Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! So sorry for the long update I've been really sick and really stressed. I hope you guys like this next chapter and where it's going. PLEASE review it gets me writing and also, I'm always open to you opinions! Love you guys!
Loki worked through his bleary vision and inhaled the new air of the morning, his eyes fell to the body beside him. Tony was fast asleep, chin resting the pillow, his arms tucked beneath the plush surface. For the first time, in a long time, Loki smiled, closed his eyes in contentment when he replayed the night before. They had intermittently made love throughout the night until both of them succumb to exhaustion.
He moved away from the sleeping body and into the shower, his body aching in all the right ways he turned the shower on full blast with the glorious flow of hot water. It wasn't long before he heard the bathroom door creak open, "Hey Lokes, you making this your new home in here?"
Loki chuckled sleepily, opening the shower door, "Only if you join me," and Tony did with a sheepish grin on his face.
He wrapped his arms around Loki's slick torso, "You doing okay?" he asked pressing lips to his heated throat.
"Yes, just a little sore is all,"
Tony's smirk fell short, it had occurred to him at some point between kisses and grinding that this was Loki's first time, well, 'like that', and he had been as perfectly careful as he could despite Loki's onslaught demands of 'please', "I told you we should have stopped after number 3, I'm sorry," and it had taken quite a bit of convincing on Tony's part for round 2 after he noticed Loki wincing.
"It would not have mattered," Loki hummed, turning around and joining their mouths, "I'll heal quickly, I always do."
"Yeah but still," Tony began but was interrupted once more by insistent lips.
"It was everything I was hoping for, no one's ever touched me, loved me like that," Loki's eyes dropped as he clung to Tony's body, forearms resting on Tony's shoulders, and even though he was taller he felt small.
Inwardly Tony was thankful that it was only him that could have made Loki feel like this, he had been alarmed when he'd noticed the presence of blood after the first time together. With a snap of his fingers he whisked any of its presence away. Loki had insisted that he was fine and suddenly they were entangled again and he couldn't get a coherent thought moving in his head besides the beautiful pale body beneath him.
"And I do love you," Tony murmured against the soft flesh of the nape of his neck, they had begun mindlessly rocking back and forth, "How about a nice long shower and then breakfast?"
Loki nodded soundlessly, pressing kisses now along the exposed flesh within his reach
The two of them exited the bedroom, hair both damp and arms about each other's waist when they came face to face with Bruce, "I come in peace," he said immediately, hands out.
On instinct Tony has Loki behind him, "Oh yeah? After the things you said yesterday…"
Bruce interrupted with the loud clearing of his throat, "I know, I know, I said some pretty harsh things. But can you blame me? After all that happened? But I talked to Barton, and I guess if anyone were gonna trust you it would be him. I saw the tapes, saw all of it. And what Fury did to you," his eyes cut to Loki, "I apologize for all that, but I gotta say, I'm not sorry for the Hulk smash."
Loki scoffed, brow furrowing, mouth open and ready retort.
"No, I mean, that's what apparently snapped you out of it. Tony's got surveillance all over this place. I compared the tapes from SHIELD headquarters and Tony's tower…night and day…so uh…I'm sorry about all that yesterday. You've been through the ringer and…well Fury got me riled up I guess. Convinced me that we had a menace on the loose."
"Yeah, he's got a knack for that shit," Tony growled, "I warned him,"
"Did you think that would stop him?" Bruce stopped short, shaking his head, "Never the less, I'm sorry, what they did to you. Even if you had done, everything we thought…you didn't deserve that. No one does."
Loki swallowed audibly, blinking a few times before replying, and moved in front of Tony, "I thank you Doctor...that is quite kind of you. I know it must be difficult, it has been for your entire team I gather." Of all people to be questioning his actions Loki expected Barton to be the most volatile of the team, but now, surprisingly he hadn't. Perhaps it was that whole 'brother in arms of mind control' sentiment they had between them.
"Well any help you might need you have our side, we're supposed to be the good guys, at least that's what I thought Fury intended. I know the aliens are gone, but someone else was controlling you." He eyed him carefully, not exactly surveying for a lie but searching for fear and he found it.
"I am not aware of what happened to my captor…he hasn't been in contact." Loki snapped, "B-But I appreciate your loyalty on his defeat…if that can be achieved."
"Babe," Tony began.
"Tony, no," Loki stopped him, idly squeezing the hand in his, "If he comes looking for me…of which I would assume he would have arrived by now, you cannot stop him. But quite frankly I am not concerned…he may very well assume me dead."
Tony wasn't convinced but let it go, "Thanks for the apology Bruce, hopefully we can just, ya know all get along now? It's been a helluva last two months…"
Things calmed down after that, it was almost a month after Loki's letter to his mother did he receive any word at all. Another letter and that's when Loki had finally snapped, "Where is she Thor?! I need to speak to her, if anyone has information on my family it's her and she's ignoring me! She truly is disgusted isn't she!"
Thor had gone wide eyed and shocked, "Loki no! She would never think that! She's doing everything she can, but Fath-Odin has been suspicious of us both. This is only for your safety. But I have…a letter that contains information on your brothers…"
Loki instantly deflated, eyes watering, and Thor gave a loud 'hmph' when Loki embraced him. To say he was surprised would be too small a word, "It's alright," he found himself speaking softly when he noticed the soft bumping of Loki's chest and barely there cries.
"I'm not sure if I want to know of this 'family' they abandoned me, left me to die…" Loki shuddered.
"You do not know that…it could be different than that. When things have settled, perhaps…perhaps you can reach out to them."
"Not after everything I have done," Loki sniffed, pulling away and wiping at his face, "I made a pretty valiant attempt at destroying their world. All in the attempts to…prove myself…and it didn't matter…none of it mattered…" and he was in Thor's arms again.
Thor had seen Loki cry perhaps a dozen times in their time together, more so as a child, but as Thor looked back, at the constant bullying, Loki became as stone. He had always been shy, more prone to books then brawn, and it gained him attacks from other children. Even adults. Even his own friends, he would admit now. He vowed he'd never abandon him again, and he had, unfortunately, his father to thank for that. For sending him to Earth. He held his brother close and stroked his back like when they were children and Loki had awoken from a nightmare, "We all make mistakes, look what I've done? You can fix this, you will."
"So much faith," Loki croaked, "How can you have any faith at all in me?"
"Because you are my brother," Thor hushed, pressing lips into his hair like he was allowed to do once more, "She will come to you soon, I promise you Loki, I promise."
Tony noticed that something was off about Loki pretty quickly. Their relationship, besides a few hiccups now and then, nightmares, fights, the usual, was progressing. Sometimes Loki was insatiable, of which Tony was happy to reciprocate, sometimes leaving him utterly exhausted. On some days Loki didn't wanna be touched, and Tony understood. He figured, this was just how it went as he worked through his trust issues with intimacy. They would fight sometimes when Tony would touch unwanted and Tony would apologize endlessly and then Loki would lose it, just absolutely fall to pieces. Tony, again, attributed this with healing, so he would simply cradle Loki close and murmur sweet nothings. And then for days they would be fine.
He was more than thankful when Frigga finally made an appearance, books and papers in hand and he let them be.
"Darling, I'm so sorry, I know it's been months, but I simply couldn't come. It was for your safety I assure you," she had said as he son wrapped around her, head buried in her shoulder, "How are you faring? Well I hope?"
But he didn't answer for the longest time, only holding her, thin fingers tangled in the silky threads of her dress.
"Darling," she said once more, "Talk to me, are you being treated well here?"
"Yes, Mother, more than well, I'm just happy to see you is all."
"Here in these papers, I found that your brother Býleistr runs the kingdom now, and quite fair from what I've read. He seems nothing like Laufey, and again, darling, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything like that."
Loki straightened his face, "Besides our dealings I know little of the man, so it does not pain me to speak of him. He was willing to kill Fath…Odin…so it bothers me not."
Frigga nodded, "However, Helblindi I know very little of, as much as I know he is an advisor. To be honest dear, we would have to visit the realm to find these answers. You would have to speak to them."
"No," Loki shook his head fervently, "They would kill me on site, start a war that would only earn me death."
"You do not know that. Think, you are ever the diplomat, you always have been if you were to visit with them I'm sure they would hear you." She placed a hand to his cheek, "Son, this is the only way I know that you can learn more about yourself. Perhaps even make peace between the realms. But, I advise against it at this time, your father would know as soon as you entered the realm. Heimdel would know." And what she didn't vocalize was that her husband had been frightfully quiet as of late, had stopped questioning her trips to Midgard or anywhere else for that matter. And that was a cause for concern.
Loki managed to reign back his anger, "I must wait then, so…you found nothing...on my birth mother?"
Frigga's tilted her head in sympathy, taking both of his hands in hers', "No, my darling, but we will shine light on this."
"You are my mother," he suddenly croaked out of control, "Only you, always you."
"Of course, I would never think less," and he was gathered in her arms once more like some small, broken child, "What troubles you? Something else is bothering you."
"I know not," Loki trembled, "I feel, almost as if something is coming…or something is wrong…but I cannot pinpoint it. Sometimes I cannot control my magic, it will come in bursts or will not work at all. Perhaps I'm sick."
"You're exhausted, I can feel it, you haven't been sleeping well. Did you really truly believe you would recover what you have endured in but a few months? No, my love, you need to feel safe to feel stable."
"But this isn't the first time I've been in a troublesome situation"
"Not like this, and not when you're so obviously in love," she smiled, "I'd be a fool not to see it." before he could protest she was interrupting, "and I'm happy for you, it matters not, man or woman, just as long as they treat you right or I shall melt them. And you know I can."
This made Loki laugh, "You shouldn't worry, thank you Mother." He fell against her once more, not able to pinpoint why he was being so terribly emotional, but he buried his face against the softness of her throat and never wanted to leave.
Tony thought this would be a breaking point, speaking with Frigga. Loki had been in a relatively good mood the last couple of days. Moody of course, but then he was always moody. He was Loki. They'd only had one other incident where Barton had stopped by between missions and Loki had latched him into a harsh embrace apologizing over and over. It took Tony prying them apart to end it. Barton look flustered, merely patting Loki's arm and saying it was all 'cool' but Loki wouldn't let it go and he had brooded about it most of the afternoon. So Tony was happy that they had planned a movie night with Steve that Wednesday, and it was a happy distraction after all the drama. It was only Star Wars the perfect movie for the man out of time that had shit clue about modern culture, and then space god that knew just as much. They were hanging out before the movie of course, and Steve cooked food. They'd settled after dinner and Tony ordered a pizza, because of course he did, and beer, that Loki and Steve waited patiently in the living room quietly. Loki reading a book intensively as always across from the Captain and Steve sketching endlessly in his notepad like he always seemed to do. Unnoticed that was, by other team members, no one seemed to notice that Steve liked to draw. That under all that muscle he was an artist at heart.
"Steven? What are you working on tonight?" Loki asked, eyes finally up from his book.
"Oh, uh, nothing, I just always draw what I observe is all. Nothin' in particular,"
"Well, what is it?" and Loki closed his book, getting up from the couch and moving over to Steve.
"It's nothing much," he offered the book to Loki's open hands.
Loki sat down, the charcoal rendering was of himself, reading, "You made this of me?"
"Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry if that's weird, but see," he flipped the pages and all the Avengers were pegged in his drawings, all in perfect detail.
"You consider me worthy of your friends?" he asked, eyes suddenly wet.
Steve felt the lead heavy feel of guilt, "Well yeah Loki, you're one of us now," and then he didn't know what was happening but Loki had fallen to his shoulder, sobs erupting like invasive hiccups. And then he couldn't really help it, he looped an arm around Loki's shaking shoulders and pulled him close, "Why are you crying? It's okay,"
"I don't know what is wrong with me, I'm sorry,"
"No need to apologize, it's alright, I get it," he said, even though he wasn't at all sure what he was saying.
It was then that Tony entered the room, popcorn in hand as well as pizza and set them to the coffee table quickly, "Hey, hey, hey, what's this?"
Steve looked everything that was apologetic, "I-I don't know, I just showed him my drawings and he fell apart."
"He drew me, and it's not evil, I'm not an enemy," he muttered muted against Steve's shoulder.
"Well, baby, you're not an enemy," Tony tried to console as he sat down beside the two, he placed a hand on his arm.
"I swear Tony I didn't mean to…" Steve began.
"No, it's okay," Tony cut off.
Loki pulled away from Steve like he was stung, "My apologizes I don't know what came over me,"
"N-No it's fine, we all get ya know, kind of overwhelmed now and then," he stuttered.
"You alright?" Tony cut into Loki's spinning thoughts, face cradled in both hands.
"Y-Yes, I'm fine, perhaps I'm only tired,"
They finished their movie marathon and retired to bed with Steve shocked at Luke's parental status and Loki scoffing that he knew it all along. From there Loki promptly conked out like he hadn't slept in years. Arms out like wings and his cuddle power like nothing Tony had ever seen. He held him closer just because he felt the need to do so, "Loki, baby, you sure you're okay?"
"M'fine," he muttered, gathering Tony closer if that were even possible, kissing his throat.
"You've had me worried the last few days, that's all," Tony replied, pulling the blankets up higher to create the cocoon that Loki loved so much.
"Haven't been myself," was all he said.
Tony was about to ask what that was about but was only answered with snores, he carded fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. He scolded himself for thinking that everything would simply smooth out just because they had sex. And he was more than willing to work through those problems if Loki would only talk to him.
The next morning came with a loud clattering that sprung Tony from sleep, which prompted him from their bedroom.
He was faced with two very noble, gold clad soldiers, "We're here for Loki, former son of Odin"