

The nurse let out a put-upon huff. Seemed she was expecting this. "Fine. Just be quiet, there are other patients trying to sleep on this ward. I'll find you a blanket and a pillow. One time only – this won't fly tomorrow night."

He sat back down when she left and he smiled tightly at me.

"Thank you." I twisted in bed a little to face him as much as my bad foot and sore head would allow.

"It's no problem. Americans forget that patients are paying customers in hospitals. You have rights also." Forever the pragmatic Swede.

"How did you get here? Was that Pam I overhead before?"

"It's been a long day. Two days." He scrubbed his face tiredly with a hand. "Amelia called me at ten pm the day after Christmas telling me you'd left that morning and hadn't come back. She was hysterical. I was with Pam at the time and she took me straight to JFK. There'd been a snow storm. It was a nightmare. People everywhere, no flights coming or going, and none were expected to resume until late next day. We managed to hire one of the last cars in all of New York and left."

"You're kidding. You drove all this way?"

"Almost. We planned the route and Pam phoned ahead until we found an airport willing to send a charter flight straight into Chester."

Oh, shit. I felt awash with guilt again. "...Which was where?"

He grimaced. "St. Louis, Missouri. We'd been driving in shifts for about 16 hours by that point. Then another four and a half hour flight here. I was only getting intermittent updates from Amelia. She called when they'd found you. But all she'd heard was second-hand information from Tara. They found you injured and basically dead, you'd had a seizure while they were transferring you…" He ran his hand through his hair again, his voice cracking. I'd never seen him at a loss for words before.

"I had a seizure?" The doctor hadn't mentioned that. "And I can't believe you did all that. Travelled that far." I wiped some more tears away. "You must be exhausted."

"The great American road trip I'd always planned," he said, with a wry grin. "Though faster than expected. And yes, that's what Amelia said. Seizure. She said your heart rate had slowed so much by the time they reached you, you were barely conscious and they couldn't even find a pulse, you were hardly breathing. Then you had a seizure on the helicopter flight over."

"I only have fuzzy memories…" Sam's smile and Bill's serious expression. The skull on its bed of pine needles talking to me. Fiat justitia ruat cælum. A tingle ran down my spine. Eric stroked my cheek drawing me from my thoughts.

"You're alright now," he said. "You found what it wanted to show you. You can relax." I leaned into the warmth of his hand, his comfort chasing away the lingering chill of fear. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the simple pleasure of him being reunited with Eric.

"You were right," I said, placing my hand over his before opening my eyes again. "About how I would have taken the fact you'd had a green card marriage and the weird blackmail deal Freya struck with you. If you'd told me when we first met I would have judged you terribly. Not as badly as you were making out, but it wouldn't have counted in your favor."

"And how about now?"

"I couldn't give a flying fuck," I said and his face broke out into a broad grin. "Being at the cabin, meeting you… everything else, it's given me perspective. I feel like for the first time it's okay to just let myself be happy. It's okay not to be so goal oriented or focused on my career or even be so tightly wound. I mean, that's the reason I moved here, isn't it?" I brought his hand around and kissed the knuckles. "I'm sorry for sending you away without giving us the chance to talk about it. It was shitty and cowardly of me."

"I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't. And I'm sorry that your scary-as-fuck sheriff friend was the one who broke it to you."

"She's not scary!"

"Yes, she is. I see her and I swear my balls' automatically start shrinking inside my body."

I burst out in loud laughter and his hand slipped over to cover my mouth.

"Shhh. This is a hospital, you know," he scolded. He removed his hand. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"My breath could probably knock out a horse," I replied, too tired to lift my head off the pillow but still possessing enough energy to feel a rush of excitement.

"I couldn't give a flying fuck." He leaned forward to press an insistent, though soft kiss against my lips. His warm tongue slipped forward to caress my own, and I palmed the scruff on his cheek. The room, my condition, and even the events of the last day all seemed to fade away. I let myself relax.

I awoke with the seven am round of observations. I'd slept undisturbed by my nurse's comings and goings over the last few hours, an extra dose of Endone helping to knock me out. I looked across the room to Eric, asleep and curled awkwardly in the vinyl armchair in the corner, the blanket draped over him.

"I need to use the bathroom," I whispered to the nurse. Nurse Courtney nodded, unhooking me from machines and passing me the crutches. She hovered as I crutched to the small en suite in the opposite corner of the room. I relieved myself and followed it up with washing my hand and face and then brushing my teeth.

"How are your pain levels?" she asked, after helping me back into bed.

"About a 3," I said, lifting my leg back up onto the pillows that were elevating it. "I'm okay. My toes are throbbing and burning on this foot."

"That's normal. You're nearly due for your next round of pain relief, so that will take the edge off." She pulled the covers on me. "Is he really Eric Northman?" she asked quietly, nodded towards his sleeping form.

"He is."

"Oh my…" She flushed. "I had no idea."

"You've read his books?"

"I own a copy of every single one of his books. Do you think he'd mind autographing them?" She chewed her lip hopefully and fiddled with my fluid line, hooking it back up to the cannula.

"It depends on whether you let me stay another night," Eric said from across the room, causing the nurse to jolt in surprise.

"Well…my shift is about to end, but I'm back in tonight, so I think it can be arranged. We have some chairs like the one you're on which fold out into a small bed. I can see if the orderly will bring one in for you."

"You've got a deal." He winked at her and she turned to me, red patches rapidly rising along the column of her neck.

"Wait till I tell my husband about this!" She left the room with a pep in her step.

"Perks, huh?" I said turning back to Eric, enjoying the way the morning light illuminated him. His hair was rumpled and his smile was dopey with sleep. Unexpected warmth crept through my chest.

He snorted. "I think I'm offended she didn't recognize me, to begin with."

"It's probably because you look homeless," I laughed. "Nothin' at all like the author portrait on the back your books."

Eric ran a hand through his beard scruff looking vaguely offended. "I'll have you know I grew this roadkill with my own blood, sweat, and tears like a real man."

I sat up in bed and shifted my leg pillows over and scooched over the edge of the mattress as far as I could.

"Well, we've got an hour before the nurse comes back, Mr. Manly Man. If you wanna hop in for a cuddle now's your chance."

He threw back his blanket and jumped in quick as a wink. One leg wrapped itself around my good leg, his other knee dug into my thigh while his head rested against mine. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it was nice. I closed my eyes.

"I missed you," he said, absently rubbing my stomach. "I left and wanted to come back straight away. I felt like the biggest piece of shit. Pam kept stopping me… She said to give you time. All I wanted was to book the first flight back."

"I'm glad you're here now."

"Me too." I felt his warm lips at my temple.

"Two weeks is a long time after a girl gets used to getting her womanly needs being met daily." I elbowed him gently in the side.

Eric let out a low chuckle and his hand traveled up to massage my breast. I told him off half-heartedly but let him leave it there. Eric asked me to recount the whole tale on the mountain with Eurynomos.

"I feel like my whole life was turned up on its head this week," I said quietly after I finished speaking.

"You went through something unbelievable."

"Not just that... I had lunch with Niall Brigant a few days ago." I shifted a little to face him better. "He's Claudine's grandfather. The Brigants were part of a group of family friends here back in the hey-day. Niall owns the main ski resort on Mt. Rayner." I asked Eric to reach across and retrieve the letter sitting on the nightstand. I unfolded it and held it up so we could both see it. "At lunch, he told me he was my grandfather… He and Gran had an affair which resulted in two children, my dad and my Aunt Linda."

"Wow. That's heavy."

"You're tellin' me..." I sighed. "Things haven't been great since you've left."

He gently tilted my chin and captured my lips with a soft kiss. "The worst is behind you now," he murmured, as we parted.

"I hope to heck that's true." I shifted the letter closer to him so he could read it.

"I don't have my glasses on me," he apologized and so I quietly recited the letter to him, then described Niall's visit the day before and Claudine's admission.

"I think it's romantic," he said, folding the letter and sliding it back into its envelope for me.

"You think?"

"Unrequited love, they still went for it, even though they knew from the beginning it would never work out. Willing to risk everything they had to experience love until the risk became too great. He gave her children that would never be his own. Great love, great sacrifice."

I curled my nose. They had both been unfaithful. They'd broken their marriage vows. And I was clearly not a sentimental romantic in the way Eric was.

"But Gran always seemed so… righteous. Her morals were as strong as her backbone. Or so I thought. Hard to imagine she was young and in love, doing the opposite of everything she believed to be right. She worked hard to instill her values onto me and I've always looked up to her. But now… I wonder if I ever knew her at all?"

"Maybe those values were strengthened out of shame. She wanted better for you."

"Maybe. I wonder if she still loved him even after Grandpa died?"

"She probably she still loved Niall but maybe not as much as she loved you and your brother." He tucked some hair behind my ear and nuzzled against my neck.

"I always thought I knew who I was and where I came from," I said with a sigh. "Now I feel like I'm spinning cartwheels through clouds. I don't know which way is up and can't grab a hold of anything."

"It's okay to feel out of control sometimes."

"Not for a control freak," I complained sourly.

"You're not such a control freak these days. It's okay to let go sometimes, Sookie. The world isn't your responsibility."

"Stop being so reasonable," I grumbled. "Can't you just make sympathetic sounds and tell me I'm right?" I felt him shake with laughter, and I elbowed him playfully again. "Did you sort everything out with Freyda?"

He shrugged. "She's being a bitch and dragging her heels. I don't know what her fucking problem is. I told her she can have the house and she still wasn't happy. She didn't even show up for the meeting, she just sent her lawyer."

I tutted. "That's B.S. Who's your lawyer and what have they advised?"

Eric went through the details and I moved the electric bed so we were sitting up. He was all arms and legs poking me so he climbed out and sat back on the chair beside the bed.

"Leave it with me," I said when he was done explaining. "Don't make any more contact with her side. You've paid more money into the mortgage than she's contributed and you paid the majority of the deposit, even if it was all in her name. It's just as much yours as hers. Moreso, perhaps. You need better representation, too. Sounds like your lawyer is just phoning it in. My boss has contacts in New York. I'll get it sorted for you."

"Ah, the control freak returns." He smirked, leaning back in the chair, crossing his hands behind his head.

My face flushed and I groaned in embarrassment. "Sorry… You're right."

"No, please keep going. It's hot. My book's nearly finished, this could be all it takes to write an explosive ending."

After breakfast, a petite blonde woman in heels strode in, tray of coffees in one hand, fancy leather handbag in the other. She set the coffees down next to my mostly untouched breakfast tray and looked at me critically. Despite the fact it was only eight am and we were in a middle-of-nowhere ski-resort town, she was dressed like she was ready to walk the streets of Manhattan during fashion week. She unbuttoned her knee-length woolen coat and hung it over the foot of the bed. Underneath the coat, she was dressed in cream slacks, tall heels, and a nude colored silk blouse.

"Sookie, this is Pam. Friend and agent. Pam this is Sookie." Eric sat up and grabbed a coffee from the tray.

"They're all black, sugar sachets are in the middle compartment," Pam said to him coolly, not taking her eyes off me. "Nice to meet you, Sookie. I've heard many things."

"Nice to meet you too and thank you for the coffee," I said, unperturbed by her demeanor. I reached over and grabbed a cup. I was no stranger to the stone cold bitch routine. I'd mastered it myself in court. "It's that a Hermes Kelly?" I asked, nodding to her bag.

"Vintage," she remarked, picking up her own cup. "You have taste, at least."

I tried not to let my shock show. That was easily a cool ten or fifteen grand worth of handbag right there. I wasn't so much fashion conscious, more a handbag admirer – especially anything Hermes Kelly. I always thought they looked suitably feminine while still being lawyer-ly. Not that I could ever justify spending that much on a handbag. I hated parting with the hundreds of dollars I spent on my one good leather handbag, and that was my present to myself after I was made permanent at the firm.

"So, Eric told you everything?" I asked.

"I believe so." She raised a thin brow in a very Eric-esque way and nodded. Eric confirmed, telling me Pam forced him to dish during their road trip.

"And?" I prompted.

"And I think you've either dragged him into your insane fever dream, or you're the real deal. I wanted to meet you before deciding."

"And now you've met me?"

Her lips quirked and she crossed her arms, looking me over head to toe. Even if it was just an act, she was gorgeous and intimidating in more ways than just her demeanor. "I haven't decided yet. Either way, it will make a hell of a great book."

"Heck no. No story."

She shrugged like my answer didn't matter and Eric got up to move the vinyl armchair over from the corner for her to sit on. She perched and crossed her legs at the knee.

"I heard you found something out there," she said.

"She found the missing girls," Eric said, pinching the remains of my breakfast, most of which I'd not eaten. "The demon led her there."

"We don't know for sure they're the girls. I did find the remains of four bodies." I gave Pam a brief run-down of what happened on the mountain two days earlier. It wasn't so much that I wanted her to believe, but I wanted her validation if it meant Eric's closest friend approved of me. "You think I'm crazy," I said when I finished up.

Her pale eyes narrowed and she shook her head in a slow, considering way. "No, I believe you."

"Really?"

"Who am I to define the limits of what is or isn't real? No one knows for sure." She set her coffee down on the table. "The day my grandmother died, my aunt said she received a phone call from her. The line was full of static, but she heard my grandmother say 'Don't forget the alstroemerias.' and then the line disconnected. My aunt hung up and tried to call her back to no avail. They found my grandmother in her home that evening; she'd passed away in her sleep in the very early hours of the morning. Long before my aunt got that phone call. My aunt said my grandmother had mentioned once in passing that she wanted bouquets of alstroemerias at her funeral. I guess she didn't want Auntie Ree to forget."

"Whoa," said Eric. "You never told me that before." Pam shrugged her delicate shoulders.

"But what I've experienced goes a little beyond sweet ghostly phone calls. I wouldn't blame you for doubting me."

Pam pinned me in place with her gaze for a long moment before responding, "Sookie, I believe you are what sleeping people call insane, and what awake people call…. awake."

"Huh," I said, letting the words sink in. "I like you. You'd make an excellent lawyer."

Eric and Pam both smirked at exactly the same time in exactly the same way like a pair of blonde and evil fraternal twins.

"You're right, I would," she sniffed. "The career just isn't glamorous enough for my tastes."

A/N: It was a long chapter, had to cut it off at some point.