Disclaimer: Despite all my hard work, no, none of the non-OC characters here are mine. ALSO JK ROWLING HAS ANNOUNCED THAT THE CURSED CHILD IS A SEQUEL WHAT

So Far: One year ago, a pink teddy bear named Melody was stolen from Lily Evans by Severus Snape. Somehow, this (combined with several other odd occurrences during the year) triggered a chain reaction which a. caused Lily and Sirius Black to become best friends, b. Marlene and James to start dating, c. Benjy Fenwick and Mary McDonald to be Lily's second-closest friends, and d. Dorcas to start dating Cameron despite having no feelings for him whatsoever. Instead, as a matter of fact, Dorcas has feelings for Marlene. The two have kissed, but Marlene and James still got back together after their short-term break (up). James and Lily are super weird around each other right now.

Also, in case you somehow missed it, there's a war going on against this crazy racist loon who calls himself Lord Voldemort.

Chapter 24

Or

Of the Difference a Year Makes, Part 1

Or

Of Sacrifice

It had all happened so fast. One moment, it was Easter, next moment, they were having their end of year exams, and then the trees were all green and bearing fruit, and the sun was shining from between the typical clouds, and then it was the last day of school, and they were packing again.

Lily couldn't help but think of how different her life was just one year ago.

No Sirius, for one. Sirius didn't start until the summer. Arguably, until the train.

No Mary or Benjy, either.

And she was still so angry at Severus. It consumed her. It was always at the back of her mind, no matter what was going on. She barely thought of him anymore.

No doubt, life was much better now. The different a year makes.

Besides, packing didn't seem as horrible when she had Melody to keep her company.

"Done packing?" Lily asked as she sat down in her favorite chair by the fireplace.

"Couldn't do it fast enough," said Sirius. He was looking at the fire, not at her, as if consumed by it, as if trying to blind himself. "It's an odd feeling."

"Are you still planning to stay in your own apartment?"

He shrugged. "No real reason why not. I'm seventeen, y'know. Perfectly legal. And James can come visit me anytime."

"But won't you miss… the rest of it?" asked Lily. She didn't have to explain what she meant.

He shrugged again, and Lily thought she knew what he meant. Yes, but. Yes, but maybe I don't deserve it. Yes, but maybe it's time I find my own path. Yes, yes, yes, but. She knew nothing she could say would change his mind, so instead she said, "Where's everybody? The common room is practically empty."

"I think that James and Marlene are canoodling somewhere," Remus replied, flippantly, appearing suddenly and sitting down beside them. "Peter's still packing."

"That doesn't explain the rest of the student body."

"Sure it does," said Remus. "The entire student body is either packing or canoodling."

"Please, Remus, I beg of you," said Sirius, "stop using that word."

"Which one? Student? I know you're allergic to studying, but surely not to the concept. Though maybe you're just jealous you have no one to canoodle – " Remus was cut short by Sirius jumping him. Forced to defend himself from Sirius' relentless attack, he grabbed a pillow and began hitting right back. Lily rolled her eyes, but didn't stop the fight. "Oh!" Remus yelled, smiling widely, avoiding getting hit as best is he could. "Did you mean you wanted me to stop saying canoodling?"

"I can't believe I used to think you were the mature one," said Lily. From the corner of her eye, she saw Dorcas leave the dorms; right behind her was Mary, who headed in her direction.

"He is the mature one," said Sirius.

"If that's true," said Mary, "then all hope is lost. Finished packing?"

"Yeah," said Remus and Lily.

"I even don't have to look for Melody and shout at Sev- Snape," said Lily.

Sirius nodded. "Progress." This pause cost him, however, as he was tackled from behind by Remus.

Lily shook her head, and Mary sighed. "Boys," they said together, sharing an exasperated look.

The conversation continued. They were joined, later, by Peter, Alice and Frank, and Sirius suggested – for old times' sake – that they have a party.

"A party," repeated Frank, looking doubtful.

"A party!" said Peter enthusiastically.

"Oh c'mon, Head Boy," said Sirius. "It'll be fun. It's the last day you'll ever be at Hogwarts. You don't have any tests tomorrow, you know. It'll just be us, a bottle of Firewhiskey – "

"We're not supposed to have alcohol at school," said Frank.

"Well, teenagers aren't supposed to be this stuck up, but you know – " he saw the look Lily shot at him and quickly apologized. "I didn't mean it. I'm just – this is the last day. Next year is our last year. Last year around this time I was hunting for a teddy bear. Look at the difference a year makes! We should celebrate!"

"I cannot believe I'm saying this," said Lily, "but I think that a bit of drinking will do us good."

"I don't know," said Alice hesitantly. At this point, it was obvious that only Frank and Alice were on the fence, and even they were leaning towards yes; it didn't take much more convincing for the couple to give in, and Sirius leapt up the steps to the boys' dorms, two a time.

The party was held, obviously, at the top of the astronomy tower. Somewhere along the ordeal, it had become a whole thing, and was not limited just to the seven-member group that had come up with it. The supply of booze, enchanted to be unending, was being used by at least fifty people, most of them upperclassmen, most of them Gryffindor, but not all. Someone had managed to magick some music, most of it unfamiliar to Lily, and the dancing – though awkward and sweaty – was lively. She was sitting near Frank, Alice and Benjy – who had joined them almost immediately – but, as she was not listening to their conversation, was keeping a bit of a distance. Instead, she was watching from behind a table next to the railing, focusing on Sirius talking to several girls and boys, not staying in one part of the roof for more than a couple of minutes, looking energized like she hasn't seen him in a long time.

"He looks happy, doesn't he?"

It was James. She should have known he'd appear sometime. Leaning against the railing with her, he was holding a cup of something that was probably a lot stronger than the pumpkin juice she had in hers. He was so nonchalantly beautiful, so casually handsome. She felt guilty the moment she thought it. There weren't many things that were off limits to Lily Evans, but James Potter was definitely one of them. She wished she had been worthy of his friendship earlier in the year; she wished she hadn't been as shitty a person to him as she had been over the past six years. But she also knew there was nothing to be done about it; the past was in the past.

She startled from her thoughts, realizing that James was still expecting an answer. She turned to look away from him and said, "Yeah, he does. He's good with people, when he wants to be."

"He is."

"Where's Marlene?" Lily asked, casually, as if it didn't matter. As if she was just asking for the whereabouts of her old friend.

He shrugged. "Didn't feel like partying. I think she went to sleep early."

"Huh," Lily said, because there wasn't much else to say. It seemed like everybody else was here. Even Tally was sitting with her group of oddballs, looking drained and tired, all drinking wildly.

After a bit of time had passed, Lily gathered the courage to ask: "So – you and Marlene – you're good now, right? Like, better?"

He shrugged again, and took a sip from his cup. "I guess. I mean – it's good. I like it. It's great." He drank again. "I guess it's just the end of the year, and I don't know how well we'll function during the summer. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"You look very happy together," Lily said honestly.

"We are. The future's just sort of vague right now."

"You – you heard about the – right?"

Lily winced as she said the words. James dropped his voice and said, "Yeah," his tone something she'd never heard from him before. "It was awful. My mother told me – told me all about it. She has connections in the Ministry."

A number of Ministry officials had been found dead in their homes last week. They were all vocally against the 'new trace' laws and pro-Muggleborn rights. It had been covered pretty extensively and not even just in The Prophet; it was in gossip columns and on the radio, and it was spoken about in hushed whispers in the halls and in loud discussions in the common rooms. It was inescapable. It was the horror of the war.

"The future looks pretty clear to me," Lily said. "And most of what I see is black with war."

"The war's been going on for years now," James said.

Lily nodded. James sat down, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He didn't push her away. "But I don't see the end of it coming any time soon."

"Dorcas!" said Cameron, delighted. He was dressed entirely in red and gold, and seemed to glow. "You came!"

"I said I'd come, didn't I? Do you think I'm a liar?" she replied with a frown. She was still wearing her school robes.

"No," said Cam quickly. "C'mon, have a drink."

"I'll get it myself, thanks." And she went looking for a drink.

Instead, she found Lily and James.

They were partially hidden, and the area was not crowded, but Dorcas could see everything clearly enough. Lily seemed to be asleep, resting peacefully on James' shoulder despite the loud music. Her features were calm and beautiful, and it seemed that Dorcas wasn't the only one who thought so. James was watching the red head on his shoulder intently, as if he was in awe. As if he was afraid of the moment it would leave. He looked altogether too comfortable with having Lily on his arm. He looked happy. He looked – he looked in love.

Dorcas turned around and ran away.

"I don't believe you," said Marlene.

Dorcas folded her arms. "Why the hell not?" Her eyes blazed dangerously.

"Because," Marlene said. "He's my boyfriend. And he's just – not the type to do something like that. He wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be with me."

"I saw his face, Mar," Dorcas said. "I saw it. It's not nothing. It's – it was the face of someone in love. It was like – " She stopped abruptly.

"Like what, Dorcas?" asked Marlene, venomously.

After a moment's hesitation, Dorcas confessed to the truth: "He looked the way you did the night you kissed me."

And now it was out there. They had managed to go months without mentioning it, skirting around it carefully every moment of their lives, and it was all ruined. Dorcas regretted mentioning it immediately.

"So that's what this is about?" asked Marlene, the venom only stronger now. Dorcas flinched. "The fact that you kissed me months ago? The fact that you're jealous?"

"I'm not jealous!" Dorcas cried, but it was a lie. It stung that the first thing that Marlene did after kissing Dorcas was get back together with James. It hurt that they'd pretended as if nothing had happened. It hurt that she had to pretend to love Cameron.

Every moment she wasn't kissing Marlene was like physical pain. She looked away from Marlene, unable to face it.

But what she saw was also true. James Potter was in love with Lily Evans, because of course he was in love with Lily Evans. He'd probably been predestined to fall in love with her. It was written in the sky. The stars spoke of it to the centaurs. It was the most permanent kind love she'd ever seen. And Dorcas didn't want Marlene to get hurt because of it.

"And even if I was," she said, suddenly quiet. "Even if I was, I would not lie to you. James Potter may not even know it himself, but he's never going to love anyone but Lily Evans. And this is only going to hurt you in the long run. It's only going to hurt you now."

She looked back at Marlene and saw in how much pain she was. "I believe you," said Marlene. And, as if she just had a revelation, she added, "I think I've known it all all along."

When Marlene started crying, Dorcas held her. Because she always would.

"C'mon, let's get you to bed."

She fought against the voice. She was comfortable where she was, on this shoulder. But the shoulder was gone, and instead, hands wrapped around her, picking her up. Squinting, she glared at James, before deciding that arguing was too tiring and leaning against his chest. He was so thin and yet incredibly muscular.

She was thinking taboo thoughts, things that should have never crossed her mind, but she couldn't help it. And she was so tired.

Somehow, suddenly, they were in the common room. It was mostly empty – most students were either asleep or at the party which hadn't died down by the time they left. She opened her eyes when he put her down on the couch.

"I can't bring you up to your room," he whispered, leaning close so only she could hear him. His breath tickled her face and she was glad it was dark enough he couldn't see her blush. "Good night."

"No," she said. It was stupid. She should not have said it. "Stay. Please. Will you stay?" She could feel her heartbeat all over – in her chest, in her arms, in between her ears. She didn't know her heart was this big. She held her breath.

To her relief, he stayed. She made room for him, then leaned on him again. She started to drift back to sleep, but just as she was falling under, she heard James whisper:

"Always."

She said nothing, and eventually fell asleep.

Lily Evans was so beautiful it hurt.

This was not a revelation. This was not news to him. This was simply a fact of life. Lily Evans shined bright, and for a long time he couldn't help but stare, like staring at the sun despite knowing it would hurt your eyes, that it might blind you. He'd thought he loved her. He'd thought that he was enough. Now that he knew what loving her really felt like, he knew the truth.

He would never be enough.

This was the thought that kept him up at night. This was why he had resolved himself to love Marlene. This was why he'd been so –

James Potter loved Lily Evans, and she would never love him back, and this was why he was everything he was.

And now she was on his lap, sleeping. He felt warm all over, as if her mere touch burned him alive. He didn't dare to move. He barely dared to breathe. When he was sure she was asleep, he thought of her question – Will you stay? – and told her the truth: "Always." He would always love her, and he would stay if she asked and leave if she didn't, because he was still breathing, because she was still breathing.

He'd said it because it had to be said, even if he would never say it again. He'd said it because this would be the last time. He'd said it because he loved her but she didn't love him, and after tonight, he would devote himself to Marlene, body and soul. The difference this year made was not nothing. It was time to move on. It was time to leave his heart behind.

It was probably three in the morning when she stirred, woken up by drunken seventh-years stumbling through the common room. Blinking, she asked James how long she'd been asleep.

"I don't know," he said truthfully. He'd been hoping she'd stay like that forever.

"Well, I think I'm going to bed," she informed him, yawning. "Goodnight, James."

He noticed that she called him by his first name – of course he did – but his response remained, "'Night, Evans."

She had climbed up the stairs, but came running down before he had the chance to gather his wits. "Potter?"

"What is it?" he said immediately, snapping to attention. Was she alright?

"You know that Sirius is still angry with you, right?"

It was a sunny morning, the day bright and new. Rumors passed through the crowds like wildfire, all telling a tale of Lily Evans and James Potter. But by the time the Hogwarts Express had pulled into the station, there was an even juicier rumor running around: that morning, by the lake, the infamous on-again off-again relationship between James Potter and Marlene McKinnon had been terminated, and this time, it was permanent.

Some said that McKinnon did it because Potter had been cheating on her with Evans. Others believed that they were tired of each other. A small voice suggested that McKinnon was perhaps not into guys at all, but that was dismissed out of hand – everyone had seen McKinnon with Potter, and they had a rather hands-on type of relationship.

The one thing everybody agreed on, the part of the buzz that didn't die down or get twisted even as it spread through the train's multiple cars, was that Marlene McKinnon – the quiet, the polite, the easygoing – was the one to end it.

A/N: You're welcome.

Okay, seriously, this has obviously been a long time coming. I have been claiming this is a Jily fic and then in like, the seventh chapter I get James together with another girl. I get the frustration. Believe when I say I was putting myself through it too. But I can promise you - McOtter is done with. That's it. No more fluffy romance, only pain from now on, 'kay?

Great.

As I've said before, this is a two-parter as an homage to the second/third chapters, and to show how much the characters (and I, as a writer) have grown. The second part will be set on the train back to London. But since I've counted each of them as a self-contained chapter, you'll have to wait a bit before you see the beginning of the summer holidays. That said, I'm going on a school trip for five days next week. Let's hope I survive.

I would like to thank all of you - the people who've stuck with me since chapter 1 and the people who have just followed the story right now - because without you, there's no way I would have ever gotten this far.

Please continue to favorite, follow, share and review while I'm gone.

Lots of hope for a quick update,

JustGail