Kendall's POV
"Is what I slept with Steph?" he demanded. I could tell he was getting frustrated and didn't want to even talk about it anymore, but I needed to know. I felt like I had a right to know what I had done wrong, other than push him away.
"Do you sleep with her because you hate me?" I asked quietly. I couldn't make myself look at him, mostly because I was afraid he wouldn't have to answer me.
"No."
"Then why did you do it?" I tried to keep my voice from sounding as pleading as I felt but I knew it came out just the same. He promised me he wouldn't cheat on me, he promised me he wouldn't use me as a pawn or a distraction, and he broke both those promises. My heart just wanted things to be okay again, it wanted things to be the way they were before everything with Punk. But my mind was telling me it wouldn't happen, my mind was telling me to think rationally and to protect myself better than I did with Alex.
"Because you weren't giving me what I needed," he answered with a shrug, "You closed yourself off to everyone and none of us knew what the hell was going on with you."
"I wasn't giving you what you needed? Do you mean emotionally? Because if I remember correctly you've been in my bed every night and most of those nights we haven't slept very much," I said.
"I may have been in our bed, but she's been in my office quite a few times. Only differences are that she gives me head and I use a condom with her," he shot back.
Finally, I'd heard enough. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, I walked out of the kitchen and upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms. Locking the door after slamming it shut, I lied down on the bed. John had to hate me if he could have said those things to me, if he could hurt me like that on purpose. He knew what he was doing the whole, his goal was to hurt me from the beginning, but I couldn't figure out why.
Was it because I'd kinda, sorta, not really lied to him about being on birth control? Was it to punish me for what Hunter did? Was it because Punk wanted me and I hadn't known? Nothing was making any sense anymore and my heart wouldn't stop hurting. I wanted the John that took Tiny and I on the cruise. I wanted the John that I'd fallen in love with, the one who promised to protect me. I wanted the John that called me Priceless. I wanted my Johnny back.
"Kendall open the damn door!" he yelled, from outside the room.
I shook my head, fully aware he couldn't see me. The tears in my eyes were getting closer and closer to falling over the edge. John shook the door hand before banging on it violently.
"Now Kendall!"
He was getting angrier the longer I made him stand out there but that didn't make me want to let him in any sooner. I didn't want to see him at all; I just wanted him to leave me alone. He'll go away eventually and when he does I'm not sticking around. I don't care what it takes, but I can't stay here and raise a child like this. I won't raise a child to think its okay for its dad to sleep around on its mom. I will not do it.
"Damn it, Kendall. I'm not kidding. Open the fucking door before I break it down!"
When I heard the first crack, I started getting scared. The second crack had me up and out of the bed, running for the closet. On the third crack, I knew he'd broken the door and was looking for me on the bed. It was stupid of me to hide in the closet because that was the next place he would look, he wasn't an idiot, but his yelling and banging was scaring me.
"Get out here," John growled from just outside the closet door.
"Please just go away," I whispered, feeling my whole body tremble.
"I just broke a door in my fucking house. Get out of that closet now and tell me why the hell you're so upset right now," he said angrily.
"I can't," I choked out.
He banged his fist against the door in frustration, "Damn it Kendall. Just get out here and talk to me. Why do you always have such a hard time talking to me?"
"It doesn't matter anymore John."
How can I tell him that I want him to love me? You don't just tell a person that and now with him sleeping around with Stephanie- I shook my head. It's not possible to open my heart to him now. John will never love me back, so I need to find a way to stop my heart from loving him.
I laid down on the floor, curling up into a ball, and finally let myself cry. With my eyes closed tight, I tried to block everything out. I was probably overreacting, I was probably being overdramatic, but as the tears fell from my eyes and the sobs wracked my body, I could literally feel all of the emotion and tension I'd been holding in over the past three months release. For once, I didn't care if John heard me crying, he was the ultimate cause of it. I just wanted out.
John's POV
I waited until I heard her crying soften; I knew then that she was either sleeping or too exhausted to fight back. The only thing I didn't understand was why she was crying. I mean, I get that she's hurt from what we did to her with the whole Punk situation. But she needs to realize that I didn't want to do it. I had no choice in the matter, I told them no.
When I opened the closet, she was on the floor with her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach. A sense of pride flooded through me when she told me she was pregnant, I never thought that she cheated on me. I'm actually pretty sure she isn't capable of cheating on me. Partially because she is afraid of the consequences, but also because on some level she has feelings for me. She's fighting them though, that's why she keeps closing herself off to me. It's why she won't fully open herself to me.
Carefully, I picked her up off the floor and carried her from the guest room being mindful of the broken pieces of wood. I wasn't as angry as I was worried when I broke the door. I wasn't exactly sure what she was doing or planning on doing and I didn't want her to hurt herself. I carried her to our bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Kissing her on the forehead, I went to walk away but her hand caught my wrist. When I looked back at her, her eyes were still closed.
"Hold me," she whispered, a tear falling down her face, "Please lay here and hold me Johnny."
"Okay, baby," I nodded, climbing in bed with her and taking her in my arms.
I'm not sure how long we laid there; I know for sure that Kendall fell asleep. Her breathing was deep and slow, her chest rising. She was lying on her back with one of my arms under her head; my other was resting on her stomach. Time came back to me, however, when I heard Tiny yell up the stairs, telling Kendall that she was home from school.
The yelling startled Kendall, her breathing sped up but she wasn't fully awake. I watched as her eyelids fluttered a bit, trying to bring her back to reality.
"Cold," Kendall moaned softly.
I rubbed her arm closest to me, "It's time to get up, baby. Tiny just got home. We've been up here for a while."
"Johnny?" she asked her voice heavy with sleep and confusion.
"Yeah, it's me. You fell asleep in the closet. I didn't think you'd want to stay there, so I brought you here," I explained.
"You stayed?"
"You asked me to," I answered with a shrug.
In all honesty, I never cheated on her. Money will make people do a lot of things, like Stephanie telling Kendall that we slept together. We didn't. I just wanted to get her back somehow, and I thought that by making her jealous she'd come back. Apparently it only made things worse.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure you had other things you could've been doing today. You didn't have to stay," she said as she sat up.
"I didn't have anything to do today. I had the day off work and no other plans," I told her shaking my head.
"Oh," was her reply. She picked at the loose strings of the comforter on our bed nervously. It felt as if she was, I don't know, afraid of me I guess. She wouldn't look at me, would barely talk to me, and was just very anxious.
"Kendall, what's wrong?" I asked, slowly.
She took a deep breath, "I can't stay here," she replied quietly, "I'm sorry. I know what you said last night and I guess I'll have to deal with you calling my father, but I just can't."
"Why not? What's telling you that you can't stay here?" I demanded, trying to keep my anger at bay. When she shook her head and mumbled something about how I wouldn't be able understand, I got frustrated, "How do you know I won't understand if you don't even tell me? The only thing you say is that you can't stay here. That tells me nothing!"
"I j-just feel l-like you d-don't c-care. I can't stay here if you d-don't c-care ab-bout me," she finally said.
"Have I ever told you I don't care?"
"Yes," she answered quickly, when I looked at her in confusion she continued, "I told you I didn't want kids, you said you didn't care. There have been a few other times too, I just can't think of them off the top of my head."
"That may be true," I admitted, "But I never said I didn't care about you, as a person. I only said that I didn't care that you don't want kids."
"You're not helping yourself," she muttered.
"Kendall, I'm trying to have a legit conversation with you right now. Please don't start with the snarky comments, I really don't want to fight again," I sighed.
"You're right," she relented, "I'm sorry."
"Now, listen when I tell you that I do care for you. If I didn't then I wouldn't have fined everyone who was involved in the Punk set up half a million dollars," I blurted out.
"You did what?"
"I fined all of them, even McMahon and my own dad. I didn't want it to happen, Kendall. They had an emergency meeting as soon as Sam and Alanna came up missing. Sean and I were reached by phone and they told us that because we were not physically at the meeting we could not have final say. And I know Randy told you this same thing, but I fought tooth and nail against the operation. I will swear on anything," I explained.
"Half a million dollars? John that's a lot of money-"
"Kendall they promised me you wouldn't get hurt," I said, "They swore to me that nothing would happen to you but you ended up in the hospital with more than just a concussion. I wasn't about to just let that go. Someone had to pay for it, other than you."
Kendall stared at me like a fish out of water for about ten minutes before she finally found the words to say, "Thank you, Johnny."
Smiling at the thought of her calling me Johnny when she was completely awake, I pulled her towards me and into my arms. At first she tensed but she relaxed quickly and wrapped her arms around my neck. "You're welcome Priceless."