summary: Looking for a fresh start after some tough times, Sarah and her three-year-old daughter move to LA. When they find a sweet curly-haired nerd who lives next door, though, Sarah realizes they might just find more happiness than they'd ever imagined, if only her past doesn't catch up to her first. AU.

a/n: Naming this chapter was harder than writing it, for reals. But here we are, the penultimate chapter… I'm kinda emotional that this is all wrapping up, now. I really hope you guys like this chapter and where I take these three. If you do, please leave me a review on your way out, you rockstars, you.

disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, coffee, road trips, or pizza dough.

The Resolution

"We need to talk."

Those words are rarely good news, she knows. So often, they spell doom in relationships, the end. And she can't help but think that she and Chuck have been through so much already, there may not be much more they can deal with. There may not be much more she can say. She stays where she is, standing across from Chuck, and gauges his expression as he eyes her. She'd thought he would be angry, that she lied to him, that she's the reason he got hurt, that she just left the other day, walked away instead of explaining things more.
But he just looks, normal. Like Chuck. If a little jittery.

She nods, and he keeps his distance, looking at her.

"I, uh, I thought about what you told me. That you think this," He points at his bandaged arm. The sight of it sends a wave of sickness through her. "Is your fault, because you used to work for the CIA. And I- I can understand, why you think that."

She sighs, worries her lip, looks away and focuses determinedly on the floor. Her past, her lies, her decisions, have ruined the best thing she's ever known.
"I'm sorry." she murmurs, shaking her head. "I really tried to not let this happen, and—and I just screwed it all up."

"It's okay." His voice is surprisingly light at that. "Because I also decided... I don't care."

Her eyebrows raise, head snapping up to see him again. He's smiling a little, almost a smirk, still light as anything. Like he didn't get shot a couple days ago, like their worlds haven't all but fallen apart recently.
"What?"

"I don't care." he repeats, with a shrug this time, before furrowing his brow just a little. "O—okay, I do care, a little bit. I… I kinda care that you didn't tell me about everything, I guess, I mean, these past few months would've been a lot easier if I knew all that. And I care that this has been hurting you for so long, wanting to tell me, and I wish you hadn't had to deal with it all yourself. And I care that you feel that this is because of you, I care about your opinion on that. But I also, sorta, don't mind."

She swallows, blinks at him.
"What?" It's all she can possibly think to ask, again. Chuckling a little, briefly, he lifts a shoulder and continues.

"While you were away these past couple days, I had time to process everything you told me, I've been thinking on it all. And- and at first I was kinda a little mad that you didn't tell me, yeah, but, when I thought about it, I got why you didn't, and, in the end, I don't really care that you didn't tell me everything before now, I don't care that maybe this happened because of you. I sorta don't care that you used to be a spy- I don't care in a bad way, about that, at least."

"I..." She shakes her head, frowns. Resists the urge to step forward, ask him what the hell he's talking about. "No, you- you should care. Chuck, I should have told you. I could've stopped it. I put your life in danger, and I cut you out of any choice about that, you shouldn't forgive that."

"Maybe not," He shrugs. "And at first, I was... hurt, about that, but, uh, sanctimonious as it kinda sounds, I do forgive you. You didn't tell me, and I'm okay with that. I understand why you did what you did."
He's still speaking so lightly, no nonchalant, she almost laughs. But she doesn't. Because she doesn't understand why he's being like this, why he's letting her get away with it.

"Chuck, I lied to you," she presses, insistent, almost pleading as she tries to get him to just realize that.

He simply shrugs again.
"No, no, you just never said. And I know, why you didn't, I understand that. I mean, you worked for the CIA… And I can only imagine how scary it must have been, with this Caria guy out there. And you didn't really lie, when you think about it. I never asked you if you used to be a spy, or—or whether you weren't telling me about some criminal coming after me, so when you didn't tell me, you weren't lying."

She tries not to roll her eyes at his persistence- she was in the wrong, she can accept that, she'd understand whatever he chooses to do.
"I still-"

He moves forward, raises his hands passively. A peace offering, yet a totally different one to the one she'd received in DC. Here, Chuck just smiles once more, the tiniest bit, his eyes crinkling at the sides.
"Sarah, I don't wanna pester you. I don't wanna be a nuisance. I get why what happened upset you, but... you need to know I don't hold it against you. I know how difficult trying to tell me all this would've been, and—and honestly it might've totally freaked me out if I hadn't already been shot and knew everything you were saying was true last week. You were a spy, that's… That's not something you hear every day from someone you…" He trails off, shakes his head, and she can only blink at him in disbelief. "And I mean, you've got Ames to worry about, if you'd told me then I would've been in just as much danger, too, and, and honestly I would've been pretty scared, knowing someone might've been out there, trying to hurt me, or hurt you guys. I can only imagine how scared you must have been, god. There was plenty of stuff for you to worry about without adding me to it all."

"I should've told you." she repeats, and he pulls a face.

"Okay." He nods, folds his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you?"

She startles a little at his matter-of-fact way of asking, sounding bizarrely like one of her bosses trying to get her to explain her reasoning for something at work. Asking her to prove her logic. She mimics his stance, arms across her chest, and swallows a little, forcing herself to be honest, here.
"I wanted to protect you, mainly, from everything, both the threat and the... the kind of world I used to live in. And, and I was scared of losing you, either through making you run because of what I used to be or you trying to escape the danger, or you getting hurt worse than you did." She gnaws on her lip. "And, and it doesn't make it better, but I was struggling enough with what was happening, I didn't want to put that on you, too. So I just didn't tell you."

He nods again, slowly, processing it all.
"Okay, yeah, no, I still feel the same." She chokes, but he just keeps going. "I can't guarantee it because I don't think I'd ever be in this kinda situation myself, but, if things switched I'd probably do the same. I mean, Sarah, I would always choose to protect you. You, and Ames. I figured that's what you were doing and why you kept things from me, and you just told me that. And yeah, eventually the guy came after me, but that was his choice, he chose to track you down, and he chose to try to use me to get to you. That's not on you. I really don't blame you, for any of this."

His voice is so calm, so warm, so open. So accepting and forgiving. It just pains her all the more. Because there's a bandage on his arm that's there due to her, and there's a rift between them that she and she alone caused. And she could just accept everything he's saying, sure, she could just let it go and move on, but that wouldn't be fair to him. She's taken the easy way out before, and she's not going to do that this time. Not with Chuck, not anymore.

"How can you not?" she asks, bitterly, ignoring the slight fog to her vision. Ignoring the sickness in her stomach. She wraps her arms around herself, takes a deep breath. She'd hate herself, were she in his shoes. She hates herself enough right now, being in her own.

Pulling a face, Chuck stops. Shrugs. When he speaks, she thinks he's changed the subject completely.
"Because- Y'know, I was gonna tell you this, in the hospital. I had it all, like, eloquently written out, in my head, I came up with it in the ambulance just in case something happened. But since I'm here, I might as well shoot straight." He pauses, and Sarah frowns, no clue where he's headed. And then he shakes his head, smiles again. "I love you."

She blinks, stomach falling through the floor. Every thought, every excuse, just stops. Ceases. Stalls.
"What?"

"I love you," he repeats, words trembling a little. "I'm in love with you. I love you. God, I've been bottling this up forever, I love you-"

"Chuck," she chokes out, somehow, she truly has no idea how, before he can keep going, and he stops with a sheepish grin. She can't muster up anything at all in response. Once more, as he's done so many times before, he's stolen her very breath, her thought, every word.

"Sorry, I'm—I've wanted to say that for months, I'm getting kinda out of hand. But, Sarah, you're the most amazing person I've ever met. And I've loved you for... so long." He shakes his head. Sarah isn't sure she's really awake, right now. "I already thought you were incredible, with everything you've done, you've gone through, but when I was thinking these past couple days, knowing you were a spy before all this and trying to figure that out, I just admire you even more. I mean, I knew things were tough for you, but sometimes you would get this look in your eyes, or, or you wouldn't tell me things, and I thought I knew how you felt but then you'd do that, and, I knew there had to be something else going on. And this just… I don't know, it makes sense. Giving that up, leaving that, it can't have been easy to let it all go, and then have it all come back to you and hurt you."

Taking the out, she replies to the one thing she thinks she can without her voice likely trembling.
"I... no."

He smiles a little, lopsided, steps closer.
"You and Ames, you're the greatest things that have ever happened to me. You're beautiful, you're smart. Amy laughs at all of my stupid jokes," She snorts a wet laugh at that—she does, too. "Every day, I just don't know how I got so lucky, to meet you guys, to have you in my life. And I just thank god that you moved in here. What you've brought, what you mean to me... I just love you. I don't care if you were a spy, I really don't, and I don't mind that you didn't let me in on this, because, at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure nothing in the world could make me feel any differently about you."

"Chuck," she sighs, as his hand reaches out, finds hers. His thumb strokes the inside of her wrist and her breath catches in her throat. She's not that shocked to find tears in her eyes, suddenly, blurring her vision, and she blinks them away before they can fall. This isn't a sad moment, this is... anything but.

"I know you're probably still dealing with all this, and everything that happened," he says, after a beat, apparently misinterpreting her silence. "And, I just kinda threw that on you, and it's a lot, and-"

"I love you too."

She should be surprised, at saying that. She's never said that, to any man in any relationship before. Before this moment, she didn't even know she loved Chuck. Except, she did, she realizes. She always has done.
Every look, every touch, every moment that sat with her, sent a thrill through her, warmed her, moved her. Every time she'd feel that spark when their skin met. Every smile he'd send her way. Missing him on days she didn't see him, wishing he was there with her. The ache she'd feel when she'd watch him with Amy, so perfect and loving and warm, the family she'd longed for, Chuck the perfect addition. The light he makes her feel, the joy. Oh, the joy.

She's loved him for such a long time. And so, she isn't actually surprised to find herself telling him.

Chuck blinks.
"You do?" He doesn't sound disbelieving, or look suspicious. In fact, he just seems a little breathless.

"Yes." It seems so clear now, everything she's done, because of the feelings she'd had but refused to realize. And, though this talking about her feelings side of things isn't her strong suit, at all, it never has been, she finds she wants to let Chuck know, everything. "Yes. I've wanted to be with you for so long, but I knew that put you in danger, so I kept pushing you away. Even though I didn't want to, even though... the more time we were with you, the more I saw you with Ames, I just kept falling in love with you, more and more. And that just made me want to protect you more, which made me love you more..."

Eyes wide and shining, he lifts a hand, gently strokes her cheek, and she holds back a whimper at the feelings it sparks in her.
He loves her. She loves him. And somehow she just feels even worse over how she's acted, toward him, toward this man who loves her so much.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," she murmurs, again, and he just lifts his lips in a warm, so warm, half-smile.

"It's in the past." His voice is just as low, and his eyes dart to her mouth. Her own do the same. "We can start new."

Sighing, she feels herself lean in closer despite trying not to. Despite trying to keep something of a clear head even though these feelings are making her dizzy.
"I still don't know what I did to deserve you," she says, quiet still, and he chuckles softly.

"Well, I hate to tell you, but did something or didn't, you've kinda got me anyway."

She can't help but laugh at that, grin stretching over her lips, and he moves even closer. Close enough she has to look right up at him, close enough his breath lightly rushes over her cheeks. The air changes, and her smile fades.
"You've got me, and you've got Amy, too." She nods, determinedly. "No more secrets, no more lies. You've got us if you want us."

He pauses, something else filling his gaze, more than just warmth and love. It's something more whole. Like, contentment.
"Oh, I do," he breathes.

"Chuck?" she asks, in a daze, almost wondering how she's still standing with her heart racing as quickly as it is.

"Yeah," he murmurs, voice low. Thick. She smiles up at him, revels in the moment.

"We still have a lot to talk about... But, kiss me."

He needs no further prompting, stepping forward, slipping his hand round her waist with his good arm, and pressing his lips to hers. It's soft, and sweet, but lined with aching overwhelming love, tinged with desperation. She cups his cheeks, pulls him down to her, kisses him over and over, the feeling overwhelming. He groans into her mouth, lips hot against her own as he picks up where he'd left off the other morning, hand slipping beneath her shirt, against her bare skin, and she gasps, pulling away and resting her face against his neck. She presses a kiss there, but moans as his fingers sweep her skin.
Her control is dissipating, way too quickly.

"We shouldn't. Your arm..."

"It's fine," he says, pulling her closer as if to prove it. His lips brush her temple, hot. "Really, it doesn't hurt much anymore, the stitches just need to heal."

"I don't want you to pull it," she insists. It's her fault he's hurt, she wouldn't wanna make it worse. Even if this is for a good reason. A reason she really, really wants right now.

"I just shouldn't put much weight on it." He pulls back, drags the fingers of his uninjured hand down her arm, stroking her elbow, her wrist, before his fingers lace with hers, eyes locked onto her own the whole time. It leaves her as breathless as the kiss did. "I've still got one good arm. And you can pull that one all you like,"

Smirking at his very intentional meaning, she kisses him again, walking backwards through the apartment to her room. Maybe it's foolish, to rush in like this, but she loves him and he loves her, and frankly, Amy's not here. There will be no interruptions. And she's waited long, long enough, in some ways. Once she'd gotten a taste of him on Thanksgiving, way back in last year, she'd been a goner, and she knows it.

And so she kisses him more, pulls him close, and lets herself get lost in him.

She wakes to find an empty just-cooling bed by her side, and the sound of Chuck humming in the kitchen. The singing is what's woken her up, in fact, but it's in a good, sated, loving way rather than an annoyed way, and she slips out of bed and pulls on his t-shirt, heading through the apartment to seek him out. She finds him in the kitchen, standing in front of the coffee machine as he sings and hums, the scent of caffeine in the air, and she almost kisses him there and then, again. She's still exhausted, especially since they didn't do much sleeping last night, and coffee is exactly what she'll need for today. She just watches him for a minute, as he dances a little dorkily, wearing only his boxers and the bandage on his arm, before she clears her throat.

He looks over his shoulder with a grin.
"Good morning. I was just making you coffee."

She slinks up behind him, slips her arms around his waist, rises on her tiptoes to look over his shoulder.
"So I see." She cranes her neck to plant a kiss to his jaw, then lowers herself, content just to hold him as he pours out the drinks. She didn't think it was possible to feel this good, just because of one person. To feel this alive, vibrant, giddy and warm at the same time. And she already felt that with him, at times, but she just feels it even more now, truly being with him. Starting new. Getting to share mornings, like this, with him and his dorky dancing. She presses a kiss to his bare back, between his shoulder blades, and he chuckles a little, moving to turn. She keeps her arms around him as he faces her and hands her a cup. She'd probably add something so it isn't just black, normally, but that requires moving and she really can't be bothered right now. Not while she's wrapped up in him.

He grins down at her, sips his coffee.
"So what are we doin' today?"

"I, have to go to my mom's," she says, with a sigh and then a sip of coffee. It's hot and strong, waking her even a little in just a sip. Or that might actually be due to Chuck's arm around her waist, light since it's his injured one, but there all the same. "Ames is with her, plus I need to get the rental car back over there."

"Oh yeah. We, uh, we never really talked, I guess." He flushes a little and she knows where his head's at. What they'd done instead of talking. She knows she's regretted that choice before, pursuing her desires rather than opening up, since the last time, that ended in him being shot before she could explain her past, but right now she feels a little less regretful. A little more like the delay was very, very worth it. Besides, they still talked a bit. He knows she loves him, now. "How come you left Amy at your mom's?"

Taking another sip, she nods.
"One of the many things we need to talk about," she says, and he raises an eyebrow. "I flew there with Amy, and then I got the car and drove to DC."

"DC? Like, Washington DC, DC?" He raises an eyebrow.

She smirks, shrugs.
"Yeah, that one. Like I said, in my note and- and in the hospital, I had to leave to fix things, and make sure what happened to you, and Caria, can't happen again. So I took Amy to my mom's, and then went to the CIA headquarters, in DC, and I... had some words, with my old boss. I'm sorry for just leaving, and being so unreachable, there, I knew I had to go as soon as all this ended. The longer I waited, the more he'd think I was okay with what happened. So I just drove there and spoke to him and came right back, I barely slept,"

He nods, eyes sympathetic, but the smile he sends her is a little strained.
"I gotta admit, I was a little worried you weren't gonna come back." he says, and she shakes her head, reaches up to cup his cheek.

"I would never leave you, Chuck. Never for longer than I had to, I promise," He smiles again, a little warmer this time, and she's about to lean in and kiss him just to reassure him further, but a sudden thought occurs to her, and she freezes. "Wait, you don't know about Bryce."

Chuck frowns, probably at what, to him, is likely a completely unrelated topic.
"Bryce? What about him? Did he show up again, or...?"

Swallowing, she shakes her head, steps back.
"Um. C'mere, sit down." She tugs him out of the kitchen and over to the couch, and he sits by her side, eyeing her curiously, a little worriedly. She takes a deep breath as she wonders quite where to start. "Did you speak to the police, about what happened? Did they mention what happened to the man who shot you, Caria?"

"No. I-I mean I spoke to them, but they didn't say anything about him. I know he was shot, though, he was on the ground when the EMTs got to me, I saw him from the ambulance. I didn't see who did it, I was, um. Kinda minorly passed out from the shock of…" He gestures to his arm, seemingly a little embarrassed, and she tries not to smile in case he thinks she's mocking him. But honestly, it's just such a Chuck thing to do. "There were police and stuff around him, though."

She gulps a little, putting together the facts.
"That would've been a CIA cleanup crew. Caria was..." Stopping herself, she sighs. She has to remind him of what was deemed normal in her former life, of course, for this kind of conversation, but even thinking it herself still makes her skin crawl. "He was killed, by an agent who was tailing him. They saved your life, stopped him shooting you again maybe somewhere more vital, or… or anything else he might've done."

He pales just a little and gulps, nodding slowly.
"Okay. But what does that have to do with Bryce?"

Though she knows it might not be up to her, it's partly not her story to tell, and she doesn't know much of it, she knows Chuck needs to know, he deserves to.

"That agent was Bryce." she murmurs, and his eyes widen. "Chuck, I don't want to keep any more secrets from you, I don't want to lie to you again. I- I never told you, but when I broke up with Bryce, it wasn't just that he'd been cheating on me. It was, he'd been seeing someone else, but he was doing it for a CIA mission. He was an agent, he is one. I didn't know until it was too late, and the moment I did I broke up with him."

"Wait…" Chuck trails off, something slipping onto his features, and Sarah thinks she knows what he's working out, right now. "Is that why he showed up before Thanksgiving? For like, spy stuff?"

She nods, swallows, thinking of that evening.
"Yes. He'd been sent by my old boss to warn me about Caria escaping. Chuck, you have to know, at Thanksgiving, when you kissed me, I—I wanted to be with you so badly. But, but I'd just learned about Caria the day before, and I was so scared of something happening to you—"

"Hey, it's okay," he says, yet again, stroking her cheek and tucking some hair behind her ear. She smiles at him wryly, and he shrugs a little. "Bryce showing up shook me up too, when I talked to him I just wanted to punch him for hurting you back then. And, I—I'll admit I was still so scared I'd messed up everything with you, that day, I didn't have very good timing, kissing you right after your ex had showed up. Even if Bryce hadn't told you what he did, it probably still would've freaked us both out a little bit. But we got over it, eventually,"

"We did," she murmurs with a quiet grin, curling into him a little and thinking of the past few hours. "But I hated that I ran from you, then. I wanted to be with you. And I hated that the CIA had managed to screw up my life again."

He raises an eyebrow.
"Again?"

"Yeah, I… I mean with Bryce, I couldn't date someone who was risking our lives every day, going on missions then coming back to me in the evening, endangering Amy..." He nods at that, perhaps understanding now one instance of the agency messing with her. The other, though, she knows he won't even guess. "But I just didn't want to be connected to the CIA, especially with what happened, with Mark."

Looking a little stunned, Chuck blinks.
"Mark is part of all this too?"

She shakes her head, then stops.
"He was never supposed to be. I never told you how he died."

"It's not...?" He sounds pained, disbelieving, and she sighs.

"No. No, he was a civilian. But he was friends with a rogue spy, he didn't even know it. There was an operation to take down the guy, and Mark got caught in the crosshairs. They considered him collateral damage, a necessary loss. That's why I quit, I-I couldn't stay with them, not then. I was already questioning things, but when he died I just... I had to walk away from all that." She shakes her head again, and Chuck furrows his brow in sympathy, aching. And then he blinks suddenly, and she sees he's connecting the dots.

"But you just went back,"

"Yeah. For you. To make sure nothing like this happens again, to make sure you're safe." She'd never really thought about it, honestly. She'd just known she had to do it, for Chuck. She reaches up, cups his cheek, and he covers her hand with his own, holding her touch there. "But Bryce is an agent, Chuck. He probably has been for a while. I—In fact, he, um, when he was here at Thanksgiving he said he didn't want to tell me fully, so I didn't have to lie you to about it, but he mentioned the CIA had something to do with, what happened to you at Stanford."

He gapes.
"What the-? I…" He shakes his head, stunned once more, and Sarah sighs in annoyance, annoyance for him, for whatever it was that Bryce wouldn't tell her, whatever reason he had for ruining Chuck's future. "Did—I mean, was he with the CIA back then, or…?"

"I don't know, Chuck, I should've asked, but he'd already told me so much and I didn't even know what to think, and…"

Though she expects him to be annoyed or maybe saddened, before her Chuck just sighs, laughs a little in disbelief.
"No, it's Bryce's fault for not telling me, I just... God, this is insane. It sounds like something out of a movie."

"I know," she murmurs, thumb sweeping against his jaw. "But he did save your life in that warehouse, Chuck. And however much I might hate him, I'll never be sorry for that."

He takes a deep breath.
"Seriously, the guy just keeps being something else. First he slept with Jill, then he didn't, but he hurt you guys, which he did but he also just saved my life..." He shakes his head. "It's crazy."

She smiles sadly, strokes his neck.
"Spy life usually is." She sighs, watching him, not quite sure where his head's at. She knows he's already had so many bombshells dropped on him the past few days, but one as big as this, that relates back to his life from years ago, his old best friend, that could be something tough to deal with. After a beat, though, he just shrugs, leans in closer to her.

"Like real life is much more normal," He smirks, and she grins, leaning into him. He nudges her shoulder gently, looks down at her. "Hey, thank you for telling me, all that. I appreciate it."

"No more secrets," she murmurs, and he smiles, soft and warm and wide, before swooping down and and kissing her.

When she pulls back minutes later, fairly breathless for many reasons, an idea has taken hold, one she can't shake.
"Hey, I, uh, I have a proposition for you."

He tangles his fingers in hers once more, nodding.
"What is it?"

"Come to my mom's with me?" He raises an eyebrow, evidently surprised, and she shrugs. "I know it's a lot, this soon, and I know we're still dealing with things, but my mom wants to meet you, she has done for months, and I want you to meet her. And I know Amy will want to see you. I feel bad, I just took her right away, she barely even said goodbye to you."

"You had your reasons." he murmurs, running his thumb over her knuckles. "Did what you did in DC do good? Did it keep you, Ames, safer?"

She knows what he's getting at, and nods, smiling a little.
"Yeah."

"Then I don't mind. I get why you left. I wish you'd told me, just so I would've worried less, but then, I wish you hadn't had to go in the first place." He kisses her gently, squeezes her hand, and she tries not to just fall into him, his love, his reassurance. Thankfully, he pulls back after a few wonderful seconds. "I'll come to your mom's. I can keep you from getting bored on the drive."

She snorts a laugh, though she can tell he's deflecting from the probably pretty big idea of meeting her mom.
"Okay. I need to pack, and we can leave at lunchtime. I was planning to be gone already by now, but... I don't mind running late." She smirks, kissing him again, and somehow finding the willpower to step away and head into her room to pack.

"My Dad was a conman," she says, hours into the drive. The music is turned low, the road is clear, and Chuck's hand is in hers atop the gears. They've talked a lot already, about a lot of things, but this, she knows she needs to trust him with. She sneaks a look at him, seeing him looking surprised but nodding, slow.

"Okay. And that's what got him arrested?"

"Yeah. We were always traveling when I was growing up, because he could never stay in one place too long, in case it all caught up to him, or someone he conned in town tried to find him. When I was 17 we were living in San Diego, and I got home from school one day, and the ATF and police were everywhere. He was walking out the front door in handcuffs."

Chuck squeezes her hand.
"I'm sorry,"

"It's okay. What he did was wrong, and sometimes really dangerous. Honestly, prison was safer for him than most states would be. But... I'd always been there, on the cons. I'd helped. I didn't really realize what we were doing was wrong, it was just fun to spend time with my Dad. I'd distract people, pretend to be hurt, be lost... And he'd rob them, con them, anything. By the time he got arrested I hated it all and I refused to be a part of anything, but when I saw them arresting him, my first thought was still that they could get me too."

He's frowning when she looks over at him again.
"But it wasn't your fault. You were just a kid,"

"I know. And, and looking back I don't think they would have done anything. But I ran. Dad had left a stack of cash in the woods for me for emergencies, he always did, anywhere we were. So I ran and I found it. Just when I'd dug it out, I heard this, um, this noise, behind me." She pauses, but Chuck runs his thumb over her wrist, reassuringly, and she takes a deep breath. "My Dad always taught me how to use knives. How to throw them. He was never into guns, not even into knives, but he thought it would be useful, and I liked the time spent with him... I had the knife I'd used to open the box of money, and I turned around and threw it. I just missed hitting the guy who's now the Director of the CIA."

"That's how you ended up there? Wait—you said you were 17?"

"Mmhm," she says tightly, nodding, and Chuck's hand squeezes hers. "The Director, Graham, he recruited me, trained me. Not much was above-board, I was a kid who'd do anything."

"God, that's…"

"Yeah, it's- In some ways it kept me safe when I didn't have a parent, anymore, but I also… I hate it. If that ever happened to Amy…" She trails off, shakes her head in slight fear at just the concept. "I didn't speak to my father again until Amy was born. I knew he'd never known I got recruited, for all he knew I was still on the grift. And I knew that when he got out he'd probably find me, eventually, and try to drag me back into it. Sometimes a young woman is easier to send on a con than a middle-aged guy, y'know?"

Chuck blinks a little, nods on a delay, and she knows he's trying to wrap his mind around the idea of the con game.
"And with Amy…"

"I knew having a child would be one of the few things to make my Dad back off. He'll be out soon, but he knows I have a family and that I can't just be dragged into one of his crazy schemes again, even if he might never know I was a spy." She gnaws her lip, watches the road for a couple of beats before continuing. "But you were right, when you said quitting the spy life because I got pregnant wouldn't have been easy. I'd never had a real life anyway, and by the time I stopped being an agent all I knew was how to run missions, and work. I had to learn how to have a normal life all over again. While pregnant."

He sighs.
"I still wish I could've been there, somehow. To think that as you're about to have a kid, that must've been awful."

"It was. But I told my mom everything, and she helped, a lot," She swallows. "I thought I'd managed to get used to it all. Until just before Thanksgiving, Bryce showed up, and I realized I suddenly didn't know how to balance the life I'd had with the one I have now. With you, and with Amy. And, and the moment we were in danger I went right back into my training- don't open up, don't trust people, and you won't put them at risk. I did it before I realized. And I was so worried that letting you know how I felt would get you hurt. Which it did."

He shrugs, but doesn't say it's fine, hopefully because he knows she's sorry enough over it by now. They've started new, after all.
"For what it's worth, I don't think you could ever be normal, Sarah Walker. You're far too amazing to be that."

She snorts, pokes his hand a little before curling her fingers around his.
"Well, I'd like to try. And- and I think that starts with you,"

"Me?" he asks, sounding surprised, and she tries not to laugh. How can he not realize he is her top—or, well, second including Amy—priority in life right now?

"Yes, you. I want to be with you, properly, Chuck. I know we're probably past the normal dating stage anyway, but I do want to just... be normal. And I'd like it, if Amy were to know."

"Okay," He nods in her peripheral vision, and she turns to him briefly, smiling a little.

"Really?"

It's not that she'd expected him to say no, but there's something of a difference between being in a relationship and being in a relationship and letting the four-year-old who loves you both, know that. Amy has never been pushy about Chuck and Sarah, she knows, mainly because the little girl has only ever known her mother as a single parent, and perhaps only briefly with Bryce within her memory. But she's never had the joint mother and father to yearn for, never expected her mother to be dating someone, she's just so used to their normal format. And though she adores Chuck, Sarah knows she loves him as the parent-like presence he is toward her, Amy, rather than what she is toward Sarah as much. As she gets older, though, the strangeness of what Sarah used to have with Chuck, a relationship without it actually being one, would probably have dawned on the little girl, would've gotten weirder and weirder with time. Eventually, she would've wanted to know what Chuck is in their lives. Now, when they tell her that Chuck and Sarah are dating, Sarah knows her little girl will realize that changes Chuck's role in their lives. Plus, them dating implies Chuck will spend even more time with them, and that alone will change things to Amy. She'll love him even more.

"Yeah. I mean, we've always been about stability with her, letting her know makes sense. And I wouldn't wanna keep it from her."

"Yeah, exactly. And- and you'll probably be around a little more, a lot more," She bites back a flush while Chuck simultaneously clears his throat. It's funny how different addressing the new nature of their relationship is, compared to being in it. "And... I think, eventually, we could be a pretty good little... family." He breathes in sharply, and she pauses. "Was that too much?"

He sighs, in thought this time, it sounds like.
"Would it be weird to say no?"

She shakes her head.
"No."

"Okay, then... no."

"You know you're basically her Dad, right?" she asks, looking at him briefly. He doesn't answer, and she shrugs, because she knows her words are true. They have been for a long, long time. "I know the two of us have barely even... But you mean so much to her, yourself, and she loves you so much, you know that. She's never been like this with anyone else, she just… adopted you as hers, I think, kinda without us even noticing at first. You just fit right in with us, with both of us. And I never even dreamed I'd find that."

He squeezes her hand tight, sniffs a little.
"Me neither. But she's amazing, and I love her too. She's just... she's perfect. Every time I'm with her, I just think she's like, the sweetest thing to ever exist." He chuckles, and she grins, even as her heart starts to race at his words. She feels the exact same about her little girl. "I never really knew if I'd want kids. Or, or I think I always did, but I just never kinda, focused on it. And then the more time I spent with Ames... I realized I really wanted them."

She swallows again, and gives up any pretence.
"You have one, in her."

"Sarah, I don't wanna step on any-"

"Mark is dead, Chuck." she interrupts, and silence falls within the car. Shaking her head, she keeps going. "That can't change. He never even knew Amy existed. And maybe it sounds callous to think of you in his place, but that's what's happened. He's Amy's father by blood, but you're the one who's been there for a year, you're the one who does all the- the Dad stuff with her. You treat her just like I do, you love her just like I do. It's not Mark's fault that he's not here, but he isn't, and you are. That's what matters to me. And that's what matters to Amy. That you're here."

"Okay." He nods, takes a deep shuddering breath. "Okay."

She sniffs, way too emotional over something she already knew. But saying it aloud, voicing it, that always makes it more real. She clears her throat.
"It's getting pretty late, and pretty dark. We should find a motel, if we leave early enough tomorrow we'll get there before dinner."

"I'll keep an eye out," he murmurs, soft, hand still in hers.

They spot a decent-looking place after a half hour of virtually silent driving, and the moment they're both out of the car, Chuck rounds to her side, slips his arms around her and kisses her, deeply, stealing her breath and all conscious thought. He rests his forehead against hers when he pulls back, and she keeps her eyes open, gaze locked on his.

"What was that for?"

"I love you so much." he breathes, breath caught, eyes glinting.

Her knees suddenly feel weak again, and she bites her lip as her own breath hurries a little bit.
"I love you too." And with that, she grabs his good hand, tugs their bags out of the trunk, and hurriedly drags him to reception, getting a room as quickly as possible. She's wrapped around him again the moment they step into the room, and she doesn't leave his arms for a long, long time.

She notices him getting antsy once he spies the sign for their destination. Sees how he rubs his hands on his thighs, scratches the back of his neck, runs a hand through his hair, looks out of the window, and then does the whole thing all over again.

"Are you nervous, Chuck?" she asks, a little surprised. He looks over at her, eyes widening a little.

"Uh. Yes. Is it weird to be nervous? Should I be nervous? I-"

"I suppose I can see why you would be," she says, trying her best to sound reassuring, reaching out and curling her fingers into his. "But there's no reason to be. My mom knows about you, she knows how important you are to us." And, Sarah had already called ahead to her mother to let her know Chuck is coming today, too, so she's not going to be surprised or shocked at his appearance.

"That makes it even worse! What if she thinks that but then she meets me and she thinks I'm terrible?"

She chuckles softly, though not at him, more at his ridiculousness.
"She won't think that, at all, trust me. First, you're definitely not terrible, and she's also just not that kind of person." At least, Sarah doesn't think so. She's well aware Chuck is the first of her... boyfriends? (they haven't yet used the term but it certainly fits) her mother will have met. She'd known about Bryce, but never met him. And before that, well, Sarah barely even spoke to her. But as she's gotten to know her mom better over the years, she's grasped the kind of person the woman is, and a judging one, she isn't. She's warm, and kind, and frankly forgiving, too, open-minded. And Sarah just knows, somehow, that her mom will like Chuck. And anyway, even if she were a meaner person, Chuck is very, very hard to dislike.

"Wait, what do I call her?" he suddenly asks. "Ms Walker? Or—"

"Her last name isn't Walker," Sarah says, then gnaws on her lip with a wince. "My name… isn't Sarah Walker, either—at least, it wasn't."

When she casts a look at Chuck, she sees him blinking in confusion.
"What?"

"I'm explaining this badly," She sighs, and he hums in assurance, squeezes her hand. "My name wasn't Sarah Walker, when I was born. When I moved with my Dad, we changed names in every town. When he got arrested I was going by Jenny Burton, he was Jack. He's still stuck with that name. And when I got recruited, the Director suggested Sarah Walker. You're not supposed to use your real name as an agent anyway…"

"And you stayed with it when you left?"

"Yes." She nods. "That was my name legally, anyway, and I'd been Sarah longer than I'd been anyone else since I was born, by that point. I felt like Sarah Walker. And I thought about changing it for a while- maybe Caria wouldn't have found me if I had- but I kept it."

He smirks sweetly by her side.
"Well I like it. I like the Walkers," he says, and she grins. Not just at him saying that, though partly that, too, but also that his first thought hasn't been just to ask what her real name is. He's not demanding to know that. She would tell him anyway, of course, but she's not lying—she feels like Sarah Walker. It's Sarah Walker who's in love with this man by her side. Much like she was when she last saw her mom at Christmas, Sam is just the memory of the girl she used to be.

She chuckles, shakes her head.
"So, don't call my mom Ms Walker. She calls me Sarah, though, because that's who I am and she knows it'd be weird for Ames if she didn't, but she's not a Walker. You can just call her Emma."

"Emma, okay." He nods. "I can do that. Is there, like, anything I could talk about with her? Movies she likes?"

"I-" She pauses, frowns. "I don't know, really. I never talk about those kinds of things with her, you definitely won't have to."

He takes a deep breath, nods again.
"But-"

"Chuck." She looks over at him, and can't help but grin when he meets her eyes a little anxiously. "Don't freak out."

He laughs softly, sends her a smile back.
"I'll try."

Keeping her hand in his, she stays quiet the rest of the drive, and Chuck seems to relax, thankfully, keeping calm as she pulls off the freeway and drives into the town, around the neighborhood she still doesn't really know, and then pulls up outside her mom's place.

She turns to Chuck once she's stopped, smiles at him.
"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he says, though lightly, smiling, and she chuckles, leaning across the console to briefly kiss him. She feels him grin against her lips just as she pulls back, and she forces herself to move, get out of the car. The urge to fall into him and never leave is always far too strong, she's realized. And she still can't quite believe they're here, like this, after so long. She gets her bag from the trunk, and reaches for Chuck's to hand it to him. He takes it, and, like he doesn't want to be the one to get there first, waits for her to head toward the house. He's a couple steps behind her as she heads up the porch steps and knocks on the door, but evetually he comes up by her side, arm brushing her own.

Her mom opens the door after a couple moments, smiling at them.
"Hi, honey," she says, then trails off a little, looks at Chuck with a soft, welcoming look.

"Hey, mom," Sarah steps forward, hugging her mother briefly before pulling back, resting a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Mom, this is-"

"Chuck!"
Out of nowhere, Amy appears, barreling toward them both with a squeal, and Sarah manages to halt her daughter's hug attack just in time.

"Ames, Ames, Chuck's hurt, remember?" she says, hands on Amy's shoulders to keep her from leaping. "You gotta be careful with his arm,"

"Oh yeah," Amy nods, then turns to Sarah, settling for jumping up at her instead. "Hi, Mommy! I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby," she murmurs, kissing Amy's cheek briefly and hoisting her up into her arms. From there, the little girl turns to Chuck.

"You're here!"

"I am, bug, hey," He grins as Amy throws her arms around him while still in Sarah's arms, and the little girl giggles happily. Sarah tugs her away only so they can step into her mom's house, Emma moving back to let them in. When they're inside, Sarah clears her throat, tries again.

"Mom, this is Chuck," she says, looking at him. He smiles, a little tighter than Sarah's used to, but she supposes he's just nervous again.

"Hi, Chuck," Emma says, warm and welcoming just like always. "I'm Emma. Sarah's told me a lot about you, glad to have you."

"Yeah, yeah, glad to be here, Emma," he says, a little quietly, and Sarah can't help but think his nerves are adorable, if still unwarranted.

Amy gasps, looking up at Chuck.
"Are you staying?"

Sarah watches as he looks at Emma briefly, but nods.
"Yeah, bug, I'm staying,"

Squealing again, Amy wriggles in Sarah's arms, and since Chuck's set his bag down now she passes the little girl over. Amy goes calm, gentle, and Sarah smiles, thankful that her daughter's remembered to not be too enthusiastic with their neighbor.

"Do you guys want coffee?" Emma asks, and Sarah nods gratefully.

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'll, um, I'll come help you." She knows her mother will have questions, after all, and it's easier to get those out of the way now rather than later.

Sure enough, once they're in the kitchen, away from Chuck and Amy, her mother turns to her.
"How was DC?" she asks, while Sarah reaches for some mugs. "Did you talk to him?"

"I did. He apologized, and told me it won't happen again." She refrains from saying much about Langston Graham and his attempts at justifying his actions, and letting Caria get so close. As much as Sarah loves and trusts her mother, she knows the older woman struggles a little with the spy side of her daughter's life, even if she's technically been out of it for years. Sarah even thinks there's a part of Emma that blames herself for letting Sarah be recruited in the first place, even if, at the time, it seemed better than the alternative. So while Sarah did explain the Caria situation, when she'd dropped Amy off here days ago, and she'd roughly explained what happened to Chuck and why she had to run to DC so abruptly, she didn't go into too many details, and Emma didn't ask. The woman has enough disdain for Graham as it is after him recruiting a child, her child, for the cause, let alone his failings to keep them all safe. Sarah's a little worried that if she told her mother the whole truth she'd have marched to DC herself and roughed the Director up a little.

Now, Emma nods.
"Are you okay?" she asks, and Sarah raises an eyebrow. Her mother just shrugs. "Going back there, having to be who you used to be, that could be tough."

"It was, for a while," she admits. It had been strange, almost alien, storming into headquarters like that, head to toe in weapons. "But I just wanted to get back here, to Ames, I just wanted it to be over. And then once I got into my apartment and Chuck came over it was like I hadn't gone at all."

"Mhm, you and Chuck," Emma says knowingly. "You didn't say, on the phone…"

She doesn't have to clarify. Sarah darts her eyes away, but nods slowly.
"We're together, properly. We're starting new, with both of us on the same page, finally. That's why I wanted him to come here, to meet you. And so he could see Ames. I explained everything, and he understands why I left, but we were talking... She's basically his daughter, and I took her away to come here without even thinking."

"It was a tough thing, but I know you had to go to DC, and I'm sure he does, too." Emma steps closer, rubs her arm reassuringly. "But I'm happy for you, honey. He seems great, and with Amy, too."

"He is great. I..." It's somehow tougher to say to her mom than to Chuck, but she musters up the courage. "I love him."

Emma smiles, soft, eyes a little shiny, and rises up to hug her, warm and reassuring just like she always is.
"I'm so happy for you. God knows you deserve it, someone like him in your life,"

She laughs softly, hugging her mom closer. She resists the urge to say that Chuck is better than she deserves. Because, for all her faults, her recent actions and her knack for almost screwing things up time and again, she also knows Chuck is perfect for her. And she's not going to say she doesn't deserve someone like him.
"He's amazing. And he loves me, and he loves Amy," She shakes her head.

From just last week, feeling so desperately empty and angry as Chuck lay in a hospital bed, Sarah thinking they could never be together, berating herself over her foolishness at letting someone in and where that led, to now, loved and loving and feeling so whole, she feels an entirely different person. A better person. And overall, just a happier person.

Pulling back, she clears her throat, nods at her mom, and Emma grins.
"Go back in there to them, I can make the coffee,"

"You sure?"

She nods, even shoving Sarah gently toward the door, and hands raised in surrender, she steps out, grinning back at her mom before heading back around to the living room. There, she finds Chuck and Amy sitting on the couch, the little girl cuddled into his side, rambling away. She pauses just before reaching them, drinks them in. The two people she loves most. She can hardly believe they're here.

Chuck must hear her, for he looks over, grins all soft and warm.
"Hey," he murmurs, and she moves toward them.

"Hey," She sits by Amy's other side, running a hand through her head of curls as she leans into them both. Chuck stretches out his arm, brushes his knuckles over her cheek, and she feels her eyelids flutter despite herself. God, she loves him. Clearing her throat, she turns to Amy. "So, what were you two talking about?"

"Well, the bug here was just telling me about what she and her grandma have been doing the past couple days,"

Sarah grins, cuddles into her daughter and tickles her neck briefly.
"Oh really? And what's that?"

"Everything! We went to the movies, and the park, and Grandma and me made dinner last night. We had pizzas!"

She chuckles softly.
"Did you toss the dough?" she asks, figuring they might've done that if they made pizzas from scratch, but Amy just frowns.

"Why'd I do that?"

Chuck laughs kindly, tickles Amy's side a moment.
"It's what you do sometimes with pizza dough, Ames, you can throw it up and spin it and it stretches out easier."

"Oh. We rolled it." she says plainly, miming using a rolling pin, and Sarah laughs.

"That works too, baby, it's fine,"

"Can we make pizzas and…" She tilts her head. "…toss the dough, at home?"

"Sure," Sarah says, sparing a thought for her apartment's ceiling. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turns and sees Emma coming in, carrying a tray with four mugs. She smiles at the three of them, setting the tray down and handing Amy her hot chocolate while they get their coffee. And then she takes a seat on the armchair, turns to Chuck.

"So, Chuck, what do you do? Sarah's told me a lot of things about you, but not really that,"

And as he laughs a little and explains his software, the deal going through this very month, Sarah's content to sip her coffee, feel the warmth of her daughter cuddling into her side, and watch the man she loves chat to her mom.

It's the most normal thing she's ever felt. She lets it wash over her, easy, happy, and perfect.

a/n 2: And, scene. Whew, that was a long one, that word count just kept going up and up in my edits, lol. There was so much for them to address and talk about, and so much growth to do in just a few scenes, but hopefully, the way I took them was satisfying enough for you guys. One to go! I won't call it an epilogue because I always feel that suggests it's somehow separate from the story, and I don't consider this that. But it does sum things up nicely, I hope. See y'all in a few days for Chapter 26, 'The Joy'. Alternate title: 'The Sappily Ever After'.

-Kiera :)