25. Only Hope

The putrid smell stung my nostrils. There was so much blood on the bed. One arm was slung outward, as if sloppily reaching for the floor.

I shrieked at Ms. Faraday's body. I normally wouldn't react this way. I would normally throw up, but this was Poona. Right now, I was Poona, which was weird, but I didn't have time to adjust to the sensation.

I scampered backward with a whimper and flew out of the room with blinding fear, running right into the couch—the one where Rochelle—I? (Thiswassoweird.)—had just thrown up. My thoughts blended with Poona's and what I was truly thinking and feeling felt like it was in the back of my head, a mere murmur in the background of all that was happening.

"You should calm down." Chewy focused his black eyes on me. I screamed so loudly that I couldn't hear him. Rochelle—I, whatever—joined in, and we started running around in circles.

"Poona!" A ridged tail whipped me backward. Poona's thoughts overrode my own with an aghast cry of, Did he just hit me?! That was rude…

I once again stared into those too-calm-to-be-normal eyes, but I couldn't sit still as he said, "I'm sorry, but you need to stop or you're going to lose your head. You've never seen a dead body before?"

"You have?" I cried in disbelief. What else do I not know about him?

I looked toward the wall to see my human body leaning against it, barely breathing rhythmically. Chelly… I stepped worriedly toward her—err, myself, but Chewy drew me back to him by clacking his teeth.

"It's okay. Whoever they are…they're in a better place."

"You can't prove that!" I protested, waving a paw frantically. "You don't know that! Have you been there? Was it nice? How would you know?"

"Don't be scared. Poona, please. It'll be okay."

His voice distorted into a faraway whisper. The world shifted, and the colors merged to a different landscape—one in which my body was now running without any destination in mind. Unremitting, the panic throbbed from inside me, while the urge to tame it drove me onward. I felt unbearably hot under the sun's first appearance in weeks, but I was too eager to escape the threat Ms. Faraday's death suddenly imposed.

Poona's thoughts shouted mine into silence. Who would do that? Someone mean…Someone cruel…But who? Why? Poor Ms. Faraday. No one deserves that. No one!

My paws guided me where they wanted to until someone jumped out in front of me, slamming me backward. I rolled all over the ground and moaned in pain, shaking my head as I rose back to my feet.

"Ow," I said simply, as I stared into the undeniably fierce brown eyes of a furret. He was larger than me and had wider paws, which he proved by scratching me on my side.

I recoiled in pain, watching him fearfully. If I was in my own body, I wouldn't have tolerated this. I would have slashed him back. But Poona was sweeter than I was—more merciful when it came to fighting.

"You're a trained pokémon. Don't even talk to me!" the furret spat. He raised his paws again but placed them down when he saw I wasn't making a move.

"What's wrong with being a trained pokémon?" I asked, cocking my head. I winced. "You didn't have to hit me…That really hurt." That was when I started to feel an ache in my core, beyond the stinging of the scratches. The soreness came from the sudden rush of sadness inside of me. Poona was upset that he'd hit her for no reason and had acted so hostilely toward her. I, on the other hand, was pissed, though I couldn't express it within Poona's memories.

"I had to hurt you…because you're hurting yourself," he replied smoothly, as if that even made sense.

"…Huh?"

"Don't you get it? Humans are selfish creatures that pretend to care for you when they really don't. You're not helping yourself by being with them."

I blinked slowly and cocked my head, watching him as the aggravation in his eyes dimmed. "…Have you ever had a human?"

"…No, but—"

"Then how do you know? You don't know Chelly. She's my best friend. Maybe you wouldn't be so mean if you had one." If I wasn't experiencing Poona's memories, I would have thrown myself on top of her to give her a big hug for saying that.

The furret straightened proudly, shaking his head. "I know enough to see sadness all around me. I've seen too many stolen from their homes and their families. Have you ever even met your family? Your father? Your mother?"

"My father and mother?" I paused, suddenly guilty. I felt this within both of our thoughts. I had never let Poona go and find her parents. Now that I could feel Poona's guilt, it made me feel even worse. "No, I haven't…"

"You've never met them, so you don't know how amazing they could be. Your humans stole you from them. You don't even want to look for them?"

I bowed my head, smudging the dirt with one paw. I felt Poona's reluctance to admit he was right. "…I guess I'll go look for them then."

The furret laughed. The casualness of it seemed to disguise the bitterness. Poona couldn't hear it, but I could.

"What's so funny?"

"You think she's your friend, but she isn't. You honestly think the human will let you go and look for them? Don't count on it. When it comes down to her or you, she'll pick herself. Humans always do." I could see the arrogance shining in his eyes, but from Poona's thoughts she couldn't see it. To her, it looked as if they were shining with something he knew that she didn't—like some kind of secret.

"…You're mean and you're wrong." There was iron in my voice, but I could feel how Poona really was. She felt indecisive, and it pained her to feel that way. It pained me to realize that this dude had actually gotten to her. He definitely wasn't right…right?

"I'm practical and I'm right," the furret snapped and glared. He looked ready to dig a grave and bury me for disagreeing with him, but he paused. "Tell you what…when you realize that I'm right, then you can come find me and I'll help you look for your family."

I blinked. Poona and I both thought this dude was bipolar. First he's a jerk, and then he's nice? I didn't get to open my mouth to express my confusion, though.

"Come find me. I'll be near the pond."

"There are a lot of ponds," I said quietly. He turned away as I spoke. "Wait…what's your name?"

"You can learn it when you come find me," he said without facing me. Then he bolted for the nearest route, fleeing my sight.

The scene blurred. We were in my room now. Tears profusely escaped my eyes. If I tried to swallow, I would undoubtedly choke.

A figure appeared by me, but I couldn't see them. The room was too dark, and I was crying too hard.

"H-here, Poona! Berries! Poona…please don't cry."

I had to relive it. I had to relive the moment in which I'd made Poona cry so hard that she refused berries, her absolute favorite snack—the substance that I could say she honestly lived for. The sobs were so wretched that it felt like I was throwing up instead of crying. It felt as if disappointment had gouged out my insides until there was nothing but a lonely emptiness and a tempest of tears.

"I-I'm not hungry," I heard myself say through tremulous sobs.

It was awful that I had to see all of this again and experience my failures at comfort as I felt Poona's deep sadness, disappointment, and defeat. Through all of it, I could sense her realization that the furret had been right. The best friend she had grown up with and loved hadn't chosen to help her.

Stupid. I was so stupid.

The room brightened. I was standing in front of the door to my room, trying to open it with clumsy paws as I elevated myself with my tail. When I managed to get the door open, I turned around and stared at the sleeping figure on the bed, whose limbs were tossed uncaringly with a long line of drool dripping from her mouth. Sleeping Beauty could only dream about looking as good as I did right then.

"I'm going to miss you, Chelly," I said, as I went to lick the hand dangling off the bed. My eyes blurred with tears as I went out of the room to the kitchen.

Poona had said goodbye. I just hadn't been awake to hear it.

I went all the way to the kitchen where Jacoby groggily treaded, feeding his pokémon. The first two members of his team I saw were Chewy and Preen, but all around them was the rest of his pokémon, except Goober, who had to be fed separately.

I reached Chewy and whispered, as he finished chewing some pebbled food, "I'm going to leave soon."

"…What?" Chewy's eyes widened as he took another mouthful of food. "Poona, you can't leave. Not yet. Where will you go?"

"I met another furret, like me," I began to explain. I told him the whole story and how guilty and wrong I felt, especially after my plans were rejected. I told him about how I was only going to search for my family and the furret was going to help me.

"…For how long?" Chewy asked quietly. He refused his food shortly, watching me with careful, concerned eyes. From behind him, I saw Preen stop pecking at her food to stare at us with suspicious eyes. I smiled at her. It worked because she went back to eating, but her eyes still followed us. I wasn't sure if she was listening or watching or both.

"For as long as it takes me to find them."

Chewy finished off the last of his food and shook his head. "Poona…do you trust this guy? How do you know he's safe?"

"…I don't," I admitted. I felt Poona's sudden surge of humiliation at being too trusting. She had started to realize the stupidity of it.

"Then why follow him? This could be a trap. You shouldn't trust people like that."

"…I have to find my parents," I answered quietly. I felt tears prick my eyes as I lowered my head with a sniffle. "I don't know them. I've never met them. Did you meet your parents?"

"…Yes," he whispered and stepped forward, licking my cheek comfortingly. Poona seemed to appreciate his reassurance, but I was wailing in disapproval at this act, wanting to rip out Chewy's whiskers and wishing I could go back in time to do so. "I was three months old when Jacoby caught me…but I'm happy he did. My parents…were unkind. I had so many brothers and sisters, so my parents never took care of me. They let me go after two weeks."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said sympathetically, and then paused. "Do you think…my parents did that to me?"

"If you don't remember anything, it's likely you were taken," Chewy responded. His eyes were harsh this time, and his whiskers twitched, as if in annoyance. "I want to go with you, but I don't think Jacoby will let me."

"Why not?" I asked, looking over as Jacoby started calling back his pokémon. He had just put Litmus the quagsire away, who had fallen asleep with his head in his food bowl.

"He can't even let Goober go," Chewy remarked bitterly as Jacoby finished putting all of his pokémon in his pokéballs. He faced Chewy now, holding up the ball questioningly.

"Chewy, do you want to go back in your ball?"

"No, I'm fine. I want to be with Poona," Chewy replied, to which Jacoby smiled and nodded, coming down to pet Chewy atop the head. Chewy relished the touch before Jacoby withdrew and strode past, sitting down on the couch to watch TV. In a few short minutes, there were snores.

"He doesn't know how much I hate Goober. Or he does…but he doesn't care," Chewy said in a low voice, angrily staring at the floor.

I felt how taken aback Poona was at his anger. The words of the unknown furret went through my mind, reminding me of how selfish humans were.

"Are you mad at him?" I asked carefully.

"Only because he won't let Goober go. Jacoby's my friend…but he doesn't notice that this team is falling apart. It's all Goober's fault. We were happy without him, but Jacoby thinks we need him." Chewy sighed heavily and then looked directly into my eyes, holding my gaze with an edge of sadness. "Enough about me. When are you leaving?"

I looked behind me toward the hallway and saw my room with the door slightly cracked open. I could sense Poona's reluctance and desperation clash, and it honestly hurt. The rivaling emotions dueled and wounded me with indecision.

"…I need to go soon," I whispered. I walked to the hallway and then to my room.

My eyes avoided the figure on the bed as I lowered my head to pick up the berry bag with my mouth.

Poona's rationalizations entered my mind. Something yummy for my tummy! And a reason to come back. I won't be gone forever. When I find my parents, I'll let them meet Chelly. And then she can refill this with berries…

She had planned to come back so that she could at least return the berry bag. Was Meredith's capture what prevented her from returning? Did she ever find her parents?

I went back out into the hallway with the bag in my mouth. Chewy appeared with a sad expression. I felt my face mirroring it, but I channeled the emotions into the grip I had on the bag, clenching my teeth tighter.

"I can get Jacoby to let you out, if you'd like."

At that moment, Trevor walked past us, putting his hoodie over his head. I watched him pass as he ambled through the living room to the kitchen. He bit into an apple as he exited again, this time heading for the front door.

"Wait!"

I scurried after him with Chewy directly behind me. I pawed at Trevor's leg, making him flinch and turn around to stare at me curiously.

"…You need to go outside?" He opened the front door, leaving it open enough for me to go out first.

I turned around to face Chewy. It was safe to talk since Trevor didn't know Pokéspeech. "I'll miss you. Take care of Chelly."

"If something is even a little off, come back," Chewy said and stepped forward to lick me once again on the cheek. I could feel Poona flutter in happiness, while I truly felt a combination of disgust and rage bubbling in the back of my head. That raticate was going to get it when I was done experiencing Poona's memories.

"Goodbye, Poona."

"Bye, Chewy."

I slipped through the door as Trevor stepped out onto the porch with me. Surprisingly, Lillian was standing there, scaring me so badly I almost peed myself on the spot. Trevor greeted her as she held out a book. I didn't realize they were having play-dates and neither did Poona.

As they started talking, I bolted straight from the porch onto the pathway that would lead me to the route. When my body stilled, I was suddenly staring down into my reflection. The pond glittered innocently as I observed its lulled stillness. It was the same pond that I had been staring at on the day I found Chimley.

"You came."

I spun around at the voice, jumping onto my tail as if doing so could slow my pounding heart. The furret approached me calmly with a poliwhirl behind him, both watching me as if they expected me to move or say something.

Finding my voice, I said with forced cheeriness, "Hi there! Uh…what's your name again?"

The furret laughed and smiled—the first sincere sign of happiness that I'd seen from him. "It's Furor. And you are?"

I smiled back easily. "Poona."

The poliwhirl crossed his beefy arms and nodded his head at me. "Abel."

"Nice to meet you guys!" I said in a song-song voice.

Furor bounded up to me with a smile, saying with something akin to pride, "Did I tell you I could do it, Abe, or what?"

"Yeah, you did it. Now you're going to have to get more. Don't get cocky now," Abel said, rolling his eyes at Furor's unusual happiness.

I was as confused as Poona felt, but I knew something was weird here. Something was wrong…Why wasn't Poona able to sense that?

"So," I said, after a silence in which Furor seemed to weirdly dance in place, "how am I going to find my parents?"

Furor stopped and looked at me with serious eyes. "First, we'll search the camp and see if anyone's baby was taken from them. We'll start there."

There was only one word I caught from that, and Poona caught it, too. "Camp?"

"Yes." Furor grinned and turned around, as a number of pokémon walked out from the trees, talking quietly between one another in fascinated murmurs. "Welcome to the Freedom Fighters."

I felt Poona's confusion continue, but I knew, with a pinprick of dread, what was going on. I knew what he was talking about.

Didn't Keane mention something about pokémon revolutions?

Everything started occurring in flashes. I was introduced to many pokémon, all of which happily greeted me and welcomed me to the Freedom Fighters. Poona didn't seem to realize it, but I noticed that practically everyone was a foreign pokémon. What did this mean? Did this mean they had purposely come in with the foul weather all of those months ago? If they were all rebelling against humanity, why hadn't they done anything yet?

In the next flash, I was interrogating many furrets within the Freedom Fighters, asking if any of them had lost babies. Almost all of them had, but none of them seemed to recognize Poona as their own. They could tell by the scent, they had said, which one was theirs. Poona wasn't anyone's.

Another flash. Furor pawed past me with a smile, despite my obvious sadness. I slumped while sitting on the ground, unable to shoo the uninvited misery.

"Furor…they're not here," I said, trying very hard not to cry as I swept the ground with my paws.

In that moment, I was staring down at the berry bag. All of the berries were gone. Through Poona's thoughts, I learned that she had only gotten one out of the berries she had brought with her. The Freedom Fighters had forced her to share, and soon they were all gone. Only the bag was left. Did this mean we were near New Bark Town, where I'd found the bag?

"You know what this means?"

I shook my head.

He was stone-faced as his eyes gained a fierce light. "That means they could be captured."

"But…they could be with anyone then," I realized. I could feel how horrorstruck Poona was by the possibility of inspecting every trainer's pokémon. While I experienced Poona's emotions, I remained unconvinced by Furor's words, realizing how manipulative he was. If only I could have showed this to Poona before she went through all of his bullshit.

"Exactly." He looked at me seriously, his tail whipping from behind him. "Poona…in order to find your parents…you'll have to become a part of the Freedom Fighters. You can help us, and we'll help you."

"How can I help?" I asked quietly.

"We're trying to get as many pokémon as we can right now. Help us get more pokémon."

"What will happen after that?"

Furor grinned. "You'll see. It'll take a while to get more pokémon. We'll have to start taking pokémon from their trainers."

"What?" I shook my head in resistance, shocked by the possibility. "That's…so mean, though."

"It's not mean! Do you know what those humans did? They stole them away! So we're going to steal them back." Furor watched me, analyzing me for my reactions, as to how I would respond to his words. My eyes were dangerously wide—I knew that. I wished I was actually in control of Poona's body so that I could make her calmer, more contained. "We'll only kill humans if they resist."

A picture of me went through my mind, as if Poona was trying to say, Rochelle would resist.

I stepped back anxiously as Furor's eyes narrowed, following my every move. "…Furor, I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home."

"You are home. This is your home now." He took a step toward me, backing me up against a tree, which I curled up against out of uncontainable fright. "Why are you so afraid? You shouldn't be. You have no reason to be afraid…as long as you stay here."

My eyes were closed incredibly tightly, so I didn't see what he meant by that. "W-what do you mean?"

His voice sounded like it could drill through bones. "If you leave, I'll find you and I'll kill your human."

I opened my eyes, surprised when my voice boldly shouted, "She didn't do anything to you!"

Furor shrugged his paws. "She owned you like you were a piece of property. I'm only concerned about you, Poona. You need to let go of her because she doesn't care about you. You're too attached still." He looked down at the berry bag mercilessly, scuffing it with his paw. "Is it because of this?"

"No…It's because she's my best friend, and you don't know how it is because you never had a human," I protested in a whisper. This whole conversation was killing me to experience. I had no idea Poona had been through this much terrible stuff. I had no idea she was roped into a pokémon revolution and threatened by one of the members.

Furor laughed bitterly, not trying to hide it this time. His face was practically touching mine. Poona had the same urge I had: she wanted to smack him in the face, but neither of us could move—more so me than her because I was the one trapped in her memory of the event.

"You're wrong, Poona. I did have a human. I also killed that human." His voice dropped to a whisper. "So don't think I won't kill yours as well." Furor dug a hole into the ground and buried the berry bag by kicking dirt over it. "You won't need this anymore. As soon as you can let go of this, the sooner you can let go of your human."

There were so many flashes. Days seemed to travel by at light-speed. Poona conversed with so many different pokémon, some merely to talk to and others to recruit for the Freedom Fighters. She never managed to recruit another member. She was too feeble and unconvincing when trying to talk to them.

This was what she had been doing for months. She had been restrained by Furor and the duties of the Freedom Fighters. The other Freedom Fighters seemed to be nicer in comparison to Furor, though it made me wonder if he was only that harsh to her because he had recruited her. He acted like he alone was in charge of her.

The memories continued until I guessed it was months later. In this one, I was running at such an outrageous, desperate speed that the wind should have ripped off all of my fur. I could hear Poona's voice chanting continuously in her thoughts, spiraling through my mind.

I gotta leave. I gotta find Chelly. I gotta go home.

Somewhere from behind me, there was a low-pitched squeal, accompanied by a roar. Panic consumed me, and I was running in seemingly any direction. I stopped when I saw a familiar clump—the berry bag buried shallowly in the dirt. Poona had wanted to grab it and return it when she was reunited with me. Those were the thoughts that I heard as I skittered to a stop.

I tried to hide behind a tree, but they saw me. It was Furor and another pokémon—a hulking purple one that Poona was unfamiliar with. I knew it as a nidoking.

"Please!" I wailed, attempting to climb up the tree. The nidoking's massive claws swung me down, slamming me into the ground. Pain rippled through me, while dots flooded my vision. I squeaked out through the unthinkable dizziness, "Leave me alone…please…"

This hurt for me to watch. I couldn't bear it. I wanted to exit the memory. I wanted to leave so I didn't have to see anymore. But I realized something very important. As I watched and felt Furor and the nidoking hit me—hit Poona until it was impossible to move, I realized how much pain and suffering Poona had experienced for all of the time she had been gone.

I thought I had it bad, but all I did was mope around, snap at everything that moved, and go through a depression that made me want to do nothing at all. How did Poona handle this? How did my cute, lovable furret live through this? How did she manage to smile after this happened to her?

The beating stopped. I couldn't open my eyes. I was in too much pain to move or do anything.

"You shouldn't have done what you did, Poona," Furor hissed. It sounded like he was drifting further away, like the wind was carrying him. It was getting harder to hear. "You helped that human. You let them take Abel. You had no right. He was my friend. Why did you do it?"

A memory lapsed through my mind. Abel was speaking lowly, confessing to Poona his fears about the revolution—his fears about how bloodthirsty some of the members were. He wanted to fight for a real cause—not for pokémon like Furor, who manipulated others to get his way and aimed to take down humans regardless of what they did. He had called the Freedom Fighters corrupt and claimed it had changed from its original goal.

So Poona had helped him get away by luring a human to his location and standing by as Abel was caught. It was what he wanted. He wanted to get away and, shockingly, he wanted a human.

But Furor didn't know that and he didn't care. When he found out, he'd tried pursuing the human. Poona had helped the boy flee by leading him to a pokémon center and fighting Furor off when he came near. For some reason, the Freedom Fighters wouldn't trespass human territory. They never said why, but they would hurry away when they saw they were nearing human houses and towns. It was weird, considering they were supposed to be fighting humans.

I couldn't respond. Somehow I was aware of the fact that I was nearly unconscious. Pain seared through me, but it felt more powerful than scratches and gashes—like there was something else hurting me, making me never want to move again.

Furor's cruel voice was right by my ear now. "Maybe we should bury you with that bag since you love it so much."

"Just leave her, Furor. The poison will make her faint. Give her a couple of hours after that and she'll be dead," the nidoking said coldly. That was what it was. I was poisoned.

When they departed, the atmosphere morphed and the pain was gone. I was staring at a familiar face now with the biggest smile I'd ever seen. She had such kind eyes—or, at least, that was how Poona saw them.

"I hope you're feeling better," Meredith said, raising her hand to pet me on top of the head. "Can I call you Sylvia? Is that okay with you?"

I nodded slowly, though I wished I hadn't. I wished Poona wasn't so willing to be nicknamed. It made me think she was being branded.

I felt Poona's relief. There was an inkling of happiness there, too, and it honestly made me a little grateful to Meredith that she'd saved Poona. If Meredith hadn't, Poona would be dead. But I still disliked this and where it was going.

Meredith introduced me to Kayla, her chikorita, and started talking about her plans.

"We're going to challenge Falkner in Violet City, but we have to get there first. We'll need your help. Since we're a team now, we're going to have to work hard. Is that okay?"

I nodded eagerly. I felt Poona's joy at the thought of returning to Violet City, but there was a painful reluctance, too.

If Rochelle sees me, she'll be mad. She'll think I betrayed her. Does she miss me? Maybe not…

These thoughts left as I stared at Meredith and felt my face brighten at her pleasant smile.

She saved me. She's like an angel!

And there Poona went—framing Meredith into a picture of perfection. Through my displeasure I mockingly envisioned a halo above her head and a pair of wings on her back.

As my mind withdrew from Poona's in a swirling mixture of uncertainty, joy, and relief, I began to feel my own emotions again—a torrent of anger and shame intermingled with wonder.

I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but I had already started thinking about how I was going to clip the wings of the angel that had saved Poona. How I was going to get Poona back from the girl that had accidentally reunited us in the first place.

The only problem I could think of was how I was going to do it without prompting a police investigation.